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   Pumpkin Pie Sandwich - an entire 32oz tub of Kool Whip topping sandwiched between two whole pumpkin pies - and other Thanksgiving specials at Guy's American Kitchen + Bar

16 Nov 2012 06:16 AM   |   6076 clicks   |   Team Coco
Showing 1-49 of 49 comments
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AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  
And the trifecta is complete.

Guy needs your votes!

16 Nov 2012 06:19 AM
taurusowner     
I'm unfamiliar with this. Is any of that ever real?

16 Nov 2012 06:24 AM
BabyDumplings     
GRAVY HOSE!!!

16 Nov 2012 06:24 AM
shayB     

taurusowner: I'm unfamiliar with this. Is any of that ever real?


Yes.

16 Nov 2012 06:30 AM
SockMonkeyHolocaust     
My first impression of that is "America deserves to be destroyed." but then I saw it was that guy that used to be a writer for the Simpsons and I "laughed out loud" at my own reactionary response. HTH.

16 Nov 2012 06:35 AM
Enemabag Jones     
They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

16 Nov 2012 06:36 AM
dopekitty74     

AverageAmericanGuy: And the trifecta is complete.

Guy needs your votes!


We want to give Joe the Bird, not heartburn

16 Nov 2012 06:37 AM
Billy Bathsalt    [TotalFark]  
Coo Hwip?

16 Nov 2012 06:38 AM
dopekitty74     

Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.


^^^this! Cool whip tastes so fake.

/dopekitty likes real cream ;)

16 Nov 2012 06:39 AM
Brokken Frepz     
No apostrophe for plural.

16 Nov 2012 06:52 AM
iucpa     
I was digging this headline until the apostrophe. Come on, man! Hooked on phonics...

16 Nov 2012 06:56 AM
jaytkay     
Speaking of the Simpsons, I've never seen the guy's TV show, but from photos I guess he's Poochie with a restaurant.

media.comicvine.comView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 06:59 AM
mbillips     
Kool Whip is the nastiest crap Americans eat on a regular basis, and that is saying something.

You know how hard it is to whip up some real whipped cream from a carton of cream? Not hard at all. And if you're too lazy or ill-equipped to do that, they sell the real stuff in spray cans. Jesus Christ, people, stop eating whipped vegetable oil.

16 Nov 2012 06:59 AM
chookbillion     
Why do American bakeries always add cinnamon to raisin bread? I love raisin bread, especially when toasted, but I abhor cinnamon. Time to return to the country of my youth, where raisin bread sans cinnamon is commonplace.

16 Nov 2012 07:13 AM
AverageAmericanGuy    [TotalFark]  

chookbillion: Why do American bakeries always add cinnamon to raisin bread? I love raisin bread, especially when toasted, but I abhor cinnamon. Time to return to the country of my youth, where raisin bread sans cinnamon is commonplace.


What country is that? HELL?

16 Nov 2012 07:18 AM
Generation_D    [TotalFark]  
What if this restaurant's public spectacular failure so far is only a set-up for the next installment of Kitchen 911 or Kitchen Rescue or something else?

I fully expect Chef Ramsey to come bust through the door demanding to see the owner.

Food TV eats itself for the holidays.

16 Nov 2012 07:18 AM
Sass-O-Rev    [TotalFark]  

Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.


So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

16 Nov 2012 07:19 AM
jaytkay     

chookbillion: Time to return to the country of my youth, where raisin bread sans cinnamon is commonplace.


Those weren't raisins, they were flies.

Actual raisin bread includes cinnamon.

16 Nov 2012 07:23 AM
Sass-O-Rev    [TotalFark]  
BTW... this is a joke, right? None of this crap can possibly be for real. Maybe this was an article from The Onion.

16 Nov 2012 07:39 AM
JackalRabbit     

jaytkay: Those weren't raisins, they were flies.


and this been said is why i cannot even stand the thought of eating raisin bread or cookie.

16 Nov 2012 07:42 AM
LtDarkstar     
And what the hell a couple of corn dogs!

/Loves that comedian ;)

16 Nov 2012 08:05 AM
databit     
I am so totally stealing the Pumpkin Pie Sandwich idea. That sounds like a delish dish.

16 Nov 2012 08:19 AM
dofus     

Sass-O-Rev: Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.


Just add Miracle Whip and you're good to go

16 Nov 2012 08:21 AM
Donnchadha    [TotalFark]  

Brokken Frepz: No apostrophe for plural.


iucpa: I was digging this headline until the apostrophe. Come on, man! Hooked on phonics...


Did it get fixed?

16 Nov 2012 08:24 AM
Donnchadha    [TotalFark]  

chookbillion: Why do American bakeries always add raisins cinnamon to cinnamon raisin bread? I love cinnamon raisin bread, especially when toasted, but I abhor raisins cinnamon. Time to return to the country of my youth, where cinnamon raisin bread sans raisins cinnamon is commonplace.


FTFY

16 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
Cheron     

Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.


Guy has a champagne room in the back, order the Whipped Cream and Other Delights it is worth it

16 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
Heavyweight     

dopekitty74: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

^^^this! Cool whip tastes so fake.

