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   If you're going to troll an entire town in Colorado, go big or go home

15 Nov 2012 12:29 PM   |   14589 clicks   |   The New York Times
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Demetrius    [TotalFark]  
She deserves a kick in the lady parts. From the entire football team.

15 Nov 2012 07:14 AM
Sybarite    [TotalFark]  
Münchausen by proxy without all the inconvenience of actually having a proxy?

15 Nov 2012 09:54 AM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: Münchausen by proxy without all the inconvenience of actually having a proxy?


Münchausen by proxy proxy?

15 Nov 2012 11:15 AM
Donnchadha    [TotalFark]  

Sybarite: Münchausen by proxy without all the inconvenience of actually having a proxy?


Münchausen by schizophrenia?

15 Nov 2012 11:50 AM
SultanofSchwing     
Oh well, it was all one big joke. Everyone can get back to just being dicks to each other again.

15 Nov 2012 12:32 PM
tagkc     
Just a case of "troll big or go home"

15 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
Satanic_Hamster     

Demetrius: She deserves a kick in the lady parts. From the entire football team.


That or a gang bang.

15 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
cgraves67     
Briana Augustenborg

Their sympathy and supportiveness were assimilated.

15 Nov 2012 12:35 PM
stickandmove     
sike!

15 Nov 2012 12:36 PM
Rich Cream     
"They donned orange knee socks to commemorate the cancer ravaging his body."

I don't like this sentence.

15 Nov 2012 12:37 PM
FeFiFoFark     
Ha! What a bunch a maroons!

15 Nov 2012 12:37 PM
davidphogan     
That seems like a strange way to troll.

15 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
astro716     
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 12:38 PM
MacWizard     
"They were all so excited. It did show a side of the high school, that they're willing to rally and support anything."

Even if it's not real.

15 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
Aidan     
I know this won't happen, but now is the time for teachers and parents (and that poor coach) to set aside a real chunk of time and sit down with the kids and talk about how people can be real dicks, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for no reason at all. And just because they got taken in by a dick does not make them stupid or naive or bad people. It makes them very good people, and when they're older and they can do the research themselves, they should absolutely use the same judgement and do what they can to help. Also something something adults make mistakes don't go off and do drugs etc.

I'd hate to see this turn a bunch of kids off the idea of helping others.

15 Nov 2012 12:40 PM
Aidan     

davidphogan: That seems like a strange way to troll.


There's weirdly a bunch of stories about this kind of thing happening on line. I guess some people need attention in the worst possible way.

15 Nov 2012 12:41 PM
Buckney Gurre     
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evans the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.

15 Nov 2012 12:42 PM
BeesNuts     

Aidan: davidphogan: That seems like a strange way to troll.

There's weirdly a bunch of stories about this kind of thing happening on line. I guess some people need attention in the worst possible way.


What if her goal was a social experiment? Attempting to prove that deep down people aren't cynical and apathetic. That in the face of trial and tragedy we are inherently drawn together, and our first and most powerful instinct is to help and support one another, rather than make sure somebody really needs our help?

I find this story fascinating for psychological reasons.

15 Nov 2012 12:45 PM
BeesNuts     

Buckney Gurre: I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evans the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to for ...


I... am torn between several competing emotions.

15 Nov 2012 12:47 PM
david_gaithersburg     
Well played, well played.

15 Nov 2012 12:48 PM
abhorrent1    [TotalFark]  
leaving a baffled and betrayed town to wonder at her motives.

for the lulz. the only reason anyone does anything.

15 Nov 2012 12:49 PM
stickandmove     
simpsonswiki.netView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 12:50 PM
Mayhem of the Black Underclass     
While my faith in humanity is not completely restored (what with gramma killing her grandkids and their uncle the other day), but someone who makes up a sick kid, who then dies from his illness, but isn't trying to make a penny off of it? Yeah, I'm feeling better about the world right now.

15 Nov 2012 12:54 PM
mcwehrle     

Buckney Gurre: burlap boy story ...


I haven't seen this moldy oldy in years.

Thanks for the laugh.

15 Nov 2012 12:57 PM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  

Aidan: I know this won't happen, but now is the time for teachers and parents (and that poor coach) to set aside a real chunk of time and sit down with the kids and talk about how people can be real dicks, .

really. the coach having a big dick talk with the kids?

