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   We all knew it was just a matter of time before PETA attacked eating turkey on Thanksgiving

10 Nov 2012 12:26 PM   |   5024 clicks   |   Sun News Network
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shanrick    [TotalFark]  
I eat turkey all year long. Thanksgiving is the one day I don't eat turkey. Because I'm cutting edge and live outside the rules of society.

10 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
On Friday, the group announced it would be offering free tombstones emblazoned with the words: "Here Lies the Corpse of a Tortured Bird"

I'm thinking that slogan would look great on my big stock pot.

10 Nov 2012 12:00 PM
Ennuipoet    [TotalFark]  
Keep farking that turkey, Peta.

10 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     

Marcus Aurelius: On Friday, the group announced it would be offering free tombstones emblazoned with the words: "Here Lies the Corpse of a Tortured Bird"

I'm thinking that slogan would look great on my big stock pot.


I'm thinking of getting one to keep around and changing my name to "A.Tortured Bird", just to save my loved ones expenses at my demise.

10 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
vpb    [TotalFark]  
Yes, usually it's a matter of a year from the time they attacked it last year.

10 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
I was confused by drunkeness last night, and in this state I suddenly decided that "folderol" was the perfect word. I think in the sober light of day that this is not a universal principle, and that I was just goofy and infatuated by brain impairment - but it came to me that "folderol" is merely the word of the day not of all time.

And as we can see this has served me well today, because this is horseshiat and I'm going to eat a turkey raw to pay my respects to the People Eating Turkeylike Animals.

10 Nov 2012 12:29 PM
give me doughnuts     
PETA would rather kill your dog, than let it live with you.

10 Nov 2012 12:30 PM
jim32rr    [TotalFark]  
FARK PETA

10 Nov 2012 12:33 PM
susler     
On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.

On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.

I won't eat meat, including turkey, but it's not my place to dictate to anyone else.

So enjoy your holiday everybody.

10 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
camaroash     
Fruits and vegetables feel pain, too.

PETA spokesmodels are hot.

I got nothin.

10 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
henryhill     
Subtard: Does "matter of time" mean every single year that PETA has been around?

10 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
DownDaRiver     

henryhill: Subtard: Does "matter of time" mean every single year that PETA has been around?


Was just about to say the same thing

10 Nov 2012 12:41 PM
hovsm     
"Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky,"


I can introduce them to kids who like things to feel pain and are sadistic little creepy things so that rationale is all shot to hell.

10 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
bim1154     
People are generally at the top of the food chain.... everything else is a meal. Fu(k PETA.

10 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
RandomAxe    [TotalFark]  
If I'd never met anyone associated with PETA, I would just naturally assume they were a sham organization put up by agricultural corporations. They do more harm to the animal rights movement than anyone else by marginalizing it with terrible rhetoric and extremist positions.

Agricultural animals are routinely, systematically, and unnecessarily mistreated because corporations exist to maximize profits, The End. That's what corporations are supposed to do. Society is supposed to regulate corporate behavior. That's what society is supposed to do. PETA makes animal rights activists more objectionable to the public, on average, than agricultural corporations are. They are the high scorer for the wrong side.

There's no overwhelming reason why turkeys couldn't be treated better and yet still eaten. But PETA is helping make sure that improvements don't happen.

10 Nov 2012 12:47 PM
The Man Who Laughs     

susler: On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.


I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs a while ago that had MIke Rowe visit a turkey farm. One of his duties was to artificially inseminate some turkeys, and when he asked why they didn't just let the turkeys do it themselves he was told that the turkeys had been selectively bred and engineered to a point where it was no longer physically possible for them to breed together in the natural way. Simply put, they were too fat to reach each other.

Now I like meat, and I understand that selective breeding offers many positive aspects, and I know that modern farming can be tough in that you want to treat your livestock well but also need to make certain concessions to be profitable. That being said, when I hear a story like those turkeys I can't help but think maybe it's time to dial it back a little bit.

10 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
zulius     

hovsm: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky,"


I can introduce them to kids who like things to feel pain and are sadistic little creepy things so that rationale is all shot to hell.


Add to this, anyone who has read Fox Trot will tell you tofurky sucks...

10 Nov 2012 12:51 PM
Kurmudgeon     

susler: On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.


They should join PETF, People for the Ethical Treatment of Fetuses.
/Feti?

