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  • ♫ Talk about loot flaps, my girl's got 'em... ♫
  • Currently in training 

    www.gocaveman.co.ukView Full Size
  • It's amazing how much human skin can stretch. These people would make terrific lampshades for their own oil lamps.
  • I hope they burn the evidence.
  • You don't need fat rolls. Best Buy policy says they won't chase you past the doors. Just keep walking when the alarm goes off!
    /not that I've tried this mind you, YMMV!
    //paid for stuff and still had the alarm go off, kept walking, no problem.
  • images.starpulse.comView Full Size


    See if you can guess the shoplifter.

    /Hint: It's not Mohammed, Jugdish, Clayton or Sydney. It's also not Greggie or Douggie or any of the other Hitler youth.
  • what the hell? a carton of Newports? I haven't smoked in 7 years!

    /honey, i found the remote
    //and a VHS player
  • KrispyKritter: what the hell? a carton of Newports? I haven't smoked in 7 years!

    /honey, i found the remote
    //and a VHS player


    Oh, Peetah.
  • Hot Carl To Go: Busted!

    [i293.photobucket.com image 292x500]


    /I hate you. I hate you with the heat of a thousand exploding suns.
    //shakes tiny internet fist.
  • Steal bag of flour. Waddle to bus stop. Buttered biscuits for dinner.
  • I wonder if she remember the stuffing mix for that Thanksgiving turkey.
  • readbodylanguage.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


    WARNING!:

    awful thread ahead!
  • numbone: Steal bag of flour. Waddle to bus stop. Buttered biscuits for dinner.


    +1 for making me ananythingbutbiscuitsatarian
  • Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.

    No, I think they stuffed 'em. Opened up a $15 box fan, went to where security cameras couldn't see, and stashed them in the box, the put it back on the shelf for a third accomplice to pick up later.

    If you DO see it and catch this accomplice at the checkout with the cameras inside the box fan box, there's not a strong case for establishing guilt. Could just say "I just needed to buy a fan, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS IN IT", which is plausible. The person who concealed the property there is long gone, and proving the relationship and the conspiracy is basically impractical.

    If the person stuffing the merchandise gets stopped by security, they have no stolen property on them. In fact stuffing the merchandise inside other items but not trying to take it out of the store may not be a crime in that state. But if they get stopped, they'd never send the accomplice to pick up the "box fan", as it's too risky, they've been identified and may have gone back to the tapes and figured out where the merchandise got hidden.

    Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.
  • Gahhhhhh! Darn you fark
    i716.photobucket.comView Full Size

    That's better.
  • Does the US have a higher per capita number of 'people' with absolutely no shame? And yes, I'm American.

    Also: They don't see me rollin', still hatin'.
  • I N THE ACUTE CARE SETTING , the morbidly obese patient presents serious challenges for nurses. As the number of morbidly obese patients receiving hospital care increases, these challenges must be addressed in order to provide appropriate care and prevent injuries to patients and staff....

    ... Nurses were observed providing care to a group of morbidly obese patients. Specifically, they were observed as they assisted the patients in bathing, repositioning, dangling their feet or sitting on the side of the bed, and walking. 2 Both the amount of time and the number of people required for these activities were recorded. The mean time for bathing a morbidly obese patient was 30.4 minutes and the mean number of personnel required was 2.9, with a total of 63.8 minutes of staff time required, on average, for bathing.

    http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/ 10.1089/bar.2006.9994

    Job creators! Many are type 2 diabetics with poor circulation - decubitus ulcers often developing where sacrum `should' be. Moments after placing final strip of tape on new dressing and getting some help to roll them onto back, they often squirt liquid stool in large amounts - soaking the new dressing and contaminating the neatly debrided and packed wound; repeat (if in a teaching Hospital it might take several hours to run down a resident with a DEA number so as to get an order for a dose of Lomotil to suppress the GI motility - but, until one does? shiat and further contamination - dress and redress). And post-op rehab? use your imagination.

