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   Silicon Valley CEO cashes in his stock options, moves to a remote Belizean compound and surrounds himself with teenage prostitutes and guns. Spends his days looking at porn sites and posting trollish comments online. So, what's his Fark handle?

10 Nov 2012 11:43 AM   |   23043 clicks   |   Gizmodo
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Weaver95    [TotalFark]  
hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.

10 Nov 2012 11:32 AM
Slaxl     
McAfee? I hope they lock him up and throw away the key! I hate McAfee

10 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
AirForceVet    [TotalFark]  
Damn it! It's sure not ME!

10 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
jake_lex    [TotalFark]  

Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.


So would I, though probably with just a few less guns.

10 Nov 2012 11:45 AM
chuggernaught     
My money is on Pocket Ninja.

10 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
MajorTubeSteak    [TotalFark]  
I'm not seeing the problem either. Can someone who takes themselves too seriously please explain?

10 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
whither_apophis     
Best unintentional quote: "Success, for me," he has said, "is being able to wake up in the morning and feel like a 12 year old."

10 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
runcible spork     
Is there a Colonel Kurtz here?

10 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
Kuroshin     

Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.


10 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
skinink     

Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.


To Belize? Hell, I know the dollar has a great exchange rate there, but this guy has a shiatload of money. I'd rather move to a country in Europe than someplace where the government can come at you on a whim.

10 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  
I will actually have the chance to visit Belize for two weeks at the end of the year. Plus, I will have a native guide.

I just wanted a place to brag. I will read the article now.

/Cave tubing! Tropical islands! Mayan Ruins at the end of the world!
//I'll stop now.

10 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
martid4    [TotalFark]  
I remember that malware when I use to have a Windows platform.

10 Nov 2012 11:54 AM
rocky_howard     
I hope he has the anti virus installed, he doesn't want to get AIDS or super herpes.

10 Nov 2012 11:55 AM
LargeCanine     
"...and a small armory's worth of firearms: seven pump-action shotguns, one single-action shotgun, two 9-mm. pistols, 270 shotgun cartridges, 30 9-mm. pistol rounds, and twenty .38 rounds"

That is not much of an armory. Looks like for pest control, not enough ammo for serious hunting.

10 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
Hagbardr     

skinink: Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.

To Belize? Hell, I know the dollar has a great exchange rate there, but this guy has a shiatload of money. I'd rather move to a country in Europe than someplace where the government can come at you on a whim.


European regulations on teenage prostitutes are slightly stricter than in Belize.

10 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
give me doughnuts     

whither_apophis: Best unintentional quote: "Success, for me," he has said, "is being able to wake up in the morning and feel like a 12 year old."


Editted for truthiness.

10 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
Why else would a wealthy American playboy hole himself up out here, far from the tourist zone on the coast, by a navigable river that happened to connect, twenty miles downstream, with a remote corner of the Mexican border?

I think you had your answer earlier in the article:

emerged bleary-eyed from his bedroom with a 17-year-old Belizean girl

10 Nov 2012 11:59 AM
david_gaithersburg     
Could be me, but its not me.

10 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Arkanaut    [TotalFark]  
You can call him Esteban.

10 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
Marcus Aurelius     
Didn't the original raid story earlier this year indicate that McAfee had failed to properly bribe the local officials, which lead directly to the raid?

I'm off to Google.

10 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
CptnSpldng     
It's not me.

It's an interesting approach, but it's not "me."

10 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
slidillon     
TL;DR

10 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
themasterdebater     
Well ... moving to a country with underage hookers seems to be all the rage with these dot com CEOs....

10 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
dwade     
What a Belizean girl might look like:
www.belize.comView Full Size

www.belize.comView Full Size

www.belize.comView Full Size


And those are from belize.com. Those are the pics that are suppose to make you want to go there. Those were the best Belizean girls they could find. Think about that.

