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   Suspected murderer John McAfee asks around the internet if anyone knows of a cell phone that can't be tracked. Expected to soon tweet his complaints about how expensive lye is

16 Nov 2012 01:26 PM   |   10810 clicks   |   Gizmodo
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GreenAdder    [TotalFark]  
Bath salts, dude. Not even once.

16 Nov 2012 11:08 AM
nekom    [TotalFark]  

GreenAdder: Bath salts, dude. Not even once.


Yeah, really. Some googling found his original postings asking about MDPV and wow, that dude is off the rails.

16 Nov 2012 11:13 AM
scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  
I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection

16 Nov 2012 11:19 AM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  
"Well this is awkward..."

16 Nov 2012 11:37 AM
Diogenes    [TotalFark]  
The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?

16 Nov 2012 11:49 AM
hogans     
I own a cell phone that can't be tracked.

It's analog, and therefore outdated technology in the US.

He never said it had to work properly.

16 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
chasd00     
um.. maybe he should call tech support at his own company

Link

16 Nov 2012 01:30 PM
Grote-Man     

Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?


I believe the primary language in Belize is Englis. I could be wrong tho

16 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
Rev. Skarekroe    [TotalFark]  
I can tell you from my recent jury duty experience - if you're going to commit a crime, leave your phone at home. Trust me on this one.

16 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
justanotherfarkinfarker     
Probably ham to a cell link. Not that they couldn't find your location, just be a lot harder.

16 Nov 2012 01:33 PM
A Shambling Mound     

Grote-Man: Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?

I believe the primary language in Belize is Englis. I could be wrong tho


It is.

"Bonkers" is about the nicest thing you could call the guy at this point.

16 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
HailRobonia     
The police in Belize search mainly in the trees.

16 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
doubled99     
I'm picturing the detective assigned to the case. He probably has lots of other cases he's working on but every 15 minutes he gets a popup on his computer screen saying "It's time to update the McAfee case again." 


heh

16 Nov 2012 01:36 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     

Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?


img21.imageshack.usView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
styckx    [TotalFark]  

scottydoesntknow: I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection


This joke has been told over 9,000 times

16 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
jdcgonzalez     
When I go out killing, I just bring a Tracfone.

16 Nov 2012 01:37 PM
Sticky Hands    [TotalFark]  
an older satellite phone maybe?

Seems that any cell phone would give you away as soon as it connected to a tower.

16 Nov 2012 01:38 PM
signaljammer     
God bless you, Whitfield Diffie!

16 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
uncleacid     
If he died from a virus, would that be ironic?

16 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
BigLuca    [TotalFark]  

GreenAdder: Bath salts, dude. Not even once.


McAfee antivirus dude. Not even once.

16 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
scottydoesntknow    [TotalFark]  

styckx: scottydoesntknow: I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection

This joke has been told over 9,000 times


2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:42 PM
iaazathot     
This guy is coocoo for cocoa puffs. I mean, McAfee sucks donkey balls for lots of reasons since his departure from the company. I can't imagine that having a lunatic run the company at any time made it an outstanding product.

16 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
almejita     
HailRobonia


That actually made my morning

16 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
K.B.O. Winston     
It's called a 'burner.'

Let's put aside the crazy for a moment and think about the fact this guy apparently hasn't seen a movie or crime-related tv show for the last decade.

16 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
halmot     
What a man who wants an untraceable phone might look like:

img838.imageshack.usView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
mekkab     

K.B.O. Winston: It's called a 'burner.'

Let's put aside the crazy for a moment and think about the fact this guy apparently hasn't seen a movie or crime-related tv show for the last decade.


There's a party in my mind,
and I hope it never stops

16 Nov 2012 01:45 PM
thurstonxhowell     

mekkab: K.B.O. Winston: It's called a 'burner.'

Let's put aside the crazy for a moment and think about the fact this guy apparently hasn't seen a movie or crime-related tv show for the last decade.

