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   Bad news: Researchers confirm size does matter. Good news: But only to some women and some types of orgasms: Best news: Your hand couldn't care less

12 Nov 2012 11:28 AM   |   12712 clicks   |   Daily Mail
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Jon iz teh kewl     
images2.makefive.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 11:29 AM
kiwimoogle84    [TotalFark]  
It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.

12 Nov 2012 11:30 AM
Martin Silenus     
From the institute of NO SH*T, SHERLOCK.

12 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
steklo     
This is why I only have sex with short girls.

12 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
Icetech3     
Why would i give a shiat anyway... i get off... fark it...

12 Nov 2012 11:32 AM
Tat'dGreaser     
So really it's not the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean, it's really the size of the ocean that the boat is in?

12 Nov 2012 11:32 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.

12 Nov 2012 11:32 AM
Martin Silenus     

kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.


Girth is a variable that makes or breaks this statement.

12 Nov 2012 11:33 AM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
www.citybeat.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 11:33 AM
cgraves67    [TotalFark]  
Is this where we disagree with the article and boast about our sexual prowess?

Because I like to think of myself as a multi-talented lover. If your only love-tool is your dick, you're missing out on several opportunities to give her multiple orgasms.

12 Nov 2012 11:35 AM
Nhojwolfe     
so they went around asking alot of girls in todays sex craved enviroment.

//Yeah real scientific there lou

12 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
DrPainMD    [TotalFark]  

AverageAmericanGuy: Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.


5.1 inches? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! If that's all I had I'd become a monk.

12 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
david_gaithersburg     

AverageAmericanGuy: Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.

.
Interesting, I don't look Congolese.

12 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
dopekitty74     
Length isn't the deciding factor, it's girth, though a minimum length of 5 inches is required in most cases for me. The fuller you feel, the better the sex. Clitoral orgasms are for when i'm alone

12 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
StaleCoffee     
While I'm sure size does matter I don't know how a survey counts as standalone research.

"Do you like big dick? A) Yes B) No C) It's a good size"

12 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
wambu     
Meh. Flawed study since it did not address girth.

/amiright Farkettes?

12 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
KierzanDax     

steklo: This is why I only have sex with short girls.


This is why I only have sex with girls who have short vaginas.

And goats. Because, man, goats just don't give a fark.

12 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
Twilight Farkle    [TotalFark]  

TFA: "Women are not only be able to orgasm from both vaginal and clitoral stimulation,"


25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

 


I'm sorry, Messrs. Gayle and Jones, but the diagnosis is incontrovertible.


12 Nov 2012 11:38 AM
zelachang     
What a stupid farking article.

"Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of the West of Scotland who conducted the research asked a sample of 323 women about previous sexual encounters.

They were asked about their recent sexual behaviors as well as how important penile-vaginal intercourse and other sex acts were to them. They were also asked whether penis length influenced their ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation."


This is why no one takes psychologists seriously. Herp derp lets just use self report data. A better study would be to give women randomly sized dildos, tell em to get off in a room and measure how long it takes/how many orgasms but shiat I guess that costs money which no one in the psych department has.

12 Nov 2012 11:40 AM
ferretman    [TotalFark]  
This does not matter for we all know the truth...THE FEMALE ORGASM IS A MYTH!

12 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
StaleCoffee     

zelachang: What a stupid farking article.

"Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of the West of Scotland who conducted the research asked a sample of 323 women about previous sexual encounters.

They were asked about their recent sexual behaviors as well as how important penile-vaginal intercourse and other sex acts were to them. They were also asked whether penis length influenced their ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation."

This is why no one takes psychologists seriously. Herp derp lets just use self report data. A better study would be to give women randomly sized dildos, tell em to get off in a room and measure how long it takes/how many orgasms but shiat I guess that costs money which no one in the psych department has.


I will donate money to this kickstarter research program.

12 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
jso2897     
Really? The average is only 5.8"? Cool. :)

12 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
nmemkha     
Why is their such obsession over penis size, but no one gives a hoot about vagina tightness?

I've encountered some bigger than my first apartment.

12 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
MoronLessOff     

kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it.


I use mine as a drink mixer. Am I doing it right?

12 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     
I have a pretty small penis, but lately the warts have really helped add some extra girth and "texture".

12 Nov 2012 11:42 AM
H31N0US     
Meh. I guess I am slightly longer than average for a Brit (though I am American). One thing I've learned is that just about every girl (who is capable of orgasm) I've ever been with has that one (or maybe two) position that just works for them. You don't have to have a huge dick. Unless that's the only thing the girl cares about, in which case your best strategy is to make the most of it then take off before she dumps you for the bbd that will inevitable come along.

Or, get married, rendering the entire issue moot.

12 Nov 2012 11:43 AM
Tat'dGreaser     

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I have a pretty small penis, but lately the warts have really helped add some extra girth and "texture".


They're called love speed bumps

12 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
GeekIsGood     

zelachang: This is why no one takes psychologists seriously. Herp derp lets just use self report data. A better study would be to give women randomly sized dildos, tell em to get off in a room and measure how long it takes/how many orgasms but shiat I guess that costs money which no one in the psych department has.


All the researchers would have to do would be to get the subjects to sign a consent form, then do the research in collaberation with a porn site. Funding problem solved.

