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   Because cancer, HIV, and poverty have all been cured, scientists have moved on to solve the most enduring mystery of our time and prove the existence of Sasquatch

12 Nov 2012 12:28 AM   |   5695 clicks   |   Time
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Hagenhatesyouall     
This picture is the only proof I need that they exist.


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 12:31 AM
arentol     
We discover new organisms every day. Admittedly they are usually incredibly small or very deep in the ocean or the most impassible jungle, but we still keep finding them. Who knows, maybe this will actually find something new.

12 Nov 2012 12:32 AM
Shyla     
Poverty can be cured scientifically?

12 Nov 2012 12:34 AM
Hector Remarkable     
This is absolutely ridiculous, since Bigfoot has anti-blimp-detection technology that he received from the Ant People.

12 Nov 2012 12:34 AM
Apos     
In order to achieve his goal,though, Meldrum needs to raise $300,000-plus in private donations


Good luck with that Kickstarter, buddy.

12 Nov 2012 12:34 AM
Oznog     
Actually, a lingering wildlife-studying thermal camera might find some interesting nature stuff overall. You might find thermal blips where people never go and find there's 3000 of a species believed to be endangered wandering around, but never know about.

Or it could be a complete waste of time. You never know.

Provided your tech is good. In truth thermal cameras do have limitations. Blimps can't handle tough weather conditions either, and are really difficult to bring home and hangar, especially on short notice. Storm coming in, well, it'll take 3 hours to bring the blimp home, if the wind is already blowing by then it'll be impossible to land, and it could be forced down and destroyed if left in the storm. The US Navy tried blimps in the 30's, both of them (Macon and Akron) were destroyed by storms.

12 Nov 2012 12:35 AM
mc_madness     
bigfootresearchuk.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 12:36 AM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
Meldrum is kind of a joke in the bigfoot community.

12 Nov 2012 12:37 AM
gingerjet     

arentol: We discover new organisms every day. Admittedly they are usually incredibly small or very deep in the ocean or the most impassible jungle, but we still keep finding them. Who knows, maybe this will actually find something new.


A new organism in the deepest depths of the ocean or a small monkey discovered in the impassible jungle still isn't an 8 foot tall walking monkey that only drunk stupid people have claimed seeing.

12 Nov 2012 12:38 AM
OddLlama     
There are two kinds of people; those who believe I'm sasquatch, and those who live on earth.

12 Nov 2012 12:39 AM
MyNameIsMofuga     
I watched the Zapruder film life 200 times and I still don't see any farking bigfoot.

12 Nov 2012 12:40 AM
mediablitz    [TotalFark]  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Meldrum is kind of a joke in the bigfoot community.


I laughed pretty hard at this.

Well done.

12 Nov 2012 12:40 AM
taurusowner     
The research probably won't find bigfoot, but I bet it will find something very neat and unknown. Even now, there's a ton of stuff out there we have no idea about. Wasn't there a fark article last year about some expedition finding a bunch of new species, like some blue spider or something?

12 Nov 2012 12:40 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
Bunk! Bunk, I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up!

12 Nov 2012 12:41 AM
Manfred J. Hattan     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Meldrum is kind of a joke in the bigfoot community.


A story about a guy who is a joke among people who are themselves jokes and yet Time wonders why their relevance goes down a little every year. I wonder how long until they have to go the Newsweek route and at least stop killing trees to distribute their useless claptrap.

12 Nov 2012 12:42 AM
fusillade762    [TotalFark]  
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here!

12 Nov 2012 12:42 AM
TomD9938     
FTA : There's two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe Bigfoot is real, and those who don't.

There must be some Bigfoot agnostics out there as well.

So there are three kinds of people in the world.

12 Nov 2012 12:42 AM
OddLlama     

taurusowner: The research probably won't find bigfoot, but I bet it will find something very neat and unknown. Even now, there's a ton of stuff out there we have no idea about. Wasn't there a fark article last year about some expedition finding a bunch of new species, like some blue spider or something?


Yes, because a spider is just like finding an 8 foot tall biped.

12 Nov 2012 12:43 AM
AssAsInAssassin     
How much squash has Sasquatch squashed, if Sasquatch has squashed squash?

12 Nov 2012 12:43 AM
Manfred J. Hattan     

taurusowner: The research probably won't find bigfoot, but I bet it will find something very neat and unknown. Even now, there's a ton of stuff out there we have no idea about. Wasn't there a fark article last year about some expedition finding a bunch of new species, like some blue spider or something?