10 Nov 2012 12:51 PM
bopeuph     
I think it would be fun to get one of these tombstones and take a picture of it stuck to the bird with me taking a large bite into the drumstick. Then send it to PETA.

I may just do that.

10 Nov 2012 12:52 PM
res_nihil    [TotalFark]  
I'd be happy to forgo eating a turkey on thanksgiving if PETA would send me an uptight proselytizing vegan I can eat instead.

10 Nov 2012 12:52 PM
thornhill     

susler: On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.

On the other hand, who the fark do they think they are trying to tell other people what to do or what not to do. I'm willing to bet women members of PETA don't want any political body telling them they can't have an abortion.


After reading about this when I was in high school -- like 15 years ago -- I insisted that my family purchase our turkey from a local Mennonite butcher that doesn't pump the turkeys full of hormones and crap to inflate the size of their breasts and that the turkey's are kept in a true free range environment.

The turkeys are a lot smaller than what is sold in supermarkets, but we feel it's a worthy ethical tradeoff.

10 Nov 2012 12:53 PM
nakedcritic     
I'm a Person, and I'm for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. So I wish PETA would stop being such colossal douchebags.

10 Nov 2012 12:54 PM
Al!     
FTFA: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky"

Kids also love plants, and plants have been shown to react to harsh stimuli in a manner that could be construed as feeling pain. So go ahead and murder that soy plant to fuel your hate machine, PETA. Me? I'll be eating turkey and ham and anything else that finds itself fit enough for my table this Thanksgiving.

Does anyone else think that maybe PETA is just a secret wing of the shadowy soy lobby?

10 Nov 2012 12:55 PM
Spectrum     
If you really want to do some good for turkeys, buy one for Thanksgiving and release it into the wild instead of eating it. Remember to thaw it first.

10 Nov 2012 12:55 PM
skinink     

"Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there.

Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the PETA headquarters has just been BOMBED with live turkeys. Film at eleven. "


img.youtube.comView Full Size


10 Nov 2012 12:58 PM
Odoriferous Queef     
This is cool. I just ordered my tombstone. I will display it proudly in my very tasty dead bird. Thanks PETA! Now show me your tits!

10 Nov 2012 12:58 PM
bopeuph     

Al!: FTFA: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky"

Kids also love plants, and plants have been shown to react to harsh stimuli in a manner that could be construed as feeling pain. So go ahead and murder that soy plant to fuel your hate machine, PETA. Me? I'll be eating turkey and ham and anything else that finds itself fit enough for my table this Thanksgiving.

Does anyone else think that maybe PETA is just a secret wing of the shadowy soy lobby?


I have an ex roommate who's a philosophy adjunct professor, and wrote that off as horribly illogical and there's no way they can prove that. Wouldn't even read the article. Did I mention that he thinks PETA is the best American organization?

Yeah, that's exactly how an unbiased person he believes himself to be should act.

10 Nov 2012 12:59 PM
rhiannon    [TotalFark]  
But most turkeys slated to be killed for food are crammed into filthy warehouses, where disease, smothering, and heart attacks are common," PETA says.

That's not the turkey causing that, that's the gravy.

10 Nov 2012 12:59 PM
bopeuph     

Rufus Lee King: bopeuph: I think it would be fun to get one of these tombstones and take a picture of it stuck to the bird with me taking a large bite into the drumstick. Then send it to PETA.

I may just do that.

That'll show 'em!


Nothing to show, just like to be a troll for a troll. What are you doing to help the cause?

10 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
publikenemy     
Suck my meaty drumstick PETA

10 Nov 2012 01:01 PM
Mithiwithi    [TotalFark]  

The Man Who Laughs: susler: On the one hand, they're right. If people saw what commercial turkey farms looked like; they might not want to eat any.

I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs a while ago that had MIke Rowe visit a turkey farm. One of his duties was to artificially inseminate some turkeys, and when he asked why they didn't just let the turkeys do it themselves he was told that the turkeys had been selectively bred and engineered to a point where it was no longer physically possible for them to breed together in the natural way. Simply put, they were too fat to reach each other.

Now I like meat, and I understand that selective breeding offers many positive aspects, and I know that modern farming can be tough in that you want to treat your livestock well but also need to make certain concessions to be profitable. That being said, when I hear a story like those turkeys I can't help but think maybe it's time to dial it back a little bit.


