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   Think Fido is going to protect your house? Think again. Your dog wants to play with the burglar

31 Aug 2014 04:23 AM   |   4294 clicks   |   Yahoo
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ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
1. Burglar beings squeeky toys on the job
2. pat pat pat pat pat pat
(roll over)
3.Rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub
4. PROFIT!!!

14 Nov 2012 01:54 PM
Treygreen13     
How my dog will react to the burglar is not the issue. It's how the burglar reacts to the dog.

14 Nov 2012 01:55 PM
kobrakai     

Treygreen13: How my dog will react to the burglar is not the issue. It's how the burglar reacts to the dog.


Ding! Ding! Ding!
I have a black pit/lab mix who weighs about 65 lbs. He couldn't be more of a snuggly bunny if he tried but you better believe his bark and stature have helped me get rid of unwanted visitors.

14 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
Tat'dGreaser     
Wait a minute, every single thread about guns and home protection have taught me that big dogs are the only way to guard your home.

14 Nov 2012 01:58 PM
tweek46420     

kobrakai: Treygreen13: How my dog will react to the burglar is not the issue. It's how the burglar reacts to the dog.

Ding! Ding! Ding!
I have a black pit/lab mix who weighs about 65 lbs. He couldn't be more of a snuggly bunny if he tried but you better believe his bark and stature have helped me get rid of unwanted visitors.


yeah, I have a 85 pound boxer, who has an intimidating sound....but once you actually get in and say hello he's just an attention hound

14 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
Overfiend     
Hey! These dogs look exactly like the dogs from the posted Fark link the other day!!

AMAZING!!!

14 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
SilentStrider    [TotalFark]  
Well, my Cocker Spaniel would wiggle at a burgler. No help there.
The Springer on the other hand, she might cause a burglar some problems. Not because she'd be trying to protect the house, but because she'd be jumping up on them and, assuming they're male, hitting them square in the nuts like she regularly does to me.

14 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
Just another Heartland Weirdass     
This is why I don't have a dog. I don't need any additional fashion accessories, also I give and get pleanty of love from my human family.

14 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
kisseswookies     
My dog couldn't hurt a fly. I took her jogging with me once in an area where mountain lions are sometimes seen. Well, about halfway through the trail we hear a growl in the distance. My dog takes that as her sign to run in the opposite direction as fast as she can. I had to let go of the leash because the trail was largely downhill and I would have face planted down a mountain. I found her hiding underneath my car.

/heart of a lion that one.
//my sister's yorkie is the alfa
///she might try to get attention from a burglar, but she'd probably try to hide underneath the coffee table. All 80 lbs of her.

14 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
Matt Foley     

tweek46420: kobrakai: Treygreen13: How my dog will react to the burglar is not the issue. It's how the burglar reacts to the dog.

Ding! Ding! Ding!
I have a black pit/lab mix who weighs about 65 lbs. He couldn't be more of a snuggly bunny if he tried but you better believe his bark and stature have helped me get rid of unwanted visitors.

yeah, I have a 85 pound boxer, who has an intimidating sound....but once you actually get in and say hello he's just an attention hound


Husky Doberman, 85 lbs. 2 seconds of chin rubs and he will show you where we keep the valuables.

14 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
BronyMedic     
All this and no Mayhem by Allstate pictures yet?

Hey guys. This bone. Awesome

14 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
wellreadneck    [TotalFark]  
Should have tested a chow.

14 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
My dog goes ape-shiat if a stranger comes to the door, real evil sounding bark/growl from a dog who's hardly ever vocal in any situation. But if someone were to actually break in I think he'd stand there confused for a couple minutes before he asked for some head scratches.

14 Nov 2012 02:03 PM
paswa17     
I watched enough It Takes a Thief to know this.

What gets me is the people who let their dogs bark their heads off at the window whenever another dog walks by - like that dog was going to come in and jack their plasma screen TV. Your dog is barking because you spoil it and it doesn't want the other dog to move in on its territory. The owners will tell themselves Mr Yippy is protective and would scare away a burglar, but they don't notice that Mr Yippy doesn't make a peep when it's only a person walking by.

