(full site)
Fark.com

Try out our new mobile site!


Back To Main
   Now that the barn door's been left open, the horse escaped, the barn burned down, the burnt wreckage washed away in a flood, and the horse drowned in the swollen river, Army officials think to remove Paula Broadwell's security clearance

15 Nov 2012 03:41 PM   |   3784 clicks   |   CNN
Showing 1-50 of 94 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
xanadian    [TotalFark]  
And just in time, too!

/military "intelligence"

15 Nov 2012 12:34 PM
Barfmaker    [TotalFark]  
We're from the government, we're here to help.

15 Nov 2012 01:08 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  
She do anything illegal yet?

15 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
DAR    [TotalFark]  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?


Having classified material @ home is a big no-no unless your an Admiral or General who's duties require you to take classified documents home. Your home has to be setup specifically to store it with approved safes / shredders.

She's in trouble for that I'll bet.

15 Nov 2012 03:19 PM
iheartscotch     
Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.

15 Nov 2012 03:43 PM
ZipSplat     

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?


She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

15 Nov 2012 03:45 PM
DownDaRiver     
But what about the pigs damint?
I want to know about the pigs!
Won't somebody please think of the future pork chops and bacon!

15 Nov 2012 03:46 PM
Abe Vigoda's Ghost    [TotalFark]  
i45.tinypic.comView Full Size


Woman needs to invest in some curtains.

15 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
namegoeshere     

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?


Yes. She took a whole bunch o' classified documents for a walk.

That's why they yanked her clearance, not for playing hide the heat seeking missile.

Unless he pillow-talked things beyond her clearance.

15 Nov 2012 03:47 PM
bittermang     

iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.


They tried to warn us this would happen, but we voted for Obama anyway. Hubris.

15 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
HotWingConspiracy     
But look at her arms! I mean...arms, guys.

15 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
namegoeshere     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 350x600]

Woman needs to invest in some curtains.


Then how would she AW?

15 Nov 2012 03:48 PM
doubled99     
plus the cat got out of the bag, and the cow jumped over the moon

15 Nov 2012 03:49 PM
rtaylor92     

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 350x600]

Woman needs to invest in some curtains.


That's a pretty nice set of cans to go with her five-head.

15 Nov 2012 03:50 PM
Rent Party     

ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.


She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

15 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     
Col. Flagg approves of those boobies.

15 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
BalugaJoe    [TotalFark]  
www.weirdir.comView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 03:52 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.


She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

15 Nov 2012 03:53 PM
cgraves67     

rtaylor92: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 350x600]

Woman needs to invest in some curtains.

That's a pretty nice set of cans to go with her five-head.


I suspect those things are fake. She supposedly runs Ironman Triathalons. Extremely fit female athletes are usually not that stacked, as boobs are mostly fatty tissue.

15 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
stuffy     
Seance when is it a crime to keep up a solders "moral"?

15 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
ongbok     

Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.


She is a reservist. But she didn't have an affair with anybody in the military. Petraeus was retired when he started hittin that.

15 Nov 2012 03:54 PM
advex101     
Just because you technically have one, it doesn't mean that information is in danger just because of that. I'm willing to bet she couldn't get in the door anywhere that she needed a clearance from the day that all this broke.

Also, excuse me while I giggle like a 5th grader:
FTFA: "Clearly when she was embedded with Petraeus..." Embedded indeed.

15 Nov 2012 03:55 PM
Rent Party     

HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.


I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.

15 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
Ima_Lurker     

iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.


What's wrong with selling Elmo to unwed teenage mothers?

15 Nov 2012 03:56 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.


I'm happy you approve and delighted you feel that way.

15 Nov 2012 03:57 PM
kokomo61     
Can South Korea get around to yanking Jill Kelley's "Honorary Consul" status? No Tampa socialite needs diplomatic plates. At least McDill AFB has yanked her base priveleges.

Seems like she would conveniently forget the 'honorary' part of her titles, and use her 'consul' and 'ambassador' cred to pull rank on any little people who dared cross her lawn uninvited.

15 Nov 2012 03:58 PM
Rent Party     

HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.

I'm happy you approve and delighted you feel that way.


I always try to let the facts guide my judgement and inform my opinions.

Observe.

She is in the military and subject to the UCMJ.
Military chicks are generally pretty slutty.

15 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

cgraves67: rtaylor92: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i45.tinypic.com image 350x600]

Woman needs to invest in some curtains.

That's a pretty nice set of cans to go with her five-head.

