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   Remember as you vote today: You are not throwing away your vote if you go third-party. Unless, of course, you vote for a 28-year-old Stalinist who thinks the Tiananmen Square Massacre was just a big misunderstanding

06 Nov 2012 09:10 AM   |   6028 clicks   |   The Daily Beast
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epoc_tnac     
Isn't voting for anyone that loses technically a total waste of your time?

06 Nov 2012 09:11 AM
sprawl15    [TotalFark]  
Rather than vote third party, just go home, sit in your bathtub, and piss into your own face.

06 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
CognaciousThunk     
Johnson, not really a Libertarian. Goode, bit too fundy. Green Party: ah, no.

Roseanne.... I can hear her laugh now...

/'choice' is an illusion anyway.

06 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat     
I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.

So please, when you vote today, pick the Democrat or the Republican candidate that you most agree with, because third-parties are just f*cking things up.

Sincerely,
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat

06 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
LoneDoggie     
now you tell me....

06 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
dumbobruni     
so the Daily Beast includes the prohibition party and not the Greens?

fark you, daily beast.

06 Nov 2012 09:15 AM
quatchi     
Jack Failure and the Prohibitionists?

Didn't they have a one-off novelty record back in the fifties? 

A socialist named Peta? OK, now I know they are just making these names up.

This is what happens when the Daily Beast Editors fail to keep the office booze cabinet locked up properly near an election.

06 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
Carousel Beast     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.

So please, when you vote today, pick the Democrat or the Republican candidate that you most agree with, because third-parties are just f*cking things up.

Sincerely,
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat


10/10 Good job sir. That's some quality derp right there.

06 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
Carth     
published May 17, 2012. Hey Subby, why are you so scared about people learning about Jill Stein

06 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
Amos Quito     
May 17, 2012?

Wow, seems like yesterday.

But it wasn't.

06 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
bsharitt     
As opposed to picking between Romney and Obama with a coin toss because they both suck?

06 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
dumbobruni     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.


the republican party isn't one of extremists? this is news to me.

06 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
HeartBurnKid     
I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.

06 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
quatchi     

dumbobruni: so the Daily Beast includes the prohibition party and not the Greens?

fark you, daily beast.


Pssst. Check number 3 again.

06 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
PC LOAD LETTER    [TotalFark]  
Old article is old.

06 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
epoc_tnac     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.

So please, when you vote today, pick the Democrat or the Republican candidate that you most agree with, because third-parties are just f*cking things up.

Sincerely,
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat


Yeah, when will you idiots realise, you don't get to vote for who you like, you have to vote against who you hate the most!

You get to influence the country with your 1/200000000th of a say, and people will discourage you from even using that in a way you want? Depressing.

06 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
Litig8r     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No?


Isn't your position predicated on the fallacy that the two majority candidates are something other than equally bad?

06 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
Carth     

HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.


Vote Jill Stein. If you were going to vote for Obama you probably align more with her views than Johnson.

06 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
dwrash     
Libertarian all the way.

06 Nov 2012 09:19 AM
dumbobruni     

quatchi: dumbobruni: so the Daily Beast includes the prohibition party and not the Greens?

fark you, daily beast.

Pssst. Check number 3 again.


Roseanne Barr is still running despite not getting the Green party nomination.

Jill Stein? Nope, not there.

06 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
ChaoticLimbs     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.

So please, when you vote today, pick the Democrat or the Republican candidate that you most agree with, because third-parties are just f*cking things up.

Sincerely,
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat


Yes, but you see, some of us don't like either of them because they don't work for us at all. They work for enormous corporate interests, and they allow, demand, encourage the NSA to record all of our calls to protect us from the terrorists who are basically just a bunch of guys with AK-74s and delusions of adequacy.
Better an inept enemy than a capable "friend" with aspirations of Total Information Awareness. Most of the evil ever done to people has been done to them by their benefactors.

06 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
LordPomposity     
This guy was on the ballot in my state when I went to vote this morning:

http://www.jeffbossforpresident.org/

Listed party affiliation was "NSA did 911"

06 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
HeartBurnKid     

Carth: HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.

Vote Jill Stein. If you were going to vote for Obama you probably align more with her views than Johnson.


I like Stein, but I basically want to pick whatever third party is closest to 5% and try to give them that bump. Right now, that looks like Johnson.

06 Nov 2012 09:21 AM
planes     
www.global-air.comView Full Size


The United Facist Union candidate was Jackson Kirk Grimes. (new window)

06 Nov 2012 09:21 AM
HeartBurnKid     

HeartBurnKid: Carth: HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.

Vote Jill Stein. If you were going to vote for Obama you probably align more with her views than Johnson.

I like Stein, but I basically want to pick whatever third party is closest to 5% and try to give them that bump. Right now, that looks like Johnson.


Plus, an ascendant Libertarian party would act as a spoiler for, and ultimately displace, the Republican party. And that, I like.

06 Nov 2012 09:21 AM
Carth     

HeartBurnKid: Carth: HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.

