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   If you're going to blow the whistle on an adulterous relationship with a senior government official, you might want to make sure you aren't running a major cancer charity scam at the same time. We're looking at you, Jill "Catfight" Kelley

14 Nov 2012 11:53 AM   |   16579 clicks   |   Huffington Post
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Pocket Ninja    [TotalFark]  
I think we've reached the Boat Point of this story, which is the point at which the entire thing has become so ridiculous that the only rational solution remaining is to gather everyone even tangentially involved, put them on a boat, sail it out into the middle of the Pacific, and sink it. Sink it deep.

14 Nov 2012 08:38 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  
Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.

14 Nov 2012 08:46 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
Well none of this would be an issue if Petraeus hadn't stuck his dick in crazy.

14 Nov 2012 08:52 AM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  
Dammit, now I want to start a charity!

14 Nov 2012 08:58 AM
I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  
And yet I can't get Top Secret clearance.

14 Nov 2012 08:59 AM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
I think the most important question at this point is which one will Susan Lucci play?

14 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
Doctor Funkenstein    [TotalFark]  
It really is amazing how much shiat can go down when a dude tries to get some tang. Ladies, that's how amazing your pussy is. One just wrecked a general and we're still going to come back for more.

14 Nov 2012 09:06 AM
NowhereMon     
She sounds like most of the country club Republicans I know: living spectacularly beyond their means, up to their ears in debt, marital infidelity is the norm, and willing to do almost anything to keep up appearances. Permeating all of this is the attitude that they are better than the unwashed lower classes (even though their net worth is less than most people on welfare) and that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. To hobnob with public figure of note, a general or a politician is like a wet dream, a confirmation of the fantasy that they are someone.

Losers, all of them.

Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.

14 Nov 2012 09:07 AM
Paris1127    [TotalFark]  

Diogenes: I think the most important question at this point is which one will Susan Lucci play?


thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.comView Full Size


Broadwell?

14 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
Mangoose     

Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the Boat Point of this story, which is the point at which the entire thing has become so ridiculous that the only rational solution remaining is to gather everyone even tangentially involved, put them on a boat, sail it out into the middle of the Pacific, and sink it. Sink it deep.


I thought this was the army, not the navy?

14 Nov 2012 10:06 AM
Mentat    [TotalFark]  

Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.


It sounds like a lot of brass are palling around with these bimbos.

14 Nov 2012 10:13 AM
halfof33     

NowhereMon: She sounds like most of the country club Republicans I know: living spectacularly beyond their means, up to their ears in debt, marital infidelity is the norm, and willing to do almost anything to keep up appearances. Permeating all of this is the attitude that they are better than the unwashed lower classes (even though their net worth is less than most people on welfare) and that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. To hobnob with public figure of note, a general or a politician is like a wet dream, a confirmation of the fantasy that they are someone.

Losers, all of them.

Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.


I'm an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability, so you should take your trolling to the Broadwell Tab.

14 Nov 2012 10:24 AM
UberDave    [TotalFark]  

Doctor Funkenstein: It really is amazing how much shiat can go down when a dude tries to get some tang. Ladies, that's how amazing your pussy is. One just wrecked a general and we're still going to come back for more.


Well, the more I read about this, the more this Broadwell chick sounds like a sociopath. Not that the general wasn't stupid in this case but sociopaths know how to find people who they can "charm" and work those people for all they're worth.

14 Nov 2012 10:40 AM
czei    [TotalFark]  

Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.


According to the NYT, Jill and Scott Kelly treated the military guys to a lavish lifestyle, running up a huge debt in the process....

"The Kelleys were known for their lavish parties, with extravagant buffets, flowing Champagne, valet parking and cigars for guests from nearby MacDill Air Force Base"

"Records show that Ms. Kelley and her husband, a doctor, have been subject to a string of lawsuits over debts, according to a report in The Tampa Bay Times, which said the Kelleys owed a bank nearly $2.2 million, including attorney fees, on a building they own. They also ran a cancer charity, which appears to be defunct. A 2007 tax filing, the latest available, shows the charity raised $157,284 that year, but spent just $58,417 on program services..."

graphics8.nytimes.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 10:40 AM
SlothB77    [TotalFark]  
maybe the 'grant wishes to terminally ill adult cancer patients' was 'parties, entertainment, travel'?

14 Nov 2012 10:48 AM
clownyclownzomby    [TotalFark]  

NowhereMon: She sounds like most of the country club Republicans I know: living spectacularly beyond their means, up to their ears in debt, marital infidelity is the norm, and willing to do almost anything to keep up appearances. Permeating all of this is the attitude that they are better than the unwashed lower classes (even though their net worth is less than most people on welfare) and that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. To hobnob with public figure of note, a general or a politician is like a wet dream, a confirmation of the fantasy that they are someone.

Losers, all of them.

Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.