14 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
Arkanaut    [TotalFark]  
I should become a burglar. I'll get to break into people's houses and play with their dogs! That sounds like fun!

14 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
Banned on the Run     

14 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
Silly Jesus     
REPEAT from a few days ago. Looks like modmins stop repeats about as well as these dogs stop the burglars.

14 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
abhorrent1    [TotalFark]  
Usually the mere sight of a large dog is enough to make a would-be burglar find a different target. None of my dogs are big and scary but two of them would go batshiat and bark like crazy. Another thing that people who are trying not to draw attention to themselves would rather avoid. The other two may not even lift their heads off their pillow.

14 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
Pumpernickel bread     
www.allstate.comView Full Size

"Hey, you guys are great!"

14 Nov 2012 02:06 PM
gweilo8888     
img5.imageshack.usView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 02:06 PM
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier    [TotalFark]  
"Hey! Hey! You! There's food in the fridge! Can I have food? Hey! You with the TV! Can I have food? Food! In the fridge! The food! The fridge! Food!"

My guard critter can be defeated with 4 dollars worth of sliced ham from the grocery store.

14 Nov 2012 02:06 PM
ban_sidhe    [TotalFark]  
We always figured that Lily, our 85-pound Akita cross, would scare off anyone who managed to get over the barbed wire at the top of our fence and make it onto our property. We found out that we figured wrong when one day, the propane inspector dude was unable to reach our tenant by phone and climbed over the fence. My husband happened to glance out the front window and saw Lily playing with the guy.

I am pretty sure that if she'd seen someone being aggressive toward either of us that person would have regretted it, however.

Our current dogs probably can't be relied on much, either.

/ R.I.P. Lily
// Stupid liver cancer...

14 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
petec     
my dog is just an deterent / early warning device..I can handle the threat once I know it's there..

dogs are pack animals..they don't realy care about your stuff..but many will attack if a member of their pack is being assaulted..

and dogs can sense fear / nervousness .. I would be pretty relaxed if I was robbing your place with a protective suit and permission as this guy did ..

14 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
ha-ha-guy     
It all depends, I had a malamute who was a giant baby, right up until a burglar tried to break into my house via the window right next to the crib. The dog was stabbed by the burglar's knife and needed stitches, the burglar was found by the police a block or so away, passed out behind a small shed from lack of blood (the cops just followed the blood trail).

I don't care if my dog won't protect the flat screen when I'm not home, after all I have home owners insurance and I'd rather not have some dog prone to overreacting when people come onto his territory. What I do what is a dog that will fark shiat up when I'm not home, but my wife and six month old son are.

Basically my malamute was unhappy about the whole "strange man comes through window next to baby" thing and the moment my wife screamed he went from unhappy to "you know what solves all kinds of problems? Biting this dude repeatedly." When no one is around, he's welcome to help the guy load the TV for all I and my 750 dollar deductible care.

/the day the dog came back from the animal hospital he limped over to the easy chair by the window the burglar came through, sat down behind it and locked his eyes on the window, ready for round two

14 Nov 2012 02:09 PM
meat0918     
I know this, and I have a pit bull.

Now, if I was being attacked, he'd chew off the guy's face, but barring me being hurt, he's gonna want to play tug of war.

14 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
R.A.Danny    [TotalFark]  

petec: .but many will attack if a member of their pack is being assaulted..


This. My Australian Shepherd would let anyone into the house if we weren't there, but gave the 14 year old that pushed my 5 year old an arm full of holes and is loathe to let someone stand between either of the kids and him.

14 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
Fark_Guy_Rob     
I have a feeling there are other situations where the dogs would have performed much better. From personal experience I can say my dog is happy enough to bark it's damn head off at 2am if something unexpected makes a noise.