Vote Jill Stein. If you were going to vote for Obama you probably align more with her views than Johnson.

I like Stein, but I basically want to pick whatever third party is closest to 5% and try to give them that bump. Right now, that looks like Johnson.


oh that makes sense then. Yea, Johnson is far more likely than Stein to get to 5%. I wish more people in California, Texas, NY did that so third parties would at least get matching funding.

06 Nov 2012 09:22 AM
ha-ha-guy     
Third Party Voting, my two cents:

1. Is the D or R running evil incarnate and so bad they are worth invoking "lesser of two evils" as a voting mantra. If so, vote for the lesser of two evils. It's better to vote as a united front against the theocrat than scattergun, like it or not we're in a winner takes all system here. This mostly applies to folks running for an executive office, local prosecutor, etc as those guys can make life hell. The odd evil bastard in the legislature has more checks on him.

2. Do any of the third party candidates running actually impress you that much? Or are they kind of meh and more of just a way to give the mainstream guys the middle finger. Protest voting is still in a sense voting for a lesser evil, you're just voting for the third party lesser evil. If this is the case, consider a write in to remind the third parties they can't just sponge up votes by throwing some third option on the ballot.

3. Most importantly, go vote today. Also remember as long as you are in line before the polls close, you get to vote. Even if you get in line a minute before they close, by law the station must remain open so you can vote. If they try to make you leave, call the cops.

/voted an odd mixture of Libertarian, Democrat, and one sane Republican this morning
//why the fark is drain commissioner a partisan job?

06 Nov 2012 09:22 AM
CPennypacker     
I'll just ride my unicorn to fantasy land and cast my vote for a third party candidate. My conscience is clear! Its not my fault Bush won!

06 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
Gunny Highway     
The Green Party moved from Jello Biafra to Rosanne Barr? Weird.

06 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  
You're throwing your vote away no matter who you vote for.

06 Nov 2012 09:24 AM
Tat'dGreaser     
czarangelous?

06 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
Snarfangel     
The protesters were shouting "We want a shot at peace!" and the poor soldiers thought they were saying "We want shot at, please!"

Boy, was their face red. Not to mention their hands, arms, legs, and much of the sidewalk.

06 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
HeartBurnKid     

Gunny Highway: The Green Party moved from Jello Biafra to Rosanne Barr? Weird.


No, Roseanne Barr ran for their nomination, but lost to Jill Stein (who, from what I can tell, is a sweet lady with a lot of good ideas). Instead, she's now running on the Peace & Freedom ticket. With Cindy Sheehan as her running mate.

06 Nov 2012 09:26 AM
Insaniteus     
It's cute that 3rd party fans think that voting for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein will magically make people listen to their viewpoints, and suddenly end the NSA, drone strikes, etc out of shock that 1-2% of the country is so vigorously opposed to them.

When you knowingly vote for a joke candidate (Which includes Jill and Gary, don't kid yourselves here) as a protest to show how "smart" you are compared to everyone else, you only show the rest of us how stupid you really are.

06 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
Gleeman     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.


A 22 year old study is relevant to party makeup in 2012? You convinced me!

I'll vote when my vote counts. *shakes fist at electoral college and red/blue states*

06 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
BullBearMS     

06 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
ha-ha-guy     

HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.


The reality of it is, the national level libs aren't that sane though. I love our local libertarian prosecutor due to his total disinterest in putting resources into weed cases, rather he's real big on getting domestic violence convictions. However it seems the more detached from the local community a libertarian gets, the weirder they get. I've come to the decision I like their social stances (drugs, gay marriage, etc), but their economic policies suck ass and so does their desire to cut certain social safety nets. So I tend to shy away from voting Libertarian for certain branches.

My two cents is vote Obama in hopes of helping give him the popular vote as well. Because giving Mittenns the middle finger is a fairly worthwhile exercise this elections season in my book.

06 Nov 2012 09:28 AM
mongbiohazard     

Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: I guess I get to repost this here.

Dear Third-party voters,

Were you happy when Bush Jr. was re-elected? No? THEN F*CKING VOTE FOR ONE OF THE TWO PARTIES THAT HAS AN ACTUAL CHANCE OF WINNING. You're not "voting your concience", you're not "making a statement", you're making it easier for the shiattier candidates to win. "But, our two-party system has created two camps of extremists!" you cry. Well, you're f*cking wrong. A two-party system means more moderates and less extremists. It's f*cking science, biatches.

So please, when you vote today, pick the Democrat or the Republican candidate that you most agree with, because third-parties are just f*cking things up.

Sincerely,
Harbinger of the Doomed Rat


I live in Maryland, so unless I vote for Democrats I won't affect the election too much.

But I'm glad to toss my usual useless vote for Republicans for Gary Johnson instead this year. But besides that I take issue with your premise. I know you're concerned with the spoiler effect, and I would be if I lived in a swing state, but everyone should absolutely vote their conscience - even if that means a "3rd" party. The two big parties have a stranglehold on our country and are slowly killing it because people like you keep voting for the big 2. We need more competition in congress and the only way to get that is to vote for other parties, and keep doing it, until they win some seats.

