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   Man sends postcard to explain that he stole neighbor's candidate signs for her own safety. "When thieves...see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits"

06 Nov 2012 06:45 AM   |   7607 clicks   |   WWSB ABC 7
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feckingmorons    [TotalFark]  
Well you can't really argue with that.

05 Nov 2012 10:51 PM
Joe USer     
"When thieves...see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits"

When they see Republican signs, they no longer need to assume.

05 Nov 2012 11:11 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope    [TotalFark]  

Joe USer: "When thieves...see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits"

When they see Republican signs, they no longer need to assume.


Nice.

05 Nov 2012 11:14 PM
Grand_Moff_Joseph    [TotalFark]  
And when police see such obvious evidence, their jobs become a lot easier.

05 Nov 2012 11:17 PM
ToxicMunkee     
Stop calling me a retard! It's my birthday. I'm potato years old.

05 Nov 2012 11:18 PM
unyon    [TotalFark]  

feckingmorons: Well you can't really argue with that.


Ok, so that was really funny, so I'll give you a pass.

05 Nov 2012 11:22 PM
doglover    [TotalFark]  
Democrats have the education.

Rebublicans have the trust funds.

Doglovers have a crown, for when ya'll see some sense and elect me.

05 Nov 2012 11:43 PM
Weaver95    [TotalFark]  

feckingmorons: Well you can't really argue with that.


True, Republicans can really drag down property values what with all that knuckle dragging and fundamentalism. that said, its still not cool to mock the GOP for being silly and stupid.

05 Nov 2012 11:49 PM
Joe USer     

Benevolent Misanthrope: Nice.


I was going for sarcastic and troll-y.

Seriously, if I see one more ad or get one more call, I'm going to write in Kodos, just so I can use the line on people.

05 Nov 2012 11:57 PM
Mentat    [TotalFark]  
Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...

06 Nov 2012 12:04 AM
Brontes    [TotalFark]  

feckingmorons: Well you can't really argue with that.


Says the guy with an online degree

06 Nov 2012 12:06 AM
Somacandra    [TotalFark]  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Great political troll, or Greatest political troll?

06 Nov 2012 12:16 AM
smells_like_meat     
Accurate assumption. However, since the political party of most burglars is Dem., its a wash. They eat their own young.

My "hood" is full of R and R yard signs. Not one Hussein for satrap sign to be seen. Tells me that I have a neighborhood of stable, intelligent, working, gun owners. Warm and fuzzy is how I feel.

Vote early, vote often. Its the Chicago way.

06 Nov 2012 12:29 AM
themindiswatching    [TotalFark]  
You see, those big words that don't fit on campaign bumper stickers can hurt your pretty little head. I'm only making life easier for you.

06 Nov 2012 12:32 AM
dickfreckle     

Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...


People should know that a sh*t-ton of liberals are armed. It's my second Amendment too, you half-wits. We just don't celebrate guns as the second coming of Christ, or as compensation for our dicks. Nor do we use our respect of guns and the right to bear them as a front for belonging to a strictly partisan group purporting to represent us when the guy they pick has actually signed a form of a weapons ban.

Not a gun nut, and don't really do the gun porn thing, but you'd better believe I know how to use one. Force into my house and I'll kill you.

/badassoverhere.jpg
//ITGmagazine.jpg

06 Nov 2012 12:36 AM
Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  

Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...


I bet you totally own in any conversation you make up entirely.

06 Nov 2012 12:46 AM
dickfreckle     
Also, people who break into homes for a living aren't really going to understand the subtleties of the homeowners choice in a candidate, presuming they even know who the candidates are. A master art thief probably would, but we're talking about random punks here. Meth-heads seldom stop to ponder what a homeowner's political leanings say about the homeowner's character. People in the politics tab might, but I'm fairly certain none of us are robbing houses when we're not trolling.

This is the dumbest excuse for a dick move I've heard in some time.

06 Nov 2012 12:48 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  

Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...


You think only Republicans own guns?

I

06 Nov 2012 12:50 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  

dickfreckle: Also, people who break into homes for a living aren't really going to understand the subtleties of the homeowners choice in a candidate, presuming they even know who the candidates are. A master art thief probably would, but we're talking about random punks here. Meth-heads seldom stop to ponder what a homeowner's political leanings say about the homeowner's character. People in the politics tab might, but I'm fairly certain none of us are robbing houses when we're not trolling.

This is the dumbest excuse for a dick move I've heard in some time.


I thought criminals looked for the Republican yard signs as evidence of who had the nicer stuff to steal.

06 Nov 2012 12:51 AM
Fark Me To Tears    [TotalFark]  
FTFA: When thieves drive through Sapphire Shores scoping out possible targets and see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits.

The fact that the subdivision is in Florida isn't already evidence of that?

06 Nov 2012 12:52 AM
TwistedIvory    [TotalFark]  

dickfreckle: Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...

