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   Guy gets olive oil injection to enlarge his penis. What could possibly go wrong? How about "His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut," and that was just the start

14 Nov 2012 02:26 AM   |   13779 clicks   |   Bangkok Post
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2xhelix    [TotalFark]  
Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

13 Nov 2012 10:06 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
Bangkok Post

/I'll say

13 Nov 2012 10:35 PM
Relatively Obscure    [TotalFark]  

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.


www.zz22.netView Full Size

13 Nov 2012 10:36 PM
Mentat    [TotalFark]  

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.


Note to self: do not go to Taco Bell with that guy.

14 Nov 2012 12:02 AM
ArkAngel    [TotalFark]  
possibly fatal genital infection

andthatswhyyouresingle.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 12:11 AM
The_Sponge    [TotalFark]  
Popeye must be pissed.

14 Nov 2012 12:24 AM
Kingly Weevil     
Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn

Wut

14 Nov 2012 12:38 AM
ecmoRandomNumbers    [TotalFark]  

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.


Jesus H. Christ. I've been laughing for at least a good minute and I don't know if it's because I'm tired or this is the funniest thing I've read all week.

14 Nov 2012 02:24 AM
Omahawg     
jeez, when I want to enlarge it i just rub the olive oil on my....hey now wait a minute here

14 Nov 2012 02:27 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
This is why you always use Synthol, and not olive oil, to increase mass.

14 Nov 2012 02:30 AM
Emposter     
"His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut"

So it was bigger, yes?

In any event, the article doesn't seem to indicate if any of the dude's problems actually had anything to do with the injection.

14 Nov 2012 02:36 AM
Eugoogoolizer     
I'd imagine he's not the only guy to have had something like this done. Think about all those other poor mother farkers out there who read this, gulped and slowly looked down.

14 Nov 2012 02:36 AM
UncleStumpy     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bangkok Post

/I'll say


shakes tiny fist!!!

working in a hospital, had a patient last week whose testes had swollen to the size of half an american football.

csb

14 Nov 2012 02:36 AM
Heamer     
I can't imagine ever injecting anything into my genitals. Ever. For any reason. Even if I was hung like a mosquito, I'd never think to stick a needle full of mystery cock serum into my junk. Poor guy.

14 Nov 2012 02:38 AM
davidphogan     

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.


I wish someone would tell my roommate's friends that.

14 Nov 2012 02:38 AM
rekraFlatoT     
so, Virgin or Extra Virgin?

14 Nov 2012 02:38 AM
Chelsea Clinton Is Carrot Top's Lost Twin     

Omahawg: jeez, when I want to enlarge it i just rub the olive oil on my....hey now wait a minute here


A patient once told his doctor he wanted a larger penis so the doctor told him the best way for that to happen is to rub cooking oil on his member once a day before going to bed.

After the first week of applying the cooking oil, the patient noticed his member getting what appeared to be smaller not larger.

after the second week the patient definitely noticed his member was indeed getting smaller, so he went back to the doctor....

"Doctor, doctor... yah gotta help me!!! I've done just as you told me to do... I've been rubbing my penis with cooking oil and it keeps getting smaller, not larger... Help!!!!"

The doctor seemed puzzled for a moment as to why the treatment wasn't working and then asked his patient, "What brand of cooking oil are you using?"'

The patient replied, "Crisco oil."

The doctor immediately said, "Well, there's your answer, you're using shortening oil."

www.americangrocery.co.ukView Full Size




/Bah



//Dah



///Bing!

14 Nov 2012 02:40 AM
GentlemanJ     
Just don't use Crisco--it's shortening.

14 Nov 2012 02:42 AM
you are a puppet     
Man enlarges penis, gets cancer

api.ning.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 02:42 AM
harrydorcas     
He is probably a British man who is fond of casinos and gambling. Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to have huge dicks as study says.

14 Nov 2012 02:43 AM
Spad31    [TotalFark]  

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.


OK. Dammit. You get my first use of the "funny" button. Well done!

/HA!

14 Nov 2012 02:50 AM
Spad31    [TotalFark]  
And the "Smart" button.

14 Nov 2012 02:51 AM
Shrapnel     
So the guy says to the Eastern doctor, "Doc, all the Americans say my condition is incurable, and they have to cut my penis off."

"Ah, Western medicine," the doctor sniffs. "All they want to do is cut, cut, cut! Not necessary."

"Whew," the dude says. "So what do I do?

"You wait two weeks, young man. Then penis fall off all by itself!"

14 Nov 2012 02:51 AM
fusillade762     
I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.

14 Nov 2012 02:54 AM
Old Man Winter    [TotalFark]  
I'll be right back, I need to tell my penis I love it.

14 Nov 2012 02:59 AM
Whelan     
Dr. Kittisup-porn? Is that like when you watch ceiling cat masturbate?

14 Nov 2012 03:02 AM
farkingismybusiness     
You guys act like coconut sized genitalia is a bad thing. Trust me it's not.

14 Nov 2012 03:09 AM
Shyla     
Olive oil causes cancer!?

14 Nov 2012 03:09 AM
untaken_name     
So it worked for 5 years and then he got an infected cut and didn't treat it....musta been the olive oil.

14 Nov 2012 03:13 AM
rkelley25    [TotalFark]  
I heard that Popeye was worried about all that salt water rusting his junk, so he stuck it in olive oil

14 Nov 2012 03:24 AM
Ol' Derpy Bastard     
Ok. I saw the word Bangkok in the link to the article and started laughing.

No. I'm not done yet.

14 Nov 2012 03:31 AM
yousaywut     

untaken_name: So it worked for 5 years and then he got an infected cut and didn't treat it....musta been the olive oil.


