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   Pastor fondles 2 men while counseling them about their sexuality. "I guess you could say *puts on sunglasses* he didn't handle it very well..... YEEAAAHHHH"

08 Nov 2012 09:46 PM   |   7949 clicks   |   Minneapolis Star Tribune
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phlegmmo    [TotalFark]  
...a ministry devoted to helping people put their homosexuality behind them...

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08 Nov 2012 03:20 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk     
That's just nuts

08 Nov 2012 03:22 PM
ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  
I am so surprised. Shocked, even.

08 Nov 2012 03:36 PM
Cythraul     
You're doing it wrong!

08 Nov 2012 03:36 PM
Cythraul     
thumbs.mugshots.comView Full Size


"Let me help you get rid of your homosexuality, but unzipping your pants.. "

08 Nov 2012 03:38 PM
Aarontology     
What was he gonna do, suck it out?

08 Nov 2012 04:22 PM
AbbeySomeone     

Aarontology: What was he gonna do, suck it out?


Much like snake venom.

08 Nov 2012 04:52 PM
Aarontology     

AbbeySomeone: Aarontology: What was he gonna do, suck it out?

Much like snake venom.


lol

08 Nov 2012 05:18 PM
stpauler    [TotalFark]  
"It's like getting caught smoking. You have to do a lot of men until you're tired of it."

08 Nov 2012 08:09 PM
Cythraul     
And it got greenlit. Awesome.

08 Nov 2012 08:11 PM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  

stpauler: "It's like getting caught smoking. You have to do a lot of men until you're tired of it."


"Listen here, young man. You do NOT get to leave until you've witnessed every permutation of 19 men, all open-minded and three glory holes. Now, get to watching."

08 Nov 2012 08:45 PM
Britney Spear's Speculum     
no weeners tag?

08 Nov 2012 09:51 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     
An Isanti County pastor who participated in a ministry devoted to helping people put their homosexuality behind them put their penises in his mouth, has been charged with sexually assaulting two men he was counseling.

FTFY..and ....ewww
/could have been worse i guess... could have been a little boy.

08 Nov 2012 09:52 PM
farkingismybusiness    [TotalFark]  
I bet his knees are pretty bruised from praying all that gay away.

08 Nov 2012 09:53 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

Aarontology: What was he gonna do, suck it out?


When you watch enough City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold, ANYTHING'S possible.

08 Nov 2012 09:57 PM
sjcousins     
What a great way to meet gay men with similar values.

08 Nov 2012 09:59 PM
Kanemano     
in a row?:

08 Nov 2012 10:03 PM
ArmednHammered    [TotalFark]  

Aarontology: AbbeySomeone: Aarontology: What was he gonna do, suck it out?

Much like snake venom.

lol


Doc says you're gonna die!

08 Nov 2012 10:04 PM
BeerGraduate     
IsAnti gay?

08 Nov 2012 10:06 PM
zvoidx    [TotalFark]  
( •_•)⌐■-■ Looks like he's...

(⌐■_■) ...pastor point of no return.

/YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

08 Nov 2012 10:06 PM
YoungSwedishBlonde     
Ahhh, yes the northern exurbs of the Twin Cities, home to Fark's favorite congresswoman.

08 Nov 2012 10:07 PM
UsikFark     

AbbeySomeone: Aarontology: What was he gonna do, suck it out?

Much like snake venom.


something more like the scene from The Green Mile.

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08 Nov 2012 10:10 PM
sirbissel     
So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?

08 Nov 2012 10:23 PM
MrVeach     

zvoidx: ( •_•)⌐■-■ Looks like he's...

(⌐■_■) ...pastor point of no return.

/YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH


What happened to the bridge of the sunglasses?

08 Nov 2012 10:24 PM
Devolving_Spud     
Hopefully, he can continue God's Work behind bars.

08 Nov 2012 10:25 PM
wellreadneck     
The laying on of hands is often required for true spiritual healing.
Bearing witness while the afflicted rubs one out, not so much.

08 Nov 2012 10:31 PM
Bit'O'Gristle     

sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?


/yes..you have sadly been infected by multiple Trojan and malware viruses. These are referred to as "code red" viruses that will not only send your personal info out, but will rape rape your wife, kill your dog, and cause your testicles to switch places with your head, forever earning you the unfortunate moniker of "Capt. Testicle face". For a nominal fee...we at Wepwnedyou Inc. will be more than happy to sell you the appropriate software to remove these vicious viruses from your hard drive, and save you the embarrassment of having to wear 2 hats on your new heads. Software guaranteed made in Zambia, and by child labor.

//in all seriousness..did you recently install something? look on tucows.com for free antivirus and malware software programs.

