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   The Break-Up Begins, Again: We the State of Louisiana petition the Obama Administration to peacefully allow the State to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own Government

10 Nov 2012 02:37 PM   |   27985 clicks   |   White House
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OtherBrotherDarryl    [TotalFark]  
Fine. Go. But LSU is no longer in the SEC.

Wait, what?!?

10 Nov 2012 10:57 AM
Aarontology     
Louisiana wouldn't last six months.

10 Nov 2012 11:01 AM
El_Frijole_Blanco    [TotalFark]  
Oh look a list of klan members

10 Nov 2012 11:03 AM
gilgigamesh     
Only if New Orleans gets to remain, sort of like West Berlin. We're an island of blue in a red sea.

Either that or give us back to France. Hurray for single payer health care and an ACTUAL socialist president!

10 Nov 2012 11:06 AM
gilgigamesh     

Aarontology: Louisiana wouldn't last six months.


Louisiana takes from the US about $1.75 for every dollar it pays in. As long as we get to keep that going, we'll be fine.

10 Nov 2012 11:11 AM
Mrbogey     

gilgigamesh: Only if New Orleans gets to remain, sort of like West Berlin. We're an island of blue in a red sea.

Either that or give us back to France. Hurray for single payer health care and an ACTUAL socialist president!


Without federal funding that city would drain out of all the blue it had so fast.

10 Nov 2012 11:16 AM
Aarontology     

gilgigamesh: Aarontology: Louisiana wouldn't last six months.

Louisiana takes from the US about $1.75 for every dollar it pays in. As long as we get to keep that going, we'll be fine.


True. But I'm assuming Texas would follow suit and then annex Louisiana.

Also, did you notice that most of the people signing this seem to be from outside Louisiana?

10 Nov 2012 11:17 AM
gilgigamesh     

Aarontology: Also, did you notice that most of the people signing this seem to be from outside Louisiana?


Yeah. I suppose we should be insulted.

10 Nov 2012 11:20 AM
ToxicMunkee     
Okay, but you'll lose all of your government entitlement money. And your beloved Saints will have no one to play games against. And everyone will need passports to leave your country to visit ours. And there won't be oodles of help the next time you're hit with a hurricane.

I really want a state to leave the union. I really, really want it. Let them be a lesson to all the other red states who want to Rise Again and be all independent and stuff. I don't think they'd like their way of life. Because you don't get to become your own country but keep all the perks.

10 Nov 2012 11:22 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk     
Y'all don't come back now, hear?

10 Nov 2012 11:23 AM
gilgigamesh     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Y'all don't come back now, hear?


Bless your heart.

10 Nov 2012 11:30 AM
Aarontology     

ToxicMunkee: And your beloved Saints will have no one to play games against


Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

WHOA

Let's not get crazy.

10 Nov 2012 11:30 AM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  
HAHAHAHAAHHAAAHAHAHA

/sucks in breath

/HAHAAAAAHAAHAAAAAHAHAHA

10 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
SundaesChild    [TotalFark]  
If they thought Katrina was bad with FEMA assistance, imagine how they will fare after the next hurricane with no government help at all.

10 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
ManateeGag    [TotalFark]  
I would hope that the state residents should get more of a say if a state leaves the union. it only takes 25000 random signatures for the petition to be considered, that's a very small percentage of the population to decided for the entire thing, isn't it?

10 Nov 2012 11:35 AM
FloydA     
i105.photobucket.comView Full Size

10 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
ManateeGag    [TotalFark]  
oh, and isn't people not from Louisiana signing this petition like people from New York voting in the New Jersey gubernatorial election?

10 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk     

gilgigamesh: Bless your heart.


Hey...

/I know what that means

10 Nov 2012 11:39 AM
Krymson Tyde     
You idiots preaching about secession do realize you won't have a military other than the rednecks with guns, right? I bet you'd lose a war with Mexico.

10 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
raerae1980    [TotalFark]  
So, first Texas, now Louisiana. Just waiting for South Carolina to join in. Maybe we can trade these states for Purito Rico?

10 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
ThatGuyFromTheInternet     
Fine, but the seceding from gets to take back the levees.

