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   Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters

13 Nov 2012 09:28 AM   |   1933 clicks   |   LA Times
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corq    [TotalFark]  
+1 Well Played, Subby.

13 Nov 2012 08:17 AM
gopher321    [TotalFark]  
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to

ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got

the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already

working on a murder case!"

13 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Nice!

/+1

13 Nov 2012 08:23 AM
Cythraul     

gopher321: A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to

ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got

the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already

working on a murder case!"


Hah!

13 Nov 2012 08:46 AM
PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
Too soon, can't do Lincoln yet...
i1079.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
rcvaughan4     
+1 subby. Best headline I've seen in a while.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
Pockafrusta     
I love me some subby... +11

13 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
devilEther     
I hope some James Holmes-type doesn't get any ideas.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
The only disappointing thing about the movie is that Spielberg downplayed Lincoln's years hunting vampires.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
mab1823     
Letterman did it.

13 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
tnpir     
[slowclap.gif]

+1

13 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
jennyz     
Too soon.

13 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
Gulper Eel    [TotalFark]  
Sic semper submagnificentbastardis.

13 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
sprawl15     

devilEther: I hope some James Holmes-type doesn't get any ideas.


Then we'd have people calling for a ban of wheellocks.

13 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     

gopher321: A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to

ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got

the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already

working on a murder case!"


it's funny cause cops are gay

13 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
phrawgh     
heard it was a big hit.

13 Nov 2012 09:34 AM
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness     

devilEther: I hope some James Holmes-type doesn't get any ideas.


John Wilkes Booth-types are free to brainstorm away, though.

13 Nov 2012 09:34 AM
Hunter_Worthington     
golf clap. bravo, Subby.

13 Nov 2012 09:44 AM
WhippingBoy     
I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor.

Can't wait for "George Washington" starring Mohammad Rahkim as George Washington.

13 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
uber humper     
I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

13 Nov 2012 09:49 AM
trivial use of my dark powers     
hahahahaha!

+1 subby

13 Nov 2012 09:50 AM
Some 'Splainin' To Do    [TotalFark]  
Best headline of the year. Great job, subby.

13 Nov 2012 09:52 AM
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness     

uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?


LOL WUT?

"The United Kingdom was officially neutral throughout the American Civil War, 1861-65. Elite opinion tended to favour the Confederacy, while public opinion tended to favour the United States. Large scale trade continued in both directions with the U.S., with the Americans shipping grain to Britain while Britain sent manufactured items and munitions. Immigration continued into the U.S. British trade with the Confederacy was limited, with a little cotton going to Britain and some munitions slipped in by numerous small blockade runners. The Confederate strategy for securing independence was largely based on the hope of military intervention by Britain and France, which never happened; intervention would have meant war with the United States."

13 Nov 2012 09:52 AM
WhippingBoy     

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

LOL WUT?

"The United Kingdom was officially neutral throughout the American Civil War, 1861-65. Elite opinion tended to favour the Confederacy, while public opinion tended to favour the United States. Large scale trade continued in both directions with the U.S., with the Americans shipping grain to Britain while Britain sent manufactured items and munitions. Immigration continued into the U.S. British trade with the Confederacy was limited, with a little cotton going to Britain and some munitions slipped in by numerous small blockade runners. The Confederate strategy for securing independence was largely based on the hope of military intervention by Britain and France, which never happened; intervention would have meant war with the United States."


HA! Good ol' US school system!

13 Nov 2012 09:54 AM
pi8you     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size


Well done, subby!

13 Nov 2012 09:56 AM
SweetSaws     
Awesome headline. I'm definitely stealing that to make myself look clever. biatches love a clever thief.

13 Nov 2012 09:57 AM
SupplySideJesus     

WhippingBoy: I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor

one of the greatest actors of our generation.

/FTFY

img689.imageshack.usView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 09:59 AM
Cubicle Jockey     

WhippingBoy: I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor.


Until 2007, Lincoln was the only person who was not in the British Empire to have a statue in Parliament Squre in London. They respect him more then several states here in the US.

13 Nov 2012 10:01 AM
WhippingBoy     

SupplySideJesus: WhippingBoy: I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor one of the greatest actors of our generation.

/FTFY

[img689.imageshack.us image 400x411]


So he's *not* British??? I'm so confused...

13 Nov 2012 10:01 AM
TheTrashcanMan     
One heck of a headline there subby.


Any one seen the movie yet?

13 Nov 2012 10:01 AM
aspenforest     
I need to see this movie like I need a hole in the head.


/Long time lurker, first time poster
//Squandered my "first time" with this nonsense

13 Nov 2012 10:03 AM
Casey Anthony     
ok, it's a fine headline. does anyone have anything else to say or will this thread be nothing but '+1 subby'?

13 Nov 2012 10:03 AM
TheSelphie     
::groan:: ...But still funny.

13 Nov 2012 10:03 AM
Billified     

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

LOL WUT?


When part of a nation attempts to forcibly defect from the rest of the nation, it is a civil war. The original nation will always refer t it as such, but if the defection nation is successful they will refer to it as a revolutionary war. Britain would view out Revolutionary War as a civil war they lost.

13 Nov 2012 10:04 AM
deadsanta     
Saw it last weekend in cambridge, daniel-day was amazing, sally field was a bit meh, and the political theatre and the actors who embody it was just interesting enough to keep me focussed through what felt like quite a long film indeed. It's worth seeing just for lewis' performance, but parts of it are worth forgetting almost immediately (like any time a non-historic african american shares screen-time with the president, the smugness can be cut with a knife.)

