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   Petition to shut down White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, and are ultimately worthless

15 Nov 2012 09:00 AM   |   4185 clicks   |   White House
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Karma Chameleon     
How about a petition to end repeats?

15 Nov 2012 09:01 AM
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Nightsweat     
# of signatures - 1

Subby!

15 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
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6502programmer     
I'd sign THAT for a dollar!

15 Nov 2012 09:04 AM
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way south     
Well it was fun while it lasted.

/How did they not-think this site was gonna get trolled?

15 Nov 2012 09:04 AM
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sodomizer     
Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

15 Nov 2012 09:04 AM
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Biness     
2.bp.blogspot.com

WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST
WE'RE NOT GONNA PROTEST

15 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
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StarSys     
Still only one vote.

15 Nov 2012 09:05 AM
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generallyso     
It has fewer signatures than I expected.

15 Nov 2012 09:08 AM
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hdhale     
It should be self-evident that it's a waste to bandwidth and should be shutdown. No voting necessary.

15 Nov 2012 09:08 AM
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rocketpants    [TotalFark]  
I like this one.

15 Nov 2012 09:11 AM
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GranoblasticMan     

hdhale: It should be self-evident that it's a waste to bandwidth and should be shutdown. No voting necessary.


We hold these truths to be self-evident: that internet petitions are effectively worthless...

15 Nov 2012 09:11 AM
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trappedspirit     
How about just quit trying to make a news story out of them every five minutes?

15 Nov 2012 09:11 AM
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lenfromak    [TotalFark]  
They are not completely worthless. They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.

15 Nov 2012 09:12 AM
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StoPPeRmobile     

trappedspirit: How about just quit trying to make a news story out of them every five minutes?


www.patentspostgrant.com

15 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
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BarefootInTheFark     
So, should we retire the Hero tag for similar reasons, this link being a good example?

/let me guess, the petition was subby's

15 Nov 2012 09:14 AM
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Satanic_Hamster     
You'd think the administration would realize that the internet is mainly used for trolling and attention whoring.

15 Nov 2012 09:15 AM
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monoski     
Good example of wasted money, eliminated.

15 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
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Biness     

lenfromak: They are not completely worthless. They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.


this is why i didn't sign any of them. i'm already too much on the grid.

Rusty Shackleford

15 Nov 2012 09:18 AM
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I Like Bread     
I refuse to sign this unless it has Weedlord Bonerhitler's sponsorship.

15 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
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sodomizer     

lenfromak: They help the government data miners learn who the undesirables are.


CHECKLIST FOR UNDESIRABLES

[ ] White, not liberal
[ ] Male, not feminist or gay
[ ] Gun owner
[ ] Pirates internet video
[ ] Cigarette smoker

15 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
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historycat     
Once again using a sledge hammer when a scalpel would do.

How about, petitions must be co-signed by one congressman before they go live.

You can make a petition and get a link. You send that link to whichever congress critters you want. They have to endorse it before it can be published.

This "saves bandwith", limits the petitions so they are easier to wade through, and allows the public to find the morons in congress who want to secede don't know how the government works.

15 Nov 2012 09:29 AM
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Son of Thunder     
I represent the Coalition To Ban Coalitions.

15 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
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relaxitsjustme     
There was one to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics but I can't find it now

15 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
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fourdegrees     
Amendment? Did I read that wrong?

15 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
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abhorrent1     
How about a petition to stop posting these stupid petitions on fark.

15 Nov 2012 09:38 AM
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Faps_in_the_kitchen     
Out of the 156 petitions on the site there are 72 requesting Secession. Thats right, more petitions requesting secession than there are states. There are some petitions listed that are reasonable requests. Just that the secession derp is almost half. There is other derp there too, but mostly secession derp.

Derp

15 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
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make me some tea    [TotalFark]  
This is dumb.

15 Nov 2012 09:40 AM
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Biness     
Petition to give meatwad candy!

15 Nov 2012 09:41 AM
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oryx     
That one I think they'll grant.

15 Nov 2012 09:42 AM
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Biness     
i.cdn.turner.com

Petition for the giants are the best, bill belichoke sucks, the only LT is Lawerence Taylor even though he probably raped that girl, and that all super bowls should be awarded retroactively to the giants who are the best.