I suspect those things are fake. She supposedly runs Ironman Triathalons. Extremely fit female athletes are usually not that stacked, as boobs are mostly fatty tissue.


She's also been book touring for about six months, which would let her gain some weight back. Now the being trapped inside is going to make her beef up a bit. She was a little boney at her fighting weight, so adding a bit of curve to that frame won't hurt.

15 Nov 2012 04:00 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.

I'm happy you approve and delighted you feel that way.

I always try to let the facts guide my judgement and inform my opinions.

Observe.

She is in the military and subject to the UCMJ.
Military chicks are generally pretty slutty.


Many of them hump like boys.

15 Nov 2012 04:01 PM
namegoeshere     

Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.


No, she's a lieutenant colonel.

15 Nov 2012 04:02 PM
jmr61     
Oh and the FBI has supposedly know about this situation for months yet they only show up this week to yank her computers and other evidence? Wtf?

15 Nov 2012 04:03 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

jmr61: Oh and the FBI has supposedly know about this situation for months yet they only show up this week to yank her computers and other evidence? Wtf?


Now that the stink is in the wind, everybody has to start doing their jobs as required by The Rules and The Law.

15 Nov 2012 04:04 PM
I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  

Ima_Lurker: iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.

What's wrong with selling Elmo to unwed teenage mothers?



Elmo is gay.  He shouldn't be subjected to such blatant heterosexuality.

15 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
ZipSplat     

HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.

I'm happy you approve and delighted you feel that way.


I'll give Ol'barnbug on the horn and let him know that Rent Party has upheld Mrs. Broadwell's commission pending the truth of its existence.

15 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
simpsonswiki.netView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
Rent Party     

namegoeshere: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

No, she's a lieutenant colonel.


So I have heard.

/ Revised and extended my remarks....

15 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
Silverstaff     

ongbok: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She is a reservist. But she didn't have an affair with anybody in the military. Petraeus was retired when he started hittin that.


Doesn't matter, if a servicemember commits adultery, even if the other party is a civilian, it's still a UCMJ offense. You have to prove the actual physical act of intercourse happened, IIRC, not just romance and dating. It's one reason that adultery UCMJ is rare.

Also, General Petraeus was retired, which is a kind of weird gray area with regards to being in the military or not. Retirement pay is not considered a "pension" as it is more of a retainer on the idea they might need to call you back to duty one day, and you are considered transferred to the Retired Reserve, with no duties or responsibilities other than to be available on the very slim chance you're called back. I honestly don't know if you can UCMJ somebody in the Retired Reserve, I'm no JAG.

Also, as was said, taking classified documents home is a huge no-no. You need some pretty hefty paperwork and facilities at your house to get permission for that. A LTC in Military Intelligence should know that by heart. Hell, if that's true, that's losing your clearance and a big pile of UCMJ on top of it all.

15 Nov 2012 04:06 PM
Rent Party     

HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: HotIgneous Intruder: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She's a Lt.Col. in the Army reserves. She's subject to the UCMJ.

I did not know that.

If true, she is subject to the UCMJ.

I'm happy you approve and delighted you feel that way.

I always try to let the facts guide my judgement and inform my opinions.

Observe.

She is in the military and subject to the UCMJ.
Military chicks are generally pretty slutty.

Many of them hump like boys.


They tend to have bad haircuts and wear comfortable shoes.

15 Nov 2012 04:06 PM
I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  

jmr61: Oh and the FBI has supposedly know about this situation for months yet they only show up this week to yank her computers and other evidence? Wtf?



Surely you can't be one of those conspiracy types that think the FBI should have done this, and informed the president, before the election?

15 Nov 2012 04:06 PM
I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  

Rent Party: They tend to have bad haircuts and wear comfortable shoes.



Like field hockey players?

15 Nov 2012 04:08 PM
iheartscotch     

Ima_Lurker: iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.

What's wrong with selling Elmo to unwed teenage mothers?


Beside the whole puppet trafficking thing?

15 Nov 2012 04:08 PM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
So, I'm at work, lunch, and I go to the lunch room and they are all talking and one of them (I'm one of the older ones here, most of them are 20 something) asks me, "Hey, Vudu! You were in the Military. You had a security clearance. What have you learned from all of this Patreaus stuff?" And I sat down and said "don't eat too much Pie" and they all got quiet. And I said " I learned from all this, not to eat too much pie."
And they finally go, no, the military thing. And I go: Don't' eat too much pie. When you eat too much pie, you end up looking like Dolly Patreaus, and when you end up looking like Dolly Patreaus, your general husband will cheat on you. When your general husband cheats on you, he and her get caught. When they get caught, you end up the lumpy wife who got fat and drove her husband off on TV and everyone points and laughs at you. When everyone points and laughs at you, you want to eat more pie. It's a vicious cycle. So don't' eat so much pie. " The ladies didn't appreciate it, since someone had brought in pies, and they were all stuffing their pie holes.
I guess they will be baitching about what I said at curves tonight.

