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   Woman says she stabbed her husband because Jesus AND Mary told her to do so

13 Nov 2012 02:23 PM   |   3841 clicks   |   The Smoking Gun
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Brontes     
The lawn guy and the maid had it out for the husband all along

13 Nov 2012 01:03 PM
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MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Well, at least she's not crazy

13 Nov 2012 01:05 PM
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Elzar     
How is this any different that Abraham - except that god did not intervene with an angel this time...

/ faith is awesome - wins elections, explains the origin of the universe, creates plants before light

13 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
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St_Francis_P     
The poor woman is certainly confused. To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, I wait until at least 3 of the voices tell me to kill.

13 Nov 2012 01:18 PM
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Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

...seen fleeing the scene.

13 Nov 2012 01:21 PM
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queezyweezel    [TotalFark]  
Religion of peace.

13 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
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Because People in power are Stupid    [TotalFark]  
Sharp meth pipes.

13 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
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BunkoSquad    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: ...seen fleeing the scene.


/slinks away, having been beaten to the joke

13 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
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Shadow Blasko     
This meshes so very well with the headline beneath it.

13 Nov 2012 02:25 PM
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nirwana     
Jesus AND Mary? That's quite a chain.

13 Nov 2012 02:26 PM
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nirwana     
Sorry, Diogenes. I see you got there firstest with the mostest..

13 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
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stuhayes2010     
Where was Joseph?

13 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
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newton     
That's odd...
When I found out I was sent to save the world...
I didn't harm anybody...

13 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
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gerbilpox     

St_Francis_P: The poor woman is certainly confused. To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, I wait until at least 3 of the voices tell me to kill.


The 3rd is only needed to break a tie.

13 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
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Delawheredad    [TotalFark]  
According to a lot of women I know ALL men are the spawn of Satan!

13 Nov 2012 02:31 PM
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olapbill     

Diogenes: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x227]

...seen fleeing the scene.


that's off the chain.

13 Nov 2012 02:32 PM
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gerbilpox     

Elzar: creates plants before light


Didn't plants come after "let there be light" and the sun? I thought the order was right, at least.


/but I'm a clueless atheist

13 Nov 2012 02:33 PM
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wambu     

stuhayes2010: Joseph


Joseph unavailable for comment..

13 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
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syzygy whizz    [TotalFark]  

Delawheredad: According to a lot of women I know ALL men are the spawn of Satan!


Satan sure seems to have some smooth moves to have created so much spawn...

13 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
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2 Replies     
Remember people, religeon is a valuable moral guide. O_O
balladeer.files.wordpress.com

13 Nov 2012 02:36 PM
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DreamyAltarBoy     

Diogenes: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x227]

...seen fleeing the scene.


Well, they are the voices in my head that I most often listen to.

13 Nov 2012 02:37 PM
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LouisZepher     
C'mon. Tommyknockers? Some folks are slipping.

13 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
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imtheonlylp     

2 Replies: Remember people, religeon is a valuable moral guide. O_O
[balladeer.files.wordpress.com image 306x320]


evenJesusfacepalms.jpg

13 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
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millsapian87     

BunkoSquad: Diogenes: ...seen fleeing the scene.
/slinks away, having been beaten to the joke


...Dammit!

//shakes tiny fist, etc.

13 Nov 2012 02:39 PM
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Freakin Rican     
i thought satans spawn was my nephews?

13 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
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way south     
It's rare that a stabbing comes so highly recommended.

13 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
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AngryDragon     
Family Values

13 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
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borg    [TotalFark]  
ill-use.comwww.thefix.com

This is Jesus and Mary

13 Nov 2012 02:49 PM
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lunchinlewis    [TotalFark]  
Good headline. Almost gold.

13 Nov 2012 02:50 PM
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offmymeds     
*clicks link*

Yep. Crazy eyes.

13 Nov 2012 02:50 PM
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XplodedSynapses     
i had to check to make sure it wasn't my mom.

13 Nov 2012 03:11 PM
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Bobbi Wickham     
Someone needs new meds.

13 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
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mrlewish     
So are they going to evaluate her claims?

13 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
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danielscissorhands     

Diogenes: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x227]

...seen fleeing the scene.


Came here to say something similar.
Leaving satisfied.

13 Nov 2012 03:15 PM
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Elzar     

gerbilpox: Elzar: creates plants before light

Didn't plants come after "let there be light" and the sun? I thought the order was right, at least.


/but I'm a clueless atheist


1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
1:12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
1:13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
1:14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
1:15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
1:17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
1:18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
1:19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

farking goat-herders - how does science work?

13 Nov 2012 03:19 PM
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caddisfly     
One of these days someone is going to actually kill Satan and get no credit for it whatsoever. A shame really.

13 Nov 2012 03:22 PM
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TheGogmagog     

mrlewish: So are they going to evaluate her claims?


She certainly has an unfalsifiable claim. I think the court is going to be helpless at convicting her.

13 Nov 2012 03:27 PM
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Lekneh     
Oh, man. That's a rough 36.

13 Nov 2012 03:30 PM
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cwolf20     
Jumpin Jehoshaphat credited with helping him live. The Holy Frijole was never called upon, but moved fast.

13 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
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TheGogmagog     

wambu: stuhayes2010: Joseph

Joseph unavailable for comment..


i53.tinypic.com

13 Nov 2012 03:51 PM
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Keizer_Ghidorah     
So, the man who preached love and peace and tolerance and brotherhood told her to murder someone? And she listened? This is why Christians can be scary, since they'll do anything their deity tells them to.

/if Jesus told you to run off a cliff, would you do it?

13 Nov 2012 04:17 PM
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lousy screw     
weknowawesome.com

13 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
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Clockwork Kumquat     

wambu: stuhayes2010: Joseph

Joseph unavailable for comment..


The Father and Holy Spirit strangely uninvolved also. Where are the farking checks and balances here?

13 Nov 2012 07:04 PM
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OK So Amuse Me     
I'm guessing she's a Republican and he's a Democrat?

13 Nov 2012 08:17 PM
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massfeud     
See, I have this cool new ring...
thainsbook.net

13 Nov 2012 08:18 PM
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