People should know that a sh*t-ton of liberals are armed. It's my second Amendment too, you half-wits. We just don't celebrate guns as the second coming of Christ, or as compensation for our dicks. Nor do we use our respect of guns and the right to bear them as a front for belonging to a strictly partisan group purporting to represent us when the guy they pick has actually signed a form of a weapons ban.

Not a gun nut, and don't really do the gun porn thing, but you'd better believe I know how to use one. Force into my house and I'll kill you.

/badassoverhere.jpg
//ITGmagazine.jpg


+1.

I'm a registered independent but make no secret that I very much lean left/libertarian (lowercase 'l').

I also have loaded guns in every room of the house.

Break in and take my stuff while I'm gone? Not really a problem, as I have decent insurance.
Break in and pose a threat to my family or me? At any given moment I'm rarely more than ten feet from a means of stopping you via high velocity projectile.

Plus, hey, earlier this year I took advantage of OBUMMER'S FASCIST SOCIALIST GUN GRAB (that part was sarcasm) by carrying my .44 with me when I backpacked through remote areas and parks of Alaska (that part was not).
Thanks, Obama, for finally making this legal.

06 Nov 2012 12:54 AM
BarkingUnicorn     
Guy must have very small handwriting to fit all of that on a post card.

06 Nov 2012 01:02 AM
dickfreckle     

Generation_D: I thought criminals looked for the Republican yard signs as evidence of who had the nicer stuff to steal.

I know you're kidding, but:

This country is roughly 50/50 Republican or Democrat. You have to figure that for every ghetto chick that votes for the misnomer "Obamaphone" there's a some working-class white guy voting for the flag and Jesus. That leaves the rest of us.

I have all the same sh*t all my Republican neighbors have. A smart thief won't target yard signs - he'll target an exclusive neighborhood. Which I don't live in (just a regular neighborhood). But I do have the same plasma and laptops my Limbaugh acolyte neighbor has.

This just in: Being liberal isn't just for "welfare queens" anymore. Actually, it never was. The idea that liberals think the way they do because they want handouts is arguably the most patently offensive canard the GOP pushes.


06 Nov 2012 01:12 AM
dickfreckle     
Do you know how I know you suck at HTML?

06 Nov 2012 01:13 AM
cameroncrazy1984    [TotalFark]  

smells_like_meat: Accurate assumption. However, since the political party of most burglars is Dem., its a wash. They eat their own young.

My "hood" is full of R and R yard signs. Not one Hussein for satrap sign to be seen. Tells me that I have a neighborhood of stable, intelligent, working, gun owners. Warm and fuzzy is how I feel.

Vote early, vote often. Its the Chicago way.


This post had everything.

06 Nov 2012 01:39 AM
BSABSVR     

cameroncrazy1984: smells_like_meat: Accurate assumption. However, since the political party of most burglars is Dem., its a wash. They eat their own young.

My "hood" is full of R and R yard signs. Not one Hussein for satrap sign to be seen. Tells me that I have a neighborhood of stable, intelligent, working, gun owners. Warm and fuzzy is how I feel.

Vote early, vote often. Its the Chicago way.

This post had everything.


Except the Ritalin it so desperately needed.

06 Nov 2012 01:47 AM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
The guy who mailed his victims a confession of his crimes is accusing others of being stupid?

06 Nov 2012 05:46 AM
dickfreckle     

TwistedIvory: I also have loaded guns in every room of the house.


Damn. I just have the one. Although two isn't a bad idea. One for the living room, another for the bedroom. Both loaded because I don't have kids.

Do you keep one in your laundry room, too? :)

As a lifelong libtard, my greatest argument against guns was that I would get drunk and accidentally shoot myself, not that I wanted to ban others from owning them. Non-political argument. I just have a simple rule: When the scotch comes out, or when football is on, I don't touch the damn thing (the Saints this year make me want to shoot the TV, and then myself).

I'm also only a recent gun owner. Did grow up in a redneck family so all my childhood experience came back quickly, like instantly remembering how to ride a bicycle.

06 Nov 2012 06:21 AM
way south     
Well that is a perfectly logical assumption.
/Hero tag stolen by opposition party?

06 Nov 2012 06:49 AM
ComicBookGuy     
The retarded thief's taunt will motivate far more Democrats to vote than the yard signs ever would.

06 Nov 2012 06:50 AM
ArcadianRefugee     

smells_like_meat: Tells me that I have a neighborhood of stable, intelligent, working, gun owners.


Not so intelligent as to know how to use commas though.

06 Nov 2012 06:51 AM
erveek     

Joe USer: "When thieves...see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits"

When they see Republican signs, they no longer need to assume.


When they see Republican signs, they avoid the neighborhood out of professional courtesy.

06 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
GameSprocket     

Generation_D: I thought criminals looked for the Republican yard signs as evidence of who had the nicer stuff to steal.


I am not sure that Bibles and velvet Elvises are in enough demand to bother stealing these days. I guess you could steal all those weapons that Republicans seem to constantly have on display.

06 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
SkunkWerks     
To be fair, he was at least half-right. It is Florida, after all.