With the kind of thermal camera one can afford with the leftovers of $300K after building a blimp? They're not going to discover shait. They're going to find some unexplained orange streaks (or whatever color they use to designate heat) and claim that they're too big/too hot/too cool/moving too fast/whatever to be anything other than bigfoot. I guarantee it.

12 Nov 2012 12:46 AM
RayD8     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Meldrum is kind of a joke in the bigfoot community.


This is funny all on its own.

Imagine being ridiculed by such a community.

12 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
Coelacanth     
As the resident cryptozoologist here, I'd like to say one thing: THERE'S NO FARKING BIGFOOT!

/So many other possibilities out there, and this hairy SOB gets all the attention (and grants).

12 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
quatchi    [TotalFark]  
I'm over here, guys.

Yeesh.

How hard was that?

12 Nov 2012 12:49 AM
dark side of the moon    [TotalFark]  

fusillade762: I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here!


Too funny.

12 Nov 2012 12:52 AM
skinink     

"Goony goo goo." 


www.examiner.comView Full Size


12 Nov 2012 12:52 AM
Hector Remarkable     
In the end they shoot him. But he teaches us about things.

12 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
Cpl.D    [TotalFark]  
If Bigfoot was out there, something that big would need thousands and thousands of caloric intake per day just to survive. A breeding population of bigfoot would leave a huge dent on the local ecology. Note the severe lack of "what out there is eating all this stuff?" stories.

12 Nov 2012 12:54 AM
Cpl.D    [TotalFark]  
I have a hypothesis about 'footers, kooks, and other pseudo-scientists.

I think it's an issue with wanting to be respected. These kooks see the respect actual scientists and doctors get, and they crave it. They want it badly. But not badly enough to do the years and years of hard work to actually get to that level. They want the respect, but they're lazy.

So they become kooks. Any idiot can become a "bigfoot expert". You watch some blurry bigfoot videos, you learn how to make your own plaster casts, ensure you can't properly identify animal hair, join footer boards on the 'net, and print out a GED in bigfoot expertise. Boom, done. You're now a bigfoot expert. You've found the shortest pillar to climb, and when you get to the top, you get to bask in the applause of the very limited bigfoot believer crowd. It's just a shame you'll never contribute anything worthwhile, other than a footnote in historical texts about cults.

12 Nov 2012 12:59 AM
Kali-Yuga     
images.starpulse.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 12:59 AM
2 Replies     
I know it's a joke, but I've met someone who made similar statements and was 100% serious.
They failed to understand that being a "scientist" is a extremely vague title, and just because someone is a professional in one scientific field doesn't mean he/she could work in another.
It was a surreal moment, that when they expressed that they thought I as (computer) scientist should spend time focusing on curing cancer. I suspect the mindset isn't unique.
It took a while for them to understand that not all scientists are in a field even remotely capable of assisting in creating a cure, so getting upset that any scientist chooses to research an unrelated field is pretty pointless and immature.

12 Nov 2012 01:02 AM
AssAsInAssassin     

Cpl.D: I have a hypothesis about 'footers, kooks, and other pseudo-scientists.

I think it's an issue with wanting to be respected. These kooks see the respect actual scientists and doctors get, and they crave it. They want it badly. But not badly enough to do the years and years of hard work to actually get to that level. They want the respect, but they're lazy.

So they become kooks. Any idiot can become a "bigfoot expert". You watch some blurry bigfoot videos, you learn how to make your own plaster casts, ensure you can't properly identify animal hair, join footer boards on the 'net, and print out a GED in bigfoot expertise. Boom, done. You're now a bigfoot expert. You've found the shortest pillar to climb, and when you get to the top, you get to bask in the applause of the very limited bigfoot believer crowd. It's just a shame you'll never contribute anything worthwhile, other than a footnote in historical texts about cults.


The retirement and health benefits are pretty sweet, though. Also, you can't beat the hours.

12 Nov 2012 01:04 AM
AssAsInAssassin     

2 Replies: I know it's a joke, but I've met someone who made similar statements and was 100% serious.
They failed to understand that being a "scientist" is a extremely vague title, and just because someone is a professional in one scientific field doesn't mean he/she could work in another.
It was a surreal moment, that when they expressed that they thought I as (computer) scientist should spend time focusing on curing cancer. I suspect the mindset isn't unique.
It took a while for them to understand that not all scientists are in a field even remotely capable of assisting in creating a cure, so getting upset that any scientist chooses to research an unrelated field is pretty pointless and immature.


