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   Japanese Government orders safety check on all Schindler elevators in the country. If only there was some kind of document that stated where they were

13 Nov 2012 12:16 PM   |   3179 clicks   |   NHK World (Japan)
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tnpir     
Oy gevalt.

13 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
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whistleridge    [TotalFark]  
Indeed. A list, even.

13 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
Perhaps their fundamental design flaws were completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.

13 Nov 2012 10:23 AM
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BronyMedic     
A holocaust joke at 10 in the morning?

Bravo, Fark. I applaud your dedication to dark comedy.

13 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
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notmtwain     
Schindler's lifts?

13 Nov 2012 11:10 AM
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xanadian    [TotalFark]  
That reminds me.... I wonder if I left the oven on......

13 Nov 2012 11:36 AM
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MrKevvy     
That movie took place in Japan? Guess it was before the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

13 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
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RatOmeter     
They suspect the brakes, but the elevator was ascending? Were counterweights pulling it up, or what?

/Knows how hydraulic elevators work, assumes this one isn't.

13 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.


What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

13 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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aremmes     
xanadian: That reminds me.... I wonder if I left the oven on......

Does it run on gas?

13 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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TheOther     
Put on your red dress, baby

13 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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blacknite     

iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures


even faster if it were indexed.

13 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
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Mayhem of the Black Underclass     
Processing...
Processing...
Processing...

Processing...
Processing...
Processing...

Processing...
Processing...
Processing...

*smirk*

13 Nov 2012 12:23 PM
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whistleridge    [TotalFark]  

iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures


Mmm...you gotta be careful with that. First, you have disorder, then you have a list, then an array...before you know it, you have a matrix and a blue pill habit.

13 Nov 2012 12:23 PM
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gweilo8888     
Ah, Schindler's Lift.

That joke was funny when I first heard it 20 years ago.

/Fark: 1990s humor, today

13 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
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thecpt     
I work in construction and the first time I called Schindler I asked for a list. I imagine thats 50% of their calls.

13 Nov 2012 12:26 PM
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Bruxellensis     

BronyMedic: A holocaust joke at 10 in the morning?

Bravo, Fark. I applaud your dedication to dark comedy.


It was after lunch time here, so I was at my highest holocaust-joke-appreciating potential.

13 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
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Bruxellensis     
[schindler's bisque.jpg]

I can't find now, but I saw a good shoop on Something Awful several years ago that would be great for this thread.

13 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
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Harry Freakstorm    [TotalFark]  
Congratulations on the purchase of your new Schindler Elevator. We hope that you will find every need met with our state of the art vertical transportation system.

Our many very intelligent scientists have designed your elevator to include over 20 safety features that our competitors cannot imagine. Your safety is paramount in a Schindler Elevator. There are over 10 different patented safety braking systems on each unit. These systems were tested repeatedly and with many different test subjects.

Beyond the design, we also care about quality. Only the highest manufacturing standards were used to produce your elevator. Our technicians worked 18 - 20 hours a day to ensure your elevator is constructed to exacting standards. Our System Supervisors (SS) ensure that not shortcuts were taken in the manufacture of your elevator.

Finally, please examine the fine detail on your new elevator. As if it were polished by the hands of numerous ten years old children, the interior is brought up to a highly shined and meticulously clean interior.

Everyone here at Schindler Elevator hope that you will enjoy your new elevator. Your happiness is paramount to all the happy workers here. They have a saying "If you're not happy, we won't eat." So they hope you are really, really happy.

13 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

whistleridge: iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

Mmm...you gotta be careful with that. First, you have disorder, then you have a list, then an array...before you know it, you have a matrix and a blue pill habit.


You have a point. Besides, Shindler's Array doesn't sound as moving. Perhaps, Shindler's Binary Tree would be better.

13 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
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SpdrJay     
Frankly, after all those years hiding in that attic, I doubt Miss Keller would see the humor in this headline...

13 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
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Matrix Flavored Wasabi     
Schindler's...map?

That doesn't sound quite right

13 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
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baronvonzipper     

iheartscotch: whistleridge: iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

Mmm...you gotta be careful with that. First, you have disorder, then you have a list, then an array...before you know it, you have a matrix and a blue pill habit.

You have a point. Besides, Shindler's Array doesn't sound as moving. Perhaps, Shindler's Binary Tree would be better.


Query me this..

13 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
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KingKauff    [TotalFark]  

Harry Freakstorm: Congratulations on the purchase of your new Schindler Elevator. We hope that you will find every need met with our state of the art vertical transportation system.

Our many very intelligent scientists have designed your elevator to include over 20 safety features that our competitors cannot imagine. Your safety is paramount in a Schindler Elevator. There are over 10 different patented safety braking systems on each unit. These systems were tested repeatedly and with many different test subjects.

Beyond the design, we also care about quality. Only the highest manufacturing standards were used to produce your elevator. Our technicians worked 18 - 20 hours a day to ensure your elevator is constructed to exacting standards. Our System Supervisors (SS) ensure that not shortcuts were taken in the manufacture of your elevator.