15 Nov 2012 09:45 AM
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rocketpants    [TotalFark]  

15 Nov 2012 09:47 AM
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PiperArrow     

relaxitsjustme: There was one to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics but I can't find it now


White House response: In this country, we obey the second law of thermodynamics.

15 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
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Heraclitus     
I think having access to the Government is a good thing.

These petitions have been available for years and Some good ideas have filtered through. Its just recently that the Butthurt Brigade has discovered this and its getting more attention.

Things will settle down in a few months and valid suggestions will return.

15 Nov 2012 09:55 AM
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StrangeQ     

sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.


Really? I think they are hilarious. They show just how deluded the right-wing neocon nutjobs are in this country.

15 Nov 2012 09:57 AM
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chemrebel     

Son of Thunder: I represent the Coalition To Ban Coalitions.


cut, jib, newsletter, etc.

/beat me to posting this

15 Nov 2012 09:58 AM
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AFKobel     
I'm currently drafting my petition to shut down any petition to shut down White House petitions.

/petition

15 Nov 2012 10:08 AM
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2 Replies     
The secede from the union ones are oblivious to the fact that the Supreme Court already ruled that secession is unconstitutional.

15 Nov 2012 10:13 AM
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Superluminal Perineum     
img37.imageshack.us
Yo, Dawg, sign my petition.

/Oblig

15 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
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onyxruby     
That's a petition I can get behind! Every petition I ever followed got nothing more than a bland mission statement type of answer anyways. They have always been a diversion to make people think they had greater access than they really did. Get rid of the damn things and the sham they represent already. Can anyone name a single petition in four years that actually resulted in something?

15 Nov 2012 10:16 AM
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DysphoricMania     

sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.


Sorry, but the comment made, from the Fark name... just made me giggle.

15 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
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xxmedium     

15 Nov 2012 10:35 AM
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bittermang     

2 Replies: The secede from the union ones are oblivious to the fact that the Supreme Court already ruled that secession is unconstitutional.


This has always bothered me along the same lines of gun legislation. Criminals, by writ, are going to break laws; that is what makes them criminals. Ergo, more laws will not necessarily deter them, they've already made their stance on their opinion of the rule of law perfectly clear.

In that vein, a truly secessionist state is not going to care what the Constitution has to say about its intentions. By purpose and definition, they are seceding from the rule of the land, the Constitution.

It just feels petty to point out that secession is unconstitutional. Of course it is. Rape is illegal too. Shockingly, that hasn't stopped rapists.

15 Nov 2012 10:37 AM
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trappedspirit     
Or, you could just deny access to everyone that signed the 'legalize crystal weed' petition. I have a feeling that would free up a good deal of bandwidth.

15 Nov 2012 10:56 AM
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does not work to potential     

15 Nov 2012 11:28 AM
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pagansexgod     
Making dumb petitions then posting them on Fark with a self imposed Hero tag does not make you a Hero! Its not big and its not clever, someone please stop the madness!

15 Nov 2012 12:06 PM
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pagansexgod     
Plus the right to petition is part of your freedom protected by the constitution, so you are petitioning the government for them to change the constitution and deny you of freedoms- you should have used the dumbass or ironic tag!

15 Nov 2012 12:09 PM
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Surool     
There is already a petition to stop these stupid petitions from getting instant green-lights here on Fark.

15 Nov 2012 12:15 PM
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Sargun     
They've actually responded to, directly, quite a few of them - only the idiot ones like secession or "get rid of the PATRIOT ACT" or other undoable petitions get ignored or laughed at. Just a few successful petitions include the beer recipe, digitizing records, getting rid of animal abuse in the military, pushing for humanitarian investigations into Sri Lanka, and getting new rules and regulations for shiat like animal breeding, and rejecting Keystone XL.

Are they really major changes? No, but they keep updated links to new regulations or ongoing activities in certain areas (like Wall Street regulation, citizenship regulation) and stuff that can be relatively easily fixed have been done.

15 Nov 2012 12:16 PM
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Pants full of macaroni!!     

DysphoricMania: sodomizer: Butthurt over the secession petitions: it goes up to 11.

Sorry, but the comment made, from the Fark name... just made me giggle.


Stop spreading your misery, Lib.

15 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
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NephilimNexus     
"Petition to shut down the White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, and are ultimately worthless "

15 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
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