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   Genius Alabama fella starts secession petition because city officials shut down his ladies-naked-boobies carwash (Warning: pic is Not safe for work)

15 Nov 2012 06:10 PM   |   33770 clicks   |   Wonkette
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big_pth    [TotalFark]  
bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron.

15 Nov 2012 05:59 PM
Aarontology    [TotalFark]  
I dunno, I think this guy has a case.

15 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
SilentStrider    [TotalFark]  

Aarontology: I dunno, I think this guy has a case.


I agree. i support this cause.

15 Nov 2012 06:04 PM
Because People in power are Stupid     
i786.photobucket.comView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 06:07 PM
Delawheredad    [TotalFark]  
This is the only secession movement I can get behind.

15 Nov 2012 06:13 PM
costermonger    [TotalFark]  
As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".

15 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
St_Francis_P     
I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.

15 Nov 2012 06:14 PM
jso2897     
I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.

15 Nov 2012 06:15 PM
St_Francis_P     
Oh, and...thanks, Obama!

15 Nov 2012 06:16 PM
HeartBurnKid     

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


I don't know about that. Sure, "because Obama" is a stupid farking reason for secession, but at least it's an issue secession would actually solve. No matter if Alabama's in the USA, the CSA, or the UCAS, the city council are still going to be the same people.

15 Nov 2012 06:16 PM
ArcadianRefugee     
citizented.comView Full Size


/stripper thread

15 Nov 2012 06:16 PM
maxheck     
I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.

15 Nov 2012 06:17 PM
Insaniteus     
He has a point. Any country that forbids naked ladies is just not America anymore....

15 Nov 2012 06:17 PM
Harvey Manfrenjensenjen     
That article was more poorly-written than the petition.

15 Nov 2012 06:17 PM
Zeb Hesselgresser     
so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.

15 Nov 2012 06:18 PM
St_Francis_P     

Zeb Hesselgresser: so this is what I takes for a united Fark? Never saw it coming.


If Romney had only run on the "Naked boobies, all the time!" platform, Obama would be back on the street.

15 Nov 2012 06:19 PM
born_yesterday     

maxheck: I had a stripper g/f who had the same grand idea, except she was also going to offer oil changes. The name of the place would be "Boob and Lube."

She was a car geek and had some very hot friends. I have very little reason to care about this nitwit here in Maryland.


Shut up and take my money!

15 Nov 2012 06:20 PM
caramba421     
I absolutely love all this secession business. If every single Red State secedes, the remaining US will still have the world's largest economy, still almost doubling China's. The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany. Good luck with that one, guys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ U.S._states_by_GDP

15 Nov 2012 06:21 PM
Jaws_Victim     

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: That article was more poorly-written than the petition.


And not funny at all. Surely we can make fun of the lowest common denominator without actually writing like them, right?

15 Nov 2012 06:22 PM
otto the bull     
I have never seen those first three words of the headline in a row before.

15 Nov 2012 06:22 PM
mcwehrle     
Came for the Homer Simpson country pic.

leaving with a sad.

15 Nov 2012 06:23 PM
FutureWars     

jso2897: I suspect his Cadillac may have one wheel in the ditch, and one on the track.


Swing low down in Alabama.

15 Nov 2012 06:24 PM
AcneVulgaris     
The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.

15 Nov 2012 06:24 PM
Cletus C.     
Obongos strikes again.

15 Nov 2012 06:25 PM
hoodiowithtudio     
was obama ever on the street?

15 Nov 2012 06:25 PM
Hickory-smoked     

costermonger: As far as reasons for secession go, it's head and shoulders above "because Obama".


Except he's blaming 0bama for Mobile, Alabama's city officials. That's double the stupid.

15 Nov 2012 06:25 PM
St_Francis_P     

AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.


I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.

15 Nov 2012 06:26 PM
Smelly McUgly     
Topless car wash?!?!

...oh, staffed by women from Alabama.

Hmmph.

15 Nov 2012 06:27 PM
JasonThomasX     
images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 06:28 PM
colon_pow     
I liked the picture, but couldn't understand the article.

