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   How to burglarize a house, NJ style

08 Nov 2012 12:40 PM   |   12694 clicks   |   Yahoo
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The Angry Hand of God     
DiEING.

UGH.

08 Nov 2012 12:43 PM
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StoPPeRmobile     
Its a miracle that personal watercraft exist.

08 Nov 2012 12:44 PM
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Walker    [TotalFark]  
I like how he said "I didn't take any thing" and then he said "I took blankets" then he said "I took a black jacket too". Not putting him down. Just funny how he said he didn't take anything when he took things.

08 Nov 2012 12:47 PM
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Hector Remarkable     
Tell my wife I'm an orangutan very much.
She kno-o-o-ows.

08 Nov 2012 12:47 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  
Not a burglary, not even a trespass.

08 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
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Nightsweat     
Oppam Jersey Style?

/Heeey Macarena!

08 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
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drongozone     

StoPPeRmobile: Its a miracle that personal watercraft exist.


I take exception to the phrase "personal watercraft"

08 Nov 2012 12:51 PM
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frizzo     
"Clearly you have a serious learning disabiity, dude."

static.tvfanatic.com

08 Nov 2012 12:52 PM
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Mattyb710     
So the farking idiot walked outside during the storm, and got swept away. Then he managed to make it someplace safe, and walked outside again because hey, it worked so well the first time. Luckily he was rescued and taken someplace safe yet again. Finally his father came along to put him back on the leash and lead him back home.

This man is a farking idiot and his story should not be considered inspiring in any way.

08 Nov 2012 12:53 PM
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Sin_City_Superhero    [TotalFark]  
This is clearly Obama's fault. Mitt Romney would've made certain that the guy was dead...

08 Nov 2012 12:54 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
Please tell anyone who doesn't know me just how much an idiot I am. I ignore widely publicized warnings regarding impending bad weather. I bring shame to my parents, my family, and most of all the residents of New Jersey, who just don't get enough hate from many people who have never even been here. Permit me to be a shining beacon of all that is both stupid and ignorant. I love you Mom & Dad.

PS: since i'm going to die, Mom, I've always wanted to put it in your pooper. i mean that in the nicest way, you've got a GREAT ass. please tell my football coach i was banging his son the quarterback all through high school, even though no one knew we was teh ghey. coach treated me like crap and i'm hoping the news will kill him. it was a secret well kept! XXXOOO

08 Nov 2012 12:55 PM
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JackieRabbit     
Mike sounds drunk.

08 Nov 2012 12:56 PM
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thebpem     
This doesn't help the image of Mike's everywhere.

/Bunch of retards
//Retarded name
///You double your IQ by changing it to Michael.

wiki.tarantino.info

08 Nov 2012 12:57 PM
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Zukipilot     
COOL subby? A man decides to stay in his home that is barely above sea level, on man made canals, with a HUGE storm coming, and in his stupidity almost dies. Then he breaks into some old ladies home, graffiti wrecks her walls, steals her blankets and then decides to go for another swim.... ....

DUMBASS maybe but not cool....

08 Nov 2012 12:59 PM
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Englebert Slaptyback     

How to burglarize a house


BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE
BURGLE



mushroom, mushroom

08 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
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davidphogan     

Walker: I like how he said "I didn't take any thing" and then he said "I took blankets" then he said "I took a black jacket too". Not putting him down. Just funny how he said he didn't take anything when he took things.


I was thinking the same thing. He obviously wasn't thinking clearly, but I laughed.

08 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
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KingKauff    [TotalFark]  

Zukipilot: COOL subby? A man decides to stay in his home that is barely above sea level, on man made canals, with a HUGE storm coming, and in his stupidity almost dies. Then he breaks into some.old.ladys home, graffiti wrecks her walls, steals her blankets and then decides to go for another swim.... ....

DUMBASS maybe but not cool....


I could swear she lived in Arkansas

08 Nov 2012 01:01 PM
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Odd Bird     

thebpem: This doesn't help the image of Mike's everywhere.

/Bunch of retards
//Retarded name
///You double your IQ by changing it to Michael.


Why should I change my name? They're the ones who suck.

/sadly, I resembled the four-eyed Bolton

08 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
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Red_Fox     
Dieing lol-ing at this fool.

/guido?

08 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
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SpiceWeaselElzar     
Well......... Did she get the jacket back?

08 Nov 2012 01:05 PM
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Salmon     
Drama queen. I can imagine him practicing his dance routine while writing it

08 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
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tuxq     
Who can be so narrow-sighted that they point out spelling errors?

He was nearly freezing to death and about to drown, do you think he gives 2 shiats about grammatical/spelling errors? This is why you'll die alone.

/you disappoint.

08 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
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FizixJunkee     
Is it burglarize or burgle?

08 Nov 2012 01:13 PM
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Frankenstorm     
Mike and the Flood: A Guido's Tale

08 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  

FizixJunkee: Is it burglarize or burgle?


Depends. Is it 2012 or 1885?

08 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
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JackieRabbit     

thebpem: This doesn't help the image of Mike's everywhere.

/Bunch of retards
//Retarded name
///You double your IQ by changing it to Michael.

[wiki.tarantino.info image 464x299]


Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels

08 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
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Fark Rye For Many Whores     

Mattyb710: So the farking idiot walked outside during the storm, and got swept away. Then he managed to make it someplace safe, and walked outside again because hey, it worked so well the first time. Luckily he was rescued and taken someplace safe yet again. Finally his father came along to put him back on the leash and lead him back home.

This man is a farking idiot and his story should not be considered inspiring in any way.


Hypothermia + bullet holes = ?

08 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
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proteon     
From the letter "my name is Mike"

From the article "farewell note asking her to "tell my Dad I love him."

Girls name is Mike.

08 Nov 2012 01:16 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  

JackieRabbit: Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels


I have an employee whose name is Ricky. It's on his birth certificate.

08 Nov 2012 01:16 PM
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jdamaral     

Mattyb710: So the farking idiot walked outside during the storm, and got swept away. Then he managed to make it someplace safe, and walked outside again because hey, it worked so well the first time. Luckily he was rescued and taken someplace safe yet again. Finally his father came along to put him back on the leash and lead him back home.

This man is a farking idiot and his story should not be considered inspiring in any way.


All of this.

What the fark?

08 Nov 2012 01:16 PM
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fat boy     
Han Guido could have rescued him by tucking him into a warm Snooki.

08 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
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The Muthaship    [TotalFark]  

The Angry Hand of God: DiEING.

UGH.


Don't be bitter just because he escaped you, The Angry Hand of God.

08 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
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groppet     
I thought this was going to be about the guy posing as a red cross worker. Dummy shoulda listened to the Governor he was telling people they were idiots for staying and he was right.

08 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
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ZzeusS     

Mattyb710: So the farking idiot walked outside during the storm, and got swept away. Then he managed to make it someplace safe, and walked outside again because hey, it worked so well the first time. Luckily he was rescued and taken someplace safe yet again. Finally his father came along to put him back on the leash and lead him back home.

This man is a farking idiot and his story should not be considered inspiring in any way.




"I stayed around my home and was screwing around in my kitchen making pancakes, when out of nowhere this wave washed me out of my kitchen and onto my awe inspiring story. Even though I had National Guard troops telling me to evacuate 10 different times and all my neighbors left, and I lost power two hours ago, this wacky wave just came out of nowhere!"

08 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
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CandidCallie     

Red_Fox: Dieing lol-ing at this fool.

/guido?


His father's name is "Tony."

08 Nov 2012 01:25 PM
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DownDaRiver    [TotalFark]  
So some chick near the back of the bay, presumably farther from the shore line evecuated.
This guy closer to the shore line didn't, payed for it and caused concern an worry for others needlesly.

Dumb people problems

08 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
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ggecko     
Before I even clicked I figured it was some 20-something male punk, glad I wasn't surprised.

Shocked he wasn't posting it on facebook as it happened....

08 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
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wingding     
Next time forget the note, take the cash.

08 Nov 2012 02:23 PM
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GloomCookie613     

The Muthaship: JackieRabbit: Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels

I have an employee whose name is Ricky. It's on his birth certificate.


Mom skipped straight to "Mandy" for me. Used to drive me nuts when people assumed it was short for Amanda. Now I just ignore anyone calling me it. You'll figure it out if you want my attention badly enough.

"Hey, Amanda?"
*silence*
"Amanda?"
*silence*
"Mandy! Pay attention! I called your name three times already!"
"No, you've called MY name once. I have no idea who or where Amanda is, buddy."

08 Nov 2012 03:06 PM
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Loren     

The Angry Hand of God: DiEING.

UGH.


Hypothermia. His brain probably wasn't working too well when he wrote that.

08 Nov 2012 03:22 PM
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netringer    [TotalFark]  

GloomCookie613: The Muthaship: JackieRabbit: Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels

I have an employee whose name is Ricky. It's on his birth certificate.

Mom skipped straight to "Mandy" for me. Used to drive me nuts when people assumed it was short for Amanda. Now I just ignore anyone calling me it. You'll figure it out if you want my attention badly enough.

My old buddy's legal name was "Eddie," but he'd tell people he was Ed. I know a Jann who isn't a Janice.

08 Nov 2012 03:30 PM
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boogie_down     

The Muthaship: JackieRabbit: Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels

I have an employee whose name is Ricky. It's on his birth certificate.


You're a good man for taking a chance and employing an adult with "special needs".

Bravo, sir. Bravo.

08 Nov 2012 03:31 PM
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Ultraviolet Catastrophe     

JackieRabbit:

Michael is a name. Mike is a nickname. Unless the parents are retarded and name their kid Mike, all Mikes are Michaels


I know a pair of identical twins named Rob and Bob, neither of them is Robert. One is a statistician, the other a nuclear engineer.

08 Nov 2012 04:07 PM
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hogans     

tuxq: Who can be so narrow-sighted that they point out spelling errors?

He was nearly freezing to death and about to drown, do you think he gives 2 shiats about grammatical/spelling errors? This is why you'll die alone.

/you disappoint.


I'd rather be dead than illiterate. If karma shines favorably upon me, I'll take out a handful of such idiots with me when I go.

08 Nov 2012 05:21 PM
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kayanlau     
Really? A 28 year-old? From the letter it looked like a 14 year-old to me, from both a grammatical standpoint and a psychological standpoint.

08 Nov 2012 09:05 PM
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JustinCase     

davidphogan: Walker: I like how he said "I didn't take any thing" and then he said "I took blankets" then he said "I took a black jacket too". Not putting him down. Just funny how he said he didn't take anything when he took things.

I was thinking the same thing. He obviously wasn't thinking clearly, but I laughed.


TA also said he left cash.

08 Nov 2012 10:11 PM
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