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   World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England, sadly for Obama and Romney, lawyers and politicians are excluded under the rules as this is a strictly amateur competiton

16 Nov 2012 01:19 PM   |   3156 clicks   |   Huffington Post
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JackieRabbit     
Is spentmiles competing?

16 Nov 2012 01:19 PM
Deep Contact     
Everything I say is a lie, but I'm really lying.

16 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
ChipNASA     
MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

16 Nov 2012 01:20 PM
TheMega     
I won!!!! Got the $10 million grand prize, too!

16 Nov 2012 01:21 PM
Snarfangel    [TotalFark]  

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

16 Nov 2012 01:22 PM
Theaetetus    [TotalFark]  

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


Fortunately, he loves oral and his girlfriend is an anteater.

16 Nov 2012 01:23 PM
blatz514    [TotalFark]  
images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:24 PM
Atomic Spunk     
Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.

16 Nov 2012 01:25 PM
dv-ous     
I had a threesome with Christina Ricci and Christina Hendricks. It was great, I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong name.

16 Nov 2012 01:25 PM
Smeggy Smurf    [TotalFark]  
img91.imageshack.usView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
special20    [TotalFark]  

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


At least it's not a penis tank.
.
¶▅c●▄███████||▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅||█~ ~:~:~ :~:█►
▄██ PENIS PENIS PENIS ██▅▄▃▂
███████████████████████►
◥☼▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙☼◤

16 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
doubled99     
Atomic Spunk Smartest
Funniest
2012-11-16 01:25:11 PM


Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter




That actually bothers you?

16 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
Englebert Slaptyback     

World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England


Please tell me it's in Yorkshire...

*RsTFA*

Rats.

16 Nov 2012 01:26 PM
Magorn    [TotalFark]  

Atomic Spunk: Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.


That was the Mods not me, but it will cut down on the flame-war aspects of this thread

(and no I ain't telling you which one was there originally)

16 Nov 2012 01:27 PM
Theaetetus    [TotalFark]  
Magorn (favorite: Attorney): Atomic Spunk: Romney and Obama? Nice fence-sitting, Pussymitter.

That was the Mods not me, but it will cut down on the flame-war aspects of this thread


Nice try, but you're excluded from competing.

16 Nov 2012 01:29 PM
ChipNASA     

Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.


************************************* ******************************** * ************************************** ******************************** ******************
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ..............................My PENIS (actual size)................................. ................................ ..................................... 0
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
************************************* ******************************** * ************************************** ******************************** ******************

/and I'm not even hard.

16 Nov 2012 01:31 PM
fappomatic     
I'd was a shoe-in for the win but Ron Swanson and I were busy curing bacon.

16 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
LeroyBourne     

dv-ous: I had a threesome with Christina Ricci and Christina Hendricks. It was great, I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong name.


Why don't you call your own name out during sex like everyone else here does?

16 Nov 2012 01:32 PM
doubled99     
JackieRabbit Smartest
Funniest
2012-11-16 01:19:41 PM


Is spentmiles competing?




What makes him extraordinary is the fact that all of spentmiles' stories are, in fact, true.

16 Nov 2012 01:33 PM
blackhonda    [TotalFark]  
How about the stolen valor dude from American Idol. He is such a big liar he claims he doesn't know he is lying. He was on Doctor Phil yesterday, what an idiot. (I know, I watched Doc Phil and I am therefore an idiot as well)

16 Nov 2012 01:34 PM
The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men     

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


* As viewed on an iPhone.

16 Nov 2012 01:38 PM
Bondith     
My grandfather is 17 feet tall.

/disqualified by reason of being Official Tribe Liar

16 Nov 2012 01:39 PM
groppet     
I hope they dont let anyone involved in politics enter. They would win every farking year!!!

16 Nov 2012 01:40 PM
Fark Rye For Many Whores     
www.dailyfundose.netView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:43 PM
Trapper439     
Back in 1934 I deliberately crash landed a light plane on the slopes of Mount Everest and climbed to the top.

Oh, wait, that was this idiot:

Link 

He formed a plan to fly a small aeroplane to Tibet, crash-land it on the upper slopes of Everest, and walk to the summit. It was a bold plan; a solo flight half way across the world would have been a significant undertaking for the best aviators of the day, while no mountaineer of the time would have contemplated a solo ascent of Everest - a feat which was not to be achieved until 1980. A practical problem was posed by the fact that Wilson knew nothing about either flying or mountaineering, so he set out to learn these.

16 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
uncleacid     
Don't get to close to the pants on fire guy.