I interact with a fair amount of these people when representing them in divorce matters. The "living beyond their means" statement is very true. The majority of them live in great fear of the general public finding out how much money they don't have. That is the main reason why they have their divorce decrees sealed from public view (when most of us would do the same for privacy issues or to protect sensitive financial information.) Just a thought.

14 Nov 2012 11:31 AM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
That's nice. Horrible people tend to congregate towards each other. Let's keep it that way, mmkay?

14 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
fluffy2097     
I don't have a violin small enough for these two.

The CIA wants to read my e-mail without a warrant but gets upset when their director gets caught having affairs via e-mail.

It's also hard for me to feel bad about a biatch being crazy getting busted by drawing attention to herself.

14 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
usernameguy     
This is turning into Burn After Reading territory.

/Bring out the dildo chairs.

14 Nov 2012 11:56 AM
Hoselman     
With winter just starting, they have one heck of a snowbal started

14 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
basemetal    [TotalFark]  

NowhereMon: She sounds like most of the country club Republicans I know: living spectacularly beyond their means, up to their ears in debt, marital infidelity is the norm, and willing to do almost anything to keep up appearances. Permeating all of this is the attitude that they are better than the unwashed lower classes (even though their net worth is less than most people on welfare) and that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. To hobnob with public figure of note, a general or a politician is like a wet dream, a confirmation of the fantasy that they are someone.

Losers, all of them.



I know several of those people.

14 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Magorn    [TotalFark]  

UberDave: Doctor Funkenstein: It really is amazing how much shiat can go down when a dude tries to get some tang. Ladies, that's how amazing your pussy is. One just wrecked a general and we're still going to come back for more.

Well, the more I read about this, the more this Broadwell chick sounds like a sociopath. Not that the general wasn't stupid in this case but sociopaths know how to find people who they can "charm" and work those people for all they're worth.


I'm STILL trying to figure out how this basic nobody managed to not only land a book contract but one that included the services of a ghost-writer. If you are a famous name and a publisher wants you to "write" a book, a ghost is almost a given. But what made Broadwell's name so worth having on the cover of "All in" that she got the cash for a book someone else wrote? Why not have had the ghost as the actual author? Something tells me Petraeus wasn;t the first famous and powerful man she slept with to get what she wanted.

14 Nov 2012 12:01 PM
Jake Havechek     
When are the lesbian sex tapes coming out?

14 Nov 2012 12:02 PM
Walker    [TotalFark]  

Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the Boat Point of this story, which is the point at which the entire thing has become so ridiculous that the only rational solution remaining is to gather everyone even tangentially involved, put them on a boat, sail it out into the middle of the Pacific, and sink it. Sink it deep.


img.photobucket.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
KatjaMouse     
If you were to pitch this whole thing to a Hollywood exec he'd shoot you down as there's no way the audience could suspend their disbelief for it.

14 Nov 2012 12:04 PM
SoupJohnB     
This shiat never happened to Bond.

/James

14 Nov 2012 12:05 PM
factoryconnection    [TotalFark]  

Magorn: Why not have had the ghost as the actual author?


In his own admission, he had neither the access nor the inclination to follow Petraeus around Kabul; he did his work, safe in his home office in Maryland. He's a professional writer, she's a professional soldier-cum-salesman happy to run around in a combat zone.

14 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
factoryconnection    [TotalFark]  

KatjaMouse: If you were to pitch this whole thing to a Hollywood exec he'd shoot you down as there's no way the audience could suspend their disbelief for it.


I just hope that when they make this into a movie, they go with hilarious Schadenfreude-spewing satire instead of Lifetime melodrama.

14 Nov 2012 12:08 PM
lelio     

NowhereMon: Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.


This will all make sense when it is revealed that Jill is actually a Madam. You think that military men want to go to parties in "high society" Tampa for the conversation?

14 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

I_C_Weener: And yet I can't get Top Secret clearance.


Exactly this.

I got all altruistic the other day after watching the hurricane cleanup and went over to USAJOBS to surf around. I found a motor vehicle operator job at FEMA that required the candidate to be able to perform janitorial skills, paid something like $17 bucks an hour, and required a Top Secret clearance.
Very funny and just another reason we're farked.

/I won't ever qualify for a clearance for various reasons, not the least of which is that I'm not an authoritarian follower.

14 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
cryinoutloud     
Crazy narcissistic biatch, and probably so is Broadwell. You'd think that highly ranked military guys would have some training in avoiding people like this, but oh no, psychology is bullshiat--they're generals and they control the world. They have the weapons of mass destruction and the power to use them.

Well, they both just got a lesson in those little weapons of mass destruction--crazy people. Ruining everything, one person at a time. And then they (usually) just walk away.

/Why yes, I do have some trust issues

14 Nov 2012 12:10 PM
GrizzlyPouch     

NowhereMon: She sounds like most of the country club Republicans I know: living spectacularly beyond their means, up to their ears in debt, marital infidelity is the norm, and willing to do almost anything to keep up appearances. Permeating all of this is the attitude that they are better than the unwashed lower classes (even though their net worth is less than most people on welfare) and that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. To hobnob with public figure of note, a general or a politician is like a wet dream, a confirmation of the fantasy that they are someone.

