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   Hello Internet. President Obama signed secret directive to help thwart cyberattacks... probably. Shh don't tell anyone

14 Nov 2012 05:32 PM   |   5948 clicks   |   Washington Post
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minoridiot     
Is he sending tanks to take down the Townhall.com servers?

14 Nov 2012 03:09 PM
jigger     
Cyberattacks like stuxnet?

14 Nov 2012 05:40 PM
KrispyKritter     
ancient Chinese secret, huh?

14 Nov 2012 05:43 PM
SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  
Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition

14 Nov 2012 05:45 PM
super_grass     
Translation: we'll just filter out all traffic from China or Russia if Norad has to wait for its youtube videos to load.

14 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
offmymeds     
Wait, isn't the point of something being secret NOT TO TELL ANYONE?

14 Nov 2012 05:48 PM
ProfessorOhki     

SnakeLee: Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition


I don't know, they seem more the Reddit type.

/ducks

14 Nov 2012 05:48 PM
CygnusDarius     

SnakeLee: Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition


I think they have a shiat-ton of other *chan sites to flood when 4chan goes down. Besides, it takes a day to register on Fark, if they haven't done so already.

14 Nov 2012 05:52 PM
moops     

SnakeLee: Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition


Yes. The consequences will never be the same!

/that guy died and the girl went to foster care

14 Nov 2012 05:53 PM
SnakeLee    [TotalFark]  

moops: SnakeLee: Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition

Yes. The consequences will never be the same!

/that guy died and the girl went to foster care


The guy died from a heart attack - that makes sense. It also seems like the girl was in foster care before he died because he hit her. Ugh, that is depressing.

14 Nov 2012 05:56 PM
super_grass     
i3.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 05:56 PM
rogue49     
wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more...

14 Nov 2012 06:00 PM
offmymeds     
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 06:01 PM
uncleacid     
Biden trying to prevent fiber attacks.

14 Nov 2012 06:17 PM
GORDON     
I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

14 Nov 2012 06:19 PM
Sticky Hands     

GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.


sure, but that's only because a little was all we had left.

14 Nov 2012 06:30 PM
ladyfortuna     

ProfessorOhki: SnakeLee: Does this mean I can finally report 4chan to the elite Back-Tracking Division of the Cyber Police? Because fark those guys. Actually, don't report them, because if their site gets taken down they'll all flood Fark like rats fleeing a controlled demolition

I don't know, they seem more the Reddit type.

/ducks


Reddit seems like it's somewhere in the middle... but maybe that's cuz I'm female and they don't take kindly to those standing up for themselves. Tried it out for a couple of weeks, gave up, haven't gone back in six months.

14 Nov 2012 06:38 PM
neenerist     
The critical national infrastructure protected will be at Disney, Universal......

14 Nov 2012 06:43 PM
Hongcouver     
Good, those hacker/modders on Xbox Live are starting to piss me off.

14 Nov 2012 06:55 PM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
The Obamaphiles now have a secret weapon that can instantly "disappear" anybody with the effrontery to criticize their precious Lord and Ma

14 Nov 2012 06:55 PM
Indubitably     
To disappear.

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

We are always found.

14 Nov 2012 07:07 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: To disappear.

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

We are always found.


Or bits of us.

*)

14 Nov 2012 07:08 PM
vegasj     
Does it include allowing him to shut down the internet in the US too?

14 Nov 2012 07:38 PM
boozehat     
Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.

14 Nov 2012 07:43 PM
Gone In 26 Minutes     

boozehat: Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.


What is this I don't even...

14 Nov 2012 07:56 PM
a_feral_duck     

GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.


That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.

14 Nov 2012 08:05 PM
Indubitably     

a_feral_duck: GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.


Violence is not the answer to this crisis.

Has it helped thusfar?

14 Nov 2012 08:09 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: a_feral_duck: GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.

Violence is not the answer to this crisis.

Has it helped thusfar?


Try respect for privacy first.

People demand that which we have lost back.

Give it back.

I mean it.

14 Nov 2012 08:11 PM
Indubitably     

Indubitably: Indubitably: a_feral_duck: GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.

Violence is not the answer to this crisis.

Has it helped thusfar?

Try respect for privacy first.

People demand that which we have lost back.

Give it back.

I mean it.


Mr. President: Give it back, please. Thank you, Sir. *bow*

14 Nov 2012 08:13 PM
DerpHerder     

boozehat: Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.


Are you for serious? You just made the headache I already way worse. Changing your MAC address is useful for avoiding bans on websites and game serves (unless you really pissed them off and they ban your range which the isp assigned you). They know all the pr0n you look at! Get out now they're coming for you!

14 Nov 2012 08:38 PM
KrispyKritter     

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: a_feral_duck: GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.

Violence is not the answer to this crisis.

Has it helped thusfar?

Try respect for privacy first.

People demand that which we have lost back.

Give it back.

I mean it.

