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   Drunken tweets and mid-air collisions. The avian world discovers the gift of alcohol

05 Nov 2012 02:23 PM   |   6908 clicks   |   Trebuchet Magazine
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Whiskey Dickens     
FTFA:
The bird had had to place its wings on the ground to steady itself, and had leant against the walls of its enclosure to keep upright, they said. After two days the bird fully recovered and was released back into the wild.

Heckuva hangover there, hey Tweetie?

05 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
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probesport     
I thought that alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.

I thought that drinkin' just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.

05 Nov 2012 02:28 PM
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Skyd1v     
Every spring. Every. Damn. Spring.

Mountain ash berries that have been frozen all winter thaw out, releasing the sugars inside. Fermentation starts up, and the dog-awful Magpies show up. And if you don't think they know exactly what they are doing, you are outa your mind. They are there to get their booze on, and in a big way.

For 2 weeks every May my backyard is full of drunk, belligerent Magpies screaming at each other and anyone who approaches. Ain't no meaner drunk then a Magpie drunk.

05 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
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JackieRabbit     
I met a drunk bird once. It was during a nor'ester and I opened my front door to find a juvenile red-wing blackbird sheltering on my front porch. I brought him in so he could warm up and he was behaving very strangely and stumbling about. I took him to a nearby vet, who worked with the state's songbird preservation program and she told me he was drunk on fermented berries. She kept him for a few days and fed him Gatorade and then returned him to the wild.

05 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
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Odd Bird     
Outshined FTW

05 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
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caddisfly     
Great video. Few things are funnier than a drunken monkey. 

i172.photobucket.com

05 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
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theotherwhitemeat     
I do that almost every night. I call it ricocheting to bed.

05 Nov 2012 02:50 PM
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blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Linky no worky

05 Nov 2012 02:55 PM
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croesius     

theotherwhitemeat: I do that almost every night. I call it ricocheting to bed.


Hah, I alwAys called it pinballing

05 Nov 2012 03:07 PM
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basscomm     
Encyclopedia Brown once again is ahead of the curve.

05 Nov 2012 03:14 PM
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Odd Bird     
(watches video)

caddisfly: Great video. Few things are funnier than a drunken monkey. 


www.angrycritter.com

05 Nov 2012 03:15 PM
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ITGreen     
Needed a good booze thread, I'm DT-ing something fierce today.

05 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
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Mayhem of the Black Underclass     
They even included a video of Fingal's Dopple.

/Obscure?

05 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
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Grapple     
I hate when my ex-bird drunk tweets me.. "hey man, I always loved you, you were the best #theBest #ex"

05 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
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JackieRabbit     

ITGreen: Needed a good booze thread, I'm DT-ing something fierce today.


So you're the voices in my head today. Howyadoin?

05 Nov 2012 03:26 PM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
but if they're drunk it means their lacking thiamin
so they better fill up on it
or else they'll get beri beri

www.swissmade.com

05 Nov 2012 04:21 PM
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ZeroCorpse     
How many fruits does an elephant need to eat to get drunk? I mean, they have to have a high tolerance considering their weight and size.

And note to self: Stay out of the way of drunken elephants.

/Both in the wilds, and at Walmart on their mobility scooters.

05 Nov 2012 04:33 PM
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roc6783     

JackieRabbit: I met a drunk bird once. It was during a nor'ester and I opened my front door to find a juvenile red-wing blackbird sheltering on my front porch. I brought him in so he could warm up and he was behaving very strangely and stumbling about. I took him to a nearby vet, who worked with the state's songbird preservation program and she told me he was drunk on fermented berries. She kept him for a few days and fed him Gatorade and then returned him to the wild sit on his throne as the Prince of Bel Air.


FTFY

05 Nov 2012 05:07 PM
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brap    [TotalFark]  
i253.photobucket.com

05 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
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dopekitty74     

ZeroCorpse: How many fruits does an elephant need to eat to get drunk? I mean, they have to have a high tolerance considering their weight and size.