You should see dairy cows these days. They are discouraged from walking around too much for fear they'll step on their own udders.

10 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
Onkel Buck     
Is there some way we can turn PETA and Westboro Bapist against each other so they kill each other off?

10 Nov 2012 01:04 PM
BigBooper     
Lets see, a quick search shows that a free range organic turkey goes for about $7.00 a pound. We paid 39 cents a pound for our tortured Jennie-O turkey.

Fark how the bird lived and died, the cheap bird is just as tasty as the expensive one. And let me tell you after years of , our brined and deep fried turkey always turns out perfect.

10 Nov 2012 01:04 PM
bromah     
I really really don't like these guys. Honestly, I can say I agree with clean and sanitary conditions for raising our livestock but FARK going vegan.

10 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
dopekitty74     

res_nihil: I'd be happy to forgo eating a turkey on thanksgiving if PETA would send me an uptight proselytizing vegan I can eat instead.


Nah, you don't want that. No meat and stringy to boot...

10 Nov 2012 01:11 PM
luktti     
Alot of turkeys don't make it past thanksgiving. (Jennifer Marlow WKRP)

10 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
snocone    [TotalFark]  
Farking fascists can keep their derp to themselves. This is food, not religion.

Maybe worry about something serious, like the worn out, dangerous paint on crosswalks.

10 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
Alt_Login     

susler:
So enjoy your holiday everybody.


Who are you to dictate my general attitude during a holiday? I will be wearing blak and mourning the tortous death of millions of my fellow earth dwellers!

10 Nov 2012 01:17 PM
downstairs    [TotalFark]  

RandomAxe: If I'd never met anyone associated with PETA, I would just naturally assume they were a sham organization put up by agricultural corporations. They do more harm to the animal rights movement than anyone else by marginalizing it with terrible rhetoric and extremist positions.



Heh.  Now that I think of it, neither have I.  Ever.  And I'm a big animal lover, as are most of my friends.

10 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
sid2112     

skinink: "Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there.

Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the PETA headquarters has just been BOMBED with live turkeys. Film at eleven. "
[img.youtube.com image 480x360]


I remember that episode! The rest of you GET OFF MY LAWN.

10 Nov 2012 01:25 PM
greggm59     
PETA is just as annoying and useless as the Westboro Baptist Church. Self-important attention whores.

10 Nov 2012 01:28 PM
kricks0954     
As God is my witness I thought turkey's could fly... I still crack up thinking about that

10 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
plushpuppy    [TotalFark]  
Tofurkey is an abomination.

10 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie     
On Friday, the group announced it would be offering free tombstones... 

What d'ya want on YOUR tombstone?

10 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
Enemabag Jones     
Can we go back to having PETA throw skinny attractive women wearing bikinis out for public display in some sort of degrading way that manages to still provide chubbies to straight men.

It was much more charming then PETA now.

10 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
LordJiro     
Eat a bag of organic dicks, PETA. Hypocritical attention-whoring shiatstains.

10 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
Flragnararch     

Al!: FTFA: "Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky"

Kids also love plants, and plants have been shown to react to harsh stimuli in a manner that could be construed as feeling pain. So go ahead and murder that soy plant to fuel your hate machine, PETA. Me? I'll be eating turkey and ham and anything else that finds itself fit enough for my table this Thanksgiving.

Does anyone else think that maybe PETA is just a secret wing of the shadowy soy lobby?


Mythbusted.png

10 Nov 2012 01:41 PM
BummerDuck     
Used to work in a machine shop. Sported a "I am a member of PETA" sign on my tool box, with "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals" in small print underneath.

/Funny how many people swore at me, or tried mocking me before reading the fine print.

10 Nov 2012 01:42 PM
panfried     
"Kids love animals, and once they realize that turkeys feel pain and fear just as dogs and cats do, they want to switch out those drumsticks for Tofurky," PETA spokeswoman Marta Holmberg says on the organization's site. "This Thanksgiving, families can give turkeys something to be thankful for by choosing delicious vegan meals."


www.vegandiva.comView Full Size

10 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
mbillips     
Romney would have "pardoned" the Thanksgiving turkey, and then quietly had it slaughtered for dinner. And not to hand out to the shiftless, either; he's eating that bad boy.

10 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
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