There's a party in my mind,
and I hope it never stops


Excellent song. I think this bit is even more appropriate, though:

Take a walk through the land of shadows
Take a walk through the peaceful meadows
Try not to look so disappointed
It isn't what you hoped for, is it?

16 Nov 2012 01:47 PM
thisisarepeat     
Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.

16 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
Valarius     
Actually some outshoot of DARPA makes such a cell phone. Government use only, though.

16 Nov 2012 01:48 PM
zvoidx     
Perhaps someone hacked his account or just walked into his place and used his browser/remembered passwords to make it look like him as a person concerned about being tracked as to bolster a case later.

16 Nov 2012 01:50 PM
machodonkeywrestler     

styckx: scottydoesntknow: I can't wait until they find him.

They'll probably give him a free 30-day trial, then charge him out the ass for shoddy protection

This joke has been told over 9,000 times


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.


Oooooo.... thanks!

16 Nov 2012 01:51 PM
DeathByGeekSquad     
Perception is a powerful thing -

The police have openly stated that they don't consider him a suspect, but want to question him to get a better understanding of the tense situation involving the two neighbors. McAfee, on the other hand, has made so many enemies in the area that he can't trust anyone.

I'm guessing that it comes down to something like this:

McAfee had a spat with the neighbor. The neighbor tried to sicken some dogs, but ended up killing them instead. McAfee ranted/raged about it to the 'help' - who are known criminals, probably saying something along the lines of, "ILL KILL THE MOTHERFARKER, HE SHOULD BE DEAD FOR WHAT HE DID.", so the 'help' went ahead and killed him.

Now McAfee, because he didn't intentionally order the murder, is fearful that he'll be framed as intentionally setting things up because of his 'on the edge' lifestyle and grandiose actions of the past.

16 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
The Larch     
I was very disappointed to learn that "Quorum Sensing" was McCafee's name for some new-age stoner pseudo-science crap, and not some nifty new computer technology he was working on.

And before anyone jumps on me, I am aware that quorum sensing is a name for a real thing, that describes a real phenomenon, observed by real biologists, in real laboratories.

Anyhow, all this talk eminds me of an investment opportunity that I'd like to offer to farkers with a lot of money and not a lot of brains. I'd like to find people who want to invest in a spa where trained therapists holistically rebalance the natural symbiotic flora in a client's body, to restore physical, mental, and spiritual well being. Basically, you know, a massage parlor that sells criminally expensive yogurt enemas to idiots like Gwyneth Paltrow. All of the girls who work there would be young and good looking, and have tasteful tattoos and unusual hair color, and would be trained to use a lot of fancy pseudo-science new-agey crap words shamelessly stolen from the real biology research that has been in the popular press recently. I figure I could make a killing with this. Specifically, you know, I think I could make a lot of money by fleecing the investors out of their money. I'm sure as hell not going to actually open any massage parlors that spoons yogurt into Gwyneth Paltrow's butt. Or maybe I will... that actually kind of sounds like a good idea on some levels. Anyhow, if you're rich and stupid, send me money and find out what I do with it.

16 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
Stone Meadow     
[threadjack]
Is there such a thing as an anonymous cell phone? IOW, one that isn't tied to a credit card or something else that identifies you? This is for a BiL who's semi homeless and doesn't have any credit, but who will carry a phone if my wife (his sister) buys it for him. He doesn't want a regular cheap cell phone tho because "they" will be tracking him and trying to sell him shiat, etc.. TIA
[/threadjack]

16 Nov 2012 01:54 PM
CapeFearCadaver    [TotalFark]  

Stone Meadow: [threadjack]
Is there such a thing as an anonymous cell phone? IOW, one that isn't tied to a credit card or something else that identifies you? This is for a BiL who's semi homeless and doesn't have any credit, but who will carry a phone if my wife (his sister) buys it for him. He doesn't want a regular cheap cell phone tho because "they" will be tracking him and trying to sell him shiat, etc.. TIA
[/threadjack]


Ppfffffffft. Whatever, McAfee.

16 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
borg    [TotalFark]  

Grote-Man: Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?