15 Nov 2012 04:10 PM
iheartscotch     

I_C_Weener: Ima_Lurker: iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.

What's wrong with selling Elmo to unwed teenage mothers?


Elmo is gay.  He shouldn't be subjected to such blatant heterosexuality.


Hey now, Elmo is a public asset; we could sell him to zombie Osama bin Laden if we wanted to.

15 Nov 2012 04:11 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  

ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.


Hmm hmmm hmmm, did not know that. She's in a bit of hot water, then.


DAR: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

Having classified material @ home is a big no-no unless your an Admiral or General who's duties require you to take classified documents home. Your home has to be setup specifically to store it with approved safes / shredders.

She's in trouble for that I'll bet.


Could be true.

15 Nov 2012 04:13 PM
TheBeastOfYuccaFlats    [TotalFark]  

ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.


Though technically Petraeus isn't an active member of the military anymore, right? Is he still subject to the UCMJ even though he's retired from the service?

15 Nov 2012 04:14 PM
HotIgneous Intruder     

vudukungfu: And I go: Don't' eat too much pie.


That sir, is why you had the clearance.

15 Nov 2012 04:14 PM
mjohnson71     

DAR: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

Having classified material @ home is a big no-no unless your an Admiral or General who's duties require you to take classified documents home. Your home has to be setup specifically to store it with approved safes / shredders.

She's in trouble for that I'll bet.


This right here.

Hide the salami: not a big deal
Sensitive documents at home:

Silverstaff: ongbok: Rent Party: ZipSplat: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: She do anything illegal yet?

She's married and an Army reservist, and she had an affair with another married member of the military. 2x violations of Article 134 of the UCMJ.

She is not subject to the UCMJ. She is a civilian.

She is a reservist. But she didn't have an affair with anybody in the military. Petraeus was retired when he started hittin that.

Doesn't matter, if a servicemember commits adultery, even if the other party is a civilian, it's still a UCMJ offense. You have to prove the actual physical act of intercourse happened, IIRC, not just romance and dating. It's one reason that adultery UCMJ is rare.

Also, General Petraeus was retired, which is a kind of weird gray area with regards to being in the military or not. Retirement pay is not considered a "pension" as it is more of a retainer on the idea they might need to call you back to duty one day, and you are considered transferred to the Retired Reserve, with no duties or responsibilities other than to be available on the very slim chance you're called back. I honestly don't know if you can UCMJ somebody in the Retired Reserve, I'm no JAG.

Also, as was said, taking classified documents home is a huge no-no. You need some pretty hefty paperwork and facilities at your house to get permission for that. A LTC in Military Intelligence should know that by heart. Hell, if that's true, that's losing your clearance and a big pile of UCMJ on top of it all.


This sounds about right. The military will probably bypass on the "hide the salami" stuff but come down hard on the document removal.

15 Nov 2012 04:15 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
"Screw you, Marge Simpson! Don't read my books and don't make my recipes! May my curse follow you beyond the grave!"

15 Nov 2012 04:15 PM
cgraves67     
I suspect the reason that her clearence didn't get yanked earlier is because the FBI was waiting to see if she was going to sell anything to the Chinese, Russians, or some other foreign entity. Once the shiat hit the mass media fan, it became clear that she wasn't going to attempt that while the leering eyes of the national are upon her, they yanked it.

15 Nov 2012 04:16 PM
I_C_Weener    [TotalFark]  

iheartscotch: I_C_Weener: Ima_Lurker: iheartscotch: Too late; she already sold yellow cake uranium to Elmo and unwed teenage mothers.

What's wrong with selling Elmo to unwed teenage mothers?


Elmo is gay.  He shouldn't be subjected to such blatant heterosexuality.

Hey now, Elmo is a public asset; we could sell him to zombie Osama bin Laden if we wanted to.



He has been aroudn for 20 years.  He's old enough to earn his keep.  I guess I dont' care if he's sold as a sex slave to single mothers.

15 Nov 2012 04:16 PM
Showing 1-50 of 94 comments
Refresh Page 2
View Comments:
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined