Only two presents left to buy. First time I ever shopped ahead.

The countdown to january 1st has begun. Hopefully I have enough booze to make the next two months tolerable

Mistletoe...sounds like the opposite of cameltoe.

I usually just ignore Christmas. It simplifies things immensely.

I do put up some Christmas lights though. The nights get pretty long here in December.

No, mistletoe will cure anything -- if you eat enough of it.

How to avoid a horrible holiday season: Stay the fark away from family the entire season.

what's a christmas

Working retail conspicuously absent from list.

Vodka fixes everything.

Halleluiah, holy shiat!

Where's the Tylenol?

I'm just going to buy everyone on my list something from the Apple store... One stop shopping this year.

See your shrink

Heard my first carol in a store on 11/5.

This crap as got to stop.

Be an atheist with no kids.

/ I still make something for Mom every year, though.

yeah, some of the Home Deco/Craft stores already have christmas carols interjected with their music.

#6. You think that Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas describes your situation.

douchebag/hater: Heard my first carol in a store on 11/5.

This crap as got to stop.

Maybe this will help:

It may be cured with one of my mistletoe belt buckles.