Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

Bangkok Post

/I'll say

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

Note to self: do not go to Taco Bell with that guy.

possibly fatal genital infection

Popeye must be pissed.

Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn

Wut

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

Jesus H. Christ. I've been laughing for at least a good minute and I don't know if it's because I'm tired or this is the funniest thing I've read all week.

jeez, when I want to enlarge it i just rub the olive oil on my....hey now wait a minute here

This is why you always use Synthol, and not olive oil, to increase mass.

"His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut"

So it was bigger, yes?

In any event, the article doesn't seem to indicate if any of the dude's problems actually had anything to do with the injection.

I'd imagine he's not the only guy to have had something like this done. Think about all those other poor mother farkers out there who read this, gulped and slowly looked down.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bangkok Post

/I'll say

shakes tiny fist!!!

working in a hospital, had a patient last week whose testes had swollen to the size of half an american football.

csb

I can't imagine ever injecting anything into my genitals. Ever. For any reason. Even if I was hung like a mosquito, I'd never think to stick a needle full of mystery cock serum into my junk. Poor guy.

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

I wish someone would tell my roommate's friends that.

so, Virgin or Extra Virgin?

Omahawg: jeez, when I want to enlarge it i just rub the olive oil on my....hey now wait a minute here

A patient once told his doctor he wanted a larger penis so the doctor told him the best way for that to happen is to rub cooking oil on his member once a day before going to bed.

After the first week of applying the cooking oil, the patient noticed his member getting what appeared to be smaller not larger.

after the second week the patient definitely noticed his member was indeed getting smaller, so he went back to the doctor....

"Doctor, doctor... yah gotta help me!!! I've done just as you told me to do... I've been rubbing my penis with cooking oil and it keeps getting smaller, not larger... Help!!!!"

The doctor seemed puzzled for a moment as to why the treatment wasn't working and then asked his patient, "What brand of cooking oil are you using?"'

The patient replied, "Crisco oil."

The doctor immediately said, "Well, there's your answer, you're using shortening oil."





/Bah



//Dah



///Bing!

Just don't use Crisco--it's shortening.

Man enlarges penis, gets cancer

He is probably a British man who is fond of casinos and gambling. Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to have huge dicks as study says.

2xhelix: Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus

This means squat.

OK. Dammit. You get my first use of the "funny" button. Well done!

/HA!

And the "Smart" button.

So the guy says to the Eastern doctor, "Doc, all the Americans say my condition is incurable, and they have to cut my penis off."

"Ah, Western medicine," the doctor sniffs. "All they want to do is cut, cut, cut! Not necessary."

"Whew," the dude says. "So what do I do?

"You wait two weeks, young man. Then penis fall off all by itself!"

I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.

I'll be right back, I need to tell my penis I love it.

Dr. Kittisup-porn? Is that like when you watch ceiling cat masturbate?

You guys act like coconut sized genitalia is a bad thing. Trust me it's not.

Olive oil causes cancer!?

So it worked for 5 years and then he got an infected cut and didn't treat it....musta been the olive oil.

I heard that Popeye was worried about all that salt water rusting his junk, so he stuck it in olive oil

Ok. I saw the word Bangkok in the link to the article and started laughing.

No. I'm not done yet.

untaken_name: So it worked for 5 years and then he got an infected cut and didn't treat it....musta been the olive oil.

This^

/Also for future reference if you cut your dick and it starts to swell go see a fracking doctor. Your junk should not get all swollen without some external agitation being applied at the time of said swelling.

fusillade762: I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.

This isn't the story in question, but it's a motor oil story with symptoms worth quoting:

Squamous cell carcinoma of the scrotum in a Nigerian: case report

-> On examination he was pale, had a foulsmelling, grotesque, fungating, ulcero-proliferative mass with rolled edges which involved the whole scrotum and proximal third of the penile shaft, 

Rolled edges! Classy.

More scrotal oil mishaps for your reading enjoyment. Here's mineral oil:

Disseminated lipogranulomas and sudden death from self-administered mineral oil injection.

