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   Top ten ways we injure our genitals. Wearing shorts and sitting in a chair with wide spaces surprisingly not in list

13 Nov 2012 03:44 PM   |   18483 clicks   |   The Atlantic
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
Uh, that's a list of 7 ways. Or possibly 12 if you accept the specific examples from the database, which are somewhat horrifying. But I'm not sure how you get a top ten list out of that.

13 Nov 2012 11:55 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
Cythraul     
11) Overzealous fellatio.

13 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/

13 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk     
i48.tinypic.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
Ennuipoet     
cdn1.hark.comView Full Size

#7: The Zipper

13 Nov 2012 12:24 PM
Kredal    [TotalFark]  
12: Installing a ceiling fan. (Well, the instructions weren't clear)

13 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  
Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders

13 Nov 2012 12:59 PM
Dead for Tax Reasons    [TotalFark]  
iamtransgendered.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 01:05 PM
Dead for Tax Reasons    [TotalFark]  
CONTUSION PENIS

sounds like a good band name, leave the caps

13 Nov 2012 01:07 PM
Blues_X    [TotalFark]  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
Chariset    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x504]


That timeless Christmas classic, The Nutcracker

13 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
Chariset    [TotalFark]  
Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.

13 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
pudding7    [TotalFark]  

Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.


www.realfunfood.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
Radak    [TotalFark]  
Parents mutilating their male child's genitals without consent suspiciously absent.

13 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
dahmers love zombie    [TotalFark]  
Well, that database has some scary entries:

Narrative: 15 YOM WAS RIDING A BULL IN THE RODEO AND WAS BUCKED OFF AND THE BULL STEPPED ON HIS SCROTUM. DX: TESTICULAR TRAUMA

Narrative: 15YOM PLACED SEWING NEEDLE IN PENIS, UNABLE TO PULL OUT, LODGED IN URET HRA W/PAIN, DYSURIA, NOT SELF INJURY RELATED; FB REMOVED

/O__O

13 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
L.D. Ablo    [TotalFark]  
vh1.mtvnimages.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
OtherLittleGuy     
www.dadwagon.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 03:14 PM
Amos Quito     
=====/\ >

Circumcision

13 Nov 2012 03:21 PM
Dumski    [TotalFark]  
i277.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Lets not leave the rectum out of the discussion, please.

13 Nov 2012 03:22 PM
Dumski    [TotalFark]  
Oh, and this:
i277.photobucket.comView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 03:25 PM
Dumski    [TotalFark]  

Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.


This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......

13 Nov 2012 03:27 PM
Jument     
"Making youtube videos"?

13 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
karmaceutical     
AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA

I want to party with this chick.

13 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
SkylineRecords     

Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.

This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......


Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?

13 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
Ambitwistor     

13 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
Spartapuss     
crunchy peanut butter

13 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
dj_spanmaster     
1 - check
2 - check
4 - check
5 - check
6 - check
7 - check

So, the only thing I haven't done is put my junk in a zipper and zipped it. But do piercings count as partial credit?

13 Nov 2012 03:51 PM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
Well, that list explains Subby's ten inch penis, even allowing for rounding up.

But list fails without auto-fellatio.

13 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
NutWrench     
It's possible to break your penis!

13 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
Big Man On Campus     
Size tends to make these problems less of an issue, I guess some of us are just lucky.

13 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
Sticky Hands    [TotalFark]  

brantgoose: Well, that list explains Subby's ten inch penis, even allowing for rounding up.

But list fails without auto-fellatio.


yeah, I ain't putting my banana in the tailpipe again.

13 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
Znuh     
pairadimes.davidtruss.comView Full Size


I'm Dr. Zilman. Here at the Scrotal Institute...

13 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
LeroyBourne     
Growing up I played baseball a lot in the summers. I loved playing SS or 3rd base, and I was vicious at going for hard hit ground balls, and never getting out of the way and doing that ol' lay shiat. One particular ball (hit very hard) took a funny bounce and nailed me right in the crotch. I always wore a cup, but still it hurt like hell. I always wonder what could of happened if I wasn't wearing one.
/hit the cycle once, one of my happiest/greatest moments

13 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
Odd Bird     

xanadian: Ain't no way in hell imma clickin that link. :/

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

SkylineRecords:
Dumski: Chariset: Anyway, several of those sound like "I fell on it" excuse people use when they insert something into an embarrassing place and then need to go to the Emergency Room to get it back out.
This is so true. I work in an ER for many years. So many stories......

Ahem...you think you can just stop at "so many stories..."?


Yes. Yes he can and hopefully will.

13 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
badgerb     
took a frozen tennis ball to the gonads from an NHL player when I was young.
My high voice still breaks crystal 30 years later.

13 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
Maud Dib     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [i48.tinypic.com image 609x753]


Holy carp. Remember reading those in National Lampoon magazine.
Yeah, I'm old.

13 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
Beerguy    [TotalFark]  

Blues_X: [img.photobucket.com image 300x430]


I remember getting into that thread early on and saying to myself, "this is going to be epic and I can't risk being sober for it" followed by me hitting the Maker's Mark pretty hard.

Good times....

13 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
Nogale     
VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?

13 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
redmid17    [TotalFark]  

SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders


In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.

13 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
Fluorescent Testicle     
FTFA: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

I call bullshiat. Legs don't even bend that way.

13 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
Hot Carl To Go     
Sliding out of an SUV seat.

13 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
Prank Monkey     
I just skimmed the article but I didn't see "because it was stuck in the chicken" on there

13 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
Spartapuss     

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


He slips off the edge of the bed and forgets to let go of your ankles.

13 Nov 2012 03:58 PM
Skulduggery     
Playing roller derby sometimes we had awkward falls where we'd land on our own skates or sometimes someone else's. We call those giner shiners...

13 Nov 2012 03:59 PM
LeroyBourne     

redmid17: SnakeLee: Pick up basketball is rightfully on that list. People going for steals and people trying to save the ball from going out of bounds are the biggest offenders

In my defense, it's a lot easier to steal the ball if I punch you in the nuts before I try and take it.


You sound like a chucker. You're a chucker!

13 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
TheOther     

Nogale: VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.

How does this happen? Can someone explain the mechanics of this mishap?


F*ck Me Pumps that do what they are told?

13 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
maltedmothball    [TotalFark]  

Dumski: [i277.photobucket.com image 224x224] 
Lets not leave the rectum out of the discussion, please.


Rectum? Damn near kill'em !

/sorry had to be done

13 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
fluffy2097     
Bathroom falls and mishaps... surrrreeeeee

"Honest doctor! I was washing my hair when I slipped and fell and the shampoo bottle got stuck up my ass!"

13 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
tuxq     
does herpes count? because if so

13. Subby's mom

13 Nov 2012 04:02 PM
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