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   Steven Johnson, 24, broke into a home early Thursday morning and helped himself to an extravagant dinner of steak, clams, shrimp, and crab legs and washed it down with coconut rum and vanilla vodka before escaping with a box of Klondike bars

10 Nov 2012 06:46 PM   |   6068 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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FlyingLizardOfDoom    [TotalFark]  
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

10 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
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Mugato    [TotalFark]  
coconut rum and vanilla vodka

Any butt plugs with that?

10 Nov 2012 02:52 PM
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quatchi     
Stupid criminal stories are usually fun but drunken criminal stories are often better.

Hope he enjoyed it all cos I'm pretty sure they don't serve Klondike bars and coconut rum where he's going next.

10 Nov 2012 03:24 PM
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Polartank13    [TotalFark]  

Mugato: coconut rum and vanilla vodka

Any butt plugs with that?


I was going to say, with that mix of dinner and booze, that dump is going to be epic.

10 Nov 2012 04:47 PM
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MC O'Brien     
No HERO tag?

10 Nov 2012 06:52 PM
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p4p3rm4t3     
img33.imageshack.us

10 Nov 2012 06:53 PM
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Sum Dum Gai     
Need more details. Were the steak, clams, crab legs, and shrimp cooked, or did this guy just make a four course meal in someone else's kitchen?

Anyone breaking in to my place would be helping themselves to a delicious box of macaroni and cheese, maybe with a hot dog or brat assuming the buns haven't gone completely stale yet.

10 Nov 2012 06:56 PM
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BarkingUnicorn    [TotalFark]  
I wanna know why the couple was napping on the couch. Was Goldilocks in their bed?

10 Nov 2012 06:57 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
i.dailymail.co.uk

What Klondike bars may look like.

Thanks Daily Fail!

10 Nov 2012 06:57 PM
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Amos Quito     
He looks genuinely sorry.

10 Nov 2012 06:59 PM
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Gyrfalcon     
"Oh, not the crab legs, those got left out on the counter last night."

10 Nov 2012 07:03 PM
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you have pee hands     
I read it as Steven Jackson and was needless to say extremely disappointed.

10 Nov 2012 07:04 PM
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NobleHam     
Who just keeps steak, clams, shrimp AND crab-legs in their fridge? Isn't one or two at a time enough?

10 Nov 2012 07:05 PM
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Tom_Slick     
This is why I shred my grocery receipts, don't want others to know my kitchen is full of awesome eats.

10 Nov 2012 07:08 PM
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7th Son of a 7th Son     

you have pee hands: I read it as Steven Jackson and was needless to say extremely disappointed.


You're not the only one.

10 Nov 2012 07:17 PM
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Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  

NobleHam: Who just keeps steak, clams, shrimp AND crab-legs in their fridge? Isn't one or two at a time enough?


You poor people crack me up!

10 Nov 2012 07:18 PM
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BigLuca     
From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"

10 Nov 2012 07:18 PM
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swahnhennessy     
I am also wondering how and why that assortment of food was available.

10 Nov 2012 07:23 PM
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freewill    [TotalFark]  

FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


Came here for this.

/ must be read as "doo-oo-OO"

10 Nov 2012 07:26 PM
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FunkOut    [TotalFark]  
i2.listal.com

Are they sure it wasn't this woman who broke into their house?

10 Nov 2012 07:52 PM
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Fish in a Barrel     
Those candy bar/cookie/whatever Klondikes are awesome. I love the Oreo and Heath ones.

10 Nov 2012 07:55 PM
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the801     
Once he had left, the owner called the police and the man was quickly apprehended

in pennsylvania? dailymail.co.uk? ok.

here in texas it would have taken at least 45 minutes after calling 911 for the cops to show up so that they could fill out paperwork about your robbery.

10 Nov 2012 08:02 PM
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Pants full of macaroni!!     

FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!

10 Nov 2012 08:06 PM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  
Mmmm, vanilla vodak.

10 Nov 2012 08:19 PM
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superchump     

Pants full of macaroni!!: FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!


Would you....would you kill a man?

10 Nov 2012 08:21 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
i tend to make a ruckus preparing dinner when sober. this lad was shiatfaced late night and he was so quiet no one woke up eh? fixing a meal in a strangers house no less. okey-dokey.

10 Nov 2012 08:25 PM
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flemardo     
I'm sure he also ate the home owner's Rolex collection, their Mona Lisa, and their 50lbs truffle.

10 Nov 2012 08:46 PM
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Pribar    [TotalFark]  
Man I wish some burglar would raid my fridge, the resulting food poisoning would serve him right,

/I got some take out stuff on the bottom shelf thats old enough to vote
/would clean it out but the last time I tried the jello kicked my ass

10 Nov 2012 08:59 PM
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Shadow Blasko     
and .. and... he ate my God Damned Clamcakes!


/banned off the royter

10 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
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McDougal     

BigLuca: From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"


Well played, sir.

10 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
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phamwaa     
Stevie, how could you?
www.nflpassers.com
/eh, hot

10 Nov 2012 09:37 PM
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Thai_Mai_Xhu     

BigLuca: From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"


LULZ!
Well played.

10 Nov 2012 09:58 PM
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BitwiseShift     
Product placement is very important in movie crime scenes and actual crime scenes.

If a van pulls up to you house, delivering a lot of expensive food you didn't order, prepare to be burglarized later in the day.  Just pray they have good taste so you can avoid the embarrassment in the newspaper articles with pictures.

10 Nov 2012 11:22 PM
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Pants full of macaroni!!     

superchump: Pants full of macaroni!!: FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!

Would you....would you kill a man?


No way. Crossing the street is dangerous enough.

11 Nov 2012 10:07 AM
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Your Average Witty Fark User     

martid4: Mmmm, vanilla vodak.


You're a farking idiot.

Props to subby for spelling it correctly.

11 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
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mrspof     
Also had tasty vanilla vodak last night though I didn't break into someone's house for surf and turf first. Kickass vanilla blueberry martini: 2 jiggers vanilla Absolut from the freezer, 2 jiggers Oceanspray blueberry juice, shake until you have to peel your fingers off the shaker. Serve in martini glass with blueberries. Drink with a snack.

/jiggity

11 Nov 2012 12:37 PM
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martid4    [TotalFark]  

Your Average Witty Fark User: martid4: Mmmm, vanilla vodak.

You're a farking idiot.

Props to subby for spelling it correctly.


Refresh my memory, did I tell you to blow me today?

11 Nov 2012 03:24 PM
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scalpod     
Porridge wasn't good enough for him!

11 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
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