Losers, all of them.

Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.


How is it that you've come to know all this about these people?

Are you a psychic? A wizard?

O right you're just pulling shiat out your ass

14 Nov 2012 12:12 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     
It's pretty funny what the security & surveillance apparatus found when it was shoved up its own ass.

/At the highest levels of the military and secret government agencies, no less.

14 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
Snort     
This story just keeps on going and going.

At what point does it topple the Washington Monument due to the fake cement scandal?

14 Nov 2012 12:13 PM
lelio     

HotIgneous Intruder: required the candidate to be able to perform janitorial skills, paid something like $17 bucks an hour, and required a Top Secret clearance.


This type of job is for the moron ex-military office and worker brother in law of someone that manages the joint. Why look we only have one applicant for this job so we have to hire him!

14 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  

factoryconnection: Magorn: Why not have had the ghost as the actual author?

In his own admission, he had neither the access nor the inclination to follow Petraeus around Kabul; he did his work, safe in his home office in Maryland. He's a professional writer, she's a professional soldier-cum-salesman happy to run around in a combat zone.


requoted for emphasis.

14 Nov 2012 12:14 PM
jgilb     

Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.


Maybe we need to stop worshiping the military and start treating them as just another government employee.

14 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick     

jgilb: Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.

Maybe we need to stop worshiping the military and start treating them as just another government employee.


Heresy!

14 Nov 2012 12:16 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

lelio: HotIgneous Intruder: required the candidate to be able to perform janitorial skills, paid something like $17 bucks an hour, and required a Top Secret clearance.

This type of job is for the moron ex-military office and worker brother in law of someone that manages the joint. Why look we only have one applicant for this job so we have to hire him!


Exactly what I was thinking.
Dumb Cousin Earle who wiped down missiles in the Army has a good gubmint job for life now.

14 Nov 2012 12:16 PM
ristst     

Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos


Bailiff: Leslie Harwell, how do you plead?
Harwell: I plead INSANITY!
Bailiff: Insanity???
Harwell: That's right, INSANITY! I'm just CRAZY about that stuff!

Judge: Mr. Harwell, this is not the first time you have appeared before this court on such a charge, and we must make sure you do not appear here again. Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!

14 Nov 2012 12:17 PM
Valiente     
This business will get out of control! It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it!

14 Nov 2012 12:17 PM
Rapmaster2000     
Who the fark are these people? What the fark is this?

14 Nov 2012 12:20 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

jgilb: Generation_D: Why is the head of our armed forces and CIA palling around with these bimbos.

How you act when no-one's looking tells a lot.

Maybe we need to stop worshiping the military and start treating them as just another government employee.


But they are HEROESSSSSSSS and are keeping us SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFEEEE!

14 Nov 2012 12:21 PM
Rapmaster2000     

lelio: NowhereMon: Petraeus should have known better than to get mixed up in all of that.

This will all make sense when it is revealed that Jill is actually a Madam. You think that military men want to go to parties in "high society" Tampa for the conversation?


Mind blown. That's farking it.

14 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
DoBeDoBeDo     

fluffy2097: I don't have a violin small enough for these two.

The CIA wants to read my e-mail without a warrant but gets upset when their director gets caught having affairs via e-mail.

.


From what I understand Patreaus wasn't well liked at the CIA, so I don't think they are "upset" that he got caught.

One of the late night hosts actually had a joke about not having an affair when the spies you manage don't like you.

14 Nov 2012 12:22 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

Rapmaster2000: Who the fark are these people? What the fark is this?


This chick ran an unpaid whorehouse for senior officers at McDill Air Force Base, CENTCOM Headquarters. Nothing to see here. There's a war on, you know. It's war time.

14 Nov 2012 12:23 PM
factoryconnection    [TotalFark]  

Generation_D: requoted for emphasis.


A delightful coincidence, but not one that snuck past me.

Rapmaster2000: Mind blown. That's farking it.


No, no, no... if she was a Madam she'd be making some serious coin, not broke and immersed in debt although not as badly as her twin sister. The silver S500 and her look would work for a high-class Madam but the financials don't make sense.

14 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
Koalaesq     

Diogenes: I think the most important question at this point is which one will Susan Lucci play?


Pretty sure George Wendt will play Mrs. Patreus

14 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
lordjupiter     
Hookers and spies.

Bank on it.

14 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
bunner     
While the origins of the seed money used to start the charity in 2007 are unclear, financial records reviewed by The Huffington Post reveal that the group spent all of its money not on research, but on parties, entertainment, travel and attorney fees.

Organized charities are what bored, rich women use to fund their social whirl.

Almost none of it ever goes to the needy.

You wanna help? See who needs help, find those motherf*ckers and hand them the sammiches, blankets and money in person. The odds of any other method working are slim.

14 Nov 2012 12:28 PM
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