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   Prince Charles has so many rumors about him the Royal website now has a page proving these myths wrong

13 Nov 2012 01:01 PM   |   5075 clicks   |   Yahoo
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The Stealth Hippopotamus    [TotalFark]  
Still a wanker

13 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat    [TotalFark]  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Still a wanker


False: The PoW is a tosser.

13 Nov 2012 12:27 PM
Slaxl     
has not given any thought to his coronation

Yeah, right. Even his mum has thought about it.

13 Nov 2012 12:30 PM
mark12A     
Still has a servant put the toothpaste on his brush, eh?

/sounds like code
//Geoff, it that code?

13 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
special20    [TotalFark]  
He still wants to be a tampon though, right?

13 Nov 2012 01:11 PM
cgraves67     
I wish I could drive a Bentley for security purposes, but have others pay for the ownership and upkeep.

13 Nov 2012 01:11 PM
TheOther     
RoyalSnoupeues.uk?

13 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
starsrift     
The Prince also pays tax, has not given any thought to his coronation

What are the odds being given these days that he's gonna stand aside for William, anyway?

13 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
Clarence House, Prince Charles' private office, usually renowned for protecting the secrecy of the direct heir to the throne, his wife and children, has changed tact

I guess the Prince's English isn't the Queen's English, and the Prince's private office's English ain't the Prince's English either.

13 Nov 2012 01:16 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
The Downfall     
I honestly think he has no interest in being king. I'm sure he'd rather just be skipped and let his son be king. Of course, that can't happen. At least not without abdicating, which is a bad idea all around. Anyways, Elizabeth is probably going to live forever. If she lives as long as her mother did (101) then she ain't dying until 2027, when Charles is 79. So I doubt he's going to have a long reign like she has anyways. One thing that I do find interesting about these people is they are in the news from birth to death. Elizabeth's birth was the top story on the front page of the New York Times. It will be when she dies as well.

And one last thing, in Back to the Future II, when you see the newspaper about the fracas at the courthouse, one of the stories in "Queen Diana visits America" or something to that effect. Forget the fact they divorced and then she died, but Elizabeth may very well be alive and well in 2015 at the age of 89.

13 Nov 2012 01:21 PM
ThisIsntMe     
Whatever, "We" all know the whole family are Werewolves and "They" were all up on the roof when Harriet Jones(Of Flydale North) was saving the country and world.

13 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
CygnusDarius     
I heard the rumor that the prince has a... Large broarsword.

Here's the evidence:

i5.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
CygnusDarius     
Ooohh, royal faux pas, that's a new one for me.

13 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
morlinge     
Life would be so much better if that site had a place to post new questions.

13 Nov 2012 01:33 PM
StashMonster     
I dreamed Prince Charles died last night.

I just realised this was only a dream.

Thanks Fark for realigning me with consensus reality!

13 Nov 2012 01:35 PM
starsrift     

The Downfall: I honestly think he has no interest in being king. I'm sure he'd rather just be skipped and let his son be king. Of course, that can't happen. At least not without abdicating, which is a bad idea all around... [Queen's age speculation]


A good point.

I don't think young Willie would be well recieved, just at the moment. Maybe five years down the road. Looks better if he has a squalling royal brat, too.

There is one thing I continue to admire about Elizabeth, and that's her unswerving ideals of what a monarchy should be, in this day and age. I can only imagine how browbeaten those lessons are to Charles, but Willie and Harry, the latter especially, seemed to have missed out...

13 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Still a wanker

False: The PoW is a tosser.


Why is he the Prince of Wales and not the King of Horses?
ll-media.tmz.comView Full Size

Camilla Parker Bowles (left), second wife of Prince Charles

13 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
CygnusDarius     

Snarfangel: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Still a wanker

False: The PoW is a tosser.

Why is he the Prince of Wales and not the King of Horses?
[ll-media.tmz.com image 490x315]
Camilla Parker Bowles (left), second wife of Prince Charles


Because he's not from Rohan.

