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   Apparently CNN's readers are too dumb to know what a solar eclipse is. From the main page: "What causes this remarkable event?" What indeed

14 Nov 2012 10:11 AM   |   5312 clicks   |   CNN
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Gulper Eel    [TotalFark]  
It's caused when Cheech goes to the theatre and sits behind the guy with the Darnell Hillman afro.

14 Nov 2012 08:33 AM
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Cythraul     
It's caused by magnets.

14 Nov 2012 08:40 AM
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Aarontology    [TotalFark]  
This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.

14 Nov 2012 08:40 AM
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Generation_D    [TotalFark]  
And here I thought everyone spent a few years being fascinated with star charts and planetary phenomena. No?

14 Nov 2012 08:56 AM
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.

14 Nov 2012 09:03 AM
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HST's Dead Carcass     

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.


The word of the Lord is not Mouth Drooling Ignorance! The bible tells us that Moses darkened the sky, and I suppose you're here to tell us all it was just an eclipse and the writers of the bible embellished the length of time to make God seem more powerful than he was for propaganda to make them join the religion? Pshaw, yeah right! What did they have to gain from this aside from power, money and influence? Get your facts straight!

14 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
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NewportBarGuy    [TotalFark]  

Cythraul: It's caused by magnets.


How do they work?

14 Nov 2012 09:23 AM
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Sybarite    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.



Shhh!

www.naderlibrary.com

14 Nov 2012 09:28 AM
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Jubeebee     
M-O-O-N, that spells CNN.

14 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
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ArkAngel    [TotalFark]  
img.metro.co.uk

Mr. Burns

14 Nov 2012 10:06 AM
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Lumpmoose     
CNN providing science education? More please. Especially compared to their usual 24-hour dreck.

14 Nov 2012 10:11 AM
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Counter_Intelligent     
Clearly we need to do way instain moon.

14 Nov 2012 10:12 AM
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porcupine tree     
farking eclipses, how do they work?

14 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
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untaken_name     

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.


You mean like when people don't know how to use hyphens?

14 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
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Shmeat     
CHA

14 Nov 2012 10:14 AM
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jayhawk88    [TotalFark]  

ArkAngel: [img.metro.co.uk image 636x336]

Mr. Burns


24.media.tumblr.com

Wrong Simpson's reference.

14 Nov 2012 10:15 AM
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quantum_csc     
Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.

14 Nov 2012 10:17 AM
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PsyLord     
It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.

14 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
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Sail The Wide Accountancy     

Pocket Ninja: You know, it's not that I don't believe that there a lot dumb people reading CNN, because there are, but if the confusion is based around not being entirely sure of the distinction between a "lunar" and a "solar" eclipse, I'm inclined to forgive that as somewhat legitimate confusion.

If the confusion stems from the word "eclipse," though, and encompasses a mindset built around the vague notion that some great demon goat is eating the sun, well, that's a different story.


I agree. Not with the goat thing. That had nothing to do with an eclipse and everything to do with a dirty pay phone...

but I digress. If the problem is not being able to clearly visualize why it doesn't happen more often, or how one would go about knowing when it will happen, or even why an eclipse would take away your super powers, I could understand wanting to know more. Plus even if somebody DOESN'T know what an eclipse is, why would you get upset that CNN is telling them?

14 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
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MaliFinn    [TotalFark]  
i208.photobucket.com

14 Nov 2012 10:18 AM
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roughridersfan     
It happens when a dragon eats the sun. We make a lot of noise by banging pots and pans. Eventually the dragon gets scared off by the noise and spits out the sun.

14 Nov 2012 10:19 AM
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RamboFrog     
I tried to watch a solar eclipse once but I picked a bad spot. The moon was in the way.

14 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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Cheron     
Next on CNN what happens when one side of the Earth blocks the sun, when you can expect it to happen, how to prepare and the technical term for it.

14 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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This text is now purple     

PsyLord: It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.


I was always curious how that was supposed to work.

The sacrifice was to bring the sun back, right? But eclipses only last a couple of minutes. Those priests must have been just itching to sacrifice someone, what with sacrifice, altar, and sharpened knives just waiting for some transient calamity to provide an excuse for a quick vivisection.

Because if you just dally too long, the sun comes back on its own. 

\Then again, it's not like virgins are good for anything else

14 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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Random Anonymous Blackmail     
Maybe, just maybe CNN panders to the lowest common denominator. I am waiting for the article "Everybody Poops"

14 Nov 2012 10:20 AM
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smitty04     

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


People would find Snookie more interesting. Sad.