And note to self: Stay out of the way of drunken elephants.

/Both in the wilds, and at Walmart on their mobility scooters.


Thanks for that. I've been having a crappy couple of days. This gave me a good laugh

05 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
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wildcardjack     
I used to feed the crows fermenting cherries I got from a friend that worked in a produce department.

Kept the outdoor cats fed.

05 Nov 2012 05:56 PM
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stu1-1     
I once witnessed a drunk robin fly straight into an apple tree....trunk.

/dead
//the last thing that went though his mind was his ass.

05 Nov 2012 06:00 PM
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GoSlash27     
cdn.eurweb.com
^ Doesn't see a problem with this.

05 Nov 2012 06:34 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

Skyd1v: Every spring. Every. Damn. Spring.

Mountain ash berries that have been frozen all winter thaw out, releasing the sugars inside. Fermentation starts up, and the dog-awful Magpies show up. And if you don't think they know exactly what they are doing, you are outa your mind. They are there to get their booze on, and in a big way.

For 2 weeks every May my backyard is full of drunk, belligerent Magpies screaming at each other and anyone who approaches. Ain't no meaner drunk then a Magpie drunk.


This is what I imagine they are saying.

Magpie 1: Duude, did you see that hen look at my beak? She wants me.

Magpie 2: No way; she was too busy looking at my feathers; besides, I think she might be into ravens.

Magpie 1: Ravens? Why do you say that?

Magpie 2: Did you see the the way she was shaking her rump and tail? She's got the Edgar Allen Poe fever, if you know what I mean.

Magpie 1: Oh shiat; a human! Let's make fun of him!

Magpie 2: Good idea; Hey, human, your face looks like a grackle.

/ then it's off to the bush for more berries

05 Nov 2012 06:44 PM
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flemardo     
So nobody noticed the first vid there was from "The Gods Must Be Crazy"?

05 Nov 2012 07:07 PM
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crabsno termites     
Never drink with a horse.

05 Nov 2012 07:47 PM
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Indubitably     
Hey, drugs work, and we/you know it, so wtf?

End obfuscation and profit.

Legalize and democratize now.

Decorporatize.

Humanize.

Make this world work for people, not businesses' profit.

Please vote for President Obama for four more years to try and make government of, by, and for the people again...

Thank you.

05 Nov 2012 07:58 PM
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Indubitably     

Indubitably: Hey, drugs work, and we/you know it, so wtf?

End obfuscation and profit.

Legalize and democratize now.

Decorporatize.

Humanize.

Make this world work for people, not businesses' profit.

Please vote for President Obama for four more years to try and make government of, by, and for the people again...

Thank you.


P.S. Profit follows my words...

05 Nov 2012 07:59 PM
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catsfish     

Mayhem of the Black Underclass: They even included a video of Fingal's Dopple.

/Obscure?


Nuts. I came to say that I hadn't been monkey drunk that bad since I was caught scrolling up cinemas.

05 Nov 2012 10:18 PM
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Indubitably     

catsfish: Mayhem of the Black Underclass: They even included a video of Fingal's Dopple.

/Obscure?

Nuts. I came to say that I hadn't been monkey drunk that bad since I was caught scrolling up cinemas.


Squirrel-nuts, no?

Drunken monkey-squirrel nuts, no?

No squared.

05 Nov 2012 10:25 PM
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Amos Quito     
If God had intended birds to fly, he wouldn't have given them alcohol.

05 Nov 2012 10:32 PM
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Indubitably     

Amos Quito: If God had intended birds to fly, he wouldn't have given them alcohol.


Wrong.

Birds knew of fermented fruits before flight was necessary.

*)

05 Nov 2012 10:37 PM
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TrebuchetEd     
Skyd1v
Every spring. Every. Damn. Spring.

You speak the truth. I've seen magpies rip roofing metal off a garden shed. Wasn't even shiny, and no way did they want it for nesting material - it was way too big. Total mobsters. Bluejays can be a bit gangsta too.

06 Nov 2012 05:01 AM
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