10 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
Nothing To See Here     
The Horror

10 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
Rip Dashrock     
Subby, he's rich, getting laid, and has a tan.
He ain't no Farker.

10 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
swangoatman     
"Success, for me," he has said, "is being able to wake up in the morning and feel like a 12 year old

Well only if she actually LOOKED 12 ....
I had a 12 year old girlfriend once, Well actually she was 20 ,but she had the body of a 12 year old so it still worked out for me

10 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
crabsno termites     
FTA: one single-action shotgun

?

10 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
Donnchadha    [TotalFark]  

Slaxl: McAfee? I hope they lock him up and throw away the key! I hate McAfee


Then they should make him share a cell with a man named Norton

10 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
dwade     

crabsno termites: FTA: one single-action shotgun

?


Its like a double barrel shotgun but only one barrel. You have to manually unhinge the barrel, eject the casing and reload after every shot.

10 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
Nick Nostril     
Dude's a grade A nutter.

10 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
NewportBarGuy    [TotalFark]  

runcible spork: Is there a Colonel Kurtz here?


I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. It's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor ... and surviving.

10 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
DreamSnipers     
FTA "John McAfee is a founding father of the anti-virus software industry, an inveterate self-promoter who built an improbable web security empire on the principles of trust and reliability,"
Clearly someone is using a version of his antivirus I never ran into. The one I run into is bloated, misses most of what it should catch, and gives off false positives. The only way they stay in business is to embed the junk on new computers and hope the new user doesn't know how to get rid of it.

10 Nov 2012 12:20 PM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  

DreamSnipers: FTA "John McAfee is a founding father of the anti-virus software industry, an inveterate self-promoter who built an improbable web security empire on the principles of trust and reliability,"
Clearly someone is using a version of his antivirus I never ran into. The one I run into is bloated, misses most of what it should catch, and gives off false positives. The only way they stay in business is to embed the junk on new computers and hope the new user doesn't know how to get rid of it.


We use McAfee at work (ugh). To be honest, I actually prefer Microsoft Security Essentials, and that's free.

10 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
ElBarto79     
The rumor is he moved all his assets to Belize to avoid any financial judgement from the lawsuit over his nephews death. The nephew was running his flight school but was not licensed as an instructor when he and his student were killed in a crash.

10 Nov 2012 12:26 PM
colimar     
I bet he doesnt have total fark

10 Nov 2012 12:26 PM
Valarius     

Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.



Hell. When I had work that's what I did. Wasn't like the plant needed my constant input on making plastic all the time anyway.

Got old though.

10 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
InternetSecurityGuard     
This just in:

Fester Bestertester is Alive and Well and Living in Peru Belize.

10 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
Saborlas    [TotalFark]  
Sounds like the sort of thing Steve Jobs would do, but I have it on moderately reliable authority that he's dead.

10 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
bigvicproton     

Hagbardr: skinink: Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.

To Belize? Hell, I know the dollar has a great exchange rate there, but this guy has a shiatload of money. I'd rather move to a country in Europe than someplace where the government can come at you on a whim.

European regulations on teenage prostitutes are slightly stricter than in Belize.


Switzerland's Sixteen-Year-Old Prostitute Problem

Switzerland is the only European country where girls are allowed to work as prostitutes beginning at age 16. That's a reasonable age of sexual consent. But for sex workers, Switzerland lives in sin until it raises the minimum age for prostitution to 18.

Link

10 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
cajunns     
What a whack job ;he's been in the sun too long

10 Nov 2012 12:29 PM
Huggermugger     
If I had that kind of dough I'd move to a classy, cultured place like Vienna or Helsinki or Copenhagen, or buy a villa on a lovely lake in northern Italy. But then, I don't want to make teh sexy with teenage girls.

10 Nov 2012 12:29 PM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     

dwade: What a Belizean girl might look like:
[www.belize.com image 400x424]
[www.belize.com image 568x310]
[www.belize.com image 400x523]

And those are from belize.com. Those are the pics that are suppose to make you want to go there. Those were the best Belizean girls they could find. Think about that.


