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   Meat eaters lie, steal and even commit sex crimes according to a thoroughly unbiased vegetarian textbook

17 Nov 2012 07:09 AM   |   5323 clicks   |   The News International
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EvilEgg    [TotalFark]  
On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.

17 Nov 2012 07:10 AM
phrawgh     
Isn't this the Southern Baptist Sunday School Guidebook?

/fanatics of all flavors are the same

17 Nov 2012 07:12 AM
Nick Nostril     
Sounds like somebody needs to get their ass back to the call center and stop writing stupid books.

17 Nov 2012 07:21 AM
randomjsa     
i48.tinypic.comView Full Size

17 Nov 2012 07:24 AM
monstera     
I only commit my sex crimes against vegetables

17 Nov 2012 07:28 AM
MurphyMurphy     
YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT WE DO, AND IF YOU OPEN YOUR YAP WE'LL THROW YOU ON THE BARBI AND EAT YOU TO

HURRAAH!!! MORE MEAT FOR THE F***ING MEAT EATERS!!


/off to lie cheat and steal for a rare steak
//dog is right behind me

17 Nov 2012 07:35 AM
Vegan Meat Popsicle     
Maybe they should get a textbook that clearly explains how correlation and causation work instead.

17 Nov 2012 07:39 AM
Watchtower's Fiction Editor     
Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.

17 Nov 2012 07:39 AM
Archie Goodwin     
They also breathe, sleep and defecate.

17 Nov 2012 07:58 AM
Alleyoop     
I guess Vegans don't commit sex crimes because they can't get a hard-on?

17 Nov 2012 07:59 AM
NutWrench     
Well, to be fair, they DID teach a lion how to eat tofu.

17 Nov 2012 08:03 AM
Bob Down     
Atheists, meat-eaters and other awesome humans. Mmm sacrelicious.

17 Nov 2012 08:05 AM
edmo    [TotalFark]  
I heard much the same of the Air Breathers.

17 Nov 2012 08:11 AM
prince of peas     
i50.tinypic.comView Full Size

17 Nov 2012 08:17 AM
ZAZ    [TotalFark]  
That lamb was asking for it!

17 Nov 2012 08:20 AM
Richard_The_Clown     

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


But what about all the good things Hitler did?

17 Nov 2012 08:26 AM
Okoboji     
You know who else was a vegetarian?

Because as we all know, vegetarians are the pinnacles of human civilization.

17 Nov 2012 08:33 AM
Cybernetic    [TotalFark]  
The vast majority of criminals regularly eat bread. Therefore, banning bread will reduce crime.

/Wait, what?

17 Nov 2012 08:34 AM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
But I'm looking forward to a promising political career.

17 Nov 2012 08:44 AM
Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich     

Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?


You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?

17 Nov 2012 08:50 AM
Prey4reign    [TotalFark]  
That rotting banana gif is hypnotic.

17 Nov 2012 08:55 AM
ciberido     

EvilEgg: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.


i.ytimg.comView Full Size

What non-Vegetarians singing about sexcrime might look like.

17 Nov 2012 08:58 AM
ciberido     

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


Boy, that escalated quickly.
i4.ytimg.comView Full Size

Sure, I figured the thread would Godwin eventually, but ... only 8 posts in?

17 Nov 2012 09:01 AM
ciberido     

Archie Goodwin: They also breathe, sleep and defecate.


Let's be fair.
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

Everybody does that.

17 Nov 2012 09:02 AM
Onkel Buck     
Sadly this is true, I would sell my mother for a bacon cheeseburger.

Also, this guy is a big liar, says he will pay on Tuesday but never does
i26.photobucket.comView Full Size

17 Nov 2012 09:10 AM
dready zim     
Vegetarians die every day, as do non smokers.

17 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
incircles     
it probably is true that vegetarians have more morels.

17 Nov 2012 09:16 AM
Verzio     
There's a word for humans who don't eat meat.

It's "chimpanzee".

17 Nov 2012 09:33 AM
JasonOfOrillia    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: EvilEgg: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

Yes it is true, but the same is true of vegetarians.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
What non-Vegetarians singing about sexcrime might look like.


Pull the bricks down, one by one.

17 Nov 2012 09:40 AM
randomjsa     

Verzio: There's a word for humans who don't eat meat.

It's "chimpanzee".