06 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
Snarfangel     

Honest Bender: You're throwing your vote away no matter who you vote for.


But I might be the tiebreaker!

/which might even matter once every hundred centuries, assuming the margin of error was less than a single vote. Which it isn't. 

//I still vote because it's my civic duty, and it's kind of fun.

06 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
csi_yellowknife     

Carth: published May 17, 2012. Hey Subby, why are you so scared about people learning about Jill Stein


Yup. Subby is cowering behind his keyboard, afraid that someone will hear the name of Jill Stein, learn more about her, and suddenly all of the corportists and capitalists will be silenced because of an older link on Fark that still gave succinct info about 3rd party candidates.

Either that, or voting for an ineligible candidate whose party talks of Tiananmen Square in such ways seems like a really dumb idea. Seriously, if you're going to throw away your vote just write in a cartoon character like people have been for decades. I suggest Phineas or Ferb if you like creative types, Candice if you want a police state, and Fluttershy if you want people to back away from you slowly.

Here's a list of 3rd Party People. Go nuts.

06 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
Crabs_Can_Polevault     

ha-ha-guy: /voted an odd mixture of Libertarian, Democrat, and one sane Republican this morning
//why the fark is drain commissioner a partisan job?


Well, knowing how some Republicans approach government, my guess is he'd want to cement over all public drains so that government can be flooded and drowned. This favorable adjustment to the public sector would also make way for private drains, at 5x the cost to the taxpayer, which will neatly line the pockets of Drainbold Inc. and siphon away all worthy waste.

Or not; he might be a reasonable man. Pity his party has become one of pure cartoonish evil. And I'm talking about a cartoon from somewhere in 1969-1973.

06 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
HeartBurnKid     

ha-ha-guy: HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.

Of course, every time I talk with one of Johnson's supporters on Fark, I decide against this plan, but we'll just see if I can make it through the day without some psycho Randroid or third-party fundamentalist pissing me off.

The reality of it is, the national level libs aren't that sane though. I love our local libertarian prosecutor due to his total disinterest in putting resources into weed cases, rather he's real big on getting domestic violence convictions. However it seems the more detached from the local community a libertarian gets, the weirder they get. I've come to the decision I like their social stances (drugs, gay marriage, etc), but their economic policies suck ass and so does their desire to cut certain social safety nets. So I tend to shy away from voting Libertarian for certain branches.

My two cents is vote Obama in hopes of helping give him the popular vote as well. Because giving Mittenns the middle finger is a fairly worthwhile exercise this elections season in my book.


Well, see, part of me wants Obama to lose the popular vote (but still win the EC). Let's face it, the Republicans are going to treat his victory as illegitimate no matter what happens, so having them get Gore'd this time out might just get them to vent their spleen at something that's an actual problem with electoral politics (namely, the Electoral College). Who knows, we may even get the South to sign on to the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact.

06 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
gingerjet     

sprawl15: Rather than vote third party, just go home, sit in your bathtub, and piss into your own face.


In some states - third party candidates are actually competitive.

06 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
eKonk     
"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again.

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."


/RIP Mr. Adams

06 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
doubled99     
I'll be wasting my vote today.

But it's all worth it because I'm taking part in a sacred American tradition, exercising my rights as a citizen, trying to make a difference. Showing that...


ah bullshiat. I'm mostly doing it so I don't have get a bunch of shiat and sanctimonious speeches from people who actually think they're making a difference.

06 Nov 2012 09:34 AM
HeartBurnKid     

eKonk: "It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like to straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again.

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."


/RIP Mr. Adams


So THAT'S where David Icke got his ideas from.

06 Nov 2012 09:34 AM
Amishrabbit     
So it's the perpetual choice: The Beast vs The Smiler.

/voted for Kodos

06 Nov 2012 09:34 AM
PlatinumDragon     
I once knew a supposed Stalinist. I could never quite figure out if he was serious or just acting for the on-air audience.

He also did various small animation/voiceover jobs. He apparently has a couple of Inspector Gadget credits and a director credit on a Taz-Mania episode.

He also helped bleed my old job to death.

06 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
Crudbucket     
rlv.zcache.comView Full Size


Vote Whig! We're back, man!

/TJ O'Hara is the right write-in for you.
//And for America

06 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
liam76     

Litig8r: Isn't your position predicated on the fallacy that the two majority candidates are something other than equally bad


Only if you think gay marriage, abortion access, birth control accessrich paying less % in taxes than the middle class, war with Iran, EPA, and healthcare don't matter.

/off the top of my head.

HeartBurnKid: I've been thinking I'm going to vote for Johnson. Let's face it, Obama has California sewn up no matter what I do, and at least I can help a somewhat more sane right-wing party break the magic 5%.


Voting 3rd party in a case liek this makes sense.

06 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
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