At least they're post-ops, judging by the crotch-areas of those bikinis.

10 Nov 2012 12:31 PM
Dear Jerk     
I've been to interior Belize. There were a lot of very nice people there and there were some angry ones. This was 20 years ago so there was still some anti-colonial feeling. Given that they have a tourism based industry now, that's probably changed.
An old guy from way in the boonies asked me to take a picture of him and his brother because they didn't have one. He was worried that he would pay me and never get the picture. I said I'd do it for free and now watch this. I used a polaroid. Of course he was blown away as the picture came up. It turned out lots of people were eavesdropping, so I won that crowd over big-time.

/I never packed for a trip better than I packed for that one. I took everything I needed and used everything I took.

10 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
Gough     

LargeCanine: "...and a small armory's worth of firearms: seven pump-action shotguns, one single-action shotgun, two 9-mm. pistols, 270 shotgun cartridges, 30 9-mm. pistol rounds, and twenty .38 rounds"

That is not much of an armory. Looks like for pest control, not enough ammo for serious hunting.


What we would call a person with a collection like that if he lived in Idaho: "unarmed".

10 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
InternetSecurityGuard     
"Success, for me," he has said, "is being able to wake up in the morning and feel like a 12 year old."

But one wasn't available so he had to settle for a 17 year old.

10 Nov 2012 12:33 PM
mcreadyblue     

bigvicproton: Hagbardr: skinink: Weaver95: hell, if I had the money that's what I'd do.

To Belize? Hell, I know the dollar has a great exchange rate there, but this guy has a shiatload of money. I'd rather move to a country in Europe than someplace where the government can come at you on a whim.

European regulations on teenage prostitutes are slightly stricter than in Belize.

Switzerland's Sixteen-Year-Old Prostitute Problem

Switzerland is the only European country where girls are allowed to work as prostitutes beginning at age 16. That's a reasonable age of sexual consent. But for sex workers, Switzerland lives in sin until it raises the minimum age for prostitution to 18.

Link


I've been to Switzerland, I couldn't even afford to get drunk there.

10 Nov 2012 12:37 PM
Valarius     
"Inside, the cops found $20,000 in cash, a lab stocked with chemistry equipment, and a small armory's worth of firearms: seven pump-action shotguns, one single-action shotgun, two 9-mm. pistols, 270 shotgun cartridges, 30 9-mm. pistol rounds, and twenty .38 rounds. Vexingly for the police, all of this was actually legal. The guns were licensed and the lab appeared not to be manufacturing drugs but an herbal antibacterial compound."

That's nowhere enough ammunition for anything besides target practice. Example: I have four 25-round boxes of shotgun ammo I purchased myself and two 100-round boxes of Walmart ammo that a neighbor gave me, which means I own 300 shotgun rounds. It takes up about 14 inches of room on a single shelf. And why keep .38 rounds if you have nothing to fire them with?

Meh.

10 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
mcreadyblue     

Dear Jerk: I've been to interior Belize. There were a lot of very nice people there and there were some angry ones. This was 20 years ago so there was still some anti-colonial feeling. Given that they have a tourism based industry now, that's probably changed.
An old guy from way in the boonies asked me to take a picture of him and his brother because they didn't have one. He was worried that he would pay me and never get the picture. I said I'd do it for free and now watch this. I used a polaroid. Of course he was blown away as the picture came up. It turned out lots of people were eavesdropping, so I won that crowd over big-time.

/I never packed for a trip better than I packed for that one. I took everything I needed and used everything I took.


www.culturefried.comView Full Size

10 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
[X] Must be McAfee
[X] Why isn't this me
[X] Switzerland
[X] Needs more guns
[X] Needs more ammo

I see my services are not required here. I shall sit back and drink and watch the show.

10 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
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