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   I didn't read the terms and conditions of the Delta SkyMiles program and they kicked me out. Can you help me get their CEO sent to Guantanamo Bay?

13 Nov 2012 08:54 PM   |   14546 clicks   |   The Consumerist
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scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  
I was told there's always room for cello

13 Nov 2012 05:09 PM
Endive Wombat    [TotalFark]  
Wait...based off the way I am reading this, Delta is the asshat here, not the OP.

I presume he is paying full price for the second seat that is occupied by the instrument. So, if that is the case, who the fark cares if it is a living, breathing human, dog, pet rock, imaginary friend or musical instrument.

Money is being spent for a second seat and that is that.

What am I missing here?

13 Nov 2012 05:09 PM
MadAzza     
I usually side with the airline if there's a complaint, because usually the customer is being unreasonable.

However, Delta is coming across as petty and vindictive here.

13 Nov 2012 05:24 PM
quatchi     
Hey now! The very first term and condition of the Delta SkyMiles program is that we don't talk about the terms and conditions of the Delta Skymiles program.

Am I the only one who reads those things?

13 Nov 2012 05:35 PM
Gig103    [TotalFark]  
I've been building miles under the cello's account and in turn, those miles help reduce the costs of flights for the cello in future trips.

I get the point, he's buying two seats and should get credit for them both. But it sounds like he has been buying the second seat in a different name in order for the cello to have its own Skymiles account.

13 Nov 2012 06:25 PM
MadAzza     

Gig103: I've been building miles under the cello's account and in turn, those miles help reduce the costs of flights for the cello in future trips.

I get the point, he's buying two seats and should get credit for them both. But it sounds like he has been buying the second seat in a different name in order for the cello to have its own Skymiles account.


Oh! Well, then. I didn't read it carefully (on my phone).

13 Nov 2012 06:27 PM
NickelP    [TotalFark]  
How did they even know he was doing this? Was he getting boarding passes for it under Mr. Cello or something?

13 Nov 2012 06:49 PM
Gig103    [TotalFark]  

MadAzza: Oh! Well, then. I didn't read it carefully (on my phone).


It took me a few passes until I found the line I quoted you, it's sort of buried in there, probably intentionally.


NickelP: How did they even know he was doing this? Was he getting boarding passes for it under Mr. Cello or something?


I'm not sure how it would work with the TSA and gate agents. The best I came up with is that he books two tickets under his name, but registered a Skymiles account in that name with a different address and phone number (family or friend?). Which would be fraud on the system since the system sucks.

13 Nov 2012 07:01 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

scottydoesntknow: I was told there's always room for cello


Airports do what they can to prevent violins.

13 Nov 2012 07:16 PM
The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
i22.photobucket.comView Full Size


"Cello?" 

13 Nov 2012 07:24 PM
The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
I love it how the letter started with "Thank you for participating....."

13 Nov 2012 07:30 PM
cptjeff     

Gig103: MadAzza: Oh! Well, then. I didn't read it carefully (on my phone).

It took me a few passes until I found the line I quoted you, it's sort of buried in there, probably intentionally.


NickelP: How did they even know he was doing this? Was he getting boarding passes for it under Mr. Cello or something?

I'm not sure how it would work with the TSA and gate agents. .


Presumably, he checks in on the computer, perhaps twice with different accounts, sticks the boarding passes for the Cello in his pocket since the TSA probably wasn't planning on checking the Cello's id. The agent at the gate sees a boarding pass for the cello, their scanner registers it as valid, he shows the agent his, and on he goes.

13 Nov 2012 08:59 PM
Ego edo infantia cattus     

Endive Wombat: Wait...based off the way I am reading this, Delta is the asshat here, not the OP.

I presume he is paying full price for the second seat that is occupied by the instrument. So, if that is the case, who the fark cares if it is a living, breathing human, dog, pet rock, imaginary friend or musical instrument.

Money is being spent for a second seat and that is that.

What am I missing here?



Corporate greed.

13 Nov 2012 09:02 PM
Rhypskallion     
It's probably '2 tickets under one name' but 'tickets for musical instruments should not accrue miles'. Automation gave him the miles, and at some point, some delta exec got irritated with him on a personal matter, or was denied a seat because of his cello and this is the result. "Policy exists to be enforced when there is a problem."

13 Nov 2012 09:03 PM
LoneDoggie     
Dick move Delta, dick move....

13 Nov 2012 09:03 PM
LordOfThePings     
Sucks to be banned for cello putting.

d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.netView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 09:05 PM
oryx     
If a corporation can be a person, why not a cello?

13 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
gingerjet     

Gig103: I'm not sure how it would work with the TSA and gate agents. The best I came up with is that he books two tickets under his name, but registered a Skymiles account in that name with a different address and phone number (family or friend?). Which would be fraud on the system since the system sucks.