/dopekitty likes real cream ;)


How are YOU Doin'?

16 Nov 2012 08:35 AM
suburbanguy     

Sass-O-Rev: BTW... this is a joke, right? None of this crap can possibly be for real. Maybe this was an article from The Onion.


It's from Conan's website...with a "satire" tag...

16 Nov 2012 08:47 AM
ltdanman44     

dopekitty74: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

^^^this! Cool whip tastes so fake.

/dopekitty likes real cream ;)


i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 08:48 AM
stonelotus     

16 Nov 2012 08:54 AM
Ikam     

Generation_D: What if this restaurant's public spectacular failure so far is only a set-up for the next installment of Kitchen 911 or Kitchen Rescue or something else?

I fully expect Chef Ramsey to come bust through the door demanding to see the owner.

Food TV eats itself for the holidays.


Typically this is true, but the Anthony Bourdain Christmas special last year where he gets shot by Samantha Brown and at some point Christopher Walken shows up was pretty spectacular.

16 Nov 2012 08:54 AM
scubamage     
Stopped reading the instant monsanto was mentioned on the menu. Fark Monsanto. That's something to be ashamed of, not farking PROUD OF on your gosh darn menu.

16 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
Ed_Severson     

scubamage: Stopped reading the instant monsanto was mentioned on the menu. Fark Monsanto. That's something to be ashamed of, not farking PROUD OF on your gosh darn menu.


Not familiar with satire, huh?

16 Nov 2012 09:24 AM
Expolaris     
img560.imageshack.usView Full Size


Back the fark off our turf Guy.

Muscles Glasses will destroy and consume you.

16 Nov 2012 09:31 AM
Ikam     

scubamage: Stopped reading the instant monsanto was mentioned on the menu. Fark Monsanto. That's something to be ashamed of, not farking PROUD OF on your gosh darn menu.


But you read that bit about the hose that shot gravy at guests at 300psi and thought that was totally a reasonable menu item? It took you all the way to the Monsanto bit to ask yourself wtf? What sort of restaurants do you eat at?

16 Nov 2012 09:32 AM
hetheeme     
It says a great deal about this guy that so many were fooled by the satire. I thought it sounded exactly like his kinda thing until I saw the Satire tag.

On an opposite note, Alton Brown will be on Mythbusters this week. Cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner with a car.

16 Nov 2012 09:36 AM
Rawhead Rex     
Damn...

I thought that was real up until the fire hose came into the picture.

Was wondering what kind of gigantic fatasses would actually eat that much in one sitting.

16 Nov 2012 09:43 AM
JSieverts     

mbillips: Kool Whip is the nastiest crap Americans eat on a regular basis, and that is saying something.

.


No, that would be Miracle Whip....
here is a recipe to make your own miracle whip at home:
Take 1 Quart of the cheapest crappy mayonnaise you can buy, and put it in a bowl
Whisk in 2 cups of sugar and one cup of urine.

VOILA!!!

Miracle Whip!

16 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
PainInTheASP    [TotalFark]  

hetheeme: It says a great deal about this guy that so many were fooled by the satire. I thought it sounded exactly like his kinda thing until I saw the Satire tag.

On an opposite note, Alton Brown will be on Mythbusters this week. Cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner with a car.


And making popcorn!

16 Nov 2012 10:31 AM
stewbert     

Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.


Maybe, but Cool Whip is good. Kool whip sounds generic, it must be for poor people.

16 Nov 2012 10:53 AM
WalMartian     

stewbert: Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

Maybe, but Cool Whip is good. Kool whip sounds generic, it must be for black poor people.


/I keed

16 Nov 2012 11:12 AM
N-deutetrei     

stewbert: Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

Yeah, but for some reason that vinyl siding is what thanksgiving tastes like. Yeah, yeah, whipping cream is easy and takes 5 minutes (cold stainless steel bowl etc etc) but there's something precious about lying on the couch in a food coma eating pumpkin pie (canned pumpkin, which is barely even pumpkin, according to NPR) covered in enough Cool Whip to spackle a small room. It's in the same vein as having the cranberry sauce out of the can (and leaving in the shape of the can on the plate) even though home-made cranberry sauce is easy, or those crunchy onions on the greenbean casserole (hello, MSG!). Combine that with the Lions losing and a grandparent saying something offensive, and it's how thanksgiving is. So Cool Whip isn't necessarily good, and not better than whipped cream, but in the traditional bring-you-back-to-childhood sense, it's right.

That said, I may not have pumpkin pie this year at my little dinner. In fact, I might not even have turkey - cornish game hens, anyone?

/Not sitting at the kids table, either

16 Nov 2012 11:13 AM
The Mind Boggles     

JSieverts: mbillips: Kool Whip is the nastiest crap Americans eat on a regular basis, and that is saying something.

.

No, that would be Miracle Whip....
here is a recipe to make your own miracle whip at home:
Take 1 Quart of the cheapest crappy mayonnaise you can buy, and put it in a bowl
Whisk in 2 cups of sugar and one cup of urine.

VOILA!!!

Miracle Whip!


i think your recipe would be an improvement.

