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   17 euphemisms for sex from the 1800s. Never will look at a lobster kettle the same way

17 Nov 2012 04:42 PM   |   27381 clicks   |   The Week
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener     
7. Blanket hornpipe

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

17 Nov 2012 04:11 PM
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Spanky_McFarksalot     
I want my three minutes back

/thats what she said

17 Nov 2012 04:46 PM
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MrHappyRotter     
Bow chicka wow-wow.

17 Nov 2012 04:49 PM
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MrHappyRotter     
Or, euphemitized: Brown Chicken Brown Cow

17 Nov 2012 04:50 PM
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AssAsInAssassin     
I'll see your 19th Century and raise you a 17th Century:

Making the beast with two backs.

Bonus: "joyfully rubbing and frotting their bacon 'gainst one another"

Link

17 Nov 2012 04:50 PM
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Onkel Buck     
7. Blanket hornpipe

There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.

This later became known as the Dutch Oven

17 Nov 2012 04:52 PM
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AssAsInAssassin     
FTA: 17. Tiff

A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.

They had Photoshop in the 19th Century? I did not know that.

17 Nov 2012 04:52 PM
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BLEMDAR     
Cant get the idea of a red bumpy lobster twat out of my head.

Thanks Subby.

17 Nov 2012 05:00 PM
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Fano    [TotalFark]  
Titterywhoppet

17 Nov 2012 05:01 PM
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twizzted     
FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.


As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.

17 Nov 2012 05:04 PM
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Oznog     
"In flagrante delicto" is a legal favorite of mine.

This is legal-speak for "caught balls-deep, right farking there, dude!"

17 Nov 2012 05:04 PM
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John Redcorn     
What about 19th century euphemisms for fapping?

17 Nov 2012 05:05 PM
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Bondith     

BLEMDAR: Cant get the idea of a red bumpy lobster twat out of my head.

Thanks Subby.


If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.

17 Nov 2012 05:07 PM
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The Southern Dandy     
I reckon they forgot "Poke", didn't they darlin'?

i.ytimg.com

17 Nov 2012 05:09 PM
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Brick-House     

twizzted: FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.


So that's where chowder comes from.

17 Nov 2012 05:10 PM
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HotWingAgenda    [TotalFark]  
I like the Chinese phrase for a woman by herself, "boiling milk."

17 Nov 2012 05:11 PM
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inline4     

17 Nov 2012 05:11 PM
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oldtaku     
Bondith:If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.

And of course the generous helping of crabs.

17 Nov 2012 05:13 PM
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Anderson's Pooper     
St. George and the Angry Dragon - A Tale of Two Centuries of Infidelity

17 Nov 2012 05:16 PM
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smadge1     
Horizontal folk dancing.

17 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
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KrispyKritter    [TotalFark]  
considering it would take some work to find out if the bulk of the article is hogwash i think folks should just make up random nonsense and claim it as history. fark it, who cares.

/ye olde philadelphia deep dish finger pie

17 Nov 2012 05:22 PM
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renko     
smashing pissers

anybody? bueller?

17 Nov 2012 05:27 PM
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brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
If the groundsels are rocking', don't come a-knockin'.

17 Nov 2012 05:29 PM
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TWX     
BEATING THE BISHOP!

/got nothing

17 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
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Rhett Khan     

17 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
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InternetSecurityGuard     
I gotta figure out a way to work "amorous congress" into my conversation tomorrow.

17 Nov 2012 05:38 PM
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CigaretteSmokingMan     
i172.photobucket.com

17 Nov 2012 05:40 PM
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fusillade762    [TotalFark]  

17 Nov 2012 05:41 PM
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Glitchwerks     

AssAsInAssassin: FTA: 17. Tiff


www.diariomotor.com

17 Nov 2012 05:44 PM
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just passing through     
This article makes me want a mouth hug from my girl

17 Nov 2012 05:57 PM
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Shadowtag     
I have never done any of these things. I have, however, farked the shiat out of someone, repeatedly.