14 Nov 2012 02:12 PM
R.A.Danny    [TotalFark]  

ha-ha-guy: limped over to the easy chair by the window the burglar came through, sat down behind it and locked his eyes on the window, ready for round two


That is beautiful.

14 Nov 2012 02:13 PM
FarknGroovn     

kisseswookies: My dog takes that as her sign to run in the opposite direction as fast as she can.


My shar-pei consistently runs away from threats as fast as possible in the completely opposite direction. If I want to see what may be in my yard all I have to do is walk directly opposite his path when he bolts.

So far the list of things he consistently run from:
Geese
Ducks
Rabbits
Deer - Scary to run into these guys at 5:00 AM...
Coyotes - I usually run with him on this one...
Skunks - he got sprayed once. Safe to say he did not like it.
People

He's like a reverse tracking hound.

14 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
Rent Party     

Tat'dGreaser: Wait a minute, every single thread about guns and home protection have taught me that big dogs are the only way to guard your home.


Well trained dogs are a good way to guard your home, just as well trained gunowners are a good way to protect against home invasion.

The problem is too many retards with rotties, pitts, and guns and not enough of the "well trained" variety.

14 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy     
Our dog barks at everything and everyone that gets close. He's a beagle/terrier mix, so he's not going to actually harm anyone even if he wasn't super-friendly, but if anyone comes snooping around at night at least I'll know.

When no one's home? Yeah might as well not even have a dog.

14 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
Peppermint Rose     

ha-ha-guy: It all depends, I had a malamute who was a giant baby, right up until a burglar tried to break into my house via the window right next to the crib. The dog was stabbed by the burglar's knife and needed stitches, the burglar was found by the police a block or so away, passed out behind a small shed from lack of blood (the cops just followed the blood trail).

I don't care if my dog won't protect the flat screen when I'm not home, after all I have home owners insurance and I'd rather not have some dog prone to overreacting when people come onto his territory. What I do what is a dog that will fark shiat up when I'm not home, but my wife and six month old son are.

Basically my malamute was unhappy about the whole "strange man comes through window next to baby" thing and the moment my wife screamed he went from unhappy to "you know what solves all kinds of problems? Biting this dude repeatedly." When no one is around, he's welcome to help the guy load the TV for all I and my 750 dollar deductible care.

/the day the dog came back from the animal hospital he limped over to the easy chair by the window the burglar came through, sat down behind it and locked his eyes on the window, ready for round two


so dusty! Thank you. That's a wonderful story and I agree completely.

14 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
Sloppy Wreck     
Our dog looks intimidating and is very prote,tive of the family. When I used to travel, he would sleep at the top of the stairs rather than in the middle of the floor (on my way to the bathroom).

120 lb Ridgeback mutt makes quite the intimidating woof.

14 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
ProfessorOhki     
Not intimidating, but they'd make enough noise there's no way I wouldn't know you were there or maybe a squirrel.

Unless a FedEx guy broke in. Then he'd have to deal with 7 lbs of whirling fury and maybe 8 oz of jaw pressure.

14 Nov 2012 02:15 PM
danknerd     
Pitbull. Check!
Rottie. Check!
German Shepard. Check!
Chihuahua. Check!
Rat Terrier. Check!

3 of these 5 dogs will not be your friend if you enter my house without invitation. Guess which ones.

It really doesn't matter anyways, they are more of an alarm system than a defensive system as 95% there is someone at our house.

14 Nov 2012 02:16 PM
Dancin_In_Anson    [TotalFark]  
My Golden would not only want to play, but for a treat she'd serve up the combination to the gun safe.

14 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
Forbidden Doughnut    [TotalFark]  

petec: my dog is just an deterent / early warning device..I can handle the threat once I know it's there..

dogs are pack animals..they don't realy care about your stuff..but many will attack if a member of their pack is being assaulted..

and dogs can sense fear / nervousness .. I would be pretty relaxed if I was robbing your place with a protective suit and permission as this guy did ..


Fear.

