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   Hard-hitting journalists at Philly.com ask the tough questions like "what was General Patraeus' mistress like in high school?"

14 Nov 2012 09:04 AM   |   3194 clicks   |   Philly.com
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Cythraul     
She was probably voted "Most likely to become a home-wrecker" in the yearbook.

14 Nov 2012 08:31 AM
TIKIMAN87     
She likes ass to mouth.

Sometimes thats ok.

14 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
SkylineRecords     

Cythraul: She was probably voted "Most likely to become a home-wrecker" in the yearbook.


Ba-ZING!

14 Nov 2012 09:07 AM
DoBeDoBeDo     
That's not the mistress.

14 Nov 2012 09:08 AM
JackieRabbit     
I think the media is making more out of this "scandal" than the FBI. No one should give a flying fark, except, of course, Mrs. Patraeus.

14 Nov 2012 09:12 AM
sodomizer     
Why are we celebrating this media circus?

14 Nov 2012 09:12 AM
Dr.Zom     

DoBeDoBeDo: That's not the mistress.


This thing is confusing enough without misleading headlines.

14 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
netcentric     

DoBeDoBeDo: That's not the mistress.


That's what the CIA wants you to think......

/yeah, you're right she is the unpaid social liason of a military base ???

14 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
Englebert Slaptyback     

General Patraeus


Good job, tardmitter. The name is everywhere in the media and you still cannot spell it correctly. It's even in TFA.

14 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
TheSwizz     

Englebert Slaptyback: General Patraeus


Good job, tardmitter. The name is everywhere in the media and you still cannot spell it correctly. It's even in TFA.


The real spelling was suppressed until after the election.

14 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
socodog     
It matters because she possibly had access to shiatloads of secret information.

14 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
sodomizer     
Most people are whores. They just hide it.

It's the few exceptions that are worth paying attention to.

Reading the news stream here at Fark, it's tempting to become cynical and figure that all people are whores. But that's not the case.

Only the weak ones.

14 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
factoryconnection    [TotalFark]  
That was an important article. It establishes a bright line in my soul, below which I pass knowing that I will damage my human spirit. 95% of that article was below that line, and now I'm sad.

14 Nov 2012 09:20 AM
Valiente     

sodomizer: Why are we celebrating this media circus?


Because America is hooked on the sort of trivia and gossip associated with checkout line mouth-breathing muffin-topped morons.

/not celebrating anything but the schadenfreude.

14 Nov 2012 09:21 AM
stevarooni    [TotalFark]  
The 24/7 news cycle: Once begun, it must run its course; if, in the process, news can't be reported, then resort to trivia. If even that fails...conjecture and finally just repeatedly restating the facts will occur.

:-P

14 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
netcentric     
In High School in Philly she would have to invoke her status as the districts 'honorary consul general' when photographers and such were bothering her at the Prom or Homecoming.

You could always tell her car in the lot, because of the honorary dilomatic plates.

She could request diplomatic immunity to get out of GYM.

Prom Night Photographers needed to be dealt with. So she called police to the Holiday INN Conference Center and ballroom.

"... because I'm an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability, so they should not be able to be at the Holiday INN. I don't know if you want to get diplomatic protection involved as well, she told the 911 dispatcher, who agreed to pass the information along to police."


/jk

14 Nov 2012 09:30 AM
jso2897     

Valiente: sodomizer: Why are we celebrating this media circus?

Because America is hooked on the sort of trivia and gossip associated with checkout line mouth-breathing muffin-topped morons.

/not celebrating anything but the schadenfreude.


People LOVE this shiat - intrigue, power - and SEX!
It's kind of pissing the RWers off. they wanted this to tie into "Benghazi", and become the great-day-in-the-mornin' "scandal" that will bring Obammy down.
To their dismay, all people want to hear about is the f**king, sucking, and romantic intrigue.

14 Nov 2012 09:42 AM
DoBeDoBeDo     

Dr.Zom: DoBeDoBeDo: That's not the mistress.

This thing is confusing enough without misleading headlines.


What's complicated?

Patreaus was banging Broadwell (his biographer)

Jill Kelly (who this article is really about) is a social liason to the military so also had contact with Patreaus and other military brass.

Broadwell thinks Kelly is flirting with Patreaus and sends her some threatening emails

Kelly reports to FBI, FBI investigate

Kelly's emails also include flirty emails from Gen. Allen

So we know Patreaus was boning Broadwell
Broadwell threatened Kelly
Allen was flirting with Kelly

14 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
DoBeDoBeDo     
Whoops forgot one, FBI guy that Kelly contacted had sent Kelly shirtless pics and lots of flirty emails too.

14 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
Shazam999     

DoBeDoBeDo: Dr.Zom: DoBeDoBeDo: That's not the mistress.

This thing is confusing enough without misleading headlines.