Say "hi" to your mom for me.

12 Nov 2012 01:05 AM
Don't Lag Me Bro     
I hate to rain on the Fark tagline, but HIV IS almost cured.
Oh, Canada....

12 Nov 2012 01:06 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

Coelacanth: As the resident cryptozoologist here, I'd like to say one thing: THERE'S NO FARKING BIGFOOT!

/So many other possibilities out there, and this hairy SOB gets all the attention (and grants).


It's true. The only sort of pro- or crypto-zoologist I can think of is yourself.

12 Nov 2012 01:07 AM
Feral_and_Preposterous     
So anthropologists should be spending their time trying to cure cancer and AIDS? I wouldn't want to be on one of those drug trials. Also: scientists are supposed to be curing poverty? I think scientists should focus on curing subby's twitishness. Still, I doubt we should be enlisting anthropologists for that.

I hope you be trollin', yo, otherwise you might ought to go get fresh with a carrot or something.

12 Nov 2012 01:09 AM
Shyla     
I once asked a Bigfoot nut how come no skeletons had ever been found. He said "they are cannibals."
That's pretty much when I gave up. You honestly believe you know enough about them to know they are cannibals but can't prove they exist? Yea, ok.

That's like that Finding Bigfoot show on Animal Planet. The hoakiest show known to man. Every single thing that happens they say "Bigfoots are known to do that" or "that is exactly what Bigfoot does" - like they know so much about an animal that has never been seen, caught, studied, etc.

Phooey.

12 Nov 2012 01:12 AM
Satanic_Hamster     
I, for one, can't believe that Obama has reassigned all the scientists working on cancer, HIV, and poverty to Bigfoot research. Hope and change indeed.

12 Nov 2012 01:13 AM
fat boy     
I do think there's a Squatch in these woods...

12 Nov 2012 01:15 AM
Feral_and_Preposterous     

fusillade762: I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here!


You ought to at least give credit where it's due. Click for Mitch.

12 Nov 2012 01:16 AM
BoxOfBees     

Satanic_Hamster: I, for one, can't believe that Obama has reassigned all the scientists working on cancer, HIV, and poverty to Bigfoot research. Hope and change indeed.


It's ridiculous. Only the libtards would waste so much taxpayer money on such bunk. I hope Senator Coburn puts this in the waste book for next year.

12 Nov 2012 01:18 AM
Captain Steroid    [TotalFark]  
FTA: Barnes pitched the idea to Meldrum and the two are now collaborating on what they've called the Falcon Project - a remote-controlled airship they hope will take flight next spring, sweeping remote wilderness areas for proof of Bigfoot's existence.

Find Bigfoot with the Hindenburg? My GOD, it's BRILLIANT! o.o

12 Nov 2012 01:19 AM
Hector Remarkable     
And, rather ironically, it turns out his feet are very, very small.

12 Nov 2012 01:21 AM
Ed Grubermann    [TotalFark]  
Yeah, good luck with that. You might want to ask yourself what bigfoot evolved from before wasting money.

12 Nov 2012 01:21 AM
lstywnch     

Shyla: Every single thing that happens they say "Bigfoots are known to do that" or "that is exactly what Bigfoot does" - like they know so much about an animal that has never been seen, caught, studied, etc.


My personal favorite, "That's classic bigfoot mating behavior!"

12 Nov 2012 01:22 AM
jaerik     
Because there is only one generic pool of "scientists" in the world, and clearly those looking for Sasquatch would be otherwise fully productive oncologists if just given the chance.

12 Nov 2012 01:28 AM
red5ish     
img204.imageshack.usView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 01:29 AM
Hiro-ACiD     
Everybody knows Steve Austin chased the last Sasquatch back on to its UFO, where it promptly flew back to the stars..
farm5.static.flickr.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 01:31 AM
mutterfark    [TotalFark]  
Will they also have an army of dogs with talking collars whilst they track the mysterious beasts?

12 Nov 2012 01:34 AM
ArcadianRefugee     

Hector Remarkable: This is absolutely ridiculous, since Bigfoot has anti-blimp-detection technology that he received from the Ant People.


fusillade762: I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.


And there ya go.

12 Nov 2012 01:36 AM
that bosnian sniper     
i721.photobucket.comView Full Size

Not amused.

12 Nov 2012 01:36 AM
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