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   A clear, concise, totally helpful look at the candidate's positions, for those few coma victims who just woke up and decided to vote tomorrow

06 Nov 2012 10:24 AM   |   10776 clicks   |   The Onion
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ThatGuyGreg     
Bad news for people that wake up and try to vote tomorrow...

06 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
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tricycleracer     

ThatGuyGreg: Bad news for people that wake up and try to vote tomorrow...


Stoned Homer agrees.

06 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
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The Jami Turman Fan Club     
That article was depressing. Too close to reality.

06 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
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Summoner101     
This article is suspect because it was published on 31 Oct. Romney has changed positions at least three time by now and that's only with FEMA.

06 Nov 2012 10:30 AM
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Ivo Shandor    [TotalFark]  
Too many words. I'll let the dog decide.

06 Nov 2012 10:31 AM
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tforbes     
was very meh

06 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
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doczoidberg     
I get all of my election information from The Onion.

06 Nov 2012 10:34 AM
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Angry Buddha     
It makes no difference to me. I voted for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

06 Nov 2012 10:34 AM
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TWX     
Heh.

The Israel topic is interesting. Europe had established its own states at the East end of the Mediterranean for about 200 years before they were defeated. Modern Israel has about 140 years to go before they even meet that precedent, let alone confirm some kind of permanence.

/this is not an opinion on existence of Israel

06 Nov 2012 10:35 AM
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Day_Old_Dutchie     

Angry Buddha: It makes no difference to me. I voted for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.


But what about Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop- F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, ? or Nigel Incubator-Jones?

06 Nov 2012 10:41 AM
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asmodeus224     
Romney should run for President of Israel...i like that Obama treats them like an ally, and not part of our nation.

06 Nov 2012 10:43 AM
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roughridersfan     

Angry Buddha: It makes no difference to me. I voted for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.


If I could vote in the US, I'd vote for Kodos.

06 Nov 2012 10:46 AM
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TaterTot_HotDish     
clearly The Onion has a reality bias

06 Nov 2012 10:59 AM
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SoupJohnB     

ThatGuyGreg: Bad news for people that wake up and try to vote tomorrow...


Well now, in Florida we can't vote until tommorrow. A nice young man called me on the phone and explained that voting here had been post-poned due to that hurricane, or something.

06 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
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hawcian     

ThatGuyGreg: Bad news for people that wake up and try to vote tomorrow...


Well, it made sense when I submitted it. Yesterday.

06 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
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starsrift     
I lost it here: "aiming to lull the environment into a false sense of trust and complacency, at which point he can frack the shiat out of it."

06 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
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stuffy     
So close to the truth it's scary.

06 Nov 2012 12:51 PM
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Pochas     
Apparently a lot of the 20-something year old girls on my facebook have been in a coma...

06 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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Lettuce     
To be fair, Romney's positions change every day, so this isn't entirely unnecessary.

06 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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Molavian    [TotalFark]  
D - Democrat - Dead voters

R - Republican - Retarded voters

C - ??? - Comatose voters

06 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
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superfudge73     
www.thewordslinger.com
This is relevant to my interest.

06 Nov 2012 04:48 PM
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The wonderful travels of a turd     

Pochas: Apparently a lot of the 20-something year old girls on my facebook have been in a coma...


And you didn't take advantage of that coma?

06 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
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GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve     
Came for Dead Zone reference, leaving statisfied.

07 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
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