Ok, it's now time to panic.

However, you have to love the name given to wild coffee. Psychotria Nervosa

Now, I want to try it.

Juan Valdez is just one man, and Diego is just one burro, people!

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Juan Valdez is just one man, and Diego is just one burro, people!

Is that coffee actually vegan at that point? It involves the exploitation of animals.

wildcardjack: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Juan Valdez is just one man, and Diego is just one burro, people!

Is that coffee actually vegan at that point? It involves the exploitation of animals.

I think Kopi Luwak is the only non-vegan coffee. And wouldn't any coffee exploit animals? Is not man an animal?

Climate change?

I never knew coffee grew at the North Pole. It'll all sink when all the ice melts...

WHAT THE fark?!?

What's that? 2080?

Nevermind, then. I'll be dead. Crisis averted.

And how is this different from all the other climate CYCLES the Earth has gone through? Including all the time before Humans were here, even before the Dinosaurs were here!?! Why is the Arabica suddenly going to die NOW???

/Reads headline. Panics.
//See expected end date of 2080
///relaxes, sips hot coffee

They can take my Kona From my cold, dead hands.

So...Greenland will become the new hub of coffee growing?

So the wild variety will be gone, because it can't adapt to the new temperature. OK. Let's use our brains to do something about it. We could breed a temperature resistant version. Or genetically engineer one. It would probably take a couple of decades. So if we started now, we might just ensure we have coffee in 70 years.

I look forward to telling my hypothetical grandchildren about these fantastical things called "fish," and amazing foods and beverages like coffee, tea and doughnuts as we slowly ingest our dole-yeast-and-Chlorella porridge in the morning.

murder rates increase exponentially as the coffee supplies dwindle in my immediate area

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: I look forward to telling my hypothetical grandchildren about these fantastical things called "fish," and amazing foods and beverages like coffee, tea and doughnuts as we slowly ingest our dole-yeast-and-Chlorella porridge in the morning.

no worries. a little work, a few bucks, you can grow all sorts of yummies even fish in tanks in your basement. as for coffee, i'll go the Mad Max route, shaving the sides of my head and risking life and limb as i lunge from a odd motorized buggy through the drive-in window at Dunkin Donuts, laying everyone to waste before i run out the door with a Box of Joe to go.

I'm hording now, for my ancestors.

I don't wanna live in a world without coffee.

KrispyKritter: Smirky the Wonder Chimp: I look forward to telling my hypothetical grandchildren about these fantastical things called "fish," and amazing foods and beverages like coffee, tea and doughnuts as we slowly ingest our dole-yeast-and-Chlorella porridge in the morning.

no worries. a little work, a few bucks, you can grow all sorts of yummies even fish in tanks in your basement. as for coffee, i'll go the Mad Max route, shaving the sides of my head and risking life and limb as i lunge from a odd motorized buggy through the drive-in window at Dunkin Donuts, laying everyone to waste before i run out the door with a Box of Joe to go.

Ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Day and night they grind it, ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk.

So when do we invade and occupy Colombia? To give teh freadums to the locals, of course.

7FARK7: And how is this different from all the other climate CYCLES the Earth has gone through? Including all the time before Humans were here, even before the Dinosaurs were here!?! Why is the Arabica suddenly going to die NOW???

Desertification. Any other questions?

threadjackistan: KrispyKritter: Smirky the Wonder Chimp: I look forward to telling my hypothetical grandchildren about these fantastical things called "fish," and amazing foods and beverages like coffee, tea and doughnuts as we slowly ingest our dole-yeast-and-Chlorella porridge in the morning.

no worries. a little work, a few bucks, you can grow all sorts of yummies even fish in tanks in your basement. as for coffee, i'll go the Mad Max route, shaving the sides of my head and risking life and limb as i lunge from a odd motorized buggy through the drive-in window at Dunkin Donuts, laying everyone to waste before i run out the door with a Box of Joe to go.

Ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Day and night they grind it, ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk.



There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your grinder, the beans, the coffee, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

Makh
I'm drinking coffee right now!!

Ok, it's now time to panic.

However, you have to love the name given to wild coffee. Psychotria Nervosa

Now, I want to try it.

One day, we may all have to make due with a morning bowl of Psychotria viridis!
Link

Seriously, robusta doesn't haveta be gritty rapca, it just so often is.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Juan Valdez is just one man, and Diego is just one burro, people!

El Exigente don't give a fark.

/obscure

BTW - Peak coffe? Meh. Peak Oil though is now very real. Obama just created it by outlawing any and all oil drilling Out West on any federal lands. Where, you know, all the oil is. More oil than all the Mideast combined. Makes perfect sense.

If you're Stalin.

NO. NO NO NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

/someone hold me *sob*

I guess the good news is that we have a lot of ways to synthesize caffeine through chemical conversions that don't require the coffee bean.

The quick aside at the end was a wake up call; one blight could kill off all of the bananas. What the hell have all those corrupt republics been doing all those years they've been oppressing people?

OH NO! The article says WILD (not cultivated) COFFEE MIGHT GO EXTINCT IN 70 YEARS!!11!!!1!!!1!

Surool: OH NO! The article says WILD (not cultivated) COFFEE MIGHT GO EXTINCT IN 70 YEARS!!11!!!1!!!1!

You dog wants auroch meat.

p4p3rm4t3: [img440.imageshack.us image 550x378]

thank you, over in 3

Relax, guys, we won't all be reduced to drinking tea.

Even if this one goes extinct, they'll just use another species of coffee plant that grows at lower altitudes. coffea canephora, also known as robusta, is currently used for maybe 1/5 of the world's coffee. The flavor's not as good as Arabica, but the plant is more resistant to disease and pests, and has a higher caffeine content.

Also, there are a few others: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffea#S pecies (even one that's caffeine free, but who would want that?)

KrispyKritter: Smirky the Wonder Chimp: I look forward to telling my hypothetical grandchildren about these fantastical things called "fish," and amazing foods and beverages like coffee, tea and doughnuts as we slowly ingest our dole-yeast-and-Chlorella porridge in the morning.

no worries. a little work, a few bucks, you can grow all sorts of yummies even fish in tanks in your basement. as for coffee, i'll go the Mad Max route, shaving the sides of my head and risking life and limb as i lunge from a odd motorized buggy through the drive-in window at Dunkin Donuts, laying everyone to waste before i run out the door with a Box of Joe to go.



There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your cappucino machines, the coffee beans, the french presses, and the whole Dunkin Donuts, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Meh.

Coffee isn't that tasty anyway.

Panicky morons.

Kittypie070: Panicky morons caffeine addicts.

Clemkadidlefark: BTW - Peak coffe? Meh. Peak Oil though is now very real. Obama just created it by outlawing any and all oil drilling Out West on any federal lands. Where, you know, all the oil is. More oil than all the Mideast combined. Makes perfect sense.

You know... the whole point of peak oil is that expanding production to dirtier and more expensive extraction methods isn't actually a solution.

NO!! I SAID PANICKY MORANS!!