That probably explains why I was attacked decades ago, while collecting for a paper-route.

/ German Shepherd
// I was very fortunate: only some ripped fabric (jeans)
/// D-bag owner didn't even apologize...

14 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
texdent    [TotalFark]  
I have two Shelties. They would probably bark a bit but otherwise play with the burglar.

14 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
RexTalionis    [TotalFark]  
www.traipse.comView Full Size

14 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
ChipNASA    [TotalFark]  
You know what's really scary........

The burglar went to your kitchen cabinet and got a jar of peanut butter....

/ermahgerd

14 Nov 2012 02:19 PM
Peppermint Rose     
My dog might drown a burglar with kisses. Ass attack cat though you better watch out for. The hot water heater inspector man did not pay enough attention to her she jumped up and hung off his butt and gave me the what? I didn't do anything look. I was just reminding him he was here to pet me and wasn't doing it.

14 Nov 2012 02:20 PM
natas6.0     
English Mastiff

visitor- 200 pound lion
me- 200 pounds of slobbery pillow

14 Nov 2012 02:20 PM
SundaesChild    [TotalFark]  

Tat'dGreaser: Wait a minute, every single thread about guns and home protection have taught me that big dogs are the only way to guard your home.


And a gun will do what for you if you don't happen to be home?

14 Nov 2012 02:21 PM
EatHam    [TotalFark]  

Treygreen13: How my dog will react to the burglar is not the issue. It's how the burglar reacts to the dog.


Exactly.  I *think* my dog would not allow someone to break in to the house, but what I know is that the delivery people won't even get near the door because it sounds like there's a giant farking wolf about ready to come through it.

14 Nov 2012 02:21 PM
meat0918     

Forbidden Doughnut: petec: my dog is just an deterent / early warning device..I can handle the threat once I know it's there..

dogs are pack animals..they don't realy care about your stuff..but many will attack if a member of their pack is being assaulted..

and dogs can sense fear / nervousness .. I would be pretty relaxed if I was robbing your place with a protective suit and permission as this guy did ..

Fear.

That probably explains why I was attacked decades ago, while collecting for a paper-route.

/ German Shepherd
// I was very fortunate: only some ripped fabric (jeans)
/// D-bag owner didn't even apologize...


I've only ever been bit by small dogs.

One was a bichon frese, and the d-bag kids egged it on as I was delivering papers. There was a German Shepard inside too.

The other was a minpin that was sitting on my wife's lap and got me when I went to hand her a drink.

14 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
Need_MindBleach     
The dog that would have bitten a stranger who walks into the house when its owner was away is probably the same dog that might bite a stranger while their owner is in the house, and is the same dog that might bite a stranger who wanders into its yard.

What I'm saying is, in a residential neighborhood, having a dog that barks but is reluctant to bite people is far preferable to having a dog that would maul the shiat out of an intruder.

14 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
I May Be Crazy But...     
Of course I want the burglar to pet my dog. Now, not paying any attention to the poor critter who's doing his darnedest to suck up - that would be rude.

You can have my stuff, don't hurt my dog.

14 Nov 2012 02:22 PM
nickerj1     
You're a burglar and slightly open the door to my apartment. You see an 80lb german shepherd sitting and staring at you, about two feet away. There is a slight growling sound coming from her. You can either continue into the apartment and hope she's friendly, or you can close the door as fast as possible and retreat from the building hoping she doesn't follow.

If you choose to continue into the apartment, turn to page 7. If you choose to try and quickly close the apartment door and leave, turn to page 15.

/She'd just jump up and lick you

She actually gets whiny when she sees kids outside playing cause they're her size and she wants to go run and play and dance with them.

14 Nov 2012 02:23 PM
EatHam    [TotalFark]  

meat0918: I've only ever been bit by small dogs.


Big dogs warn you.

14 Nov 2012 02:23 PM
ComicBookGuy     
I think my Jackhuahua and Chi-Pin would annoy invaders away.

14 Nov 2012 02:27 PM
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