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   If you go whale-sighting and you're lucky enough to spot one, suddenly the behemoth doesn't look so noble and majestic as it's breaching on top of your boat

06 Nov 2012 11:37 AM   |   13606 clicks   |   Courier Mail
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
resources1.news.com.auView Full Size


I'm on a boat motherfarker, take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea

06 Nov 2012 08:20 AM
alwaysjaded    [TotalFark]  
i881.photobucket.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 11:34 AM
DaCaptain19     
Does "soft tissue" mean "flaccid penis"?

06 Nov 2012 11:39 AM
cgraves67     
File an incident report if you want, we all know you sustained those injuries farking a fat chick.

06 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
eepapapee     
OH SHI-

06 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
No Time To Explain     
The one that got away...

06 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
iheartscotch     
A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...

06 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
midigod     
It was probably still upset about Stephen Biko.

06 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
BitwiseShift     
Improbable. Don't forget the towel.

fc06.deviantart.netView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
Valiente     
There are as many narwhals in South Africa as there are penguins in your fundament, buddy.

/poor Pingu.

06 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
Cold_Sassy     

iheartscotch: A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...


Whalebone?

06 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
Spanky McStupid     
1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.comView Full Size


Obligatory.

06 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
netcentric     
Rich people problems

06 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
cdn.uproxx.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
maram500     
I sincerely thought "breaching" meant the whale was giving birth as it leaped over the boat. I am quite the dissatisfied customer.

/Still, at least it had time to think about the potted plant while it fell back down...

06 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
hundreddollarman    [TotalFark]  

Spanky McStupid: [1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com image 600x400]

Obligatory.


Awesome.

06 Nov 2012 12:19 PM
hagar129     
There was no example of what Port Elizabeth and a whale would look like. Seems like a missed reporting moment.

06 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
shifter_     
Serves the farkers right for getting too close.

In other news, Rita McNeil is doing a concert in South Africa?

06 Nov 2012 12:26 PM
Gordon432     
Whale: Watch THIS!

06 Nov 2012 12:36 PM
abhorrent1     
Soft tissue injuries? So he got a boo-boo on his knee?

06 Nov 2012 01:10 PM
Parthenogenetic     
*raises hand*

Is anybody else pedantically annoyed that the headline uses "behemoth" (a land-dwelling monster) to refer to a whale, when "leviathan" would have been the more appropriate Biblical reference?

No?

Alrighty then, I'll just show myself out...

*hangs head, shuffles out of thread*

06 Nov 2012 01:12 PM
abhorrent1     

Parthenogenetic: *raises hand*

Is anybody else pedantically annoyed that the headline uses "behemoth" (a land-dwelling monster) to refer to a whale, when "leviathan" "Fat Chick" or "Farkett" would have been the more appropriate Biblical reference?

 

there ya go

06 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
AngryJailhouseFistfark     

maram500: I sincerely thought "breaching" meant the whale was giving birth as it leaped over the boat.


Actually that's a common misunderstanding of the word. There are many such Nautical "Neo-logisms" out in our vocabulary and figures of speech. For example, that friendly Bosun's Whistle your wife uses to call you to supper at family gatherings is the phonetic spelling of "Boat Swain", of course, soak it in rum for 12 years and it becomes "Bo'sun", much the way "Gaol" becomes "Jail " to prevent the drunken cockneys from calling it, "JAY-Oww". And likewise "Foc'sl", a crushed up pronunciation of "Forecastle", which is Late Medieval Frankish for the British term, "House Martin", referring to the young man kept specifically for the Captain's exclusive carnal pleasure. Oddly enough, We discarded the Cornish "martin" meaning "catamite" and the French version becomes the origin of our contemporary vulgarity, "fark."

Which brings us to Breaching. While it applies to the breaking of a wall for ancient siege masters, the Nautical construction is "Be reaching", referring of course to "reaching around", or the act of extending one's arm around and in front of one's shipmate while enjoined in sexual congress of the anal variety. It was considered good seamanship to always give a reach around during a buggery, and failure to provide this courtesy could get a sailor labled, "Connie Nae Breachin'", or "he's a sailor who will not give a reach-around". To be a breacher was comparable to what The Jew regarded as a Mensch, although Epididymus, in his 300 BC treatise on the Near East did not include any descriptions of man-on-man anal sex, nautical or otherwise.

Now you know. These men were attempting to take this whale anally and the beast was merely extending that time-honored courtesy, the reach around.

06 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
joonyer     

Cold_Sassy: iheartscotch: A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...

Whalebone?


Represent!

06 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
catmandu    [TotalFark]  

midigod: It was probably still upset about Stephen Biko.


Port Elizabeth was feeling fine.

06 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
legion_of_doo     
to the last I grapple with thee!

06 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
SoupJohnB     
They must have spiked a gold coin into the mizzen mast.

/leave the farkin' whales alone

06 Nov 2012 03:41 PM
WordsnCollision     
Not only the sea was angry that day, my friends.

www.lobshots.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 03:45 PM
ronaprhys     
The editor for this article sucks. FTA: The men claim they were motoring slowly approximately a kilometre offshore when a whale breached in front of their boat and came onto their boat, causing the boat and all three men to go under water as the whale sunk back into the water," said Ian Gray, National Sea Rescue Institute (NSRI) Port Elizabeth station commander.

Not only are they using a measurement that no one cares about, but they've spelled it wrong. Seriously - you'd think that they'd have a spellchecker or something like that.

06 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
nomnomhaggis     
I thought it said 'mating on top of your boat'.

Don't know what that says about me.

06 Nov 2012 06:36 PM
SR117Nighthawk     
HEY, Y'all. Hold muh Krill & watch this! SMASH!!

/Redneck wales

06 Nov 2012 10:25 PM
ParaHandy     
I've had a small one once use the barnacles on the bottom of the boat as a back scratcher. The experience of being that close to a gentle wild animal is numinous, albeit unnerving when it weighs more than your mode of transportation :)

07 Nov 2012 11:53 AM
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