If it's so great, why are you trying to convince me to join when clearly I'm not interested?

Oh, and:

And nothing of value was lost.

stalking other people is more valuable than all 27 of those combined.

I'm willing to bet that only two of those things you really can't do without a facebook account -- getting a job at facebook and getting a facebook email address.

That entire list is like saying it's impossible to take a photograph without a phone anymore.

13. Poke someone in an acceptable manner

Back in my day, we threw sheep at each other and we liked it!

SlothB77: stalking other people is more valuable than all 27 of those combined.

a lot of the list did include stalking-like behavior

28. Rub one out to sexy pictures of friends of friends because they can't figure out how to make settings private

/Don't judge me

14. Talk to people against their will

Has this guy never heard of an elevator?

/what?

This is part of the reason why I don't face, unless in person, and then you can see my ugly mug all you want, for I'll be the one smilin' at ya.

*)

mamoru: 14. Talk to people against their will

Has this guy never heard of an elevator?

/what?

P.S. You are talked to against your will when you wake up.

My grandparents are dead. Nice try, Facebook.

28. Raise fake sheep and corn

29. Get spammed with "friend" requests

30. Piss away hours posting the intimate and mundane minutiae of your day to day existence for the benefit of other people who do the same thing, despite that neither they, nor you, read it or give a sh*t.

GAT_00: 13. Poke someone in an acceptable manner

Back in my day, we threw sheep at each other and we liked it!

Now tell me about the time the virtual bank forclosed on your virtual farm, grandpa.

/ I keed, I keed

Pretty much every farking thing on that list, I'm like, "so farking what?"

Sites that co-opt FB for commenting are run by lamers on behalf of morons for the benefit of idiots.

Real sites know how to write trollproofing.

28) Watch Mitt Romney's "Likes" go down.

At these prices, I am practically giving these Nazi memorabilia away!

Somehow, even though I don't have an account, I think I'll find the strength to carry on.

How is it legal for potential employers, especially government agencies, to require you to surrender your facebook login information when that will lead to the very same information they are prohibited from asking directly? I'm talking age, marital status, political affiliation, etc. That is automatically out-of-bounds, so why isn't requiring full access to your facebook account?

Transubstantive: How is it legal for potential employers, especially government agencies, to require you to surrender your facebook login information when that will lead to the very same information they are prohibited from asking directly? I'm talking age, marital status, political affiliation, etc. That is automatically out-of-bounds, so why isn't requiring full access to your facebook account?

Doublethink.

*)

Transubstantive: How is it legal for potential employers, especially government agencies, to require you to surrender your facebook login information when that will lead to the very same information they are prohibited from asking directly? I'm talking age, marital status, political affiliation, etc. That is automatically out-of-bounds, so why isn't requiring full access to your facebook account?


It is.

Transubstantive: How is it legal for potential employers, especially government agencies, to require you to surrender your facebook login information when that will lead to the very same information they are prohibited from asking directly? I'm talking age, marital status, political affiliation, etc. That is automatically out-of-bounds, so why isn't requiring full access to your facebook account?

I remember seeing something about a court case somewhere about that recently, basicly the answer is that you cannot require a potential employee to surrender login information for anything.

13. Poke someone in an acceptable manner.

Umm... my friends and I use pokes as a form of greeting when we get together IN PERSON. It's so much more fun when the ticklish friend shows up, we usually torture her until the movie starts.

TheTurtle: Pretty much every farking thing on that list, I'm like, "so farking what?"

Sites that co-opt FB for commenting are run by lamers on behalf of morons for the benefit of idiots.

Real sites know how to write trollproofing.

I've just started boycotting sites/businesses that want facebook likes. I do not now nor will I ever have a desire to put my face in their book.

I don't have facebook and I can do almost all of those damn things you farking tools.

"Publicly prove that you are smarter than your friends"

I do that by not having a Facebook.

This list was almost as big a pile of horseshiat as FB is.

/oops, don't have a Facebook, sure hope I'm able to post this comment!

radarlove: "Publicly prove that you are smarter than your friends"

I do that by not having a Facebook.

This list was almost as big a pile of horseshiat as FB is.