Ah no. The TSA could care less. To them its one guy with one ticket going through security. The second ticket would be completely unknown to them. And he wouldn't be going through the normal gate anyways - since he has a cello with him (they have alternative gates and procedures for such things in almost all major airports).

The gate agents would of course check him in and the cello. And a separate address, phone number, etc isn't required for another Skymiles account. Everything could be the same except for the name.

/completely farked up PR move by Delta
//and subby is an ass

13 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

oryx: If a corporation can be a person, why not a cello?


I can't see a cello screwing up worse than Enron.

13 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

Endive Wombat: Wait...based off the way I am reading this, Delta is the asshat here, not the OP.

I presume he is paying full price for the second seat that is occupied by the instrument. So, if that is the case, who the fark cares if it is a living, breathing human, dog, pet rock, imaginary friend or musical instrument.

Money is being spent for a second seat and that is that.

What am I missing here?


I recently paid full price for a non-refundable ticket from LAX to Tokyo that I had to forfeit because my travel plans suddenly changed. The miles from that leg of my trip would not be granted because I was not physically present on the flight, even though for all intents and purposes I had 1. already paid for the ticket and 2. saved the plane money by not taking a seat on board.

In this case too, the guy may not feel like it, but by buying a seat for his cello (something that can't accrue miles on its own) he isn't also buying the rights to the flight miles.

It doesn't feel right, but them's the breaks.

13 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
Tillmaster     
The problem about accumulating miles on Delta is that the reward involves having to fly more miles on Delta.

I stopped flying these guys a few years ago - two very, er, marginal landings at LGA were the clincher.

Jamais deux sans trois, as my old Mother might have said if she's been French.

13 Nov 2012 09:08 PM
zzrhardy     
Douchebage airline vs Consumerist poster.

It's like watching the 2 people you hare most slug it out.

13 Nov 2012 09:10 PM
little big man     
I may need to calibrate my sarcasm meter but subby, but aren't we being a bit harsh?

13 Nov 2012 09:12 PM
Jument     
Kinda dickish of them to summarily boot him out of the program like that. They guy has obviously spent a lot of money with them. Why not send in a polite but firm letter telling him not do to it again and leave it at that? And why did they allow him to accumulate the points in the first place?

It's kinda funny how the letter reminds me of Warcraft and Xbox bannination letters though. :)

13 Nov 2012 09:15 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     

zzrhardy: Douchebage airline vs Consumerist poster.

It's like watching the 2 people you hare most slug it out.


It doesn't matter. The tortoise would totally win that fight.

13 Nov 2012 09:18 PM
Bartleby the Scrivener     
More to the point, how does a farking cello case fit in an airplane seat or anywhere where a real person may be on an airplane? Does this cello have knees?

13 Nov 2012 09:23 PM
Gyrfalcon     
Sorry, anyone who writes in to Consumerist with a problem automatically deserves to be beaten with a sack of doorknobs, no matter how valid their complaint.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 PM
mesmer242     
Does subby work for Delta or something? I can see them rescinded the miles earned for the cello, but if they've supposedly known about the issue for 11 years and are just now telling him, maybe they should cut the guy some slack and let him keep his own account. You know, since he was still earning miles on his own seat the whole time.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 PM
doglover    [TotalFark]  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: zzrhardy: Douchebage airline vs Consumerist poster.

It's like watching the 2 people you hare most slug it out.

It doesn't matter. The tortoise would totally win that fight.


It would be quite a tail to tell.

13 Nov 2012 09:30 PM
skwerl     
The easy solution is to simply give your business to another airline which might appreciate it slightly more.

13 Nov 2012 09:34 PM
whatsupchuck     
The airline is getting a regular paying customer (the cello) that doesn't eat free peanuts, drink free soda, clog up the flying toilets, cry, get drunk or insult the flight attendants. You'd think they'd want as many musical instruments on board as they could possibly manage.

13 Nov 2012 09:38 PM
Canton     

Bartleby the Scrivener: More to the point, how does a farking cello case fit in an airplane seat or anywhere where a real person may be on an airplane? Does this cello have knees?


I've never done it, but having seen pictures like this, I suspect it's not done in coach. Or if it is, I guess you might have to push the seat back? It'd definitely have to go in front of the seat, though, rather than in it.

The only time I flew with a cello, it was checked, complete with special handling. It was fine. Also, it was a sturdy young Kay, not a freaking Stradivarius or something. An expensive old European instrument, yeah, you'd want to carry on.

13 Nov 2012 09:39 PM
RealAmericanHero     
The fact that a rule exists doesn't by virtue make the rule not retarded, and by extension I find not following such rules to be acceptable. Naturally this leaves one who takes that path to deal with the consequences of their actions as modern society, especially the no-faces and minimum wage drones of corporations, often doesn't have any sense of altruism or common sense, but does have plenty of power to catch people with bullshiat "got'cha" rules to make themselves feel better about their shiatty lives and how nothing turned out like they hoped for. It may not be a shiny TSA badge, but it still puts an atom of warmth in their chilly little hearts.