10 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
Eat More Possum    [TotalFark]  
Send us a check for everything the US has helped pay for, and give us a refund on the excess in tax collections v. government money flowing in and we'll be find.

10 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
jim32rr    [TotalFark]  

raerae1980: So, first Texas, now Louisiana. Just waiting for South Carolina to join in. Maybe we can trade these states for Purito Rico?


We already support/own Puerto Rico, what's your point

10 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
Doctor Funkenstein    [TotalFark]  
Wait until week 14 of the NFL season, please. I have Marques Colston on my fantasy team. After that, sayonara, you worthless leeches. You'll be part of the ocean within two years.

10 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
raerae1980    [TotalFark]  

jim32rr: We already support/own Puerto Rico, what's your point


PR wants to become a state. Officially. It's now up to our Congress.

10 Nov 2012 12:20 PM
jim32rr    [TotalFark]  

raerae1980: jim32rr: We already support/own Puerto Rico, what's your point

PR wants to become a state. Officially. It's now up to our Congress.


Thanks for the heads-up, I'm sure it will work out well for them

10 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
WorldCitizen     
OK.

10 Nov 2012 12:44 PM
Peter von Nostrand    [TotalFark]  
Funny how we have the right wingers whining about secession already and yet we have an article saying liberal schadenfreude is out of control and doing the country harm

10 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
vpb    [TotalFark]  
Sounds good to me.

10 Nov 2012 12:57 PM
dickfreckle     

Doctor Funkenstein: Wait until week 14 of the NFL season, please. I have Marques Colston on my fantasy team. After that, sayonara, you worthless leeches. You'll be part of the ocean within two years.


You are cordially invited my dinner party next Saturday. The main course will be bowls of dicks with a red wine reduction.

/go fark yourself, pal

10 Nov 2012 12:58 PM
Marcus Aurelius    [TotalFark]  

FloydA: [i105.photobucket.com image 401x488]


Ironically enough, Sherman was a professor at LSU (or rather the school that would become LSU) before he started working with US Grant.

10 Nov 2012 01:12 PM
justbob2000    [TotalFark]  
Can we amend this or start another one that includes Texas and Mississippi? It seems like such a bargain to just get 25,000 signatures to get this ball rolling.

10 Nov 2012 01:12 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope    [TotalFark]  
i1214.photobucket.comView Full Size


If those peckerwoods want to secede, I say let 'em go. But don't give them a damn thing after they do. No assistance, no foreign aid, no nothing. Their sports teams can still play against US teams - we do it all the time with Canada. But good luck finding the funding to keep them afloat and in a stadium. I also propose we make a rule that once a state secedes, it can never come back to the US as a state. They have to come back as Puerto Rico II, Electric Boogaloo.

I can see the CSA rising again, sure. This time, though, let's let them go. if they get to feeling froggy and start shooting at us, THEN we go to war with them. And the next time we reunite the nation, we make damn sure those assholes never get full statehood again.

10 Nov 2012 02:23 PM
shower_in_my_socks    [TotalFark]  
Citizens from a poor, hurricane-prone state want to break from the US government. Have you SEEN what Haiti looks like?

10 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
Forbidden Doughnut     

gilgigamesh: Only if New Orleans gets to remain, sort of like West Berlin. We're an island of blue in a red sea.

Either that or give us back to France. Hurray for single payer health care and an ACTUAL socialist president!


New Orleans airlift, then. ( I'd support that)

10 Nov 2012 02:41 PM
anwserman     
Proving that who ever wrote the petition is an uneducated farkwad, Congress would be the body that would deal with the addition or removal of territories in the US. Obama would only be the one who would sign or veto legislation.

God I hate idiots.

10 Nov 2012 02:42 PM
Guntram Shatterhand     
Secede our oil port to the Mississippi?

Nah, I think 3,500 whiners need to haul their butts out of the country.

10 Nov 2012 02:43 PM
weclock     
I'm in Arizona (not too happy about it) and I'd like to create a petition to kick Florida off the main land, is this possible?

10 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
Felgraf     
People should start adding signiatures like "William Sherman" and "Ulysses Grant."

