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   "Sun, vodka bottles start fire inside Burnsville liquor store" - and thus the final seal is broken. Somebody hold me

04 Nov 2012 07:15 PM   |   5415 clicks   |   MyFox Twin Cities
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AbbeySomeone     
This article is useless without identifying the brand of Vodka.

04 Nov 2012 04:13 PM
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vossiewulf    [TotalFark]  
Damn you refraction, you win again.

04 Nov 2012 04:34 PM
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doglover    [TotalFark]  
That's why gin is superior.

04 Nov 2012 04:37 PM
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TheHighlandHowler    [TotalFark]  
This happened at a local deli, only the clear, spherical coffee pots were the culprit.

04 Nov 2012 05:12 PM
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doglover    [TotalFark]  

TheHighlandHowler: This happened at a local deli, only the clear, spherical coffee pots were the culprit.


Again, gin wins.

Ain't no green Tanqerey bottles starting fire.

04 Nov 2012 05:14 PM
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PhiloeBedoe     
Oddly, the town used to be called Daterapeburg until they changed it at the start of the twentieth century. Seems they didn't want to tempt fate.

04 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
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snuff3r    [TotalFark]  
Noooooooooo!!! The precious things of the store!!!

/lun-don!

04 Nov 2012 06:49 PM
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Fark Rye For Many Whores     
So how much did Shelbyville get paid to change its name?

04 Nov 2012 07:16 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
And you wonder why the sun from Super Mario Bros. 3 scares the hell out of me?

04 Nov 2012 07:19 PM
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the_chief     
♫ Vodka on my cornflakes makes me happy. ♫

04 Nov 2012 07:25 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Burnsville fire officials say they've never heard of so-called firewater could become a fire starter

I've heard alcohol could become make you drunk.

04 Nov 2012 07:28 PM
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Smeggy Smurf     

fusillade762: Burnsville fire officials say they've never heard of so-called firewater could become a fire starter

I've heard alcohol could become make you drunk.


That's a lie. The DHMO they cut the alcohol with is the poison effecting your mind.

04 Nov 2012 07:29 PM
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TuteTibiImperes    [TotalFark]  

AbbeySomeone: This article is useless without identifying the brand of Vodka.


From the video it looks like it was Karkov, which is arguably better suited for use as an accelerant than as a beverage anyway.

04 Nov 2012 07:34 PM
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Mister Peejay     
I am assuming that the vodka itself didn't ignite, but rather sunlight shining through the bottles ignited a cardboard display.

04 Nov 2012 07:37 PM
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Mr. Potatoass     
That's why I only drink dark liquor, from square, or rectangular bottles.

04 Nov 2012 07:38 PM
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ciberido    [TotalFark]  

PhiloeBedoe: Oddly, the town used to be called Daterapeburg until they changed it at the start of the twentieth century. Seems they didn't want to tempt fate.


It's usually safe so long as you keep it separated so you have less than 40 pounds together at a time.

04 Nov 2012 07:42 PM
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tetsoushima     
Did anybody else think the reporter had a weird face?

04 Nov 2012 07:44 PM
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belhade     

Mr. Potatoass: That's why I only drink dark liquor, from square, or rectangular bottles.


Sam Adams six-pack cartons are so high up so they don't accidentally start fires.

04 Nov 2012 07:45 PM
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doglover    [TotalFark]  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: And you wonder why the sun from Super Mario Bros. 3 scares the hell out of me?


Because it's immune to Kuriboh's keds.

04 Nov 2012 07:53 PM
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AssAsInAssassin     

Smeggy Smurf: fusillade762: Burnsville fire officials say they've never heard of so-called firewater could become a fire starter

I've heard alcohol could become make you drunk.

That's a lie. The DHMO they cut the alcohol with is the poison effecting your mind.


IMHO the DHMO be's am commonist plot, irregardlessly of what you may have heard in the mainstreamliberalpress re: vodak.

/CH3CH2OH is hydratropic, and is damn' near impossible to make 100% pure without special equipment.