14 Nov 2012 10:22 AM
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Shadowtag     

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


On the internet? My word, what a brilliant concept. I simply must subscribe to your newsletter.

14 Nov 2012 10:23 AM
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JackieRabbit     
Bullshiat. Every one knows that an eclipse is the result of the gods being angry for our having failed to sacrifice a virgin on a regular basis. Eclipses bring pestilence and death to the derelicts. Stupid CNN.

/we used to learn this stuff in the 4th grade

14 Nov 2012 10:23 AM
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The Repeated Meme     

quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.


THIS

/you can't feed a baby steak

14 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
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signaljammer     
Samuel Clemens was born during a visit from Haley's comet and died during the next. In 1959, when I was born, Venus occulted Regulus. Wonder if I will be around for the next time, 2044.

14 Nov 2012 10:25 AM
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Vegan Meat Popsicle     

Brockman: All Springfielders should now move off the streets and inside their homes. Please avoid the superstitious panic that marked the recent lunar eclipse.
[a picture of Homer rioting, standing on Abraham Simpson is shown]

Homer: Heheh. Sorry dad. I was afraid the dragon wouldn't cough the moon back up.

Grampa: You idgit! The dragon always coughs the moon back up!

14 Nov 2012 10:26 AM
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signaljammer     
PsyLord
It's caused by your GOD demanding a virgin sacrifice, preferably on an altar. Throwing her into a volcano is also acceptable.
Fresh outta virgins 'round here!

14 Nov 2012 10:27 AM
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GoGoGadgetLiver     
True story:

Mars rover send back picture of martian sunset.

Facebook reply: Wow, I didn't know mars had a sun too! That's beautiful!

14 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
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LDM90     

signaljammer: Samuel Clemens was born during a visit from Haley's comet and died during the next. In 1959, when I was born, Venus occulted Regulus. Wonder if I will be around for the next time, 2044.


Nah, you'll probably be dead, LOL

14 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
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cgraves67     
An eclipse is caused when you stop providing food to Christopher Columbus and his god becomes angry and turns the moon red in His rage.

14 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
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TheGogmagog     

The Repeated Meme: quantum_csc: Cut them some slack, at least they are trying to educate. I wish there was more basic science knowledge conveyed to people on a daily basis.

THIS

/you can't feed a baby steak


You could serve me a baby steak though, and I'll feed myself.

/I'll be here all week, try the...

14 Nov 2012 10:30 AM
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Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo     
I thought a giant wolf ate the sun chariot.

14 Nov 2012 10:30 AM
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rufus-t-firefly     

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Maybe, just maybe CNN panders to the lowest common denominator. I am waiting for the article "Everybody Poops"


They're making a move to take Fox News' viewers.

14 Nov 2012 10:32 AM
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MythDragon     
What an Umbra might look like.

livedoor.blogimg.jp
A sexy goth-librarian Umbra.

/Don't fark with a witch. 
//Especially an Umbra witch.

14 Nov 2012 10:35 AM
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RTFA     
The Sun is there.

14 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
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david_gaithersburg     
1 in 4 people in the US can't identify the planet Earth, this may just confuse them even more.

14 Nov 2012 10:36 AM
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DeathCipris     
www.freescapes.net

14 Nov 2012 10:40 AM
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groppet     
I think I will run for office and have a speech outside during an eclipse and tell them to vote for me or I wont bring back the sun. Ill stay in office forever!! I like lunar ones more since ya dont need a welders goggles to look at it.

14 Nov 2012 10:41 AM
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Loucifer     
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue.

content9.flixster.com

14 Nov 2012 10:42 AM
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Jon iz teh kewl     
do u like eclipse?
lets play eclipse
knocking down the pins
and get hot communication

14 Nov 2012 10:42 AM
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Valiente     

Aarontology: This is what happens when a significant portion of the population disdains knowledge in favor of mouth drooling ignorance.



Dude, the election's over. Give it a rest.

14 Nov 2012 10:44 AM
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uttertosh    [TotalFark]  

MythDragon: What an Umbra might look like.


Is that supposed to be, like, and anti-Palin or something?

14 Nov 2012 10:48 AM
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ZMugg     
images.wikia.com

Wanted for questioning.

14 Nov 2012 10:49 AM
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hogans     
Turn around, bright eyes.

14 Nov 2012 10:49 AM
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uttertosh    [TotalFark]  

Valiente: Dude, the election's over. Give it a rest.


?!?

I thought his comment was spot on. Election, or totalitarian rule.

14 Nov 2012 10:50 AM
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