10 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
Jim_Tressel's_O-Face     
We the tantrum-throwing old white folk of the State of Louisiana petition the Obama Administration to peacefully allow the State to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own Government

FTFY. And no, you cannot have secession. Not yours. STFU, GBTW, and take down that old 'Impeach Warren' sign already. He's been dead longer than Reagan.

10 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
insertsnarkyusername     

Forbidden Doughnut: gilgigamesh: Only if New Orleans gets to remain, sort of like West Berlin. We're an island of blue in a red sea.

Either that or give us back to France. Hurray for single payer health care and an ACTUAL socialist president!

New Orleans airlift, then. ( I'd support that)


Yep New Orleans must be saved. In fact let's just pump all the old aid we used to give to the rest of the state into that city.

10 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
Tickle Mittens     
Guess what conservative farktards; it's not a suicide pact, it's a murder-suicide pact. You're free to leave, if anywhere else in the world will take you, but the land stays. Don't like it? Consider suicide.

10 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
Spaghettiows     
Didn't Vermont want to secede after Bush was re-elected?

10 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
Nogale     
I say call their bluff.

10 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
Snark Shark II     
You guys joke and shiat and this is Fark sure, but if we are this politically divided that people want to remove their own state from the United States, we're looking at a second Civil War. Sure it'll probably be short (brutally short) but this is a seriously bad series of events that can only lead to internal strife that will make us vulnerable to outside threats.

10 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
alwaysjaded    [TotalFark]  
There was a shiatload of signatures on that petition that weren't even from Louisiana.

10 Nov 2012 02:46 PM
NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!     
I am fairly certain that they are one of those states that take more in federal funding than they contribute by a pretty significant margin...so....them leaving would be a step towards balancing the budget, yes?

10 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
shower_in_my_socks    [TotalFark]  
The fact that they're doing this over a guy who is JUST BARELY to the left of George W. Bush is a testament to the power of the massive rightwing propaganda machine.

10 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
No problem, Louisiana. Feel free to take everything from the New Mexico border to the Florida border, too. You can call it the New Confederacy, and you can declare the Bible the sole governing document, and ban abortion, and build a big ol' wall on the Mexican border, and reinstitute segregation, and do all that shiat you've been dreaming of doing for years. Just remember a few things:

Anyone from your states who wishes to move into the United States will be able to do so UNTIL your borders close. I don't anticipate your colleges or universities to be operating any more in about 18 months. All of that OMG SPENDING!! the US government does on grants/scholarships/student loans/ science spending? Yeah, that's gone as of the moment you commit to independence. Of course, all of the debts owed by people remaining behind are still outstanding. You can choose to "call" them unforceable, but good luck with your citizens being allowed passage into the US if they're on our "bad debt" list.

All federal funds sent to your states will cease on the day of your independence. You won't owe federal taxes any more. All Medicare/Medicaid/Social Security payments will cease as well. Hey, YOU're the ones asking for a divorce.

The US military belongs to the United States. Anyone active who stays behind is AWOL. Anyone who helps you is committing a breach of the UCMJ. We'll get our stuff moved north as soon as we can, but in the meanwhile, no touchy.

All of the US national parks are US government property. Please pay for them at fair market value. US dollars, thankyouverymuch. BEFORE you build your borders.

All US trademarks/patents/etc, are enforceable under provisions of international law. Heh, unless you intend to abrogate all of those, in which case good farking luck getting a goddamn thing imported to you, Sparky.

Any foreign factory operating in your area will have the opportunity to relocate within the United States (at their own expense, of course). They can stay if they want, but your tendencies towards foreigners mayyyy tend to put them off a bit.

You will receive zero dollars in foreign aid for the first twenty years of your independence. You will continue to receive zero dollars in foreign aid until/unless your constitution contains guarantees which are indicative that you are acting like civilized human beings.

You will begin from the start in negotiating trade agreements with the US. You will NOT gain favored nation trading status until you earn it.

10 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
antidisestablishmentarianism    [TotalFark]  

weclock: I'm in Arizona (not too happy about it) and I'd like to create a petition to kick Florida off the main land, is this possible?


Go Bugs Bunny on it.

10 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
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