In other words, fark Delta. And fark subby for being part of the problem.

13 Nov 2012 09:41 PM
divx88     
So if you're fat, can you get banned for using Mr. Right Ass Cheek's miles?

13 Nov 2012 09:42 PM
bkosh84     
Why couldn't they just revoke the airline miles from the specific account for the cello? Is that really THAT hard of a concept to grasp for these farkheads?

13 Nov 2012 09:43 PM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

bkosh84: Why couldn't they just revoke the airline miles from the specific account for the cello? Is that really THAT hard of a concept to grasp for these farkheads?


Delta's computer systems crash regularly. You think they can do something complicated like subtract out the miles from the registered total miles of a Skymiles member? HAH!

13 Nov 2012 09:45 PM
bv2112     
I think this is bullshiat on Delta's part, but this cellist is a moron if he thinks they're canceling his accounts to sell the miles he's accrued under them. These miles are not a finite good. They're fiat money invented by the airlines.

And don't even get me started on the idiots who donate miles for airlines to fly sick children for free.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 PM
Birnone     
My Solomon-like decision would be:

Each seat he pays for can earn frequent flyer perks, but separately. So if he flies 2,000 miles buying two tickets, each ticket has 2,000 miles of perks earned. He can't add them together to get 4,000 miles of perks on one account.

13 Nov 2012 09:46 PM
cyberspacedout     
Airline passengers never like sitting next to a-holes. Apparently, nor do they like sitting next to f-holes.

13 Nov 2012 09:47 PM
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves     
While this dispute is silly, there are plenty of good reasons to send the CEO of Delta to Gitmo.

13 Nov 2012 09:48 PM
MrDon    [TotalFark]  
As a side thought, I have a cousin who was a flight attendent for a major airline for 38 years. One time she told me that I would never fly again if I had a hint of how many people urinate in their seats.
Think about that the next time you take off!


BTW - Any flight attendent with that much time in the air will always have the best stories.

13 Nov 2012 09:48 PM
bdub77    [TotalFark]  
As someone who plays the cello - airplane transportation is a f*cking nightmare. Although I've never bought a seat for my cello, as my cello simply isn't worth the risk. I just pack it really well and hope for the best in cargo. Having said that, this guy probably committed some fraud.

Besides, it sounds like this guy chose poorly - Delta is one of the worst airlines ever.

13 Nov 2012 09:53 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves    [TotalFark]  
Now he'll never get to fly from Philadelphia to Cleveland with two layovers in Atlanta

13 Nov 2012 09:55 PM
Ebenator     
I usually laugh at Consumerist articles, but this cellist seems to be in the right, and subby seems to be an over-reactive, exaggerating bastard. -1

13 Nov 2012 10:02 PM
AndreMA     

Endive Wombat: Wait...based off the way I am reading this, Delta is the asshat here, not the OP.

I presume he is paying full price for the second seat that is occupied by the instrument. So, if that is the case, who the fark cares if it is a living, breathing human, dog, pet rock, imaginary friend or musical instrument.

Money is being spent for a second seat and that is that.

What am I missing here?


Nothing. subby is either a troll, a moran or both. Delta actually benefited slightly from the seat being occupied by a relatively light cello (fuel consumption, no beverage service, no snacks/meals served to the cello...)

13 Nov 2012 10:05 PM
herrDrFarkenstein     

divx88: So if you're fat, can you get banned for using Mr. Right Ass Cheek's miles?


divx88: So if you're fat, can you get banned for using Mr. Right Ass Cheek's miles?


Bears repeating.

divx88: So if you're fat, can you get banned for using Mr. Right Ass Cheek's miles?


13 Nov 2012 10:05 PM
King Something     

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: scottydoesntknow: I was told there's always room for cello

Airports do what they can to prevent violins.


True, but they don't have any reason to be such a pianist wrinkle about it.

13 Nov 2012 10:11 PM
crypticsatellite    [TotalFark]  
I once saw YoYo Ma do the same thing. I wonder if they'll go after him next...

13 Nov 2012 10:11 PM
Musikslayer     

gingerjet:

/completely farked up PR move by Delta


Especially since the cellist is a mega-superstar in the classical world. Next to Yo-Yo, he's probably the #2 guy in America. On top of that he's really nice and cordial, he's like the Tom Hanks of Cello. This story happened a while ago and every cellist knows about it. It's not like a cello boycott will do a lot of damage, but at least Delta will lose 2 sales for every cellist that chooses another airline. Screwing with Lynn Harrell is like picking on Mr. Rogers.

13 Nov 2012 10:12 PM
halB     
1) They were making money off of him.

2) It appears he would have continued to exclusively use them in the future.

3) This means their competitors are not making money, which is good for Delta.

4) I think this is a bad sign of capitalism's health when a company feels like they can piss all over the first 3 points.

13 Nov 2012 10:17 PM
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