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   Since it has exceeded the 25,000 signature threshold, the White House by its own rules, may have to formally respond to the TX secession petition on WhiteHouse.gov. Aides say possible responses include "aww hell Naw" and "No. Fark You"

13 Nov 2012 12:03 PM   |   10695 clicks   |   Yahoo
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FirstNationalBastard    [TotalFark]  
Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

13 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
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Raging Whore Moans     
Done in one.

13 Nov 2012 12:03 PM
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wildcardjack     
"All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"

13 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
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redmond24     

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


Romney DID warn Perry about those "magnets".

13 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
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FeedTheCollapse     
I'm guessing it'll be more of a "Haha no." type response.

13 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
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Renart     
They could also go with a classy "Secession: NOT YOURS" animated GIF.

13 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
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rufus-t-firefly     
The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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super_grass     
You say that like the White House will actually respond to the petition with something meaningful.

Remember the petition asking for marijuana legalization?

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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Perducci     

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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sirgrim     
Please, we insist.

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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Valiente     
Dismember the Alamo.

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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Cagey B    [TotalFark]  
Can they respond with a picture of Curly Bill?

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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AFKobel     
Please let them go.

13 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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Bendal     
"Get your legislature to send me a request, then we'll talk."

Then sit back and watch the fun erupt.

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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garandman1a     
Before everyone says 'no way', think about it.

1) Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.
2) With the loss of 30 something guaranteed red state votes, he would make the path to the Whitehouse much easier for Nancy Pelosi.

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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StreetlightInTheGhetto     
I think he should just walk into the press room, go behind the podium, pick up the mic, recite Bill Pullman's speech from Independence Day, drop it, and leave. But that's just me.

They're entitled to their opinion and they shouldn't be punished for it. However, I will fight for my own right, as an American, to laugh at them.

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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TrollingForColumbine     
How about

AMF

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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jayhawk88    [TotalFark]  
What about "Fine but only if you take Oklahoma with you"? That'll sour the deal real fast.

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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bborchar    [TotalFark]  
I'd love to see the people they would choose to run their new federal government.

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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jst3p     
www.performanceboats.com

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
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sprawl15     
Secession is unconstitutional. QED.

13 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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Tickle Mittens     

Raging Whore Moans: Done in one.


Bullshiat. This is well settled. The land stays. They're free to pack their shiat up and drag it to whatever hell-hole will take them.

13 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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StreetlightInTheGhetto     

jayhawk88: What about "Fine but only if you take Oklahoma with you"? That'll sour the deal real fast.


Aw, prairie sh-t...

13 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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LabGrrl     
I think a proportional response is called for. Time to move a military base up north. We're just trying to make them happy.

13 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
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Epoch_Zero     
Expel them from the union, for the lulz

13 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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jst3p     

LabGrrl: I think a proportional response is called for. Time to move a military base up north. We're just trying to make them happy.


I like you.

13 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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Oznog     

wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"


Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.

13 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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VvonderJesus     
i1.kym-cdn.com

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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Already Disturbed     
Perry, you pussy.

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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Lost Thought 00     
Bullets are technically a form of response.

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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espiaboricua     
The White House Response should be short enough:

"Dear Texas:

Remember Texas vs. White? No? Then look it up.

By the way, no.

Sincerely,

The White House"

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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doubled99     
Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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maxheck     
In other news, you can find 25,000 people in TX who think that the world is flat and was created in 6 days, but that doesn't make them any less idiots.

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
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Testiclaw     

Valiente: Dismember the Alamo.


Lawls!

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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Magorn    [TotalFark]  

AFKobel: Please let them go.


Bismillah! We will not let them Go!

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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sodomizer     
You go be Democrats in the blue states and try out all your new theories. We'll secede, and then clean up when you implode like your inspiration, the Soviet Union.

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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jonasborg     

super_grass: You say that like the White House will actually respond to the petition with something meaningful.

Remember the petition asking for marijuana legalization?


This

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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monoski     
Largest recipient of FEMA dollars gone, one budget closer to fixed.

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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doosh     
Hey guys, really, we should all be on board. Here is a great case for having two Americas

13 Nov 2012 12:11 PM
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Renart     

garandman1a: Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.


Actually, Texas is one of the best fundraising states for Obama. The GOP has such a lock on statewide offices here that liberals tend to give more money to national Democratic candidates. Obama hit Austin pretty regularly to fill up the campaign coffers.

And all the big cities in Texas (except for Fort Worth, maybe) voted for Obama. It's just that we have vaster derpish hinterlands than most states, so our population centers aren't enough (yet) to outvote Whargarbl-Americans.

13 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
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Walker    [TotalFark]  
img.photobucket.com

13 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
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VarmintCong     
My thought is that we should let them go, and then invade them for their oil a week later.

13 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
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Rwa2play    [TotalFark]  

FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.


Also tell them (before they go): You wanna leave? Fine, your part of the 2013 budget will now be split between the other 49 states.

/will see them say "Uh, wait. On second thought..."

13 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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ModernPrimitive01     
If Texas leaves the union where will I, as a liberal Tennesseean, be able to point and laugh at someone who is more backward than my home state?

/Mississippi I'm looking at you

13 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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semiotix    [TotalFark]  
My favorite part is the gloating on some of the freeper sites.

LOL he HAS TO RESPOND NOW!!! HA HA WE'VE FINALLY CORNERED THAT MOOSLIM COMMIE AND WE USED HIS OWN WEBSITE TO DO IT lololololol... WHATCHA GONNA DO, BARRY?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the White House is furious that they're going to get to tee off on crazed secessionists drunk on their own stupid. And in a public forum! Oh, no, please don't cover this, media. Please don't camp out on our website waiting for the response... that would be terrible!

13 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
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Tickle Mittens     

doubled99: Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.


Because the land is American. Their options are "suck it up," "die," and "leave." No one cares which they pick.

13 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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Matt Foley     

Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.


The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.

13 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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TrainingWheelsNeeded    [TotalFark]  
As long as they are willing to relocate me to city of my choice with a comparable salary and house, I'd go for it.

13 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
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Epoch_Zero     
To: Change.org
From: B­ob­ama­[nospam-﹫-backwards]es­uohet­ih­w­*go­v
Subject: Re:Seccession Petition
_____________________________________ __________________

i0.kym-cdn.com

- B

13 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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CygnusDarius     

Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.

Problem solved.

Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.


13 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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