06 Nov 2012 06:53 AM
dietermodd     

Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: When thieves drive through Sapphire Shores scoping out possible targets and see pro-Democrat yard signs they automatically assume that the subdivision is filled with retards and half-wits.

The fact that the subdivision is in Florida isn't already evidence of that?


WIN--Thread over.

06 Nov 2012 06:55 AM
Satanic_Hamster     
Republicans; pussies.

06 Nov 2012 07:01 AM
zenobia     

dickfreckle: Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...

People should know that a sh*t-ton of liberals are armed. It's my second Amendment too, you half-wits. We just don't celebrate guns as the second coming of Christ, or as compensation for our dicks. Nor do we use our respect of guns and the right to bear them as a front for belonging to a strictly partisan group purporting to represent us when the guy they pick has actually signed a form of a weapons ban.

Not a gun nut, and don't really do the gun porn thing, but you'd better believe I know how to use one. Force into my house and I'll kill you.

/badassoverhere.jpg
//ITGmagazine.jpg


I think the 2000 election was the tipping point for many of us. It doesn't always have to be my heart that bleeds.

06 Nov 2012 07:03 AM
Private_Citizen    [TotalFark]  
I say prosecute him. He can explain to all those kind and gentle people behind bars about how zero tolerance, tough on crime policies actually helps society. Besides, since he's a Republitard, and obviously anti homosexual, it won't be gay when they pound him in the rear.

06 Nov 2012 07:03 AM
Gordon Bennett     

BarkingUnicorn: Guy must have very small handwriting to fit all of that on a post card.


Here's the card:

bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.comView Full Size


It comes from zazzle.com. Ordered through an online form then printed and posted by them. Any law enforcement agency interested in tracing the sender of this postcard, seeing as it admits to a crime, should be able to get the sender's email address and payment information from their records quite easily.

06 Nov 2012 07:04 AM
Mister Peejay     

Mentat: Republican: When thieves see a Democratic yard sign, they assume the neighborhood is filled with ignorant, anti-gun retards.
Democrat: And yet, despite choosing different paths in life, you and I both ended up living in the same neighborhood, occupying the same basic socioeconomic status. What does that tell a thief?
Republican: That my guns are protecting both of our houses.
Democrat: ...


I'm unsure where this "Democrat = take guns away" BS comes from. Every one I know either owns firearms, or believes in their ownership, or accepts that it's just the American way of life and you can't change that.

Sure there are some people who do want to ban guns, but you'll find just as many right-wingers who do as left-wingers.

/trust neither of 'em

06 Nov 2012 07:04 AM
abhorrent1     
It is common knowledge that democrats are anti-gun. They know the homeowners are unarmed and therefore, unable to protect themselves from attack.

Well then. Wouldn't they be surprised if they came into my home.

/advantage, me
//democrat
///gun owner

06 Nov 2012 07:05 AM
WinoRhino     

Generation_D: You think only Republicans own guns?


To your point: I typically vote Dem and I just got myself a new Sig Sauer. I got it mostly because I tried shooting at a range one time and really had fun with it so I got a permit and bought a gun.
My two neighbors, both republicans, have conceal-carry permits. They took their guns when they went trick-or-treating with the kids "just to be safe." Our neighborhood is as peaceful and suburban as it gets. There's a mentality difference here that goes against the headline, I think.

06 Nov 2012 07:06 AM
Lee Jackson Beauregard    [TotalFark]  
FTFA: Joe Gruters, the Chairman of the Sarasota County Republican party says there is a lot of craziness coming from both sides right now

img62.imageshack.usView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 07:07 AM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
"When people see Democrat yard signs, they assume we are OK with black people living here."

06 Nov 2012 07:07 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
CTRL-F "gun" - 29 results.

Out of 35 comments.

Somehow I just knew this would turn into a gun thread. Can we just skip the debate and move on to the gun porn?

06 Nov 2012 07:09 AM
Mister Peejay     

Generation_D:
I thought criminals looked for the Republican yard signs as evidence of who had the nicer stuff to steal.


Nah. Republicans either are rich enough for private security, or too poor to buy anything more than the biggest SOMY flatscreen that will fit in their double-wide.

/i be trollin', they hatin'

06 Nov 2012 07:10 AM
Onkel Buck     
I'd rob a house with a democrat sign out front, chances are the entitlement junkies that live there have nicer stuff than me that my tax dollars bought for them.

06 Nov 2012 07:11 AM
SnyderCat     
/i be trollin', they hatin'

Canadian supermodels troll for Romney...

because the rest are too farking stupid.

And on that note...

06 Nov 2012 07:11 AM
Noam Chimpsky     
Well, if it's a white neighborhood with Obama signs they probably don't have guns so I'd recommend doing a home invasion there. And they probably won't press charges if you have a high melanin content so you might as well go for it.

06 Nov 2012 07:12 AM
kid_icarus     
Wouldn't this call for the 'Ironic' tag?

/at least in the Alannis Morrisette sense

06 Nov 2012 07:12 AM
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