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   Man swallows 220 diamonds, is arrested trying to smuggle them out of South Africa. "Passing stolen goods" to be added to charges in the next day or two

15 Nov 2012 12:52 AM   |   1966 clicks   |   BBC
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scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  
Blood Diamond 2: Bloody Stool

14 Nov 2012 09:11 PM
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iron de havilland    [TotalFark]  
i.imgur.com

14 Nov 2012 09:22 PM
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PhiloeBedoe    [TotalFark]  
i1079.photobucket.com

14 Nov 2012 10:15 PM
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Amos Quito     
He should have washed them down with a couple of DeBeers.

14 Nov 2012 10:17 PM
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insertsnarkyusername     
This is why you opt for the crotch grope instead.

15 Nov 2012 12:53 AM
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sethen320     
Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?

15 Nov 2012 12:54 AM
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LordJiro     
It started as charcoal, but he was kinda overzealous with his chewing.

15 Nov 2012 12:56 AM
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fat boy     
Alimentary, Dr. Leiter...

15 Nov 2012 12:57 AM
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
Damn. He'll be singing a different tone when his anus hurts.

15 Nov 2012 12:58 AM
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axeeugene     
"Is it safe?"

At least the problem's not on the dentist's end this time around.

15 Nov 2012 12:59 AM
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mutterfark     
Let my Cameron gooooo...

15 Nov 2012 01:02 AM
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Mister Peejay     
Came for Ferris Bueller reference, leaving ashamed for forgetting American Dad reference.

/and +1 for James Bond reference

15 Nov 2012 01:07 AM
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morg     
"If God had wanted man to fly ..." to which Mr. Wint concludes: "He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd"

i.imgur.com

15 Nov 2012 01:08 AM
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StoPPeRmobile     

sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?


If you give her one, she will let you put it in her butt.

15 Nov 2012 01:10 AM
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Gyrfalcon     
Here's hoping they were uncut diamonds...

15 Nov 2012 01:11 AM
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What_Would_Jimi_Do     

AverageAmericanGuy: Damn. He'll be singing a different tone when his anus hurts.


a whole new meaning to the term turd cutter.

15 Nov 2012 01:12 AM
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Jedekai     
1.bp.blogspot.com

Gagool laughs.

15 Nov 2012 01:21 AM
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sfpfc     
Receiving swollen goods is another charge that will stick.

15 Nov 2012 01:25 AM
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sethen320     

StoPPeRmobile: sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?

If you give her one, she will let you put it in her butt.


Haha...you don't need diamonds, just game.

15 Nov 2012 01:26 AM
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FuryOfFirestorm     
Loosely in the Guy with Diamonds

15 Nov 2012 01:26 AM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

axeeugene: "Is it safe?"

At least the problem's not on the dentist's end this time around.


Came for this one.

15 Nov 2012 01:26 AM
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StoPPeRmobile     

sethen320: StoPPeRmobile: sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?

If you give her one, she will let you put it in her butt.

Haha...you don't need diamonds, just game.


I know, that's why I said, "you."

15 Nov 2012 01:34 AM
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orclover     
www.funnyandjokes.com
Be honest with yourself ladies, If you love Diamonds then you really just hate black people.

15 Nov 2012 01:41 AM
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kareninsf     
Since when can scanners see your insides?
Creepy-could they dignose tumors-sheesh

15 Nov 2012 01:44 AM
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Kevin72     
Why does he have to smuggle them out? If it's bought and paid for why cant he just take it out? Anyway he should have opted for the feelout instead of the xray.

15 Nov 2012 01:44 AM
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Arcturus72     
My question is how did they guess he was the one to scan? Was he just extra nervous or was he the one asking for extra fiber in everything?

15 Nov 2012 01:44 AM
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Badafuco     
Diamonds in the ruffage

15 Nov 2012 01:47 AM
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Gyrfalcon     

sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?


Well, when they could only be found on the surface or in shallow mines, were very large, and very rare...then they were accordingly quite valuable. Today they are small, numerous and all over the place.

Does that answer your question?

15 Nov 2012 01:52 AM
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sandbar67     
He's likely to have trouble, however, when the carbon hits his anus

15 Nov 2012 01:58 AM
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On The Wrong Throne     
OW! OWWW!

221...

15 Nov 2012 02:03 AM
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mafiageek1980     
"Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week"

/not obscure, but first thing that came to mind after reading the headline

15 Nov 2012 02:05 AM
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Bill_Wick's_Friend     
blogs.villagevoice.com

A kiss on the gland may be quite continental
But diamonds aren't your butt's best friend
A kiss feels so grand, but it won't feel so gentle
When those rocks start to pass
And when the sparkles hit your ass.....

15 Nov 2012 02:09 AM
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Ghastly    [TotalFark]  
Is it safe?

15 Nov 2012 02:44 AM
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Ghastly    [TotalFark]  

axeeugene: "Is it safe?"

At least the problem's not on the dentist's end this time around.


Argh! I was beaten. Curse you!

15 Nov 2012 02:45 AM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

Gyrfalcon: sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?

Well, when they could only be found on the surface or in shallow mines, were very large, and very rare...then they were accordingly quite valuable. Today they are small, numerous and all over the place.

Does that answer your question?


Also can't forget that for a long time DeBeers had a virtual monopoly on the diamond trade. The price was artificially inflated.

15 Nov 2012 02:45 AM
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StoPPeRmobile     

mafiageek1980: "Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week"

/not obscure, but first thing that came to mind after reading the headline


Feed 'em to the pigs, Errol.

15 Nov 2012 03:09 AM
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InitialCommentGuy     
The poor guy is just trying to get back to his home country to get his buddy ressed.

Do you know how much 5,000 GP worth of diamonds run these days?

Now when he gets out of jail he's going to have to get 10,000 GP worth, and I don't know if they will fit.

South Africa

Alright. They'll probably fit.

15 Nov 2012 04:16 AM
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lewismarktwo     
Someone dropped the dime on this poor feller. Unless, that is, they are allowed to actually X-ray people without any cause now, which I would have no trouble believing. lol cancer.

15 Nov 2012 04:29 AM
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Hawnkee     
www.wearysloth.com

His brother's sister's cousin also thinks he's a noob.

15 Nov 2012 06:43 AM
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Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  
Makes his dookie twinkle.

15 Nov 2012 06:51 AM
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jso2897    [TotalFark]  

Gyrfalcon: sethen320: Man swallows clear rocks.

Why exactly are diamonds so valuable?

Well, when they could only be found on the surface or in shallow mines, were very large, and very rare...then they were accordingly quite valuable. Today they are small, numerous and all over the place.

Does that answer your question?


To elaborate - large, unuasually fine, and fancy colored diamonds ARE legitimately rare and Valuable.
The price of the average diamond is vastly inflated by artificial market controls.

15 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
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bump     
i dont understand why/how he was xrayed - perhaps i'm being pedantic, but he puts some diamonds in a condom or what not then walks around until the lot is ready to come out. How is this complicated? Most likely I dont know diddly about this process...

15 Nov 2012 06:55 AM
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