What's complicated?

Patreaus was banging Broadwell (his biographer)

Jill Kelly (who this article is really about) is a social liason to the military so also had contact with Patreaus and other military brass.

Broadwell thinks Kelly is flirting with Patreaus and sends her some threatening emails

Kelly reports to FBI, FBI investigate

Kelly's emails also include flirty emails from Gen. Allen

So we know Patreaus was boning Broadwell
Broadwell threatened Kelly
Allen was flirting with Kelly


The Aristrocats!!

14 Nov 2012 09:49 AM
HotIgneous Intruder     

netcentric: /yeah, you're right she is the unpaid social liason of a military base ???


Unpaid social liaison.
Is that what they call them nowadays?

/Imperial courtier has a better ring to it.

14 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
netcentric     

DoBeDoBeDo: Dr.Zom: DoBeDoBeDo: That's not the mistress.

This thing is confusing enough without misleading headlines.

What's complicated?

Patreaus was banging Broadwell (his biographer)

Jill Kelly (who this article is really about) is a social liason to the military so also had contact with Patreaus and other military brass.

Broadwell thinks Kelly is flirting with Patreaus and sends her some threatening emails

Kelly reports to FBI, FBI investigate

Kelly's emails also include flirty emails from Gen. Allen

So we know Patreaus was boning Broadwell
Broadwell threatened Kelly
Allen was flirting with Kelly




Now, if you are an American Government employee in say Libya for example. And it's night. Very dark. And people are firing guns, RPG's and Mortars at you....

....which one of these people do you call?

14 Nov 2012 09:52 AM
ristst     
Came here expecting to see examples of what would pass for "mistress in high school".

Leaving disappointed.

14 Nov 2012 09:54 AM
DoBeDoBeDo     

netcentric:
....which one of these people do you call?


I guess that depends on what I'm after

Patreaus if I need out
Broadwell if I need pussy
Kelly if I need cybersex
Allen if I need military help (well not really as that's not his theater I don't think, but it works here)

14 Nov 2012 09:56 AM
fireclown     

HotIgneous Intruder: Unpaid social liaison.
Is that what they call them nowadays?

/Imperial courtier has a better ring to it.



So does "Starfrakker"

14 Nov 2012 09:56 AM
HotIgneous Intruder     
Her maiden name was KA-WHAM!

/He hit that like KA-POW!

14 Nov 2012 09:57 AM
netcentric     

DoBeDoBeDo: netcentric:
....which one of these people do you call?

I guess that depends on what I'm after

Patreaus if I need out
Broadwell if I need pussy
Kelly if I need cybersex
Allen if I need military help (well not really as that's not his theater I don't think, but it works here)




I see exactly what you mean. AfriComm General Hamm, who got fired...should have been sending cybersex emails to Kelly to make sure he was in the loop. Since he was theater command.

And all Gov't employees going into dangerous overseas dilomatic missions should either bang Broadwell before going...or get on the 'unpaid diplomatic liason' cybersex chat list.

That way when they are on fire and about to blow up, they can call Broadwell or Kelly.
Those two would pull the right strings and get some action taken. You know, escalate up the proper chain.

14 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
Space Station Wagon     
Kelley has a nice set.

14 Nov 2012 10:12 AM
maggoo     

sodomizer: Most people are whores. They just hide it.

It's the few exceptions that are worth paying attention to.

Reading the news stream here at Fark, it's tempting to become cynical and figure that all people are whores. But that's not the case.

Only the weak ones.



2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 10:50 AM
maggoo     

HotIgneous Intruder: Unpaid social liaison.
Is that what they call them nowadays?


I guess not, because that would mean they would be paid.

14 Nov 2012 10:52 AM
jaytkay     
Dammit, I wanted to see high school pictures of Patricia Broadwell.

/ You too, I bet

14 Nov 2012 10:58 AM
Dr.Zom     

DoBeDoBeDo: Whoops forgot one...


See?

14 Nov 2012 11:41 AM
alabasterblack    [TotalFark]  
Drrrrrr.
www.screenspy.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 12:07 PM
DoBeDoBeDo     

Dr.Zom: DoBeDoBeDo: Whoops forgot one...

See?


Heh, well I included him in the Boobies, just forgot to mention his shirtless pictures and flirty emails.

14 Nov 2012 12:25 PM
bmalnad     

TIKIMAN87: She likes ass to mouth.

Sometimes thats ok.


No. It's always okay.

14 Nov 2012 12:44 PM
Chevello     
My landlord was right. Moving into this neighborhood puts my kids in a great position to change the world.

Nancy Spungen
Valerie Plame
Terri Schiavo
Arlen Specter
Jack Agnew (Dirty Dozen guy)
Gerry Lenfest (comcast guy)
And now Jill Kelley and her twin sister.

14 Nov 2012 05:51 PM
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