Mr. President: Give it back, please. Thank you, Sir. *bow*


IMHO those that are large and in charge not only found out violence helps, it actually rules. and they figured this out a really long time ago. thus they have been using it in it's many forms to rule with an iron fist ever since. that's why every day peace loving folks are just screwed cradle to grave. if we even think of getting uppity they will end us. so i'm thankful for the crumbs on my plate -scurries away mouse like-

14 Nov 2012 08:38 PM
Indubitably     

KrispyKritter: Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: a_feral_duck: GORDON: I bet you a dollar we regular plebes just lost a little privacy.

That's what I was initially thinking, but upon reading the article it looks like someone took my baseball model of network security seriously.

//Locate the hacker, hop into a van, drive to his place, and play home run derby with his computers. Also, break his kneecaps.

Violence is not the answer to this crisis.

Has it helped thusfar?

Try respect for privacy first.

People demand that which we have lost back.

Give it back.

I mean it.

Mr. President: Give it back, please. Thank you, Sir. *bow*

IMHO those that are large and in charge not only found out violence helps, it actually rules. and they figured this out a really long time ago. thus they have been using it in it's many forms to rule with an iron fist ever since. that's why every day peace loving folks are just screwed cradle to grave. if we even think of getting uppity they will end us. so i'm thankful for the crumbs on my plate -scurries away mouse like-


Read and dead?

*sigh*

Violence is a method of death.

Love is a method of peace.

Method acting is taught by teachers.

You choose your teachers, man.

Teach peace or death?

Which is it?

14 Nov 2012 08:45 PM
boozehat     

DerpHerder: boozehat: Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.

Are you for serious? You just made the headache I already way worse. Changing your MAC address is useful for avoiding bans on websites and game serves (unless you really pissed them off and they ban your range which the isp assigned you). They know all the pr0n you look at! Get out now they're coming for you!


Naw, I'm not scared. Porn isn't really illegal, and I don't look at it. There's also ways around people knowing where you go on the internet.

The mac program I have is one thing. A friend of mine also showed me if you make websites "https", people can't see it cause its encryption.

At my school someone showed me the encryption trick to get to blocked websites but then our teacher saw him and he got put on duty. haha.

14 Nov 2012 08:57 PM
fjnorton    [TotalFark]  
Can everyone please leave this thread in an orderly fashion and please clear your browser history as you leave the site

14 Nov 2012 09:06 PM
fjnorton    [TotalFark]  

boozehat: DerpHerder: boozehat: Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.

Are you for serious? You just made the headache I already way worse. Changing your MAC address is useful for avoiding bans on websites and game serves (unless you really pissed them off and they ban your range which the isp assigned you). They know all the pr0n you look at! Get out now they're coming for you!

Naw, I'm not scared. Porn isn't really illegal, and I don't look at it. There's also ways around people knowing where you go on the internet.

The mac program I have is one thing. A friend of mine also showed me if you make websites "https", people can't see it cause its encryption.

At my school someone showed me the encryption trick to get to blocked websites but then our teacher saw him and he got put on duty. haha.


You do know they can see you masterbate using cookies and the internal camera right?

14 Nov 2012 09:15 PM
Indubitably     

fjnorton: boozehat: DerpHerder: boozehat: Ever computer, yes even "Apple Mac's", have MAC addresses that can be used to trace you back on the Internet.

I installed a program on my computer that hides my MAC address on the internet. I'm not doing anything like hacking or ping of death or anything, but I don't want anyone really tracking where I go on the Internet. Some of my friends do hacking stuff for fun. I think they're probably going to get caught LOL.

Are you for serious? You just made the headache I already way worse. Changing your MAC address is useful for avoiding bans on websites and game serves (unless you really pissed them off and they ban your range which the isp assigned you). They know all the pr0n you look at! Get out now they're coming for you!

Naw, I'm not scared. Porn isn't really illegal, and I don't look at it. There's also ways around people knowing where you go on the internet.

The mac program I have is one thing. A friend of mine also showed me if you make websites "https", people can't see it cause its encryption.

At my school someone showed me the encryption trick to get to blocked websites but then our teacher saw him and he got put on duty. haha.

You do know they can see you masterbate using cookies and the internal camera right?


Does anyone really care>?

P.S. If it makes you happy to watch me stroke my dick, then, be happy...

14 Nov 2012 09:46 PM
DeathByGeekSquad     
Have we officially acknowledged our hand in Stuxnet? No? Then stop farking writing as if we have....

14 Nov 2012 11:37 PM
jso2897     
Grandiose little paranoids - nobody wants to know any of your pathetic "secrets".
STFU and GBTW.

14 Nov 2012 11:42 PM
tzarro     
I know this isn't insightful in any way, however...I have to say this...

While scanning through the headlines, I read the headline as Obama wanting to "help twat wart counterattacks"...

Please resume your conversation while I mumble to myself over here in the corner...

15 Nov 2012 09:40 PM
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