15 Nov 2012 06:28 PM
traylor     
But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

15 Nov 2012 06:28 PM
TomD9938     

caramba421: The newly-created Confederate States of Bumfarkistan will end up in 4th place behind China and Japan, but ahead of Germany.


That's much bigger than I would have guessed.

15 Nov 2012 06:29 PM
MooseUpNorth     

Delawheredad: This is the only secession movement I can get behind.


Nah, no point(s) in being behind, this is something we all need to be ahead of.

15 Nov 2012 06:29 PM
St_Francis_P     

traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.


Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.

15 Nov 2012 06:30 PM
mcwehrle     

JasonThomasX: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 282x180]


thank you!!!1111

15 Nov 2012 06:31 PM
Honest Bender    [TotalFark]  
0-media-cdn.foolz.usView Full Size

15 Nov 2012 06:31 PM
Badgers     
So... they took away his jerb in 2001. During Dubya's illegitimate reign.
And he starts a petition _now_?
Someone should charge these idiots for every petition they start.

15 Nov 2012 06:32 PM
Smelly McUgly     

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Time machine? Eh, more like Kenyan Voodoo Magic.

15 Nov 2012 06:32 PM
Misch    [TotalFark]  

St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.


It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."

15 Nov 2012 06:34 PM
Cletus C.     

St_Francis_P: traylor: But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001.

The date is important, people.

Not really. Obama's Time Machine makes it back to 2001 easily.


Obama's time machine specializes in the Bush years.

15 Nov 2012 06:34 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
The town that I went to college in had nothing in the form of entertainment, really; but it was the town that had the highest per-capita amount of strip clubs throughout the whole State. So, when my friends and I discovered that there was a "Topless Car Wash" we decided we had to go check it out. Turns out it was just a regular strip club that washed your car while you were inside the building... no boobies washing the windows. We were incredibly disappointed, even while being a group of penis-loving straight metal chicks.

15 Nov 2012 06:36 PM
St_Francis_P     

Misch: St_Francis_P: I'm sympathetic, but I'd have to see the boobies to properly judge the legality of that.

It said "bwahahahahhahah. If you think leaving the US is going to stop local bigots/zealots from being local bigots/zealots, you are a moron."


Ba bum tsssh...

15 Nov 2012 06:36 PM
AcneVulgaris     

St_Francis_P: AcneVulgaris: The funny thing is, it was probably his bible thumping co-conservatives that got him shut down for obscenity.

I would assume you're right. I'd also assume this guy's IQ is firmly in the double digits.


Let us not speak of his dentition or lineage.

15 Nov 2012 06:37 PM
KrispyKritter     
i question the mind of one who considers breasts to be obscene. everything of the body is 100% natural. breasts aren't obscene, some peoples minds are obscene. they should have to stand up and explain their minds. i suspect they are in need of psychological counseling. they are deeply damaged people who deserve our help and sympathy.

15 Nov 2012 06:38 PM
StopLurkListen     
a ***NSFW*** warning would have been nice, thanks!

15 Nov 2012 06:38 PM
Lionel Mandrake    [TotalFark]  
I think the problem is more "Alabama" than "Obama," fella.

15 Nov 2012 06:40 PM
pup.socket     
No pictures, only a blurry screenshot from an adult video. I is disappoint.

/ as long as you cannot see the goodies from the outside, what is the problem with the carwash?
// dnrtfa

15 Nov 2012 06:41 PM
El Pachuco     
Derrick Belcher, 45, is a truck driving, knife collecting former owner of a topless car wash who describes himself as "an absolute Libertarian."

media.al.comView Full Size


That is a rough, rough 45 years there.

15 Nov 2012 06:41 PM
Beaver1224    [TotalFark]  
Ok...easy fix. He just needs to tweak his petition a bit. Instead of "Alabama secede from the US," it should read "I secede from Mobile."

Done and done.

15 Nov 2012 06:41 PM
GAT_00     
He wants to secede now because he was arrested 11 years ago? Yeah, bullshiat. He's pissed the President is black.

15 Nov 2012 06:42 PM
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