How about a petition to end repeats?

# of signatures - 1

Subby!

I'd sign THAT for a dollar!

Well it was fun while it lasted.

/How did they not-think this site was gonna get trolled?

Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST

Still only one vote.

It has fewer signatures than I expected.

It should be self-evident that it's a waste to bandwidth and should be shutdown. No voting necessary.

I like this one.

hdhale: It should be self-evident that it's a waste to bandwidth and should be shutdown. No voting necessary.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that internet petitions are effectively worthless...

How about just quit trying to make a news story out of them every five minutes?

They are not completely worthless. They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.

trappedspirit: How about just quit trying to make a news story out of them every five minutes?

So, should we retire the Hero tag for similar reasons, this link being a good example?

/let me guess, the petition was subby's

You'd think the administration would realize that the internet is mainly used for trolling and attention whoring.

Good example of wasted money, eliminated.

lenfromak: They are not completely worthless. They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.

this is why i didn't sign any of them. i'm already too much on the grid.

Rusty Shackleford

I refuse to sign this unless it has Weedlord Bonerhitler's sponsorship.

lenfromak: They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.

CHECKLIST FOR UNDESIRABLES

[ ] White, not liberal
[ ] Male, not feminist or gay
[ ] Gun owner
[ ] Pirates internet video
[ ] Cigarette smoker

Once again using a sledge hammer when a scalpel would do.

How about, petitions must be co-signed by one congressman before they go live.

You can make a petition and get a link. You send that link to whichever congress critters you want. They have to endorse it before it can be published.

This "saves bandwith", limits the petitions so they are easier to wade through, and allows the public to find the morons in congress who want to secede don't know how the government works.

I represent the Coalition To Ban Coalitions.

There was one to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics but I can't find it now

Amendment? Did I read that wrong?

How about a petition to stop posting these stupid petitions on fark.

Out of the 156 petitions on the site there are 72 requesting Secession. Thats right, more petitions requesting secession than there are states. There are some petitions listed that are reasonable requests. Just that the secession derp is almost half. There is other derp there too, but mostly secession derp.

Derp

This is dumb.

Petition to give meatwad candy!

That one I think they'll grant.

Petition for the giants are the best, bill belichoke sucks, the only LT is Lawerence Taylor even though he probably raped that girl, and that all super bowls should be awarded retroactively to the giants who are the best.

I like this one too.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/pet ition/legally-recognize-westboro -b aptist-church-hate-group/2K1ycBtp

relaxitsjustme: There was one to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics but I can't find it now

White House response: In this country, we obey the second law of thermodynamics.

I think having access to the Government is a good thing.

These petitions have been available for years and Some good ideas have filtered through. Its just recently that the Butthurt Brigade has discovered this and its getting more attention.

Things will settle down in a few months and valid suggestions will return.

sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

Really? I think they are hilarious. They show just how deluded the right-wing neocon nutjobs are in this country.

Son of Thunder: I represent the Coalition To Ban Coalitions.

cut, jib, newsletter, etc.

/beat me to posting this

I'm currently drafting my petition to shut down any petition to shut down White House petitions.

/petition

The secede from the union ones are oblivious to the fact that the Supreme Court already ruled that secession is unconstitutional.

Yo, Dawg, sign my petition.

/Oblig

That's a petition I can get behind! Every petition I ever followed got nothing more than a bland mission statement type of answer anyways. They have always been a diversion to make people think they had greater access than they really did. Get rid of the damn things and the sham they represent already. Can anyone name a single petition in four years that actually resulted in something?

sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

Sorry, but the comment made, from the Fark name... just made me giggle.

Yep. They never look at them or respond to them.

2 Replies: The secede from the union ones are oblivious to the fact that the Supreme Court already ruled that secession is unconstitutional.

This has always bothered me along the same lines of gun legislation. Criminals, by writ, are going to break laws; that is what makes them criminals. Ergo, more laws will not necessarily deter them, they've already made their stance on their opinion of the rule of law perfectly clear.

In that vein, a truly secessionist state is not going to care what the Constitution has to say about its intentions. By purpose and definition, they are seceding from the rule of the land, the Constitution.

It just feels petty to point out that secession is unconstitutional. Of course it is. Rape is illegal too. Shockingly, that hasn't stopped rapists.

Or, you could just deny access to everyone that signed the 'legalize crystal weed' petition. I have a feeling that would free up a good deal of bandwidth.

The best secession petition:

Peacefully grant the State of Canada to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Making dumb petitions then posting them on Fark with a self imposed Hero tag does not make you a Hero! Its not big and its not clever, someone please stop the madness!

Plus the right to petition is part of your freedom protected by the constitution, so you are petitioning the government for them to change the constitution and deny you of freedoms- you should have used the dumbass or ironic tag!

There is already a petition to stop these stupid petitions from getting instant green-lights here on Fark.

They've actually responded to, directly, quite a few of them - only the idiot ones like secession or "get rid of the PATRIOT ACT" or other undoable petitions get ignored or laughed at. Just a few successful petitions include the beer recipe, digitizing records, getting rid of animal abuse in the military, pushing for humanitarian investigations into Sri Lanka, and getting new rules and regulations for shiat like animal breeding, and rejecting Keystone XL.

Are they really major changes? No, but they keep updated links to new regulations or ongoing activities in certain areas (like Wall Street regulation, citizenship regulation) and stuff that can be relatively easily fixed have been done.

DysphoricMania: sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

Sorry, but the comment made, from the Fark name... just made me giggle.

Stop spreading your misery, Lib.

"Petition to shut down the White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, and are ultimately worthless "