I believe the primary language in Belize is Englis. I could be wrong tho


Belize is a British Commonwealth.

16 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
kroonermanblack     

thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.


Uh, ya, that's a reasonable way to obtain enough lye to dissolve a corpse. The damn thing would be rotted before you were halfway through.

16 Nov 2012 01:57 PM
thesloppy     

The Larch: ..a spa where trained therapists holistically rebalance the natural symbiotic flora in a client's body, to restore physical, mental, and spiritual well being. Basically, you know, a massage parlor that sells criminally expensive yogurt enemas to idiots like Gwyneth Paltrow. All of the girls who work there would be young and good looking, and have tasteful tattoos and unusual hair color, and would be trained to use a lot of fancy pseudo-science new-agey crap words shamelessly stolen from the real biology research that has been in the popular press recently.


We call it "Portland"

16 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
WelldeadLink     
Just call the FBI Store, they've been supplying criminals and terrorists with gear for years.

16 Nov 2012 01:59 PM
A Terrible Human     

DeathByGeekSquad: Now McAfee, because he didn't intentionally order the murder, is fearful that he'll be framed as intentionally setting things up because of his 'on the edge' lifestyle and grandiose actions of the past.


Nah that crazy motherfarker has been synthesizing his own bath salts. I could very well believe he killed someone.

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
vudukungfu    [TotalFark]  
They are going to back trace him.
Consequences will never be the same.

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
Pincy     
If there's one thing I know for sure, this will end well.

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
dittybopper    [TotalFark]  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Probably ham to a cell link. Not that they couldn't find your location, just be a lot harder.


It wouldn't be ham to cell, it would be what we call "autopatch". Basically, the ham radio acts like a cellphone, except there is no triangulation from the repeater sites because they are all on different discrete frequencies, and your radio isn't transmitting location data (unless you are using APRS).

You can still be triangulated the old-fashioned way, via RDF, but that has to happen while you are actually transmitting.

They could tell you made the call from a particular repeater, though. Given that any repeater might have coverage for 50 miles or more in any direction, though, proving a person was in any one area based on that would be problematic.

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
Eunuch Provocateur     

thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.


And then water? How much?

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
ha-ha-guy     
Dude just get a burner. I doubt Belize will be any more effective at tracking them than the DEA/ATF/etc are (as in as long as you are one and done, you're fine).

Secondly by this point it is painfully clear that even if McAfee had no role in the murder, he needs some time in a mental health facility.

16 Nov 2012 02:02 PM
cgraves67     

borg: Grote-Man: Diogenes: The Prime Minister of Belize yesterday called McAfee "bonkers."

Is "bonkers" a cognate?

I believe the primary language in Belize is Englis. I could be wrong tho

Belize is a British Commonwealth.


Founded by pirates no less. Excuse me, privateers.

16 Nov 2012 02:04 PM
thisisarepeat     

kroonermanblack: thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.

Uh, ya, that's a reasonable way to obtain enough lye to dissolve a corpse. The damn thing would be rotted before you were halfway through.


You could always cover the top of a trash can with cheese cloth and make larger batches.

16 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
jtown     

hogans: I own a cell phone that can't be tracked.

It's analog, and therefore outdated technology in the US.

He never said it had to work properly.


If they still have AMPS in Belize, they could still tell which tower(s) he's using and roughly how far he is from said towers.

16 Nov 2012 02:08 PM
The Larch     

thisisarepeat: kroonermanblack: thisisarepeat: Why pay for lye? Just take ashes from your charcoal grill or fire place (wood ash) and put it in your drip style coffee maker where the grounds go. Don't drink what comes out, cuz its lye.

Uh, ya, that's a reasonable way to obtain enough lye to dissolve a corpse. The damn thing would be rotted before you were halfway through.

You could always cover the top of a trash can with cheese cloth and make larger batches.


Or, you know, you can probably still walk into most hardware stores and buy red devil drain cleaner with cash.

16 Nov 2012 02:11 PM
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