13 Nov 2012 01:38 PM
Max Awesome     
What about the rumour that he got royal blowjobs from male servants that circulated a few years ago?

13 Nov 2012 01:42 PM
lunkhed     
Dear Commissioner of the Mets.

Can I has Bentley? I think I need it for protection from those nasty Met Policemen. And don't Taze me bro.

13 Nov 2012 01:46 PM
Gyrfalcon    [TotalFark]  

CygnusDarius: Snarfangel: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Still a wanker

False: The PoW is a tosser.

Why is he the Prince of Wales and not the King of Horses?
[ll-media.tmz.com image 490x315]
Camilla Parker Bowles (left), second wife of Prince Charles

Because he's not from Rohan.


[golfclap.jpg]

13 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
mjjt     
Chawles was in Auckland yesterday

Cops arrested an angry white man preparing to chuck a bucket of manure over him

13 Nov 2012 01:49 PM
lunkhed     
The Prince also pays tax, has not given any thought to his coronation, nor lent his support to asking the taxpayer to buy him a new Royal Yacht as a legacy for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Because one of the worlds' richest people can't afford her own farking yacht.

13 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
nytmare     

lunkhed: Dear Commissioner of the Mets.

Can I has Bentley? I think I need it for protection from those nasty Met Policemen. And don't Taze me bro.


Get Bentley.

13 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
dv-ous     

nytmare: lunkhed: Dear Commissioner of the Mets.

Can I has Bentley? I think I need it for protection from those nasty Met Policemen. And don't Taze me bro.

Get Bentley.


He ought to drive a Bentley. Or something that's a UK make. National pride and all that.

If the US had a Sovereign, we couldn't very well let him drive around in a Honda.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presiden tial_state_car_(United_States)

Oh, we don't. Cool.

13 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
OtherLittleGuy    [TotalFark]  
snopes.uk?

13 Nov 2012 03:03 PM
raptusregaliter     
Methinks he doth protest too much.

Any of you think Charles doesn't want to be king? Please. Tell that to the ministers he sends blizzards of memos and letters to. He wants to be king so badly it's not even funny, and his meddling is only a portion of how much he wants to be in control and not be a cipher.

Charles wants to "modernise" the monarchy, tell his brothers, sister, cousins, and their families to naff off, and he and his lazy family will be it for the British Monarchy. He'll regret that action when he realizes right off the bat how much work his sister does. Too bad it can't be "Queen Anne," because she's everything that Charles is not, and would be a damn good constitutional monarch.

The ascension of King Charles III/George VII (whichever he chooses) will be very interesting. Good luck to you, Great Britain, when that day comes.

//can't believe his PR lackeys even gave credence to any of these stupid rumors

13 Nov 2012 03:23 PM
WeenerGord    [TotalFark]  
Craig Ferguson used to do some hilarious Prince Charles skits, totally rude and politically incorrect. Did the British Monarchy call the tv studio and put a stop to that? He never does them anymore.

13 Nov 2012 03:32 PM
The Downfall     

raptusregaliter: Methinks he doth protest too much.

Any of you think Charles doesn't want to be king? Please. Tell that to the ministers he sends blizzards of memos and letters to. He wants to be king so badly it's not even funny, and his meddling is only a portion of how much he wants to be in control and not be a cipher.

Charles wants to "modernise" the monarchy, tell his brothers, sister, cousins, and their families to naff off, and he and his lazy family will be it for the British Monarchy. He'll regret that action when he realizes right off the bat how much work his sister does. Too bad it can't be "Queen Anne," because she's everything that Charles is not, and would be a damn good constitutional monarch.

The ascension of King Charles III/George VII (whichever he chooses) will be very interesting. Good luck to you, Great Britain, when that day comes.

//can't believe his PR lackeys even gave credence to any of these stupid rumors


No chance in hell he'll be Charles III. He'll be George VII (after his grandfather.) I wonder if he could be Philip I? It's his middle name and his father's name, unless there's a bad Philip I'm forgetting about.

13 Nov 2012 03:34 PM
Smingleigh     
They don't address the persistent rumour that he is a werewolf. It's easy to avoid silver if everything is made of gold.

