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   Petition to deport everyone that signed a petition to withdraw their state from The United States of America

13 Nov 2012 09:36 AM   |   15256 clicks   |   White House
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Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  
1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

13 Nov 2012 03:01 AM
alaric3    [TotalFark]  
An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.

13 Nov 2012 03:10 AM
cman    [TotalFark]  

Bathia_Mapes:
2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Indeedy this

13 Nov 2012 03:15 AM
propasaurus    [TotalFark]  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.

13 Nov 2012 03:27 AM
ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.


I like your positive spin and can-do attitude.

13 Nov 2012 03:34 AM
Bathia_Mapes    [TotalFark]  

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


i819.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 03:41 AM
violentsalvation    [TotalFark]  
I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.

13 Nov 2012 03:45 AM
pecosdave     

propasaurus: 1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.


We can move the capital back to Gonzalez, or Houston, dig up Austin, turn it upside down, replant.

13 Nov 2012 03:52 AM
propasaurus    [TotalFark]  

violentsalvation: I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.


Term III


/I've said too much

13 Nov 2012 03:56 AM
Slaxl     
All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

13 Nov 2012 04:11 AM
Krymson Tyde     

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.

13 Nov 2012 05:46 AM
Bontesla     

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


At what point does advocating for separation become treason?

13 Nov 2012 06:28 AM
PC LOAD LETTER    [TotalFark]  

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.


Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.

13 Nov 2012 08:15 AM
doyner    [TotalFark]  
Begun, the petition wars have.

13 Nov 2012 08:16 AM
Krymson Tyde     

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


I'm okay with that. The important thing is they have enough room and can be isolated. Will there be enough space there or will they need some of New Mexico as well?

13 Nov 2012 08:32 AM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
Well, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen...

13 Nov 2012 08:36 AM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.

13 Nov 2012 08:37 AM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
Ok, now I want to create a petition. "Petition to Deport Everyone Who Signed a Petition to Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America".

/it's turtles all the farking way down, biatches

13 Nov 2012 08:40 AM
Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer    [TotalFark]  
I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.

13 Nov 2012 08:46 AM
SilentStrider    [TotalFark]  
I'm going to sign my own petition, with blackjack, and hookers.


Forget the oetition.

13 Nov 2012 08:50 AM
SilentStrider    [TotalFark]  
PETITION

Damn IPad leyboard!

13 Nov 2012 08:51 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  
OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.

13 Nov 2012 09:01 AM
GAT_00     
I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.

13 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
sammyk    [TotalFark]  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.

13 Nov 2012 09:17 AM
doyner    [TotalFark]  
A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...

13 Nov 2012 09:27 AM
Slaxl     

sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.


I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.

13 Nov 2012 09:28 AM
doyner    [TotalFark]  

Slaxl: I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


The more you know

13 Nov 2012 09:35 AM
HellRaisingHoosier     

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.



You're not invited to any of my house parties Ms. Debbie Downer.

13 Nov 2012 09:37 AM
vernonFL    [TotalFark]  
When the Founding Fathers created the right to petition the government, I don't think they envisioned internet trolls.

13 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
Arctic Phoenix     

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.

13 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
Isn't a petition pretty much a strongly-worded letter?

13 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
Nightsweat     
Derp derp derp herp derp!

Derp? Herp Derp.

Derp!

13 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
Shaggy_C     
Ummm...Drew, are you sure you want to link directly to WhiteHouse.gov? If the link gets farked, you're going to be accused of a DoS attack against the US government. The Subby conspiracy is in full effect.

13 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
sprawl15    [TotalFark]  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guantanamo.

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Incorrect. They were advocating an unconstitutional separation of the union.

13 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
Nightsweat     

xanadian: Ok, now I want to create a petition. "Petition to Deport Everyone Who Signed a Petition to Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America".

/it's turtles all the farking way down, biatches


I'd sign all of them.

13 Nov 2012 09:40 AM
Headso    [TotalFark]  

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.


hills have eyes?
i2.listal.comView Full Size


"Now yer a real merkin!"

13 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
phrawgh     
The very definition of traitor.

13 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
EyeballKid     

xanadian: For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly.


toxichominid.comView Full Size

Well, not the land, anyway...

13 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
miscreant     

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Why not Alaska? It's not even connected to continental US.

13 Nov 2012 09:42 AM
BravadoGT    [TotalFark]  
img136.imageshack.usView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 09:43 AM
theknuckler_33     
This is silly.

13 Nov 2012 09:43 AM
evilmrsock    [TotalFark]  

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Not in a legal sense, but personal opinion wise, I'd want you to be reasonably charged with incitement to violence or espionage before upgrading it to treason.

Charging people with treason for JUST mouthing off against the state, no matter how vehemently or seriously, is one of the hallmarks of what makes a government "bad" in my view. Peacefully advocating a separatist movement is something that's either easily ignored at the ballot box, or it's something that has merit and needs to be addressed with policy one way or the other.

13 Nov 2012 09:44 AM
Satanic_Hamster     
Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.

13 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
Sock Ruh Tease     
No, don't deport them. Force them to stay in this country they hate so much because of Presidebt Fartbongo and his socialist communism. Make them suffer through every day of his four-year term until he peacefully steps down in 2017 and a new democratically-elected leader is sworn in to replace him. And tell them over and over again that they are wrong.

13 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
Leopold Stotch     
Stupidity is not treason.

"Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. " Asking if you can leave, while futile, is not treason.

Link

13 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
GameSprocket     

BravadoGT: [img136.imageshack.us image 640x352]


Came here for this. Blah blah blah.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
browntimmy     

GAT_00: I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.


Yep, you know a lot of people must have signed the Texas succession one who aren't even from there.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
Shyla     
Finally! A petition I can get behind. The US needs to buy some land in the Maldives, since they are sinking, I heard you can buy them pretty cheap, and move all those basturds there.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
Sedition, treason, whatever. Let them learn a valuable lesson. Rich, old white guys can get away with outing a CIA covert agent. The great unwashed can't get away with signing a petition.

Where's your Grand Old Party now? Hint: They're at a country club that you can't caddy at, let alone join. In other words, you have no chance at becoming a Cinderella story at Augusta. Which is nice.

/You didn't honestly think the GOP worked for you, did you? You work for the rich guys. They don't give a shiat about you individually. In this country, useful idiots abound.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
thunderbird8804     
www.brycecook.comView Full Size
 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?

13 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
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