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   Friending your boss on Facebook: bad idea, stupidest idea, or worst idea ever?

07 Nov 2012 08:55 PM   |   13580 clicks   |   Washington Post
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Indubitably     
How do you deny your boss' friend request?

07 Nov 2012 08:57 PM
Testiclaw     
Baaaaad idea. Don't need a boss to even know about social media/networking sites outside of LinkedIn.

07 Nov 2012 09:00 PM
vegasj     
me?

good idea. I work from home 3,200 miles away from our office.

If I post a picture of me doing a kegstand I simply change the settings to custom and do not include him. Besides... even if he saw it he'd be pissed I didn't invite him out

07 Nov 2012 09:00 PM
moops     
What could go wrong?

www.lamebook.comView Full Size

07 Nov 2012 09:01 PM
RatMaster999     
indianprairiecommunity.orgView Full Size


Though I am friends with a few of my workstudy student employees...

07 Nov 2012 09:02 PM
gingerjet     

Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?


By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

07 Nov 2012 09:03 PM
ultraholland    [TotalFark]  
Yes.

07 Nov 2012 09:03 PM
DarthBart     
Boss, teacher, professor, etc....oh, hell no.

07 Nov 2012 09:03 PM
Indubitably     
I don't use any media but Fark.

07 Nov 2012 09:04 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: I don't use any media but Fark.


Can't you pay me five dollars plus a month?

07 Nov 2012 09:05 PM
PillsHere     
It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

07 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
SkerriNinja     
Because of the place where I work, I have two different Facebook profiles. One is a professional one that I can connect with patients and their families and be a normal, productive member of society. My boss knows about this one and has no problem with it.

My friends/family profile is the one where I can post whatever I feel like posting, and the "privacy" settings are set to friends only. The last thing I want is my professional life mixing with my personal life. Those people don't need to know how liberal I am, what I think about pop culture, or how bad those shiatheads at the bus stop for work piss me off.

07 Nov 2012 09:07 PM
ha-ha-guy     
Just stick him on the sanitized list you should already have and up and running for your older relatives and all that.

07 Nov 2012 09:07 PM
PC LOAD LETTER    [TotalFark]  
Not recently, but my last boss I knew since my first day on the job. He would comment on my status more than anyone. It was alright.

07 Nov 2012 09:07 PM
badLogic    [TotalFark]  
I don't friend anyone who I work with. Ex-coworkers are ok though

07 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
Indubitably     

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


Yes squared.

In an environment of boundary violation daily, how do you establish effective, real, professional boundaries?

Perhaps more poignant: how do you defend them?

Depends.

07 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
styckx    [TotalFark]  
I've denied family members.. So yeah, sure as shiat I'll deny a boss too.. fark em.. I post awful shiat and know it.

07 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
BlankSlate     
The only reason I opened a Facebook acct was for doing a blog at work so my boss was the first one on my page. Now, not so long after I'm looking for another job but I don't want her to know. I'd love to grumble about things at work- I cannot. I can't Wait for the day I have another job so I can "unfriend"!

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it!

07 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
CreativeFarkHandle     
For me, it was fine. My boss had no problem with the shiat I posted on my wall and likely had worse posted on hers. It probably depends on what kind of rapport you have with your boss.

07 Nov 2012 09:09 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


This.

07 Nov 2012 09:10 PM
Rapmaster2000     
I'm friends with my boss, but then we party together so it's probably cool.

07 Nov 2012 09:10 PM
Indubitably     

HotIgneous Intruder: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

This.


How big is your community, friends?

07 Nov 2012 09:11 PM
wildcardjack    [TotalFark]  
Well, are you friends with your boss?

Seriously, are you friends with your boss, or are you just another person passing through his little slice of a cost center before your or he moves on to other things?

07 Nov 2012 09:11 PM
DIGITALgimpus     
No big, we all get along in the office, and I even work for a Fortune 500. Makes work suck a lot less when you all get along.

/lucky I guess.

07 Nov 2012 09:12 PM
sotua     

HotIgneous Intruder: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

This.


Next day in the morning. "O HAI Intruder, did you finish the report I asked? Oh, and why haven't you accepted my friend request?" AWKWARD!

07 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Omahawg     

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


sometimes but she is kind of cute

i'll rape their servers posting boobs on the fark but I won't accept a friend request

07 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Ehcks     

Indubitably: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

Yes squared.

In an environment of boundary violation daily, how do you establish effective, real, professional boundaries?

Perhaps more poignant: how do you defend them?

Depends.


Never tell them your Facebook email. If they look for you by name, ignore them. If they ask why you're ignoring them, ask "Are you stalking me?!" in the most offended tone you can manage.

07 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Gratch     
Was FB friends with my boss before he became my boss, would be a little strange to unfriend him now. Not too worried about it though, I tend to steer clear of posting anything potentially damaging on there

07 Nov 2012 09:13 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" would be two minutes long if it came out today.

Or it would be a Law and Order:SVU episode after Ed Rooney got busted for sending Ferris pics of his dong.

07 Nov 2012 09:14 PM
MrEricSir     
Once your boss accepts your friend request, be sure to post about how much you hate your job and can't wait to get home to do a line of coke.

07 Nov 2012 09:15 PM
Teresaol31     
No boss, no coworkers, no former coworkers or bosses that might be needed as witnesses or references, and absolutely NO friending of any family member who is loved dearly but has a right leaning pudding brain. On the other hand, friending people that were idiots in high school so that I can see them complain about how crappy their lives are now and get all butt hurt over my politics is FUN.