16 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
Mr.Man     
I am a Nigerian Royal who has millions owed to him but just needs $50,000 to obtain it.Please help

16 Nov 2012 01:46 PM
Fark Irony Police     
www.thealmightyguru.comView Full Size

16 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
lostcat     
No point in me entering a contest like that. I'm a terrible liar.

16 Nov 2012 01:52 PM
ProfessorOhki     

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

************************************* ******************************** * ************************************** ******************************** ******************
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ..............................My PENIS (actual size)................................. ................................ ..................................... 0
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
************************************* ******************************** * ** ...


I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?

16 Nov 2012 01:53 PM
Smeggy Smurf    [TotalFark]  
I swear, this isn't a lie. I was out there fishing off the shore just outside the Coast Guard base on Kodiak Island. The day was a bright, sunny 78 degrees in late August. So I was out there having ridden my bicycle the 18 miles uphill from the Lake Louise housing. It's not a bad ride. You can make it in the length of the Meatloaf song Bat out of Hell.

Back to the story, there I was tossing out a 4oz pixie some 80 yards out past the wreckage of the H-52 that went down back in '65. That's when this monster fish, I'm talking 40 lbs of coho hit the lure. Jesus what a monster. I know, you're thinking bullshiat, 40 lbs? The state record is only 28 lbs. Well I know that now. Shut up, I'm telling my story.

90 minutes of fighting this bastard and I finally manage to drag it up onto the beach. Son of a biatch if a goddamned sea lion didn't swim up and take the farking thing. Well before the farker could get back into the water I shot it with my old man's .357 I carried in case of bears.

You know the bears right? Huge farkers. Stand some 16 feet at the shoulder. Well this .357 had some black tips just to make sure. So I shoot this sea lion right in the back of it's head. It's brains get blown everywhere. The fish has some tooth marks but otherwise it's in good shape. fark it, we're hungry, we'll eat it.

So I strap this thing to the backpack, bring it back home and we make a big meal out of it. It gets smoked in our Little Chief, we have some fresh caught dungeness crab to go with it. Big crab too, the legs were 2 feet long if an inch.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

16 Nov 2012 01:56 PM
iheartscotch     
THE LIAR


I was born about ten thousand years ago
In Bellmullet in the County of Mayo
It was me that chased the vermin, while St. Patrick preached the sermon
And I'll whoop the man that says it isn't so

Chorus:
Singing rightful too-ra-laddie too-ra-lee
There is no one who can tell a lie like me
You can search until you tire, you won't find a bigger liar
I've been lying since the dawn of history

I saw Eve go pickin' apples off a tree
She came over and she offered one to me
I turned and said, "Dear madam, go try your luck with Adam
I'm going home to have some fish and chips and tea."

I saw Delilah cuttin' Samson's hair
She snipped away until his head was bare
When he couldn't run away, she married him next day
And they opened a barber shop in Clare

With King Billy at the Boyne I heard them call
On his followers to follow till they fall
Then he said, "We'll win quite easy, and we'll canonize, young Paisley."
Then he up and sang a verse of Derry's Walls

In was back in sixty-two in Donoghue's
I was singing there with Luke and Ronnie Drew
Luke sez, 'Nick your singing's grand, so let's form a ballad band
And a great big hairy beard I went and grew

Oh I'd like ride your sister's motor bike I'd like ride your sister's motor bike
I'd like ride your sister,  I'd like ride your sister I'd like ride your sister's motor bike

Would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car
would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car
Would you like to ride on Johnson, would you like to ride on Johnson
Would you like to ride on Johnson's Motor Car.

It was during World War II I met them all
There was Roosevelt and Churchill and De Gaulle
Then one day I nearly fainted, I was having my house painted
There was Hitler hanging paper in the hall

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
RedVentrue     

ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG


Both of them? One is shorter than the other.

16 Nov 2012 02:00 PM
Valeriyance     

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

************************************* ******************************** * ************************************** ******************************** ******************
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ..............................My PENIS (actual size)................................. ................................ ..................................... 0
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
************************************* ******************************** * ** ...



Was this posted from your iPhone?

16 Nov 2012 02:01 PM
SpartacusHobbs     

lostcat: No point in me entering a contest like that. I'm a terrible liar.


fry-iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

16 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
Valeriyance     
Should have finished reading comments before posting. Oh well.

16 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
Ambitwistor     

Trapper439: Back in 1934 I deliberately crash landed a light plane on the slopes of Mount Everest and climbed to the top.

Oh, wait, that was this idiot:


He didn't actually crash land his plane on Everest; it was impounded in India.

/guess you were lying ...

16 Nov 2012 02:05 PM
ChipNASA     

Valeriyance:

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men


Beat you to it........

www.stereoluz.netView Full Size


16 Nov 2012 02:07 PM
Silverstaff     

ProfessorOhki: I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?


