(full site)
Fark.com

Back To Main
   An added benefit of America's growing obesity problem: shoplifting high dollar items in your fat rolls

15 Nov 2012 10:57 PM   |   3878 clicks   |   KFOR Oklahoma City
Add Comment
Showing 1-37 of 37 comments
Refresh
Hot Carl To Go     
Busted!

i293.photobucket.com

15 Nov 2012 10:20 PM
Reply
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
♫ Talk about loot flaps, my girl's got 'em... ♫

15 Nov 2012 10:58 PM
Reply
bjmidkiff2     
Currently in training 

www.gocaveman.co.uk

15 Nov 2012 11:06 PM
Reply
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
It's amazing how much human skin can stretch. These people would make terrific lampshades for their own oil lamps.

15 Nov 2012 11:07 PM
Reply
LOTN     
i.imgur.com

15 Nov 2012 11:10 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
LOVE HANDLES GO BOTH WAYS!!1!

15 Nov 2012 11:14 PM
Reply
litespeed74     
I hope they burn the evidence.

15 Nov 2012 11:18 PM
Reply
ArmednHammered    [TotalFark]  
You don't need fat rolls. Best Buy policy says they won't chase you past the doors. Just keep walking when the alarm goes off!
/not that I've tried this mind you, YMMV!
//paid for stuff and still had the alarm go off, kept walking, no problem.

15 Nov 2012 11:22 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
images.starpulse.com

See if you can guess the shoplifter.

/Hint: It's not Mohammed, Jugdish, Clayton or Sydney. It's also not Greggie or Douggie or any of the other Hitler youth.

15 Nov 2012 11:23 PM
Reply
KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
what the hell? a carton of Newports? I haven't smoked in 7 years!

/honey, i found the remote
//and a VHS player

15 Nov 2012 11:23 PM
Reply
puffy999     
cdn.teenhollywood.com

15 Nov 2012 11:24 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     

KrispyKritter: what the hell? a carton of Newports? I haven't smoked in 7 years!

/honey, i found the remote
//and a VHS player


Oh, Peetah.

15 Nov 2012 11:25 PM
Reply
Apos     
2.bp.blogspot.com

15 Nov 2012 11:26 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
img156.imageshack.us

15 Nov 2012 11:28 PM
Reply
Bit'O'Gristle     

Hot Carl To Go: Busted!

[i293.photobucket.com image 292x500]


/I hate you. I hate you with the heat of a thousand exploding suns.
//shakes tiny internet fist.

15 Nov 2012 11:31 PM
Reply
numbone     
Steal bag of flour. Waddle to bus stop. Buttered biscuits for dinner.

15 Nov 2012 11:33 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
I wonder if she remember the stuffing mix for that Thanksgiving turkey.

15 Nov 2012 11:35 PM
Reply
strapp3r     
readbodylanguage.files.wordpress.com

WARNING!:

awful thread ahead!

15 Nov 2012 11:40 PM
Reply
onestr8     

numbone: Steal bag of flour. Waddle to bus stop. Buttered biscuits for dinner.


+1 for making me ananythingbutbiscuitsatarian

15 Nov 2012 11:40 PM
Reply
Oznog     
Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.

No, I think they stuffed 'em. Opened up a $15 box fan, went to where security cameras couldn't see, and stashed them in the box, the put it back on the shelf for a third accomplice to pick up later.

If you DO see it and catch this accomplice at the checkout with the cameras inside the box fan box, there's not a strong case for establishing guilt. Could just say "I just needed to buy a fan, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS IN IT", which is plausible. The person who concealed the property there is long gone, and proving the relationship and the conspiracy is basically impractical.

If the person stuffing the merchandise gets stopped by security, they have no stolen property on them. In fact stuffing the merchandise inside other items but not trying to take it out of the store may not be a crime in that state. But if they get stopped, they'd never send the accomplice to pick up the "box fan", as it's too risky, they've been identified and may have gone back to the tapes and figured out where the merchandise got hidden.

Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.

15 Nov 2012 11:48 PM
Reply
zerostatik     
Gahhhhhh! Darn you fark
i716.photobucket.com
That's better.

15 Nov 2012 11:54 PM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com

"I luv you Mommy" "I luv U Fud"

16 Nov 2012 12:00 AM
Reply
Ready-set     
Does the US have a higher per capita number of 'people' with absolutely no shame? And yes, I'm American.

Also: They don't see me rollin', still hatin'.

16 Nov 2012 12:02 AM
Reply
Crazy Lee     
I N THE ACUTE CARE SETTING , the morbidly obese patient presents serious challenges for nurses. As the number of morbidly obese patients receiving hospital care increases, these challenges must be addressed in order to provide appropriate care and prevent injuries to patients and staff....

... Nurses were observed providing care to a group of morbidly obese patients. Specifically, they were observed as they assisted the patients in bathing, repositioning, dangling their feet or sitting on the side of the bed, and walking. 2 Both the amount of time and the number of people required for these activities were recorded. The mean time for bathing a morbidly obese patient was 30.4 minutes and the mean number of personnel required was 2.9, with a total of 63.8 minutes of staff time required, on average, for bathing.

http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/ 10.1089/bar.2006.9994

Job creators! Many are type 2 diabetics with poor circulation - decubitus ulcers often developing where sacrum `should' be. Moments after placing final strip of tape on new dressing and getting some help to roll them onto back, they often squirt liquid stool in large amounts - soaking the new dressing and contaminating the neatly debrided and packed wound; repeat (if in a teaching Hospital it might take several hours to run down a resident with a DEA number so as to get an order for a dose of Lomotil to suppress the GI motility - but, until one does? shiat and further contamination - dress and redress). And post-op rehab? use your imagination.