12 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
Martin Silenus     

nmemkha: Why is their such obsession over penis size, but no one gives a hoot about vagina tightness?

I've encountered some bigger than my first apartment.


Which, incidentally, was also a vagina.

12 Nov 2012 11:44 AM
Fark Reddit or bust     
Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?

12 Nov 2012 11:45 AM
Martin Silenus     

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


Dude, it's right there.

12 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
signaljammer     
Dystopic schmucks. . .

12 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
Jim from Saint Paul     
Wait, you're saying women are difficult and picky?

Thank you science.

/I figure I am the right size if the Mrs says so
//if she's lying then that's her loss aint it?

12 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
kliq     
The average size is 5.8 inches? No wonder most of you losers are alone.

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

12 Nov 2012 11:47 AM
nmemkha     

Martin Silenus: nmemkha: Why is their such obsession over penis size, but no one gives a hoot about vagina tightness?

I've encountered some bigger than my first apartment.

Which, incidentally, was also a vagina.


Yeah I had such an awesome man cave ... even had a pool table! You had to hold the sticks are weird angles, but it worked.

12 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
Quaker     

12 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom     

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


You gotta stop dating Somolians, man.

12 Nov 2012 11:48 AM
zelachang     

GeekIsGood: zelachang: This is why no one takes psychologists seriously. Herp derp lets just use self report data. A better study would be to give women randomly sized dildos, tell em to get off in a room and measure how long it takes/how many orgasms but shiat I guess that costs money which no one in the psych department has.

All the researchers would have to do would be to get the subjects to sign a consent form, then do the research in collaberation with a porn site. Funding problem solved.


While one side of me wholly supports this idea the other side is worried of a sample bias. But that side is stupid.

12 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
Jim from Saint Paul     

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


doyoulikelikeme.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


*Feels your pain*

12 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
MakerGrey     
Thanks Daily Mail!

12 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
Jim from Saint Paul     

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


OR JOKE #2:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.

12 Nov 2012 11:51 AM
kiwimoogle84    [TotalFark]  

Martin Silenus: kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.

Girth is a variable that makes or breaks this statement.


Untrue. I've had very sexually satisfying relationships with men who severely lacked in the penile department but could have been a violinist in another life.

And moronlessoff, you stir your shots? :P

/I keed I keed

12 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
your average maint. man     
i guess i need to change my fark handle to: "your above average maint. man"

12 Nov 2012 11:52 AM
Joce678     

Jim from Saint Paul: Wait, you're saying women are difficult and picky?


No. What they missed is that women come in different, um, "capacities".

It's the last great taboo of human sexuality: Some women need 12 inches length and the thickness of a coke can to even reach both sides at the same time.

So remember... whenever a woman says, "I prefer big ones", she's really saying she has a huge, cavernous, baby bucket down there. Remember to strap a plank across your ass if you decide you want to go for it.

12 Nov 2012 11:53 AM
jdredd     
some chicks just need to be slipped the ol pringles can..

12 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
Fark Reddit or bust     

Jim from Saint Paul: Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?

OR JOKE #2:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.


Don't look directly into their eyes. Don't take your eyes off of it. And most important of all: DON'T BLINK.

12 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
Martin Silenus     

kiwimoogle84: Martin Silenus: kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.

Girth is a variable that makes or breaks this statement.

Untrue. I've had very sexually satisfying relationships with men who severely lacked in the penile department but could have been a violinist in another life.

And moronlessoff, you stir your shots? :P

/I keed I keed


It's certainly not unheard-of. Girl I used to know was engaged to a man with a micropenis. An actual, honest-to-God micropenis.

But sample 100 women and I'm pretty sure a majority won't be satisfied with men who have tiny penises.

12 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
Martin Silenus     

Jim from Saint Paul: Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?

OR JOKE #2:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.


To paraphrase Patton Oswalt: I would crawl inside her like a tauntaun.

12 Nov 2012 11:57 AM
kiwimoogle84    [TotalFark]  

Joce678: Jim from Saint Paul: Wait, you're saying women are difficult and picky?


No. What they missed is that women come in different, um, "capacities".

It's the last great taboo of human sexuality: Some women need 12 inches length and the thickness of a coke can to even reach both sides at the same time.

So remember... whenever a woman says, "I prefer big ones", she's really saying she has a huge, cavernous, baby bucket down there. Remember to strap a plank across your ass if you decide you want to go for it.


Well, that's true to an extent. Being tall and muscular I get that a lot "you must need a ten inch black man to satisfy you". But you forget they expand. Just because I can TAKE it, doesn't mean I NEED it. Average is fine. I prefer my cervix unskewered.

12 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
kiwimoogle84    [TotalFark]  

Martin Silenus: kiwimoogle84: Martin Silenus: kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.

Girth is a variable that makes or breaks this statement.

Untrue. I've had very sexually satisfying relationships with men who severely lacked in the penile department but could have been a violinist in another life.

And moronlessoff, you stir your shots? :P

/I keed I keed

It's certainly not unheard-of. Girl I used to know was engaged to a man with a micropenis. An actual, honest-to-God micropenis.

But sample 100 women and I'm pretty sure a majority won't be satisfied with men who have tiny penises.


Under average is different than TINY.

12 Nov 2012 11:58 AM
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