Or transmission fluid:

Sclerosing lipogranulomatosis: a case report of scrotal injection of automobile transmission fluid and literature review of subcutaneous injection of oils. 

Or WD40:

The successful urological management of self-injection of Petroleum Distillate (WD40 TM) to the scrotum

("Well, at least my balls no longer squeak.")

Doesn't anyone just use Nutella any more? They wouldn't call it "Nutella" if it wasn't meant to go inside there.

Penile cancers in men like cervical cancers in women are usually caused by certain papilloma virus strains not your choice of vegetable oil so if you prefer olive or soy or peanut or cocoa for EXTERNAL APPLICATION ONLY you should he fine. And get your kids the papilloma vaccine. Warts don't come from toads.

OscarTamerz: Warts don't come from toads.

Have sex with a toad that has genital warts and get back to me.

_{/SHE TOLD ME I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT}

So he didn't mind an illegal clinic pumping olive oil into his junk but he was too embarrassed for real care when he got a cut and infection in the same area?

Makes sense.

Reads story.

Reads thread.

Reads links in thread.

Kills self.

real_kibo: fusillade762: I can still remember reading a story in a medical journal about a guy who'd heard about increasing scrotum size with saline injections. He decided to go DIY with motor oil and a modified Windex bottle. There were pictures, even.

I wish I had taken a copy of that story because I can't find it online anywhere.

This isn't the story in question, but it's a motor oil story with symptoms worth quoting:

Squamous cell carcinoma of the scrotum in a Nigerian: case report

-> On examination he was pale, had a foulsmelling, grotesque, fungating, ulcero-proliferative mass with rolled edges which involved the whole scrotum and proximal third of the penile shaft, 

Rolled edges! Classy.

More scrotal oil mishaps for your reading enjoyment. Here's mineral oil:

Disseminated lipogranulomas and sudden death from self-administered mineral oil injection.

Or transmission fluid:

Sclerosing lipogranulomatosis: a case report of scrotal injection of automobile transmission fluid and literature review of subcutaneous injection of oils. 

Or WD40:

The successful urological management of self-injection of Petroleum Distillate (WD40 TM) to the scrotum

("Well, at least my balls no longer squeak.")

Doesn't anyone just use Nutella any more? They wouldn't call it "Nutella" if it wasn't meant to go inside there.

Thanks!
Every now and again, I no longer mourn the passing of rotten and ogrish.
A lovely combination of two sick-ish fascinations: the insides of creatures, and the results of self-inflicted, intentional human stupidity.

Today is going to be awesome!

Are any of the other guys reading this thread getting that weird psycosomatic response where you nuts hurt(in you mind) when you see another guy get kicked in the nuts?

An insecure gentleman named Dwight
Is currently lamenting his plight
For,you see, as a kick,
He enlarged his own dick-
But sadly,failed to do it with

Cancer? Is this a mistranslation, and it should be "gangrene", or something?

Emposter: "His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut"

So it was bigger, yes?

In any event, the article doesn't seem to indicate if any of the dude's problems actually had anything to do with the injection.

EXACTLY ^THIS^

Listen folks, I have been injecting no less than a quart of olive oil into my dong every week for a year and a half, and guess what...NO CANCER! For those of you keeping score thats: Cancer - 0 My Greasy dong - 1. Not only that, but my girlfriend no longer complains when I jerk off on her salads...

harrydorcas: He is probably a British man who is fond of casinos and gambling. Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to have huge dicks as study says.

Not "have."

Gamblers in the UK have inclinations to be huge dicks.

FTFA "Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus, allowing him to control his urine, but they are not optimistic about his future."

Yeah cause peeing through my but would really make me optomistic

This seems relevant

Fargin bastages!

Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn of the Police General Hospital said the man underwent a procedure to enlarge his penis at an illegal clinic about five years ago.

Ketchup porn. Rule 34 invoked.

/ 57 varieties, I hear

i bet that time in between the olive oil injection and the infection was AWESOME sex. in fact he got his girl to even stay with him because his dick was big enough

It takes years to get cancer, not cut followed by olive oil would instantly cause cancer.

How about "His genitalia had swollen to the size of a coconut," and that was just the start

So it worked?