/go ahead - fark that turkey, stuff it like Ron Jeremy did, for the exercise -set an example for your fat aunt hauling a year's worth of cat hair and crud under her `penduliferous' paps.
//if one can afford a coal car's volume of talc to lubricate the faults etching the overburden?... hey, tubgirl... 
///keep an eye on your toes, my friends

16 Nov 2012 12:06 AM
Reply
Jiro Dreams Of McRibs     
cdn.motinetwork.net

16 Nov 2012 12:08 AM
Reply
MaudlinMutantMollusk    [TotalFark]  
There's going to be a market for "people lifters": small electric forklifts designed for lifting fatass patients

/think pallet jack at bed level

16 Nov 2012 12:37 AM
Reply
Buffet     
Fat people are gross, lazy, stupid - and dishonest.

16 Nov 2012 01:30 AM
Reply
BoxOfBees     

Oznog: Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.


Agreed. I think the popo was taking a little potshot, maybe even hoping to provoke a response.

Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.

I think TFA says they had keys to a case. Relatively secure. Doomsday Preppers gives it 11/20 points. Those cameras could survive for 5 months inside a glass case with a crappy lock on it.

16 Nov 2012 01:40 AM
Reply
KidKorporate     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: There's going to be a market for "people lifters": small electric forklifts designed for lifting fatass patients

/think pallet jack at bed level


Already there. Got these in amberlampses these days:

i.imgur.com

16 Nov 2012 01:58 AM
Reply
Oznog     

BoxOfBees: Oznog: Honestly, those guys don't look big enough to hide a bunch of cameras in "fat rolls". They're overweight but not THAT much.


Agreed. I think the popo was taking a little potshot, maybe even hoping to provoke a response.

Fry's figured this shiat out. They just don't ever put small, high-dollar inventory on the shelf, you get a sales ticket and get your merchandise when you check out. Can't stuff what you never had in your possession.

I think TFA says they had keys to a case. Relatively secure. Doomsday Preppers gives it 11/20 points. Those cameras could survive for 5 months inside a glass case with a crappy lock on it.


Yeah, where'd they get the key?? Inside job? Former employee?

16 Nov 2012 02:32 AM
Reply
Nick Nostril     

Crazy Lee: I N THE ACUTE CARE SETTING , the morbidly obese patient presents serious challenges for nurses. As the number of morbidly obese patients receiving hospital care increases, these challenges must be addressed in order to provide appropriate care and prevent injuries to patients and staff....

... Nurses were observed providing care to a group of morbidly obese patients. Specifically, they were observed as they assisted the patients in bathing, repositioning, dangling their feet or sitting on the side of the bed, and walking. 2 Both the amount of time and the number of people required for these activities were recorded. The mean time for bathing a morbidly obese patient was 30.4 minutes and the mean number of personnel required was 2.9, with a total of 63.8 minutes of staff time required, on average, for bathing.

http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/ 10.1089/bar.2006.9994

Job creators! Many are type 2 diabetics with poor circulation - decubitus ulcers often developing where sacrum `should' be. Moments after placing final strip of tape on new dressing and getting some help to roll them onto back, they often squirt liquid stool in large amounts - soaking the new dressing and contaminating the neatly debrided and packed wound; repeat (if in a teaching Hospital it might take several hours to run down a resident with a DEA number so as to get an order for a dose of Lomotil to suppress the GI motility - but, until one does? shiat and further contamination - dress and redress). And post-op rehab? use your imagination.

/go ahead - fark that turkey, stuff it like Ron Jeremy did, for the exercise -set an example for your fat aunt hauling a year's worth of cat hair and crud under her `penduliferous' paps.
//if one can afford a coal car's volume of talc to lubricate the faults etching the overburden?... hey, tubgirl... 
///keep an eye on your toes, my friends


img163.imageshack.us

16 Nov 2012 07:24 AM
Reply
probesport     

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ Talk about loot flaps, my girl's got 'em... ♫


How could I leave this
comment behind....

16 Nov 2012 09:13 AM
Reply
Scruggy     
"well, i done fit 3 cansa pork brains in milk gravy within my flesh folds!" -- Lori Hugh

a0.twimg.com

"hoowee! that's good eatin'!"

www.junch.com

16 Nov 2012 09:25 AM
Reply
probesport     
I've been caught stealing, once when I was five.

I enjoy stealing.

16 Nov 2012 09:39 AM
Reply
Deep Contact     
Always wondered if fat people go skinny dipping?

16 Nov 2012 09:57 AM
Reply
probesport     

Deep Contact: Always wondered if fat people go skinny dipping?


or just get stuck.

16 Nov 2012 11:11 AM
Reply
jimmyjackfunk     
when I put this up for link submission, I thought weird would fit better than sick because at least you can't see them doing it on camera.....blech. but if one of them had a key to the case, wal mart will probably get their top store detectives on this. although how hard would it be to check current and former employees? Hmm yes we did have an employee who worked in this department months ago who was a bit on the heavy side.

I went into a wal mart in OKC and on checkout went through the shortest line which was the one with the smokes. The checker there and I can only assume they put her there because she would have been out of the way was so big that the barstool on wheels she sat on could barely turn around for her to grab people's smokes. yes it had a swivel seat and wheels and she still looked winded having to shuffle the five feet (if that far) to grab a pack of cigs.

16 Nov 2012 08:00 PM
Reply
Showing 1-37 of 37 comments
Refresh
This thread is closed to new comments.


Back To Main

More Headlines:
Main | Sports | Business | Geek | Entertainment | Politics | Video | FarkUs | Contests | Fark Party | Combined