Second week of November and we're pulling headlines from the year and getting them organized now. Remember, the cutoff for this year's headlines ends on November 30. If you've been wanting to get a good headline in before the deadline, you're running out of daylight.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-11-04 to Sat 2012-11-09:

  Mayor urges citizens to observe X-Ray Week. I, for one, applaud more transparency in government    

  Legoland roller coaster gets stuck at the top of a slope in the middle of a storm. Riders shiat bricks    

  Artist spends 400 man hours gluing 250,000 pennies to the floor of her new gallery. Is now completely out of common cents    

  Wedding ceremony is ruined by a naked flasher. Sure, it's not funny at this moment, but twenty-five years from now it's going to be a family tradition to watch the video on your anniversary (SFW)    

  Donkey sex suspect wants his animal back. Lawyer to appeal under "Don't ass, don't tell"    

  A rogue man-eating leopard has devoured 15 villagers in Nepal, is open to suggestions on closing out the meal with either tea, espresso or a port    

  Humans first made projectile weapons 71,000 years ago, immediately started arguing over whether flung stones killed people or big hairy people killed people    

  California voters ease the state's "3 Strikes And You're Out" law, sending Los Angeles Dodger hitters into an embarrassing premature celebration    

  Meshing of surnames is the latest trend among numerous newlywed couples, with the exception of Mr Curry and Ms Hunt    

  Menstrual cycle affects asthma, AMONG OTHER THINGS    

  CIA Director David Petraeus resigns after successfully completing a surge on someone other than his wife    


Sports:

  Oakland A's re-sign Bartolo Colon, max out their quota of bacon for season    

  Joker out at University of Kentucky after loss to Vandy. Two-Face still coaching at Alabama    

  Michael Vick blames the media for speculation he might be benched, despite the fact that in the first six games he's thrown eight interceptions lost five fumbles, and bitten two mailmen    


Geek:

  First Orcish-American candidate elected to Maine State Senate, living up to her campaign slogan of "Lok'tar ogar"    

  Geologists say that east coast earthquakes travel further and do more damage than previously thought. Scientists point to the one on election night that was felt by Republicans from Ohio to Florida    

  Neuroscientists find human brains can make fast decisions, and accurate decisions - but not at the same time. Quick, let's greenlight this    


Entertainment:

  Courtney Love assures everyone a Kurt Cobain musical won't happen, making it the first time Cobain ever dodged a bullet    

  Kelly Brook: "I distract people with my big boo    

  Election night TV ratings were down from 2008, as Republican viewers grow tired of seeing reruns    


Politics:

  Maryland is now a merry land where two Marys can marry    

  After election victory, Arpaio says he wants to meet with Latinos, Admiral Ackbar    

  Tea party Congressman Allen West demands recount, attention    


Business:

  Netflix creates poison pill to fend off Icahn takeover, boosts alchemy two levels    

  Hurricane gas shortage in New York prompts Craigslist ads asking to trade a little bit of Ethel for a little bit of Ethyl    

  Porn industry threatens to leave Los Angeles after mandate on condoms. Directors immediately begin scouting areas with excess numbers of pool boys and pizza deliverers