/It was the most disappointing 84 seconds of her life. Repeatedly.

17 Nov 2012 06:02 PM
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quatchi     
Giving a girl a green gown can only happen in the grass.

Alliteration you can fap to? Approves!

In the story of St. George and the Dragon, the dragon reared up from the lake to tower over the saint. "Playing at St. George" casts a woman as the dragon and puts her on top.

Go on...

17 Nov 2012 06:05 PM
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StokeyBob     

Bondith: If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.


I pictured her bouncing around like a lobster in a kettle.

17 Nov 2012 06:06 PM
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degenerate-afro     
"Mommy, what's 'amorous congress'"
"Well sweetie, it's when two or more well meaning people get together to go over some issues. After a lot of bragging and posturing in the beginning there is an extended period of shouting and banging on the table. During this period 90% of the bragging proves to be false all parties involved feel deflated and impotent. In the end many people walk out disappointed, but sometimes once in a great while something magical happens."
"Why would people go through so much trouble if they know they will be disappointed in the end?"
"That's because the few times something good happens, it becomes well worth the effort."

17 Nov 2012 06:30 PM
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RevCarter     
I've always been fond of "making feet for baby's shoes"

17 Nov 2012 06:35 PM
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Spiralmonkey    [TotalFark]  
The newspapers of the time called it criminal conversation, crim. con. for short. I've had some quick conversations in my time but nothing that required a visit from the constabulary.

17 Nov 2012 06:39 PM
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fat boy     

Brick-House: twizzted: FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.

So that's where chowder comes from.


A guy went to a brothel and asked for a whore that could take 12 inches. The madam gave him her best one, and the guy went in and started banging the hell out of her, but she started screaming that she couldn't take it. So he goes back to the madam and she gives him another whore. Same thing -- he starts banging her and she starts screaming in pain. He's pissed off now and about to leave when the madam begs him to try one more whore; she assures him this whore will be his best fark ever. So he goes in a dark room and starts banging another chick, and everything's going great; she keeps taking it and he's loving it. Then all of a sudden, she starts foaming at the mouth. The guy gets freaked out and runs out to tell the madam, who brings over the custodian and says "Hey, Frank, the dead one's full again."

17 Nov 2012 06:41 PM
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Propain_az     
Digging up Piss Clams?

17 Nov 2012 06:48 PM
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free_waffles     
So that's why all my friends in college took basket weaving...

17 Nov 2012 07:06 PM
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Baz the Spaz     
Doing the horizontal rhumba.

17 Nov 2012 07:06 PM
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Apos     
amorous congress just rolls off the tongue. Pity that it's no longer in vogue.

17 Nov 2012 07:10 PM
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Catattack     
Shakin' the sheets.

17 Nov 2012 07:22 PM
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digitalrain     
I always liked in flagrante delicto

17 Nov 2012 07:25 PM
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What_Would_Jimi_Do     
i1.ytimg.com

looks like chuck is taking the skin boat to tuna town

17 Nov 2012 07:29 PM
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Aye Carumba     
Just wait, in the 20th century you get to sink the Bismark.

17 Nov 2012 07:29 PM
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Vorpal     
I Wish I Was In Dixie
Franklin Pierced
Emancipation of the Pants

17 Nov 2012 07:59 PM
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specialkae     
We call it playing charades. It's from an Alfred Hitchcock hour episode. And yeah, we do have a kid present in the house. He has no clue what we're talking about in casual conversation, thank heavens.

17 Nov 2012 08:08 PM
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Clockwork Kumquat     
2. Basket-making

"Those two recently opened a basket-making shop." From a method of making children's stockings, in which knitting the heel is called basket-making. 


Oh... That makes it all so much clearer to me now.

17 Nov 2012 08:25 PM
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Millennium     
I was always fond of "seeing each other asleep" myself (it's in Dracula).

17 Nov 2012 08:32 PM
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Anthracite     
Doing the Laundry.

17 Nov 2012 09:02 PM
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