/oops, don't have a Facebook, sure hope I'm able to post this comment!

this this this and so much more this. "I can't find you on facebook" "I know, I don't really want to talk to idiots who rely on facebook"

I like how the list has a few points but then quickly devolves into "you can't use Facebook apps" for the other 12 or so posts.

bunner: 28. Raise fake sheep and corn

29. Get spammed with "friend" requests

30. Piss away hours posting the intimate and mundane minutiae of your day to day existence for the benefit of other people who do the same thing, despite that neither they, nor you, read it or give a sh*t.

As for 28, Harvest Moon is better.

"Why don't you have a facebook page??!!1!!"

"I think it's a bullsh*t attention whore site, utterly devoid of use or meaning to anyone other than the data miners running the place, and if I wanted my personal information to be a product, I'd put it in envelopes and sell it at a consignment shop."

"U R jus teh 0LD!"

"Yeahhhhhhhh, sure hon. OK."

"24. Get your lost wallet returned"

Some people would use the address on an ID if it was there.

You can also use www.spokeo.com, public records or signing up for random crap will put your name all over the net

get invited to shiat you don't care about by people you never talk to.

28. Get arrested, fired from your job, spied on by Law Enforcement and Private Investigators!

Get a job at a public agency

Earlier this year reports surfaced of public agencies requiring applicants to submit their Facebook log-in and password. If you don't have one at all, it could raise a few eyebrows.

What the fark? Really, what the ever-living fark?! Why would anyone even CONSIDER giving complete strangers such information??? And what business is it what you look at, do, or post in your off-time? If you're into Paula Deen and Chevy worship, want to make hateful posts about your boss, or be a flaming idiot, who are you hurting? Ok you're hurting everyone who reads your crap, but that's voluntary self-abuse on the reader's side.

Here's an offer for you Farkers: Give me your login and password, and I will give you a rock-solid defense against trolling. You can say "Duck_of_Doom posted that, not me!" All the fun of a troll alt, no need to create one. EIP.

/not serious

19. Force your religious beliefs on others.

Have you not been to a state/county fair, or gone to the mall in the last 8 years?

I mean, if you really need to know what style burrito some bored secretary in NJ bought for lunch, today, that's what Twitter is for. Bonus - No pictures of her kids refrigerator art.

29. Ignore gifts of virtual livestock and vegetables

What about 27 things that you DON"T need FaceBook for?
Please feel free to add to this list:

1. Have a life
2. Not piss off all your friends by aimlessly bombarding them with non-important mental spewings.
3. Not be tracked by FB and other morons.
4. Not have your personal information milked/ sold to other marketing assholes.
5. Suffer through endless advertising.
6. Be reminded by how fat, old, ugly, stupid your friends are becoming (or yourself).
etc., etc.

#13 brings back memories of the 80s, and hearing folks holler "hey finger me about a party later this week!" in the halls ...

Closing in.

#24 Get your lost wallet returned.

I was biking and I spotted a woman's wallet on the shoulder of the road. Turned around picked it up and it was filled with credit cards and cash. Long story short, I turned it into a Sheriff's deputy on my ride home and then when I got home found the owner on Facebook. She wasn't listed in the phone book. I messaged her to tell her I found her wallet and turned it in and the Sheriff had it. Never heard from the ungrateful biatch. Messaged her a week later to see if she got it. No response. Didn't want a reward, just a farking thank you .

/I'm looking at you Tami Orr

i find joy in learning of Farkers who do not, have not and will not FB. you are the better people, and i'm glad to anonymously know you.

looking forward to a post by someone who is unable to read the linky on their iPhone, complains about it. god knows i love those posts too.

I seem to be getting by without those 27 things.

Okay, after reading that list, I've been able to do pretty much all of those things prior to discovering Facebook. Heck, I think I was connecting with the older generations online before Facebook existed. I was amazed to see how many senior citizens were playing some of the really old online games like The Realm. And most of us had our WinAmp telling our IRC client what songs we were listening to.

/no, I'm not that old, but get off my lawn anyway

I have two, one with a fake name, which is the one i actively use and is not appropriate for potential employers to surf, and another which is squeaky clean, but has enough friends and been around for a few months. I go there sporadically, like and share a thing or two, then leave again

Bucky Katt: I seem to be getting by without those 27 things.

Cute.

Ever-watchful, eh?

atch this.

Brought to to you by the "People Desperately Trying to Keep Facebook Relevant Council"

Just talk to people, assholes.

The more my Wife talks about her facebook, the more it validates my hatred of the general population.

SERVES NO PURPOSE

Am I the only person who read this as satire?