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   What's the world coming to if you can't even have sex with a statue?

09 Nov 2012 05:09 PM   |   7561 clicks   |   The Sun
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Majick Thise    [TotalFark]  
Statuetory rape? Is that legitimate? Did that lion receive a gift from god? Or do lion bodies have the ability to shut that whole thing down?

09 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
oldfarthenry    [TotalFark]  
i1151.photobucket.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Well, it was just lion there askin' for it

09 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
Dogberry     
That's a man, baby!

09 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
MrBallou    [TotalFark]  

Dogberry: That's a man, baby!


Unavailable for comment
i46.tinypic.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
jbuist     
Well, welcome to Obama's America!

09 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  
bonking a bronze lion

lulz

09 Nov 2012 03:27 PM
FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
I wouldn't mind getting a handjob from the Venus de Milo.

09 Nov 2012 03:29 PM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     
In your city, man has sex with statue. In my city, statue has sex with self:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 03:35 PM
AlwaysRightBoy    [TotalFark]  
i221.photobucket.comView Full Size


Pfft.. as long as the guy is not into kids.

09 Nov 2012 03:35 PM
AlwaysRightBoy    [TotalFark]  
i221.photobucket.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 03:37 PM
brap    [TotalFark]  
*hic*  Can I have sex with your bust?

09 Nov 2012 03:37 PM
BarkingUnicorn     
I was expecting a Romney erectile dysfunction gag.

09 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
texdent    [TotalFark]  
This isn't ancient Greece.

09 Nov 2012 05:12 PM
Gonad the Ballbarian     
i2.photobucket.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 05:14 PM
tortilla burger     

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: In your city, man has sex with statue. In my city, statue has sex with self:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x600]


Hey is that the inspiration for the gay marriage equation?

09 Nov 2012 05:14 PM
M0nkeyp0x     
Some of them are fighting off the sexy time.

farm1.static.flickr.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 05:14 PM
cig-mkr     
What's the world coming to if you can't even have sex with a statue?
Ask any married guy whose wife isn't into "it"

09 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
LarryDan43     
Robert Pattinson is in big trouble.

09 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
halB     
If there's nobody around to see it except for the cops, is a crime even committed?

09 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
Sobrrr     
AlwaysRightBoy: WTF!? Is that what happens when you let your daughter in law pick your grave marker?

09 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  

texdent: This isn't ancient Greece.


It's a little oily for that.

09 Nov 2012 05:18 PM
EdNortonsTwin     
What's the world coming to if you can't even have sex with a statue?

Coming to? It sounds like your sex life after coming-up on 10 years of marriage.

09 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
farm machine     

Sobrrr: AlwaysRightBoy: WTF!? Is that what happens when you let your daughter in law pick your grave marker?


Date on that marker is 1909. Wouldn't 1969 be more appropriate?

09 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
Ryker's Peninsula     
I wonder what the statute of limitations is on a crime like that.

09 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
uncleacid     
This statute had no limitations.

09 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
scrumpox     
He was testing his mettle...

09 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
publikenemy     

cig-mkr: What's the world coming to if you can't even have sex with a statue?
Ask any married guy whose wife isn't into "it"


Yes. Arrest me now..I'm positive I can try more positions, and get more creative with that lion.

09 Nov 2012 05:23 PM
WelldeadLink     
The victim did not testify.

09 Nov 2012 05:24 PM
darth_badger     

texdent: This isn't ancient Greece.


GIS - Priapus statue - NSFW

09 Nov 2012 05:25 PM
GungFu     
www.dumb.comView Full Size


"Daddy, I don't think this is appropriate"

09 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
dv-ous     
I'd rather have sex with a tree... ;-)

09 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
uncleacid     

Ryker's Peninsula: I wonder what the statute of limitations is on a crime like that.


Shakes fist at ceiling.

09 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
Mr. Ekshun     
Sharp Knees?

09 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
madgonad     
I guess he started with kangaroos and moved on.

09 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
LowbrowDeluxe     

GungFu: [www.dumb.com image 440x333]

"Daddy, I don't think this is appropriate"


That's disturbing on multiple levels, but right up there on the list is that smile she has. No man in her life will ever live up to the dreams she had that night.

09 Nov 2012 05:32 PM
Just_a_Bear     

LarryDan43: Robert Pattinson is in big trouble.


FTW

09 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
Diogenes Teufelsdrockh     
img442.imageshack.usView Full Size


Come on, the statue was asking for it.

09 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     

Majick Thise: Statuetory rape? Is that legitimate? Did that lion receive a gift from god? Or do lion bodies have the ability to shut that whole thing down?


s12.postimage.orgView Full Size


I guess that buffalo statue looked pretty good to a lonesome moose.

09 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
KrispyKritter     
I'm like a statue stuck staring right at you
Got me frozen in my tracks.
So amazing you take me back
Each and every time the love to last.
Statue stuck staring right at you
So when I'm lost for words
A great time to disappoint you
It's just cause I can't believe
That you're so beautiful. (Stuck like a statue)
Don't wanna lose you no. (Stuck like a statue)

--- 3rd verse of Statue by Lil Eddie

09 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
olddeegee    [TotalFark]  
Or a tree...Link

09 Nov 2012 05:37 PM
Loucifer     
What they'll find is just a statue standing where the statue got you hard.

09 Nov 2012 05:41 PM
Scaevola     
Aphrodite Καλλίπυγος (Greek = "Nice Ass")

www.mlahanas.deView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 05:45 PM
BlackMtnMan    [TotalFark]  
Lions and tigers and bears oh uhh uhhh uhhhhhhh oh my.

09 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
Creoena     

cig-mkr: What's the world coming to if you can't even have sex with a statue?
Ask any married guy whose wife isn't into "it"


I can't believe it took that long to make wife jokes

/Was the first thing I thought of

09 Nov 2012 05:58 PM
royone     
More like...
www.explosm.netView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 05:59 PM
NFA    [TotalFark]  
t1.gstatic.comView Full Size
 

cdn.ebaumsworld.comView Full Size




images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 

x59.xanga.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 06:04 PM
iron de havilland    [TotalFark]  
Pic reminded me of the Cowdray Lion from my home town. It's granite though. Have climbed it drunkenly several times, never tried to shag it.

Here's a picture of it, for reference:

i.imgur.comView Full Size

09 Nov 2012 06:09 PM
AnotherOldFart     
The student told a court he was drunk and had never been in trouble with the police before.

I think he was lion.

09 Nov 2012 06:11 PM
Oznog     
He pleaded guilty and was handed a one year suspended sentence and ordered to pay costs of £20.

What's the £20 costs for? I mean if you damaged that bronze patina, IF you brought someone out to refinish the spot, it'd cost more than that.

For £20, all you could do is send over the janitor with a rag and... oh gross. OK stop thinking, scumbag brain.

09 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
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