16 Nov 2012 11:46 AM
Donnchadha    [TotalFark]  

JSieverts: mbillips: Kool Whip is the nastiest crap Americans eat on a regular basis, and that is saying something.

.

No, that would be Miracle Whip....
here is a recipe to make your own miracle whip at home:
Take 1 Quart of the cheapest crappy mayonnaise you can buy, and put it in a bowl
Whisk in 2 cups of sugar and one cup of urine.

VOILA!!!

Miracle Whip!


That's just horrible and offensive. I can't believe you could say such an awful thing.

It's 3:1 sugar to urine.

16 Nov 2012 12:30 PM
JSieverts     

Donnchadha: JSieverts: mbillips: Kool Whip is the nastiest crap Americans eat on a regular basis, and that is saying something.

.

No, that would be Miracle Whip....
here is a recipe to make your own miracle whip at home:
Take 1 Quart of the cheapest crappy mayonnaise you can buy, and put it in a bowl
Whisk in 2 cups of sugar and one cup of urine.

VOILA!!!

Miracle Whip!

That's just horrible and offensive. I can't believe you could say such an awful thing.

It's 3:1 sugar to urine.


Not to mention that I should have used high fructose corn syrup instead of sugar

16 Nov 2012 01:58 PM
Prof. Ann Marion     

N-deutetrei: stewbert: Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

Yeah, but for some reason that vinyl siding is what thanksgiving tastes like. Yeah, yeah, whipping cream is easy and takes 5 minutes (cold stainless steel bowl etc etc) but there's something precious about lying on the couch in a food coma eating pumpkin pie (canned pumpkin, which is barely even pumpkin, according to NPR) covered in enough Cool Whip to spackle a small room. It's in the same vein as having the cranberry sauce out of the can (and leaving in the shape of the can on the plate)


If the cranberry sauce doesn't have the can-ridges, then how do you know where to slice it???

16 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
Inhalien     
Do you know what's better? Do you?

I do.

Take some good pumpkin pie mix (stay with me) and mix it with mostly softened vanilla ice cream. Make sure there's some nutmeg and a bit of spice in it. Now pour into a ready-made pie crust and freeze it. You will enjoy this.

Or use this Link

16 Nov 2012 06:12 PM
mbillips     

N-deutetrei: stewbert: Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

Yeah, but for some reason that vinyl siding is what thanksgiving tastes like. Yeah, yeah, whipping cream is easy and takes 5 minutes (cold stainless steel bowl etc etc) but there's something precious about lying on the couch in a food coma eating pumpkin pie (canned pumpkin, which is barely even pumpkin, according to NPR) covered in enough Cool Whip to spackle a small room. It's in the same vein as having the cranberry sauce out of the can (and leaving in the shape of the can on the plate) even though home-made cranberry sauce is easy, or those crunchy onions on the greenbean casserole (hello, MSG!). Combine that with the Lions losing and a grandparent saying something offensive, and it's how thanksgiving is. So Cool Whip isn't necessarily good, and not better than whipped cream, but in the traditional bring-you-back-to-childhood sense, it's right.

That said, I may not have pumpkin pie this year at my little dinner. In fact, I might not even have turkey - cornish game hens, anyone?

/Not sitting at the kids table, either


You sound like your mother couldn't cook, or you are from the Midwest, or both.

16 Nov 2012 06:56 PM
anfrind     

N-deutetrei: stewbert: Sass-O-Rev: Enemabag Jones: They could at least do it with real whipped cream.

/Kool whip is garbage.

So very much THIS!! Kool Whip is like Cheez Whiz-- two ingredients short of being vinyl siding.

Yeah, but for some reason that vinyl siding is what thanksgiving tastes like. Yeah, yeah, whipping cream is easy and takes 5 minutes (cold stainless steel bowl etc etc) but there's something precious about lying on the couch in a food coma eating pumpkin pie (canned pumpkin, which is barely even pumpkin, according to NPR) covered in enough Cool Whip to spackle a small room. It's in the same vein as having the cranberry sauce out of the can (and leaving in the shape of the can on the plate) even though home-made cranberry sauce is easy, or those crunchy onions on the greenbean casserole (hello, MSG!). Combine that with the Lions losing and a grandparent saying something offensive, and it's how thanksgiving is. So Cool Whip isn't necessarily good, and not better than whipped cream, but in the traditional bring-you-back-to-childhood sense, it's right.

That said, I may not have pumpkin pie this year at my little dinner. In fact, I might not even have turkey - cornish game hens, anyone?

/Not sitting at the kids table, either


Canned "pumpkin" is usually butternut squash, which is a bit sweeter than pumpkin and easier to work with (smooth skin that is actually edible when cooked, as opposed to the inedible ribbed shell of a pumpkin).

I know I'm in the minority here, but I do like to experiment a bit during Thanksgiving. One of my family's traditional side-dishes is an Irish colcannon (creamy mashed potatoes mixed with boiled cabbage), and one year I replaced some of the heavy cream in the recipe with grated Gouda cheese. Not authentic at all, but it was a huge hit.

17 Nov 2012 12:25 AM
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