13 Nov 2012 03:38 PM
justneal     
The Prince of Wales employs 161.1 full-time equivalent staff
huh? what is .1 of a staff?

13 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
madanimalscientist     

justneal: The Prince of Wales employs 161.1 full-time equivalent staff
huh? what is .1 of a staff?


An intern.

13 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
brimed03     
In the _Dies the Fire_ series, he becomes Mad Charles, king of what's left of England.

13 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
Isildur     
Aw, nothing about reptile people (false, but amusingly crazy) or talking to plants (true)?

"During the last three centuries, the western world has seen the growth of a damaging division in the way we see and understand the world around us. Science has tried to assume a monopoly - or rather, a tyranny - over our understanding of the world around us. Religion and science have become separated, and science has attempted to separate the natural world from God, with the result that it has fragmented the cosmos and placed the sacred into a separate, and secondary, compartment of our understanding, divorced from the practical day-to-day world of man. We are only now beginning to understand the disastrous results of this outlook."
-Speech entitled "Sacred in the Modern World", 10 July 1996
What an utter twit.

13 Nov 2012 04:27 PM
Isildur     
To get the best results, you must talk to your vegetables.

13 Nov 2012 04:30 PM
planes     
www.global-air.comView Full Size


The story of Prince Charles possibly having a gay encounter was hot news in 2003. Stephen Colbert's reporting on the story is a comedy classic. Caution: may be NSFW. (new window)

13 Nov 2012 04:38 PM
cptjeff    [TotalFark]  

The Downfall: No chance in hell he'll be Charles III.


Yeah, they've had a bit of bad luck with that name. As for Phillip, it depends on how you count it. Mary's husband was Phillip, and under the treaty where they married, he was given equal rights and title as long as the relationship lasted, and was formally recognized as king, though it was dependent on his Wife's reign. She died, and he eventually turned to trying to conquer England and return it to Catholicism- remember the little incident with the Spanish Armada? He was kind of behind that.

So, Phillip is probably out. If he does, it'll probably be Phillip I, disowning the guy who tried to unseat the first Elizabeth.

13 Nov 2012 04:44 PM
Taima     
From the (non) link: In order to reduce net emissions from car travel, The Prince's Jaguars, Audi and Range Rover have been converted to run on 100 per cent biodiesel made from used cooking oil, and his 40-year-old Aston Martin to run on 100 per cent bioethanol made from waste wine.

"Waste" wine? I see the two words in print, but I don't know what they mean when put together.

13 Nov 2012 04:51 PM
Taima     
Also, do they have a separate page for the Prince Phillip Cargo Cult?

13 Nov 2012 05:08 PM
Terrible Old Man     
Biggest Myth: Someone cares about Prince Charles enough to give a shiat.

Honest question to anyone british who might know... Do the Royal Family serve any actual function anymore? Politically or otherwise or is it just little more than a rich inbred family trying to desperately pretend it's relevant still?

14 Nov 2012 01:29 AM
starsrift     

Terrible Old Man: Biggest Myth: Someone cares about Prince Charles enough to give a shiat.

Honest question to anyone british who might know... Do the Royal Family serve any actual function anymore? Politically or otherwise or is it just little more than a rich inbred family trying to desperately pretend it's relevant still?


I don't know about the UK.

In Canada, the Queen - via the personage of the Governor General - serves various parliamentary functions(such as veto power) as well as taking on largely ceremonial roles, such as the CiC. I imagine it's much the same in the UK, Wikipedia could probably help you out if you're really interested.

14 Nov 2012 02:52 AM
Mr. Toadcheese     
Not specifically disavowed, therefore probably true:

- Now that he and Camille are married, has changed his desire from being her tampon to being her panty-liner, on account of his ears being the equivalent of "wings".

- Failed to withdraw Excalibur from stone.

- Shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

15 Nov 2012 04:32 PM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  

Mr. Toadcheese: Not specifically disavowed, therefore probably true:
- Shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.


That poor man.
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 05:50 PM
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