7. Blanket hornpipe

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

I want my three minutes back

/thats what she said

Bow chicka wow-wow.

Or, euphemitized: Brown Chicken Brown Cow

I'll see your 19th Century and raise you a 17th Century:

Making the beast with two backs.

Bonus: "joyfully rubbing and frotting their bacon 'gainst one another"

Link

7. Blanket hornpipe

There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.

This later became known as the Dutch Oven

FTA: 17. Tiff

A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.

They had Photoshop in the 19th Century? I did not know that.

Cant get the idea of a red bumpy lobster twat out of my head.

Thanks Subby.

Titterywhoppet

FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.

"In flagrante delicto" is a legal favorite of mine.

This is legal-speak for "caught balls-deep, right farking there, dude!"

What about 19th century euphemisms for fapping?

BLEMDAR: Cant get the idea of a red bumpy lobster twat out of my head.

Thanks Subby.

If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.

I reckon they forgot "Poke", didn't they darlin'?

twizzted: FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.

So that's where chowder comes from.

I like the Chinese phrase for a woman by herself, "boiling milk."

Necessary

Bondith:If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.

And of course the generous helping of crabs.

St. George and the Angry Dragon - A Tale of Two Centuries of Infidelity

Horizontal folk dancing.

considering it would take some work to find out if the bulk of the article is hogwash i think folks should just make up random nonsense and claim it as history. fark it, who cares.

/ye olde philadelphia deep dish finger pie

smashing pissers

anybody? bueller?

If the groundsels are rocking', don't come a-knockin'.

BEATING THE BISHOP!

/got nothing

Letterman covered this.

I gotta figure out a way to work "amorous congress" into my conversation tomorrow.

"Oiling the musket"

AssAsInAssassin: FTA: 17. Tiff

This article makes me want a mouth hug from my girl

I have never done any of these things. I have, however, farked the shiat out of someone, repeatedly.

/It was the most disappointing 84 seconds of her life. Repeatedly.

Giving a girl a green gown can only happen in the grass.

Alliteration you can fap to? Approves!

In the story of St. George and the Dragon, the dragon reared up from the lake to tower over the saint. "Playing at St. George" casts a woman as the dragon and puts her on top.

Go on...

Bondith: If it helps, British redcoats were called lobsters, hence the origin of lobster kettle.

I pictured her bouncing around like a lobster in a kettle.

"Mommy, what's 'amorous congress'"
"Well sweetie, it's when two or more well meaning people get together to go over some issues. After a lot of bragging and posturing in the beginning there is an extended period of shouting and banging on the table. During this period 90% of the bragging proves to be false all parties involved feel deflated and impotent. In the end many people walk out disappointed, but sometimes once in a great while something magical happens."
"Why would people go through so much trouble if they know they will be disappointed in the end?"
"That's because the few times something good happens, it becomes well worth the effort."

I've always been fond of "making feet for baby's shoes"

The newspapers of the time called it criminal conversation, crim. con. for short. I've had some quick conversations in my time but nothing that required a visit from the constabulary.

Brick-House: twizzted: FTFA
12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

As a Mainer, when I think of a kettle with seafood, I generally think of chowder. I may vomit now.

So that's where chowder comes from.

A guy went to a brothel and asked for a whore that could take 12 inches. The madam gave him her best one, and the guy went in and started banging the hell out of her, but she started screaming that she couldn't take it. So he goes back to the madam and she gives him another whore. Same thing -- he starts banging her and she starts screaming in pain. He's pissed off now and about to leave when the madam begs him to try one more whore; she assures him this whore will be his best fark ever. So he goes in a dark room and starts banging another chick, and everything's going great; she keeps taking it and he's loving it. Then all of a sudden, she starts foaming at the mouth. The guy gets freaked out and runs out to tell the madam, who brings over the custodian and says "Hey, Frank, the dead one's full again."

Digging up Piss Clams?

So that's why all my friends in college took basket weaving...

Doing the horizontal rhumba.

amorous congress just rolls off the tongue. Pity that it's no longer in vogue.

Shakin' the sheets.

I always liked in flagrante delicto

looks like chuck is taking the skin boat to tuna town

Just wait, in the 20th century you get to sink the Bismark.

I Wish I Was In Dixie
Franklin Pierced
Emancipation of the Pants

We call it playing charades. It's from an Alfred Hitchcock hour episode. And yeah, we do have a kid present in the house. He has no clue what we're talking about in casual conversation, thank heavens.

2. Basket-making

"Those two recently opened a basket-making shop." From a method of making children's stockings, in which knitting the heel is called basket-making. 

Oh... That makes it all so much clearer to me now.

I was always fond of "seeing each other asleep" myself (it's in Dracula).

Doing the Laundry.