13 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
Inigo     
Sorry, I'm having trouble hearing over the sound of how TREACHEROUS you are.
o.onionstatic.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 10:07 AM
SupplySideJesus     

WhippingBoy: SupplySideJesus: WhippingBoy: I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor one of the greatest actors of our generation.

/FTFY

[img689.imageshack.us image 400x411]

So he's *not* British??? I'm so confused...


He could be Somalian for all I care. I can't think of anyone more suited to the role.

13 Nov 2012 10:08 AM
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness     

Billified: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

LOL WUT?


When part of a nation attempts to forcibly defect from the rest of the nation, it is a civil war. The original nation will always refer t it as such, but if the defection nation is successful they will refer to it as a revolutionary war. Britain would view out Revolutionary War as a civil war they lost.


Britain had a civil war. It ended over a century before the Revolutionary War. Suggesting that "Britain would view out *sic* Revolutionary War as a civil war they lost" and "always refer to it as such" (besides being conjecture, at best) would lead to confusion among those that actually paid attention in History class.

Citation

13 Nov 2012 10:11 AM
uber humper     
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness
WhippingBoy
Billified
 

Hahaha 

**thatsthejoke.jpg**
variation of Germans bombed Pearl Harbor

13 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
Crewmannumber6     
And he still doesn't have any black friends

13 Nov 2012 10:15 AM
LDM90     
It sucks they left out the part about going back to help Bill & Ted with their history report.

13 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
This text is now purple     

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

LOL WUT?

"The United Kingdom was officially neutral throughout the American Civil War, 1861-65. Elite opinion tended to favour the Confederacy, while public opinion tended to favour the United States. Large scale trade continued in both directions with the U.S., with the Americans shipping grain to Britain while Britain sent manufactured items and munitions. Immigration continued into the U.S. British trade with the Confederacy was limited, with a little cotton going to Britain and some munitions slipped in by numerous small blockade runners. The Confederate strategy for securing independence was largely based on the hope of military intervention by Britain and France, which never happened; intervention would have meant war with the United States."


There was that small issue of the British illegally building ships for the Confederacy. For a short period, Canada might have been lost to the USA because of that.

13 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
Hawnkee     

WhippingBoy: I find it humorous that one of the most American of American icons had to be played by a British actor.

Can't wait for "George Washington" starring Mohammad Rahkim as George Washington.


Because, unlike some other Abraham Lincolns, he can speak with an English accent.

13 Nov 2012 10:21 AM
ciberido    [TotalFark]  
Haven't seen the movie yet. No spoilers, please.

13 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness     

This text is now purple: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?

LOL WUT?

"The United Kingdom was officially neutral throughout the American Civil War, 1861-65. Elite opinion tended to favour the Confederacy, while public opinion tended to favour the United States. Large scale trade continued in both directions with the U.S., with the Americans shipping grain to Britain while Britain sent manufactured items and munitions. Immigration continued into the U.S. British trade with the Confederacy was limited, with a little cotton going to Britain and some munitions slipped in by numerous small blockade runners. The Confederate strategy for securing independence was largely based on the hope of military intervention by Britain and France, which never happened; intervention would have meant war with the United States."

There was that small issue of the British illegally building ships for the Confederacy. For a short period, Canada might have been lost to the USA because of that.


That wasn't Britain, that was a British shipyard (Cammell Laird), which wasn't owned or controlled by the crown.

That's akin to accusing the Israelis of being involved in a bank robbery because the perp worked the crowd with a Desert Eagle.

13 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
hdhale     

uber humper: I still can't believe they picked a Brit to play Lincoln.

Brittan getting it's revenge for the Civil War?


Henry Fonda wasn't available (currently pining for the fjords), and he borne a pretty striking resemblance to Lincoln as a younger man back in the day.

No, I honestly can't think of anyone else I'd want to play Abe but Daniel Day-Lewis. He has the voice nailed and bears a pretty amazing resemblance to the older Lincoln (yeah I know, makeup and prosthetics do wonders). He's a couple inches shorter at 6'2", but that's why they make shoes with lifts.

I'm looking forward to seeing this at the theater, though I also intend to make sure my security detachment has plenty of fresh coffee to drink while I'm inside.

/that's a Lincoln joke, son

13 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
Cythraul     

Inigo: Sorry, I'm having trouble hearing over the sound of how TREACHEROUS you are.
[o.onionstatic.com image 630x441]


Non-American actor a problem? He's British. It's close enough.

13 Nov 2012 10:33 AM
keypusher     

ciberido: Haven't seen the movie yet. No spoilers, please.


Ha! Lincoln dies!

/Actually, I don't know if that is in the movie or not.

13 Nov 2012 10:39 AM
Dr Dreidel     

hdhale: No, I honestly can't think of anyone else I'd want to play Abe but Daniel Day-Lewis. He has the voice nailed and bears a pretty amazing resemblance to the older Lincoln (yeah I know, makeup and prosthetics do wonders). He's a couple inches shorter at 6'2", but that's why they make shoes with lifts.


How do you know? Did someone finally unearth the long-speculated "MC Link and the Emancipators" bootleg?

13 Nov 2012 10:47 AM
bwilson27     
Spielberg? Groan. Will there be a long, sweeping intro shot down a wonderfully lit, tree-lined neighborhood street that zooms in through the open window of Lincoln's cabin just as he's being born?

13 Nov 2012 10:49 AM
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