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   Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat

06 Nov 2012 05:00 PM   |   9254 clicks   |   The Detroit_News
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Equilibrist    [TotalFark]  
Or from Chicago...

Same thing really.

06 Nov 2012 04:48 PM
BarefootInTheFark     
Old joke is old, subby.

06 Nov 2012 05:02 PM
Bondith     
"It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?

06 Nov 2012 05:02 PM
Freakin Rican     
lol you guys and politics

06 Nov 2012 05:03 PM
BitwiseShift     
If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat and alphabetically

FIFY.

//This is the reason Halloween and Election Day are never the same. Cemetaries are very busy on election day.

06 Nov 2012 05:03 PM
exick    [TotalFark]  

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


God works in confirmation-bias-supporting ways.

06 Nov 2012 05:05 PM
Thank You Black Jesus!     
Hyuk hyuk. Do a teleprompter one!

06 Nov 2012 05:05 PM
Valiente     

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


Why do you hate religious freedom?

06 Nov 2012 05:06 PM
NkThrasher    [TotalFark]  
Brace yourselves for local news puns about how serious voting is.

06 Nov 2012 05:07 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
Either subby was the Weeners on the article or it was shamelessly stolen:

Gerard Van der Leun · Top Commenter · Seattle, Washington
If he was a Democrat he voted while dead.

06 Nov 2012 05:07 PM
RantCasey     
Wow, that was probably the sloppiest delivery of a tired ass joke I have seen in a long time. Congrats Subby!

06 Nov 2012 05:07 PM
Leeds     
To those of you saying this is an "old" or "tired joke:

It's not a joke if it's true.

06 Nov 2012 05:08 PM
JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  
Well, if he was revived for free at the polling station then he probably voted Democrat anyway.

06 Nov 2012 05:09 PM
NkThrasher    [TotalFark]  

blatz514: Either subby was the Weeners on the article or it was shamelessly stolen:


Because the Detroit News comments section is the genesis of the 'the dead are voting Democratic' joke?

06 Nov 2012 05:09 PM
Fano     

BarefootInTheFark: Old joke is old, subby.


Joke?

Native West Virginian, I know we all have the right to vote, even those that have passed on

06 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
I'm your huckleberry     
Dick Cheney would never be a Democrat.

06 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
Nana's Vibrator     
It all depends. Was he revived by a registered nurse whose training was paid for from public funds, or was the training paid for by a job creator?

06 Nov 2012 05:11 PM
theteacher     
I have a 93 year old (words with friends) friend who voted absentee two weeks ago fearing that she'd die before the election.

06 Nov 2012 05:14 PM
strapp3r     
would be SO proud

pitchinvasion.netView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 05:15 PM
Heamer     
MORE LIKE DEADOCRAT, AMIRITE

06 Nov 2012 05:16 PM
MBooda     
obvious
lh4.ggpht.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 05:18 PM
Citrate1007     
He may want Obamacare

06 Nov 2012 05:18 PM
offmymeds     
Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat

06 Nov 2012 05:19 PM
Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  
"He was dead," Houston said.

"No he wasn't," Reality said.

06 Nov 2012 05:20 PM
jigger     
"He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

06 Nov 2012 05:20 PM
andrewagill     
"It was definitely a 911 scenario," Tischler said.

What Tischler's ballot may look like:

imageshack.usView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
Ablejack     
Do you know who else arose from death?
/wait, that wasn't hitler, nevermind.

06 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
RedPartyPenguins     
Is true. Happened not too far from me. It's all over the local news.

06 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
Leeds     

jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.


Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.

06 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
cgraves67     

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


I'm impressed. Not only can you vote, you can also post on Fark while dead.

06 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
I May Be Crazy But...     
Of course, if he voted while brain dead, that would mean he's a Republican. 

Or if he voted while dead inside with no compassion or empathy, he's a... well, still a Republican.

06 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
COMALite J     
I thought Kenny McCormick was too young to vote? Or are they counting his chronological age, not his apparent age, since his age-group friends did meet then-President Bill Clinton?

06 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  

Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.


He was at the polling place to blave.

06 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
Phil the SWO    [TotalFark]  

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


I never understood that logic. "That child survived the plane crash! God has performed a miracle!" Um, what?

06 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
Edward_Lapine     
I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.

06 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
Smokey the Bare    [TotalFark]  
I chuckled subby.

/everyone else has to relax a little bit

06 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
poonesfarm    [TotalFark]  
Hackneyed joke, bad delivery...you should send this one into Leno, subby!

06 Nov 2012 05:24 PM
KrispyKritter     
the tiny NJ town i grew up in once voted in a dead guy for Mayor.

06 Nov 2012 05:24 PM
corronchilejano     

Smokey the Bare: I chuckled subby.

/everyone else has to relax a little bit


This.

06 Nov 2012 05:26 PM
KellyKellyKelly     

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


Calm down.

/not subby
//registered Democrat
///dead inside

06 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
evaned     

jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.


Not clinically.

I'll agree that's an uncommon use of the word, but it's not even remotely unprecedented.

06 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
Gabrielmot     
You know what's great about this election?

It's over tomorrow...

Can we have a butt hurt thread for whoever loses?

06 Nov 2012 05:28 PM
MBooda     
Pope Formosus votes thumbs up.
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

06 Nov 2012 05:28 PM
wickedragon     

Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.


and mostly dead is still slightly alive.

06 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
hsburns30     
Subby stated, "If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat" Wouldn't it make more sense that he voted Democrat after not dying since it's Republicans who seem so against healthcare and the welfare of others?

06 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
moralpanic     
And yet all the election frauds seems to be committed by Republicans...

06 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
ras django     

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


me too. how did i register Dem? well, let me tell you.

tl;dr

fraulance.

06 Nov 2012 05:30 PM
Hoopy Frood     

poonesfarm: Hackneyed joke, bad delivery...you should send this one into Leno, subby!


That's for print stuff. Online, if they like it, they'll steal it themselves.

06 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
LDM90     
Next time subby makes this joke, he should change it to "Republicans". Then fark will find it hilarious.

/you know what to do, Francis

06 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  
Article fails to mention whether or not he would get on the cart.

/He feels hap-py! He feels hap-py
//Thud
///Here you are
////Thank you

06 Nov 2012 05:38 PM
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