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   After Hurricane Sandy, Nestle donates hundreds of Hot Pockets to Newark residents. First water, then fire, now lava - they can't catch a break

11 Nov 2012 08:00 AM   |   2158 clicks   |   Huffington Post
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Fear_and_Loathing    [TotalFark]  
NIce Headline,  Subby.

11 Nov 2012 04:50 AM
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nekom    [TotalFark]  
This is most definitely true of the barbeque variety.

11 Nov 2012 07:01 AM
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kronicfeld    [TotalFark]  
...place directly in toilet.

11 Nov 2012 07:22 AM
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peg_leg     
Are they trying to kill them?

Hot pockets suck.

11 Nov 2012 08:06 AM
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apoptotic     
I have to admit... as marketing stunts go, this one was pretty clever.

11 Nov 2012 08:06 AM
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Fark Reddit or bust     
Seriously Subby? "Than" refers to a comparison. "Then" is the transition. Ruined a goddamn good headline.

11 Nov 2012 08:09 AM
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HotIgneous Intruder     
Mountain Dew and Doritos would be better.

11 Nov 2012 08:10 AM
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Pontious Pilates     
Hooooot pooooockets.

11 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
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e lo     
Good morning! You're about to call in sick.

/Hoooooot pooooockets

11 Nov 2012 08:16 AM
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StrikitRich    [TotalFark]  
Adam Curry must be laughing himself to death about now.

11 Nov 2012 08:19 AM
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thamike     
2.bp.blogspot.com

I F*CKA UPPA YOU MOUF!

11 Nov 2012 08:23 AM
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HotIgneous Intruder     
I nuked and bit into a hot pocket only to have my helpless mouth filled with scalding molten cheese and meat chunks exactly once in my life and that was years ago.
Never again.
Nevar.

11 Nov 2012 08:28 AM
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whatsupchuck     
media.avclub.com

/hot, like pockets

11 Nov 2012 08:32 AM
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abadabba     
If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

11 Nov 2012 08:32 AM
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Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


Screw that. Years of impatience has given me an iron mouth. No food is too molten lava hot for me to bite into immediately!

11 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
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thamike     

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.

11 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
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BeerBear     

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


Guess I'm used to eating them once I cook them, never had any problems no matter how hot they are

11 Nov 2012 08:41 AM
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Sass-O-Rev     
How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?

11 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
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Pontious Pilates     

BeerBear: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

Guess I'm used to eating them once I cook them, never had any problems no matter how hot they are


Or, your mouth has become a sodium-encrusted callus.

11 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
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TheOther     

thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.


i309.photobucket.com

11 Nov 2012 08:46 AM
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voran     
Kinda late for sandbags, right?

11 Nov 2012 08:49 AM
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Kriggerel     
As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets

11 Nov 2012 08:52 AM
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Shadowtag     

Sass-O-Rev: How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?


That was my first thought. My second was "cheeseburger".

11 Nov 2012 08:54 AM
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HotIgneous Intruder     

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


I challenge you to follow the directions exactly and eat one of these without being burned.
When the outside is cool enough to bite, the inside is just below the vaporization temperature of molten titanium.

11 Nov 2012 08:57 AM
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HotIgneous Intruder     

Sass-O-Rev: How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?


They can grill them!

11 Nov 2012 08:57 AM
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JabbaTheButt     
I blame Obama.

11 Nov 2012 09:00 AM
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ms_lara_croft    [TotalFark]  

Honest Bender: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

Screw that. Years of impatience has given me an iron mouth. No food is too molten lava hot for me to bite into immediately!


And I though the molten lava is what comes out the other end after you eat a Hot Pocket.

11 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
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ms_lara_croft    [TotalFark]  
I knew (online) the ex-husband of the woman whose family owned Hot Pockets. He was angry over not getting his way in his divorce, and molten lava regularly flowed from his fingertips whenever he left messages about her all over the web. Heh heh.

11 Nov 2012 09:09 AM
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Saberus Terras     
I've not had an issue with scalding hot pockets.

Wifey just recently learned about the tear-away on the crisping sleeve after watching me. She was so excited.

11 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
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e lo     

Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets


Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.

11 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
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Giltric     
The last time they donated needed sustenance to black people it was cans of flour and water marked baby formula. 


/chicken and waffle hot pocket?

11 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
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farkingbubbler     
Would've been hundreds of thousands of those things, except Gov. Christie had to taste-test them.

11 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Haven't those people suffered enough?

11 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
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Kriggerel     

e lo: Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets

Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.


Ah, thank you. Glad to be of cervix. :P

11 Nov 2012 10:00 AM
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TheOther     

Kriggerel: e lo: Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets

Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.

Ah, thank you. Glad to be of cervix. :P


Put a helmet on your soldier, if you don't want to see the doc about a dose of corndog.

11 Nov 2012 10:04 AM
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cleveoh     
I contributed a pallet of Cap'n Crunch, but forgot to send milk.

Was that wrong?

11 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
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SwiftFox     

cleveoh: I contributed a pallet of Cap'n Crunch, but forgot to send milk.

Was that wrong?


No, it doesn't really matter if you add milk anyway. It just turns into abrasive mush.

11 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
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Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  
Wouldn't it be easier just to stick them directly in the toilet?

11 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
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mark12A     
Haven't those people suffered enough?

Apparently they're not suffering anymore because Obama went golfing. Things *must* be back to normal, right?

/only if you're a democrat

11 Nov 2012 10:50 AM
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thamike     

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Wouldn't it be easier just to stick them directly in the toilet?


Easier, but less satisfying. Hot pocket shiats are like justice.

11 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
Hot Pockets should be a Controlled Substance

11 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
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Your Average Witty Fark User     

thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.


Only if you're a goddamned idiot.

11 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
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exxxcite     
How has this not been posted yet? Gotta heat it up to eat it up!

Pocket Like It's Hot - Snoop, DeStorm & Andy Milonakis

11 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
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Igor Jakovsky    [TotalFark]  

nekom: This is most definitely true of the barbeque variety.


I always poked holes in them with a fork to ventilate them before eating. Yeah the BBQ ones are among the worst do burning you.

11 Nov 2012 12:18 PM
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Whatthefark     
So this act of kindness is in response to a couple of tweets someone saw? Heck, next time they should tweet that they are out of whiskey and fresh hookers.

/The trick to Hot Pockets is to undercook them by fifteen seconds, then let them rest for a minute and finish cooking on their own.

11 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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greggm59     
Hot Pockets suck so much that Ore-Ida Bagel Bites taste like gourmet food in comparison.

/Bagel Bites are total crap

11 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
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Igor Jakovsky    [TotalFark]  

Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets


I'll never look at a barbecue hot pocket the same again.

11 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
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thamike     

Your Average Witty Fark User: thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.

Only if you're a goddamned idiot.


I'm not the one eating Hot Pockets, genius.

11 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
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Oznog     
Yeah, you wanna stock up on that microwaveable frozen food in case the power goes out.

11 Nov 2012 02:49 PM
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Harry_Seldon     

peg_leg: Are they trying to kill them?

Hot pockets suck.


I like Hot Pockets. Actually, I buy the Lean Pockets.

11 Nov 2012 11:20 PM
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