08 Nov 2012 10:36 PM
JWideman     

sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?


What did you install recently?

08 Nov 2012 10:37 PM
Can't_Think_Of_A_Name     

sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?


I've got that too, I was assuming it was part of Chrome but in retrospect it sounds too invasive for google.

08 Nov 2012 10:39 PM
Driver     

wellreadneck: The laying on of hands is often required for true spiritual healing.
Bearing witness while the afflicted rubs one out, not so much.


Maybe he was waiting for the second cumming.

08 Nov 2012 10:42 PM
tetsoushima     

Driver: wellreadneck: The laying on of hands is often required for true spiritual healing.
Bearing witness while the afflicted rubs one out, not so much.

Maybe he was waiting for the second cumming.


He is risen!

08 Nov 2012 10:46 PM
Godscrack     
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"Take this and eat it, for this is my body..."

08 Nov 2012 10:49 PM
m053486     
I love how everybody's jumping the gun on just which penis(es) went where

/Seriously, could've been a dong-everywhere situation.

08 Nov 2012 10:50 PM
redflag     
Meh. Can we make this thread about the best CSI: Miami jokes you've seen? 

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08 Nov 2012 10:50 PM
Arumat     

Can't_Think_Of_A_Name: sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?

I've got that too, I was assuming it was part of Chrome but in retrospect it sounds too invasive for google.


You're...you're joking, right?

08 Nov 2012 10:51 PM
Bad_ad85     
So, cant_think_of_a_name and sirbissel both caught something... Has anyone checked the priest's PC?

08 Nov 2012 10:55 PM
Amos Quito     

sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?



Sounds like malware, but I'll warn you:

There are SOME so-called anti-malware programs that are not actually interested in curing you of your problem.

Like our friend the pastor, they just want to get into your pants pocket.


/Malwarebites = good
//Malwaresucks = bad
///Malwarefudgepackage = RUN!

08 Nov 2012 10:58 PM
tekmo     
media.townhall.comView Full Size
 

Mr. Michele Bachmann approves

08 Nov 2012 10:58 PM
Amos Quito     

Can't_Think_Of_A_Name: sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?

I've got that too, I was assuming it was part of Chrome but in retrospect it sounds too invasive for google.



UNPOSSIBLE

08 Nov 2012 10:59 PM
UsikFark     

sirbissel: So I have a question, not at all related to the topic at hand. Is there some sort of new ad thing that highlights certain words and, if you hover over them will bring up some sort of ad, or have I managed to install some malware?


screencap?

Some sites have a dotted-underline for words that turn into ads when you mouse-over.

eip

08 Nov 2012 11:04 PM
tetsoushima     
vagitup.comView Full Size


Risen indeed.

08 Nov 2012 11:08 PM
bunner     
Dear Jesus people.

Stop molesting people.

It's not very Jesusy.

Thanks.

08 Nov 2012 11:12 PM
Valiente     
Let the spurts enter the body.

08 Nov 2012 11:13 PM
Meatybrain     
He was trying to heal them by giving them a small dose (clothed genital touch) of the full-on disease (homosexuality) vector (hot butt sects) in order to cure them.

It's not assault. It's nohomohomeopathy. And that man is a saint, exposing himself to such tremendous, throbbing, swollen temptation, risking his very soul to help another sufferer redeem himself from the jizz-stained color-coordinated sexually permissive "deathstyle" that is hot sweaty man-on-man-under-man-in-man-around-man sexual ecstasy.

Besides, being hot for another man's well-muscled slightly hairy buttock-cleft is okay according to Jesus. I remember bible class, and He was all about "fissures of men".

08 Nov 2012 11:13 PM
orangehat     
That's no way for Marcus Bachmann to celebrate Michelle's victory.

/Haven't read article yet

08 Nov 2012 11:15 PM
Gestankfaust     

Cythraul: And it got greenlit. Awesome.


^This...and...

Why is it that this is believed solely on the testimony of the "two men"?

08 Nov 2012 11:21 PM
ccsears     
no, no, no.... he was fighting off the great sodomite dragon beast of armageddon.

revelation 12:3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads.

see?

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08 Nov 2012 11:26 PM
wellreadneck     

tetsoushima: [vagitup.com image 300x283]

Risen indeed.


It's startling how quickly the guilt resurfaces when reminded of my shameful Jeffrey Hunter crush.

08 Nov 2012 11:27 PM
ciberido     

Kanemano: in a row?:


Hey, try not to councel any gay men on the way through the parking lot!

08 Nov 2012 11:32 PM
stonelotus     
did someone say "prayer cabin"? 

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08 Nov 2012 11:33 PM
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