They do eat meat. It may not be one of their primary staples but they will gladly eat it if they get some.

Hence an old article from an expert that stated "they will eat meat with great relish" to which somebody said "Where do they get the relish from?"

17 Nov 2012 09:46 AM
GoodHomer     

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?

You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?


It makes me fear what Hitler would've been like had he gone full vegetarian.

17 Nov 2012 09:50 AM
BolshyGreatYarblocks     

Watchtower's Fiction Editor: Vegetarians start world wars and massacre six million Jews. So there.


Hitler was also heavily medicated, so no more Xanax, Prozac, Cialis, Vicodin, Codeine, arthritis meds, steroids and estrogen supplements, birth control pills, etc. etc. etc...............

Never Again!!!!!

17 Nov 2012 09:50 AM
BolshyGreatYarblocks     
Der Ewige Fleisch-Esser

17 Nov 2012 09:51 AM
scruffy1     
human, chimp, orang, gorilla.... this is not only the order of higher apes from most animal protein consumed to least, but also the list of highest intelligence to least. There is a possible correlation as hunting requires more cognitive skill than foraging. And chimps are known to wage war on other chimp bands as well as tear their own children from limb to limb if paternity is in question. Bonobos on the other hand believe in farking to solve conflict. We should strive to be like the bonobo.

17 Nov 2012 09:58 AM
dumbobruni     
the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.

17 Nov 2012 10:03 AM
stevarooni    [TotalFark]  

ciberido: Sure, I figured the thread would Godwin eventually, but ... only 8 posts in?


Yeah, but it's kind of begging for it, isn't it? :D

17 Nov 2012 10:05 AM
Dinkledort     
I know from experience this is totally untrue. I was vegan for a few years and still committed plenty of sex crimes. More, even. Because, you know... I was morally superior in other ways.

17 Nov 2012 10:28 AM
DrunkenInsomniac     

dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.


He got a young intern to eat his meat

17 Nov 2012 10:29 AM
Clemkadidlefark     

DrunkenInsomniac: dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.

He got a young intern to eat his meat


Bazinga.

17 Nov 2012 10:59 AM
Onkel Buck     

dumbobruni: the perfect counterpoint to the article: Bill Clinton is vegan.


No wonder McDonalds sales have dropped recently

17 Nov 2012 11:19 AM
notatrollorami     
I read that as "Most eaters lie...."

It makes just as much sense either way.

17 Nov 2012 11:30 AM
Son of Thunder     

monstera: I only commit my sex crimes against vegetables


Stop it! "Crunch" means "no"!

17 Nov 2012 01:03 PM
MBooda    [TotalFark]  

Okoboji: You know who else was a vegetarian?


3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

/he was a no good kid

17 Nov 2012 01:10 PM
offmymeds     
FTA: On a page about non-vegetarians, the book said that they "easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes".

They forgot card playing, whistling and dancing on Sunday.

17 Nov 2012 01:15 PM
Okoboji     

MBooda: Okoboji: You know who else was a vegetarian?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x219]
/he was a no good kid


Gee thanks. I recently had that soundtrack running through my head in a rather maddening fashion... it was finally gone... now, thanks to you, it's back.

17 Nov 2012 01:44 PM
Jon iz teh kewl     
www.whiskyintelligence.comView Full Size


it's just a little airborne, it's still good it's still good!!

17 Nov 2012 01:46 PM
EbolaNYC     
Hitler was a vegetarian, so this makes total sense.

17 Nov 2012 02:17 PM
digitalrain     

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Richard_The_Clown: But what about all the good things Hitler did?

You know that the Hitler was a vegetarian thing is Nazi propaganda, and while he might have reduced his meat consumption during periods of his life, he was never actually a vegetarian, right?


But most, if not all, of the members of the Manson Family were vegans.

17 Nov 2012 02:32 PM
Terrible Old Man     
Every dog in the world eats nothing but meat and they do none of those things. Heck, a dog cannot even lie. Eating meat must make you a saint. You know what they don't eat? Vegetables. fark vegetables. Vegetables must be terrible things if an animal that eats it's own poop won't eat them. Therefore vegetables make you lie, cheat, steal, and hump the cat.

17 Nov 2012 02:47 PM
theorellior     

ciberido: Everybody does that.


The thing about that book cover that bugs me is that apples don't poop. Really. You can look it up.

17 Nov 2012 03:02 PM
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