15 Nov 2012 01:01 PM
SuddenlySamhain     
I wouldnt be suprised if in a few months a paper is published in a psychology journal delineating the phenomenon of 'herd mentality', 'do gooders' and other things like that written by the perp of this hoax who concocted it as a case study.

Perhaps these villagers should just stick with collecting pop tops for chemo treatments.

15 Nov 2012 01:03 PM
nytmare     
FW: Fw: Fwd: fW: Please support someone you don't know who has a disease you can't verify because he deserves it unlike the 50 other people in the same hospital with the same ailment.

15 Nov 2012 01:14 PM
SnyderCat     
I ♥ Denver.

/shout out to the Denver PD. You all were a big help last night.

My attempted rapist will be finding out what assrape is like in prison soon.

15 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
MythDragon     

Buckney Gurre: I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evans the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to for ...


I actualy came here to post this.
I want eveyone to hear Billy's story. Thank you for your compassion in this matter.

15 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
Aidan     

vudukungfu: Aidan: I know this won't happen, but now is the time for teachers and parents (and that poor coach) to set aside a real chunk of time and sit down with the kids and talk about how people can be real dicks, .
really. the coach having a big dick talk with the kids?


Okay maybe the talk needs to be a little refined... :P

15 Nov 2012 02:38 PM
SuperChuck     

Buckney Gurre: I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evans the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to for ...


Sorry, I already donated all my money to Little Donny.

15 Nov 2012 02:45 PM
Optimus Primate     
This has been happening a lot lately with the prevalence of social media. These sick women (they're mostly women in the stories I read) thrive on this double-proxy munchausens. The thing is, nobody gets hurt, no profit is made, so nobody gets punished.

Saw a 48hours the other day about the famous 9-11 fraudster, JUST WOW. She pulled this same deal without the proxy (claiming herself to be a 911 survivor)...and she went DEEP with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alicia_E steve_Head

No repercussions, other than the shame.

15 Nov 2012 03:05 PM
On the Side     
FTFA: She could not be reached for comment on her Facebook page


Really, intrepid journalist, you tried real hard didn't you?

15 Nov 2012 03:13 PM
superfudge73     
Peanut, butter eggs and dice.

15 Nov 2012 04:08 PM
Jument     
Huh. That's a really strange story. Weird shiat.

15 Nov 2012 04:10 PM
groppet     

Diogenes: Sybarite: Münchausen by proxy without all the inconvenience of actually having a proxy?

Münchausen by proxy proxy?


I had a munchausen by mistake once. At work I took the day off and another guy I worked with that was fairly new got hurt off site. When people heard that someone had gotten hurt off site they assumed it was me. Jeez the out pouring of sympathy I got was amazing I hear. They were about to start raising money for me too. When I got in monday I got weird looks and funny stories, they took the flowers off my desk and gave em to the guy that really got hurt witha new card.

15 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
thisisyourbrainonFark    [TotalFark]  
I've lived in Gypsum. Armpit of the Rockies.

15 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
PunkRockLawyer     

groppet: Diogenes: Sybarite: Münchausen by proxy without all the inconvenience of actually having a proxy?

Münchausen by proxy proxy?

I had a munchausen by mistake once. At work I took the day off and another guy I worked with that was fairly new got hurt off site. When people heard that someone had gotten hurt off site they assumed it was me. Jeez the out pouring of sympathy I got was amazing I hear. They were about to start raising money for me too. When I got in monday I got weird looks and funny stories, they took the flowers off my desk and gave em to the guy that really got hurt witha new card.


CSB.

15 Nov 2012 09:27 PM
Porous Horace     
Never mind this idiot, what are we going to do for poor Burlap Billy?

/hang in there, BB!

16 Nov 2012 12:10 AM
BeesNuts     

Porous Horace: Never mind this idiot, what are we going to do for poor Burlap Billy?

/hang in there, BB!


Let's set up a website for donations and use social media to crowdsource charity activities geared towards BB and people like him. Get the awareness out there, post this on FB and like and favorite it too. Follow me on twitter and check out the blogspot. All the information is there.

16 Nov 2012 08:41 AM
SnyderCat     

MythDragon: Buckney Gurre: I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evans the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy ...


Just reposting this.

16 Nov 2012 06:07 PM
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