07 Nov 2012 09:16 PM
Indubitably     
Have you seen my recent post about healthy boundaries?

07 Nov 2012 09:16 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Maybe you should have bosses as cool as me. My employees have friended me, and I love seeing what they're up to and thinking. Sometimes I comment, most times I don't.

I feel like it gives us a chance to get to really understand each other, and none of them seem to be sociopaths, at least as far as I can tell from their posting. That's a good thing.

Since I started doing this, I've begun requiring they write at least one post a day about anything they feel like. It could be about what they're eating for lunch or ways they think the company could be improved. We're always on the lookout for ways to do things better around here.

I also encourage the employees to send friend requests to each other, though this isn't a rule yet. We're all in this together, so adding another means of communication is useful. Some people are shy and can't express themselves in person, so the chance to share online via Facebook is pretty great for them.

07 Nov 2012 09:16 PM
mikebdoss     
Take the time to learn about Facebook's filters and lists. You can post your degraded sex details/pictures to the people you want to show it, and the general "Happy whatever holiday, friends" nonsense to everyone else. As far as your boss/parents/people you don't want to share with know, you're just not a big Facebook user.

Oh, and get your friends to post "friends only" at the very least, as well. We all have that asshole friend who's posts are "Everyone", and when you comment on their keg stand picture, your friends see it.

Learn the system, game the system.

07 Nov 2012 09:17 PM
dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
I have a simple policy: I friend NOBODY from work, NONE of my students. The only student exception is one who was my student back in the mid '90s and found me on FB in about 2010. I figure fifteen years is enough buffer time. But I keep my FB existence virtually totally separate from my work existence. And I keep both of them rigorously separate from dahmers love zombie.

07 Nov 2012 09:18 PM
jaybeezey     
How about don't be a 16yr old girl and stay off Facebook?

07 Nov 2012 09:18 PM
Indubitably     

AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe you should have bosses as cool as me. My employees have friended me, and I love seeing what they're up to and thinking. Sometimes I comment, most times I don't.

I feel like it gives us a chance to get to really understand each other, and none of them seem to be sociopaths, at least as far as I can tell from their posting. That's a good thing.

Since I started doing this, I've begun requiring they write at least one post a day about anything they feel like. It could be about what they're eating for lunch or ways they think the company could be improved. We're always on the lookout for ways to do things better around here.

I also encourage the employees to send friend requests to each other, though this isn't a rule yet. We're all in this together, so adding another means of communication is useful. Some people are shy and can't express themselves in person, so the chance to share online via Facebook is pretty great for them.


"Require?"

07 Nov 2012 09:19 PM
ADubs86    [TotalFark]  

CreativeFarkHandle: For me, it was fine. My boss had no problem with the shiat I posted on my wall and likely had worse posted on hers. It probably depends on what kind of rapport you have with your boss.


Same here. Also my boss is one of my best friends and we go out and party damn near every two weeks when we get paid. If you've got a great boss, what you put on FB doesn't matter. Now HR personnel on the other hand.......................

07 Nov 2012 09:19 PM
xant     
I'm on G+ and several of my employees invited me to circles. I almost never circle them, because I am aware of that boundary, but I will if they initiate it.

I don't see many posts from them. I suspect I'm in the "NO PARTY PICS" circle.

/long story short: g+ gives you much more control over posting stupid shiat your boss can see

07 Nov 2012 09:20 PM
Silverstaff     

PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.


At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (redneck Hannah Montana?), but it makes for a lousy real-life situation.

She was called in to the Captain's office, where her Sergeant and Captain said they knew all about her lying when she had called in sick many times, they even had her FB page pulled up in the office for evidence. She was out of sick time, and had been having to charge her absences to vacation time, which was almost out too, her attendance had become a serious issue. They basically told her she would have to choose one career or the other. They expected her to just give up on the singing on the side.

She turned her badge and gun in on the spot. By the end of the day she'd dropped off a few cardboard boxes with her bulletproof vest, duty belt, uniforms, and all her various department property. I don't know how her career is doing now, but the whole thing just seemed ridiculously dumb on so many levels.

07 Nov 2012 09:20 PM
missiv     
Friending your boss is a teachable moment, because, friending them is pretty dumb.

07 Nov 2012 09:21 PM
Brick-House     
Onec you friended them youcan never unfriend. Unfriend = Unjob

07 Nov 2012 09:22 PM
PatriciaFarkette     
Oh hell no! But only because she would make dumb comments on all my pictures and posts.

07 Nov 2012 09:22 PM
pedrop357     
Accept the request and firewall them off. Put them in a separate group and limit what that group sees.

07 Nov 2012 09:23 PM
Mensan     
Friending your boss is probably every bit as stupid as submitting a link to the last page in an article.

Brilliant, Subby.

07 Nov 2012 09:23 PM
Indubitably     

Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (rednec ...


To posit...

07 Nov 2012 09:23 PM
Acharne     
This happens to me. My boss and I are FB friends but I don't rant about work. I do however get to see the people we supervise (small town, you hire friends) biatch about work and sometimes I feel the need to gently remind them who all can see that. I don't mind venting, but there are limits.

Staying off Facebook and not having a profile is the best choice. Facebook is the devil.

07 Nov 2012 09:24 PM
Brick-House     
For those of you who want to risk it... 

mankindunplugged.comView Full Size

07 Nov 2012 09:24 PM
fredbox     

Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (rednec ...


I really don't have a problem with someone who can't follow rules not being a cop. I wonder why they let it go on so long that she used all her sick leave, though, and still offered her a choice in the matter rather than sending her off to the other career post haste. Oh, right, public employee unions. Never mind.

07 Nov 2012 09:24 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or some ...


P.S. I don't Face other than to own one in my name. Word.

07 Nov 2012 09:25 PM
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