This^

/Also for future reference if you cut your dick and it starts to swell go see a fracking doctor. Your junk should not get all swollen without some external agitation being applied at the time of said swelling.

14 Nov 2012 03:36 AM
real_kibo     

fusillade762: I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.


This isn't the story in question, but it's a motor oil story with symptoms worth quoting:

Squamous cell carcinoma of the scrotum in a Nigerian: case report

-> On examination he was pale, had a foulsmelling, grotesque, fungating, ulcero-proliferative mass with rolled edges which involved the whole scrotum and proximal third of the penile shaft, 

Rolled edges! Classy.

More scrotal oil mishaps for your reading enjoyment. Here's mineral oil:

Disseminated lipogranulomas and sudden death from self-administered mineral oil injection.

Or transmission fluid:

Sclerosing lipogranulomatosis: a case report of scrotal injection of automobile transmission fluid and literature review of subcutaneous injection of oils. 

Or WD40:

The successful urological management of self-injection of Petroleum Distillate (WD40 TM) to the scrotum

("Well, at least my balls no longer squeak.")

Doesn't anyone just use Nutella any more? They wouldn't call it "Nutella" if it wasn't meant to go inside there.

14 Nov 2012 03:38 AM
OscarTamerz     
Penile cancers in men like cervical cancers in women are usually caused by certain papilloma virus strains not your choice of vegetable oil so if you prefer olive or soy or peanut or cocoa for EXTERNAL APPLICATION ONLY you should he fine. And get your kids the papilloma vaccine. Warts don't come from toads.

14 Nov 2012 03:51 AM
DeltaPunch     

OscarTamerz: Warts don't come from toads.


Have sex with a toad that has genital warts and get back to me.

/SHE TOLD ME I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

14 Nov 2012 04:09 AM
TiMthisIS     
So he didn't mind an illegal clinic pumping olive oil into his junk but he was too embarrassed for real care when he got a cut and infection in the same area?

Makes sense.

14 Nov 2012 04:18 AM
Max Awesome     
Reads story.

Reads thread.

Reads links in thread.

Kills self.

14 Nov 2012 04:34 AM
Agarista     

real_kibo: fusillade762: I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.

This isn't the story in question, but it's a motor oil story with symptoms worth quoting:

Squamous cell carcinoma of the scrotum in a Nigerian: case report

-> On examination he was pale, had a foulsmelling, grotesque, fungating, ulcero-proliferative mass with rolled edges which involved the whole scrotum and proximal third of the penile shaft, 

Rolled edges! Classy.

More scrotal oil mishaps for your reading enjoyment. Here's mineral oil:

Disseminated lipogranulomas and sudden death from self-administered mineral oil injection.

Or transmission fluid:

Sclerosing lipogranulomatosis: a case report of scrotal injection of automobile transmission fluid and literature review of subcutaneous injection of oils. 

Or WD40:

The successful urological management of self-injection of Petroleum Distillate (WD40 TM) to the scrotum

("Well, at least my balls no longer squeak.")

Doesn't anyone just use Nutella any more? They wouldn't call it "Nutella" if it wasn't meant to go inside there.


Thanks!
Every now and again, I no longer mourn the passing of rotten and ogrish.
A lovely combination of two sick-ish fascinations: the insides of creatures, and the results of self-inflicted, intentional human stupidity.

Today is going to be awesome!

14 Nov 2012 04:46 AM
AmbassadorBooze     
Are any of the other guys reading this thread getting that weird psycosomatic response where you nuts hurt(in you mind) when you see another guy get kicked in the nuts?

14 Nov 2012 04:46 AM
Apos     
An insecure gentleman named Dwight
Is currently lamenting his plight
For,you see, as a kick,
He enlarged his own dick-
But sadly,failed to do it with
www.edguider.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 04:56 AM
starsrift     
Cancer? Is this a mistranslation, and it should be "gangrene", or something?

14 Nov 2012 05:02 AM
hubris73     

Emposter: "His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut"

So it was bigger, yes?

In any event, the article doesn't seem to indicate if any of the dude's problems actually had anything to do with the injection.


EXACTLY ^THIS^

Listen folks, I have been injecting no less than a quart of olive oil into my dong every week for a year and a half, and guess what...NO CANCER! For those of you keeping score thats: Cancer - 0 My Greasy dong - 1. Not only that, but my girlfriend no longer complains when I jerk off on her salads...

14 Nov 2012 05:07 AM
Gordon Bennett     

harrydorcas: He is probably a British man who is fond of casinos and gambling. Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to have huge dicks as study says.


Not "have."

Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to be huge dicks.

14 Nov 2012 05:08 AM
John Hopoate     
FTFA "Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus, allowing him to control his urine, but they are not optimistic about his future."

Yeah cause peeing through my but would really make me optomistic

www.lolwtfcomics.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 05:10 AM
hammettman     
This seems relevant

14 Nov 2012 05:18 AM
JerseyTim     
Fargin bastages!

14 Nov 2012 05:50 AM
Nick Nostril     
Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn of the Police General Hospital said the man underwent a procedure to enlarge his penis at an illegal clinic about five years ago.

Ketchup porn. Rule 34 invoked.

/ 57 varieties, I hear

14 Nov 2012 06:23 AM
Jon iz teh kewl     
i bet that time in between the olive oil injection and the infection was AWESOME sex. in fact he got his girl to even stay with him because his dick was big enough

14 Nov 2012 06:46 AM
stuhayes2010     
It takes years to get cancer, not cut followed by olive oil would instantly cause cancer.

14 Nov 2012 07:04 AM
freewill    [TotalFark]  
How about "His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut," and that was just the start

So it worked?

14 Nov 2012 07:32 AM
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