I'm viewing it on a phone too, I think it's supposed to be a nub, maybe ChipNASA has a case of micropenis.

16 Nov 2012 02:10 PM
DrunkenInsomniac     
Please tell me more about Obama and Romney, it's such great reading

16 Nov 2012 02:13 PM
Quadruple Entendre     
If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he needs to come clean with her, and maybe she'll still love him, maybe she won't, but at least he will have his sanity back. But the problem is, there wasn't much sanity there to begin with - clearly. And the other problem is, IT'S F(_)CKING HILARIOUS, and I don't to stop hearing the stories.

16 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
Evil High Priest     

Englebert Slaptyback: World's Biggest Liar Competition underway in England


Please tell me it's in Yorkshire...

*RsTFA*

Rats.


When we were kids, we had it rough!

16 Nov 2012 02:14 PM
ChipNASA     

Silverstaff: ProfessorOhki: I'm viewing this on a phone right now, so.... Also, is it supposed to be broken in half like that?

I'm viewing it on a phone too, I think it's supposed to be a nub, maybe ChipNASA has a case of micropenis.


I AM NOT TYPING MY POSTS ON ON AN iPHONE USING MY PENIS AS A STYLUS!!!!!

/runs away crying....LOL!!! 8=========D~~

16 Nov 2012 02:20 PM
robohobo     

Quadruple Entendre: If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he ...


That's...pretty awesome on all levels. He should tell her the truth, and remind her she's a stripper, if needed. In fact, you may want to remind HIM that she's a stripper.

16 Nov 2012 02:29 PM
RedVentrue     

Quadruple Entendre: If any one can top this, I will be thoroughly impressed. So help me this is a true story...the story isn't the lie, but the story is about a lie.

My best friend of 20 years likes himself some strippers. Spends a considerable amount of time at strip clubs. He's a crazy looking BRIGHT red haired guy, like carrot-top red, and it's long and down to the base of his back. Big red beard, looks a lot like Hamish from Braveheart, only creepier.

So, we used to do this thing where we'd talk like Scotsmen after Braveheart came out. We just ran around doining it wherever we went, we even picked up a book on Scottish slang to sound authentic. He got REALLY good at it. Just some goofy shiat guys do in their 20s. Well, we're almost 40 now.

We forgot about our Scotsmen days, as time moved on and we did other crazy shiat. About two years ago, he decides to bring it back. He goes into a strip club, and decides he's going to be scottish. The whole time he's there. Well, the girls fawned all over him, at least as he tells it, which doesn't surprise me - strippers are easily amused. So he keeps going back. For two years. Scottish every time he goes. He has a back story, about his home in the hihglands, blah blah blah...I wish I could remember all the details because the story iteself is pretty entertaining. So, he's talking like a Scot, getting lap dances, for a couple of years, and one of the strippers takes a pretty serious liking to him.

They're dating now. Have been for months. And he has to be a Scotsman around her ALL THE TIME. When they go out. When they stay in When they fark. When he wakes up in the morning next to her. ALL THE TIME.

We just talked a bit ago, and he's in love with her. And he has no idea what to do about it. She thinks they're gonna go back to his homeland, live in the highlands, restore the family farm, raise a family of little lying redheads...

I don't know what to tell him. On one hand, I want to tell him, as a friend, that he ...


I think he needs to go back to Scotland, rebuild the "family" farm, and raise sheep.

Not enough sheep in the world.

BAAAAAA!

16 Nov 2012 02:30 PM
Noticeably F.A.T.    [TotalFark]  

Rufus Lee King: FARK is one of the most intellectually stimulating websites I have ever seen.


It sucked pretty hard until you showed up.

16 Nov 2012 02:32 PM
Pants full of macaroni!!     
Remember when I told you that I would never lie? Well, that was the first time.

16 Nov 2012 02:35 PM
muck4doo     
I submitted this with a better headline.

16 Nov 2012 02:44 PM
The Angry Hand of God     
The cake.

16 Nov 2012 02:48 PM
imtheonlylp     

ChipNASA: Snarfangel: ChipNASA: MY PENIS IS THIS

*------------------------------------ -------------------------------- - -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------*
BIG

That's kind of thin and weirdly shaped.

************************************* ******************************** * ************************************** ******************************** ******************
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ..............................My PENIS (actual size)................................. ................................ ..................................... 0
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................ *
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ........................*
..................................... ................................ . ...................................... ................................ ...................................... ...................... *
************************************* ******************************** * ** ...


Your wee-wee has stripes like a Yankees uniform?

16 Nov 2012 02:49 PM
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