That would be awesome

I signed it

Goin' for the easy green, eh, subby?

ok, we can get this up to 25000 signatures.

I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I kind of like this one:

Make Duncan Trussell the Emperor Of Planet Earth

We petition the Obama administration to construct an iron throne made of meteorites and incinerated pope penises upon which the new emperor of planet earth Duncan Trussell can reign supreme.

Attached to the throne should be a surgical straw connected to an endless quantity of fresh fetal stem cells upon which our Lord may suckle as the people of the world petition him for mercy or offer him their children and livestock.

Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

But you can find 25000 who want one.

ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

Goddamn Obama...

I can just imagine how the Secret Service will react to a gathering of Farkers.

MrBallou: ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

But you can find 25000 who want one.

So make the petition be that every one who signs the petition will get a BJ from Scarlett. That would work. She's probably down.

utsagrad123: MrBallou: ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

But you can find 25000 who want one.

So make the petition be that every one who signs the petition will get a BJ from Scarlett. That would work. She's probably down.

If not down, she'll be going there soon enough.

Only if the liberty derp squad has to show up too.

utsagrad123: MrBallou: ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

But you can find 25000 who want one.

So make the petition be that every one who signs the petition will get a BJ from Scarlett. That would work. She's probably down.

So...who wants to be #22,543?

Okay, signed.

Good luck, Drew!

Yeah I'll be signing this later.

I signed it, but if it's a Fark party it better be in the greater Chattanooga metropolitan area so I can attend dammit!

Beer is good.

Just PM him on Reddit.

thismomentinblackhistory: Just PM him on Reddit.

Actually, I suspect he trolls the Politics Tab as the Derpiest McDerpson on Fark.

Ennuipoet: thismomentinblackhistory: Just PM him on Reddit.

Actually, I suspect he trolls the Politics Tab as the Derpiest McDerpson on Fark.

Skinnyhead...

How about have the government subsidize Give Joe the Bird so it can fill out that last $10,000 that it's been stuck on for a month.

Shostie: Goin' for the easy green, eh, subby?

So is this going to be the new thing now, because i'm already bored with it?

Heineken! Fark that shiat, PABST BLUE RIBBON!

I was a block away at the coffee shop when he came to Delray Beach. They said he was going to stop in, but he never did. Would have been kinda cool.

Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

This is something I can get behind, both political parties however? not so much.

What if we get the requisite number of signatures...and he says "OK, sure!"

ZzeusS: I was a block away at the coffee shop when he came to Delray Beach. They said he was going to stop in, but he never did. Would have been kinda cool.

Drew can be fickle like that.

No. Obama's had enough beer drinking for 8 years. Obama needs to get his ass to work.

MrBallou: ManateeGag: Shostie: I'm going to start a petition for a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson.

I don't think the federal government can grant you that. nor will you find 25000 people who want YOU to have one.

But you can find 25000 who want one.

That'll be some amazing bukakke. Hope they record the whole thing.

I signed. If we can get Biden a Trans Am, we can get Drew a beer with the President. Make it happen, buttholes.

The lowercase 'h' is bothering me.

39

Nope

signed

Might want to reword the petition to be written in proper english.

Hell yeah!

Just as long as the slugs at Reddit don't steal the idea. They steal everything.

/signed

I'm going to petition that we stop petitioning.

/we're not gonna protest!

Promoted on FB too :)

Sounds good to me.

The more time he spends drinking beer, the less time he has to make us all miserable.

Not every farker.

Of course it contains a typo.

I can't figure out what my password is.:(

Have the president to attend - Really? No need to proof read when petitioning the President. This got killed dead before it even left the ground.

Disgruntled Goat: Might want to reword the petition to be written in proper english.

Seconded.

Still waiting for my confirmation email so I can sign...

The Token Man: Disgruntled Goat: Might want to reword the petition to be written in proper english.

Seconded.

Thirded.

Hey, maybe we should start a petition to fix the grammar in this petition.

NY/NJ party. He's up here often enough. And at least a few of us would pass the screening.