04 Nov 2012 07:55 PM
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caution    [TotalFark]  
Where's the ironic tag? BURNsville?

04 Nov 2012 07:57 PM
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sweet-daddy-2     
Sunlight? How convienent for Ms. Barrymore.

04 Nov 2012 07:59 PM
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tuna fingers     
FTFA: Usually, the only kind of sun the staff at Red Lion Liquors have to worry about is a type of Spanish beer...

Oh isn't that a cute play on words. Too bad Spain /= Mexico.
Idiot.

www.productopolis.com

04 Nov 2012 08:05 PM
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FatherChaos     
www.selfhelprecordings.com

04 Nov 2012 08:24 PM
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Anagrammer     
The culprit will likely to sentenced to a long term in prism.

04 Nov 2012 08:25 PM
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Gyrfalcon     

fusillade762: Burnsville fire officials say they've never heard of so-called firewater could become a fire starter

I've heard alcohol could become make you drunk.


Obviously.

04 Nov 2012 08:54 PM
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SanjiSasuke     
Vodka in a window? The Sun is there.

/obligatory

04 Nov 2012 08:55 PM
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

doglover: Because it's immune to Kuriboh's keds.


Blasphemy!

No one can withstand the pure destructive power of Kuribo's footwear!

04 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
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VegasVinnie     
This happened to me. My brother had some small round fishbowls with a beta fish inside each one as part of the centerpieces at his wedding reception. At the end of the night I took them all home so that the fish didn't get thrown out. I put them on my kitchen counter and went to sleep. The next morning the sunlight came in through my kitchen window, went through the fishbowls and was focused on a pile of junk mail and bills. After a few minutes, kapoof. I woke up smelling smoke but figured my neighbors were just burning something. It wasn't until I could see the smoke in the air did I check downstairs....

And for those wondering, the fish were fine.

04 Nov 2012 09:35 PM
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GoldenEagle     

caution: Where's the ironic tag? BURNsville?


The high school mascot used to be the Braves. It was deemed offensive and they changed it to the Blaze. That year someone torched the high school.

04 Nov 2012 09:54 PM
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MasterPython     

Mister Peejay: I am assuming that the vodka itself didn't ignite, but rather sunlight shining through the bottles ignited a cardboard display.


It ignighted after the bottles started popping

04 Nov 2012 10:10 PM
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tuna fingers     

GoldenEagle: caution: Where's the ironic tag? BURNsville?

The high school mascot used to be the Braves. It was deemed offensive and they changed it to the Blaze. That year someone torched the high school.


Ha, that is a great story.

04 Nov 2012 10:12 PM
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Your Average Witty Fark User     
Props to subby for spelling vodka correctly.

04 Nov 2012 11:07 PM
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ArcadianRefugee     
Why would you keep liquor exposed to direct sunlight?

04 Nov 2012 11:31 PM
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libranoelrose    [TotalFark]  

ArcadianRefugee: Why would you keep liquor exposed to direct sunlight?


Because it's cheap crap.

05 Nov 2012 02:02 AM
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i upped my meds-up yours     
one of hottest sellers on the floor got a little too toasty when the store was closed last Sunday.

Sunday booze sales MUST be allowed in Minnesota to keep this tragedy from happening again.

05 Nov 2012 03:47 AM
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libranoelrose    [TotalFark]  

i upped my meds-up yours: one of hottest sellers on the floor got a little too toasty when the store was closed last Sunday.

Sunday booze sales MUST be allowed in Minnesota to keep this tragedy from happening again.


Do you have any facts, or is that just, like, your opinion, man?

05 Nov 2012 04:57 AM
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Gaius     
Bravo, subby. Working the End of Times into a headline is a beautiful thing.

05 Nov 2012 02:59 PM
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BolshyGreatYarblocks     
Kids, Vodak is Whack.

06 Nov 2012 10:37 AM
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duskwave     
Hey, my neighborhood liquor store makes Fark. Clearly, I need to buy more of their vodka to prevent another such tragedy.

06 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
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