    /go ahead - fark that turkey, stuff it like Ron Jeremy did, for the exercise -set an example for your fat aunt hauling a year's worth of cat hair and crud under her `penduliferous' paps.
    //if one can afford a coal car's volume of talc to lubricate the faults etching the overburden?... hey, tubgirl... 
    ///keep an eye on your toes, my friends
  • There's going to be a market for "people lifters": small electric forklifts designed for lifting fatass patients

    /think pallet jack at bed level
  • Fat people are gross, lazy, stupid - and dishonest.
  • Oznog: Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.


    Agreed. I think the popo was taking a little potshot, maybe even hoping to provoke a response.

    Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.

    I think TFA says they had keys to a case. Relatively secure. Doomsday Preppers gives it 11/20 points. Those cameras could survive for 5 months inside a glass case with a crappy lock on it.
  • MaudlinMutantMollusk: There's going to be a market for "people lifters": small electric forklifts designed for lifting fatass patients

    /think pallet jack at bed level


    Already there. Got these in amberlampses these days:

    i.imgur.comView Full Size
  • BoxOfBees: Oznog: Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.


    Agreed. I think the popo was taking a little potshot, maybe even hoping to provoke a response.

    Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.

    I think TFA says they had keys to a case. Relatively secure. Doomsday Preppers gives it 11/20 points. Those cameras could survive for 5 months inside a glass case with a crappy lock on it.


    Yeah, where'd they get the key?? Inside job? Former employee?
  • Crazy Lee: I N THE ACUTE CARE SETTING , the morbidly obese patient presents serious challenges for nurses. As the number of morbidly obese patients receiving hospital care increases, these challenges must be addressed in order to provide appropriate care and prevent injuries to patients and staff....

    ... Nurses were observed providing care to a group of morbidly obese patients. Specifically, they were observed as they assisted the patients in bathing, repositioning, dangling their feet or sitting on the side of the bed, and walking. 2 Both the amount of time and the number of people required for these activities were recorded. The mean time for bathing a morbidly obese patient was 30.4 minutes and the mean number of personnel required was 2.9, with a total of 63.8 minutes of staff time required, on average, for bathing.

    http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/ 10.1089/bar.2006.9994

    Job creators! Many are type 2 diabetics with poor circulation - decubitus ulcers often developing where sacrum `should' be. Moments after placing final strip of tape on new dressing and getting some help to roll them onto back, they often squirt liquid stool in large amounts - soaking the new dressing and contaminating the neatly debrided and packed wound; repeat (if in a teaching Hospital it might take several hours to run down a resident with a DEA number so as to get an order for a dose of Lomotil to suppress the GI motility - but, until one does? shiat and further contamination - dress and redress). And post-op rehab? use your imagination.

    /go ahead - fark that turkey, stuff it like Ron Jeremy did, for the exercise -set an example for your fat aunt hauling a year's worth of cat hair and crud under her `penduliferous' paps.
    //if one can afford a coal car's volume of talc to lubricate the faults etching the overburden?... hey, tubgirl... 
    ///keep an eye on your toes, my friends


    img163.imageshack.usView Full Size
  • MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ Talk about loot flaps, my girl's got 'em... ♫


    How could I leave this
    comment behind....
  • "well, i done fit 3 cansa pork brains in milk gravy within my flesh folds!" -- Lori Hugh

    a0.twimg.comView Full Size


    "hoowee! that's good eatin'!"

    www.junch.comView Full Size
  • I've been caught stealing, once when I was five.

    I enjoy stealing.
  • Always wondered if fat people go skinny dipping?
  • Deep Contact: Always wondered if fat people go skinny dipping?


    or just get stuck.
  • when I put this up for link submission, I thought weird would fit better than sick because at least you can't see them doing it on camera.....blech. but if one of them had a key to the case, wal mart will probably get their top store detectives on this. although how hard would it be to check current and former employees? Hmm yes we did have an employee who worked in this department months ago who was a bit on the heavy side.

    I went into a wal mart in OKC and on checkout went through the shortest line which was the one with the smokes. The checker there and I can only assume they put her there because she would have been out of the way was so big that the barstool on wheels she sat on could barely turn around for her to grab people's smokes. yes it had a swivel seat and wheels and she still looked winded having to shuffle the five feet (if that far) to grab a pack of cigs.
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