Finally, please examine the fine detail on your new elevator. As if it were polished by the hands of numerous ten years old children, the interior is brought up to a highly shined and meticulously clean interior.

Everyone here at Schindler Elevator hope that you will enjoy your new elevator. Your happiness is paramount to all the happy workers here. They have a saying "If you're not happy, we won't eat." So they hope you are really, really happy.


I love you, man

13 Nov 2012 12:51 PM
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DECMATH     

iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures


I thought it was buildings in Japan with elevators
/pointer goes to youtube address...

13 Nov 2012 12:56 PM
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special20    [TotalFark]  

iheartscotch: whistleridge: iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

Mmm...you gotta be careful with that. First, you have disorder, then you have a list, then an array...before you know it, you have a matrix and a blue pill habit.

You have a point. Besides, Shindler's Array doesn't sound as moving. Perhaps, Shindler's Binary Tree would be better.


...definitely not "Schindler's Bubble Sort".

13 Nov 2012 12:57 PM
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DrBear     
There is a Schindler elevator in the parking ramp next to my job. It's broken a lot of the time. And yes, the first time i noticed the name (what else is there to DO in an elevator?) the List reference was the first thing that came to mind.

13 Nov 2012 12:59 PM
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Miss Nova     
HOTY candidate. It's been a long time since the "If only there was. . ." headline format was used well.

13 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
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Fark Rye For Many Whores     
img339.imageshack.us

13 Nov 2012 01:00 PM
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TiMthisIS     
The 5 year old Schindler elevator at one apartment building here does not instill confidence. Noisy, slow and the doors at times are opening before the floor is even aligned or before the elevator has finished moving. The chimes are horrendous too.

13 Nov 2012 01:01 PM
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Begoggle     
Schindler 's queue

13 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
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No Time To Explain     
But a list would be too small and inefficient for showing all necessary data...perhaps a spreadsheet?

/ah subby, wonderful humour still

13 Nov 2012 01:02 PM
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TiMthisIS     
I guess those that died "were not essential to the lift effort!"

13 Nov 2012 01:05 PM
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special20    [TotalFark]  
You're all lucky it wasn't....
i.imgur.com

13 Nov 2012 01:10 PM
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God's Bathroom Floor     

notmtwain: Schindler's lifts?


There's a Schindler elevator at my grandparent's veteran's home. Can't tell you how many times I've made this joke.

13 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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Mr. Breeze     
Schindler's spreadsheet?

13 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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olddeegee    [TotalFark]  
i220.photobucket.com

13 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
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akya     

xanadian: That reminds me.... I wonder if I left the oven on......


You just need to concentrate, and I'm sure you'll remember.

13 Nov 2012 01:21 PM
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conjecture and hearsay     
Schinlder's List Part II, The Revenge of OTIS!!!!!

13 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
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barefoot in the head     
That's raise-ist

13 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
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signaljammer     
STL has dynamic arrays that can be addressed with square brackets, IIRC.

13 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
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PunGent     
Ugh.

Lots of...campy...humor in this thread.

13 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
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spawn73     

RatOmeter: They suspect the brakes, but the elevator was ascending? Were counterweights pulling it up, or what?

/Knows how hydraulic elevators work, assumes this one isn't.


They probably mean the safety feature that should have kept it in place when the guy was there, and perhaps also the system that should have stopped it when it met resistance (is there such a thing? Like how you can stick your arm in closing elevator doors, to make them reopen.).

13 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
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one of Ripley's Bad Guys     

TiMthisIS: The 5 year old Schindler elevator at one apartment building here does not instill confidence. Noisy, slow and the doors at times are opening before the floor is even aligned or before the elevator has finished moving. The chimes are horrendous too.


...but they're SWISS!!!!

13 Nov 2012 03:29 PM
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greighwolf     
Well that elevated quickly.

13 Nov 2012 04:14 PM
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Hugo Zorilla     

conjecture and hearsay: Schinlder's List Part II, The Revenge of OTIS!!!!!


It's an uplifting story...

13 Nov 2012 04:51 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

DECMATH: iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

I thought it was buildings in Japan with elevators
/pointer goes to youtube address...


You are partially correct; this thread WAS about elevators. NOW, it's about data structures.

If you don't know what that is; it's nerd speak for methods of data storage and retrieval. It's a play on words.

13 Nov 2012 05:08 PM
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iheartscotch    [TotalFark]  

special20: iheartscotch: whistleridge: iheartscotch: whistleridge: Indeed. A list, even.

What about an array? They are easier to work with.

/ this thread is now about data structures

Mmm...you gotta be careful with that. First, you have disorder, then you have a list, then an array...before you know it, you have a matrix and a blue pill habit.

You have a point. Besides, Shindler's Array doesn't sound as moving. Perhaps, Shindler's Binary Tree would be better.

...definitely not "Schindler's Bubble Sort".


I don't know; it's probably better than Shindler's Linked List.

/ I know, linked list > bubble sort

13 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
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Jument     

Sybarite: Perhaps their fundamental design flaws were completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.


I see what you did there...

13 Nov 2012 06:48 PM
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