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   Hey, I just raped you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?

06 Nov 2012 02:36 PM   |   33845 clicks   |   NBC News
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Cythraul     
Well, that was brilliant.

06 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Happened near Boston a few years ago. Newspaper story, Fark thread

06 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
dletter     
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Just in case you weren't aware there are crazy people in the world.

06 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
freewill    [TotalFark]  
"I had a great time stabbing and raping you and I'd like to do it again sometime."

06 Nov 2012 01:12 PM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
That is a legitimately funny headline, subby...

06 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
stpauler    [TotalFark]  
It's called traditional marriage*, subtard, Get over it.


Deuteronomy Chapter 22.

06 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
Makh    [TotalFark]  
She should totally have his baby, what a gift for the both of them

06 Nov 2012 01:24 PM
Ennuipoet    [TotalFark]  
I see a great parody video starring a lot of college athletes.

06 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
Revek     
He was saying to himself. What does it take for me to get arrested?

06 Nov 2012 02:23 PM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
I lol'd. The only problem is this wasn't Florida.

06 Nov 2012 02:29 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?

06 Nov 2012 02:37 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


No intent. Also, chances are that the sentence for the sexual assault is greater than for the attempted murder.

06 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
kvinesknows     

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


maybe the first victim was really fat?

06 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
Ambitwistor     
Works better than this headline.

06 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
electronsexparty     
Thank you, subby. I was worried that rape jokes weren't funny anymore, but you restored my faith.

/+1, you funny farker.

06 Nov 2012 02:40 PM
SirEattonHogg     
I'm a bit embarrassed but I admit that I kind of find that song catchy.

06 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
LowbrowDeluxe     

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


Honestly, it's sounding like he's fruitloops enough that if they went for murder his lawyers would fight a lot harder, and they'd have prove his intent wasn't to magically cure them with his healing knife. I'm guessing assault will be easy to prove and harder to counter.

06 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
Random Anonymous Blackmail     
So if shes pregnant is it gods will?

06 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
litespeed74     
Waste of time...chicks never call you back.

06 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
DC People Problems.
/besides he said it was consensual rape rape.
//apparently he likes rape.

06 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Skyrmion     

dletter: Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Just in case you weren't aware there are crazy people in the world.


Holy shiat. Wow.

06 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
rickythepenguin     

Random Anonymous Blackmail: So if shes pregnant is it gods will?



If it wasn't real rape, the female body has natural defense mechanisms.

/or whatever that farkstain said

06 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
angry_scientist     

CapeFearCadaver: If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


It was just the tip, just like all he could manage....

06 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  
I read that in her singing voice.

cdn.theatlantic.comView Full Size


And you did too.

06 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
Gunny Walker     
FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)

06 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
xaratherus     
What the newspaper article doesn't report is what happens if you call the number:

"Thank you for calling the White House..."

06 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
RumsfeldsReplacement     
This man should move to a red state and run for Congress.

06 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
MythDragon     
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted

Um....that's not how consensual works.
i48.photobucket.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
xaratherus     

Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)


Louis CK reference wins the Interwebz.

06 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  

xaratherus: What the newspaper article doesn't report is what happens if you call the number:

"Thank you for calling the White House..."


NOW THAT is a spin that I totally didn't think of. You..you're good you.....

06 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
special20    [TotalFark]  

litespeed74: Waste of time...chicks never call you back.


The only time I wished that were true was when she carved my phone number into her headboard.

06 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
Funbags     
Meh, she probably just rapes easy.

06 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

Gyrfalcon: No intent. Also, chances are that the sentence for the sexual assault is greater than for the attempted murder.


LowbrowDeluxe: Honestly, it's sounding like he's fruitloops enough that if they went for murder his lawyers would fight a lot harder, and they'd have prove his intent wasn't to magically cure them with his healing knife. I'm guessing assault will be easy to prove and harder to counter.


Okay... I mean, it makes sense if I stand on my head and cross my eyes while patting my tummy; but jeez-uz.

/I get it, it's just farked up

06 Nov 2012 02:49 PM
JackieRabbit     
Imma gonna lemme finish, but befo I do, Imma write down my fone numba.

06 Nov 2012 02:50 PM
SirEattonHogg     
How is babby formed?

06 Nov 2012 02:50 PM
iheartscotch     
Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!

06 Nov 2012 02:51 PM
GreenSun     
Rape becomes consensual when you threaten the victim and they're forced to say yes.

06 Nov 2012 02:51 PM
dustygrimp     
Was this rape born out of wedlock?

06 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
jst3p     
Outstanding, subby!

06 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
CygnusDarius     
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

That's what I call a "Viking Date".

06 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
HAMMERTOE     

rickythepenguin: If it wasn't real "rape"- rape, the female body has natural defense mechanisms and the rapist should avoid going to jail, like Polanski.


If you're going to turn it political, at least acknowledge you've got some kooks on your side of the aisle as well.

06 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
xaratherus     

iheartscotch: Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!


What happened to her hands, Carl?

Oh. I sort of, uh... cooked them up and ate them.

06 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
LeroyBourne     

Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)


That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.

06 Nov 2012 02:53 PM
iheartscotch     

xaratherus: iheartscotch: Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!

What happened to her hands, Carl?

Oh. I sort of, uh... cooked them up and ate them.


My tummy had the rumbleies; that only hands can satisfy.


/ CARL!!!!!

06 Nov 2012 02:56 PM
On the Side     
If it's not a legitimate crepe, my tummy won't accept it

06 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
chasd00     

LeroyBourne: Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)

That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.


yeah i wouldn't do that either, that's the A-train to extortion-ville

06 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
SkylineRecords     

LeroyBourne: Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)

That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.


"I'm getting a real rapey vibe from this girl."

06 Nov 2012 02:57 PM
DoBeDoBeDo     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: I read that in her singing voice.

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 330x270]

And you did too.



Yes I did, and thought of her "raping" me.

/Can't rape the willing

06 Nov 2012 02:58 PM
factoryconnection    [TotalFark]  

CapeFearCadaver: If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


I'm a little confused at that as well, although they may have just been lacerations on an extremity.

All in all, though the security that this psychopath bypassed makes this story extremely troubling. Multi-layer keycard defeats? I guess you don't have to be too suave to just time your approach right so that someone else (especially drunken) arrives at the reader just ahead of you.

06 Nov 2012 02:58 PM
jst3p     
If she gets pregnant then it wasn't legitimate rape, right?

"If there's a fetus in her slit, you must acquit!"

06 Nov 2012 02:59 PM
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