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   Introducing "Alpha Nail," nail polish for men that's 100% heterosexual

18 Nov 2012 05:29 PM   |   10528 clicks   |   Some Manly Guy
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EvilEgg    [TotalFark]  
Somehow, I don't think the color is the problem with nail polish not being manly enough. I think I could get every color this company offers already.

I think the problem is, most woman aren't really going for a guy who is worried about chipping a nail.

18 Nov 2012 04:05 PM
Coco LaFemme     
Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."

I think it's weird to see men in nail polish, but whatever floats your boat.

18 Nov 2012 04:07 PM
EvilEgg    [TotalFark]  

Coco LaFemme: Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. You have to be sexually attracted to men for that to happen, and I don't think some nail polish will cause you to suddenly look at a guy's butt and think, "I need to snap my dick off in that."


hmmmm, I hope reason #3 is female, cause it caused me to think that.

18 Nov 2012 04:16 PM
BarkingUnicorn     
My son went through a goth phase in middle school. His mother freaked out over black fingernail polish. I wasn't thrilled but I saw no harm in fingernail polish.

But I nearly disgorged when I saw his painted toenails. I don't like that even on women. Just an anti-fetish of mine, I guess.

18 Nov 2012 04:28 PM
Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist     
One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.

18 Nov 2012 04:35 PM
Because People in power are Stupid     

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


It's not that they are living their lives.

It's the marketing of that product to me. It offends my sensibilities of what is and isn't stupid.

If other people buy into it then they are obviously moronic rubes... they don't offend me so much as scare me by their mere existence.

18 Nov 2012 05:11 PM
EvilEgg    [TotalFark]  
"EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead

18 Nov 2012 05:17 PM
brantgoose    [TotalFark]  
Nails for men. Harder, faster, longer, sharper, pointier, er, more like penises?

18 Nov 2012 05:30 PM
orclover     
assets.motivationalgenerator.comView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:30 PM
Ebenator    [TotalFark]  
That website is ridiculous.

18 Nov 2012 05:31 PM
Thisbymaster     
applejack.ponychan.netView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:32 PM
RoyHobbs22     
Gay. NTTIAWWT

18 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
TheManofPA    [TotalFark]  
So it is one of those, I'm not gay but the guy applying it while giving me a hummer is things?

18 Nov 2012 05:33 PM
robohobo     
lol. homos.

18 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
Nick Nostril     
Welp, that finishes out my Christmas wish list.

18 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
NetOwl     
I can see how it could help guys trying to pull off certain looks. Especially young, hip(ster) looks.

Not my thing, but I have boring (but reliable) fashion sense.


I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)

18 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
rappy     
hahahahaha

18 Nov 2012 05:34 PM
iheartscotch     
Wearing nail polish is about as gay as talking with a lisp, and saying everything is just super fabulous.

/ nttawwt

18 Nov 2012 05:35 PM
whatshisname     
Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

www.alphanail.comView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:35 PM
rappy     

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


I'd hit it, even with nail polish on

18 Nov 2012 05:36 PM
Nick Nostril     

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Then what the fark are we supposed to do for entertainment? A dude can only beat meat so many times a day.

18 Nov 2012 05:36 PM
probesport     
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:37 PM
encyclopediaplushuman    [TotalFark]  
Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay

18 Nov 2012 05:37 PM
lordjupiter     
Don't care about the gay/manly thing. If there's a market for it, fine, whatever. But it seems like someone's always trying to sell men on women's products by reframing it as masculine (body wash, body scrubs, nail polish, shampoo, creams, anal lube, etc)

18 Nov 2012 05:37 PM
robohobo     

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


No, that won't ever happen. Even commenting on what other people care about is caring how those people spend their lives. Fark itself relies on this.

Also, people love to gossip.

18 Nov 2012 05:38 PM
GORDON     

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: One of these days we'll stop caring about how other people are living their lives.


Not that Obamacare is now in effect.

18 Nov 2012 05:39 PM
Fista-Phobia     
White people problems.

18 Nov 2012 05:39 PM
rappy     

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


hahahahaha

you write pony songs? and you wear glitter nailpolish. you're gay you just don't know it yet

18 Nov 2012 05:39 PM
andrewagill     
I went through a phase where I wore nail polish, and I'm a dude. Didn't make me gay.

Course, I only wore it on one nail.

And it was clear.

And I was wearing it because I had a brittle nail that kept splitting and NutriNail kept it from doing that. Painful sumbiatch.

Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.

18 Nov 2012 05:40 PM
PrivateCaboose    [TotalFark]  

EvilEgg: "EfficiencyNo self respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. Our acetone free wipes preserve the strengthening power of Alpha Nail, and come in a durable, easy to transport plastic round. 15 wipes per round."

Four bucks for 15 pad of nail polish remover. That's what offends me. I'll take 200 cotton balls and half a liter of acetone for $5.00 instead


Right, because buying cotton balls would be unmanly.

18 Nov 2012 05:40 PM
PrivateCaboose    [TotalFark]  

encyclopediaplushuman: Wears Nail Polish
I'm A Guy

/currently glitter-blue
/no, i'm not gay


Wearing nail polish doesn't make you gay. It does, however, make me assume you're gay. But in DC, that's just a safe bet.

18 Nov 2012 05:41 PM
rappy     

andrewagill: Diet changes cured that nail issue, though.


ct.fra.bzView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:42 PM
dorkymidgetqueen     
I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com

18 Nov 2012 05:43 PM
FuryOfFirestorm     
Please. I know someone that went to college with Alpha Nail, and they say it "experimented" with guys during sophomore year.

18 Nov 2012 05:44 PM
GoldenEagle     
Alpha Nail is technologically and biologically superior to anything on the market. Formulated with both Citral and Ginseng to strengthen and invigorate the nails down to the beds, our formula keeps nails harder and healthier.

That is clearly some high-tech shiat right there.

18 Nov 2012 05:44 PM
robohobo     

dorkymidgetqueen: I much prefer Manglaze. Alpha Nail is... uh how do I put this... douchey in their vibe. They take 'emselves WAY too seriously, and it's hilarous.

http://www.manglaze.com


There's nothing gay at all about a product called man glaze, nope, nothing at all.

/may as well call it baby batter

18 Nov 2012 05:45 PM
quatchi    [TotalFark]  
Are people still liking things other people don't like?

Shame on them!

18 Nov 2012 05:46 PM
Bondith    [TotalFark]  

NetOwl:
I don't get how dressing to make yourself appealing to women makes you gay, but I don't understand the macho posturing culture at all. (Okay, I actually do understand what the point is supposed to be, and I've observed enough of this kind of behavior to have a good idea of where these guys's insecurities lie, but it's still stupid.)


Painting yourself like a woman is supposed to attract women? I think there's a self-defeating flaw in that. NTTAWW any of the people involved, just a certain incompatibilty.

I'll admit my views on the whole metrosexual thing are lagging a decade or three behind. If they want to preen and look pretty, I'm not going to stop them, but I reserve the right to quietly snicker behind their backs.

whatshisname: Oh, come on. You can look like this guy and be surrounded by bimbos

[www.alphanail.com image 321x284]


He's not surrounded, just flanked.

18 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
probesport     
This is as manly as manly gets

s16.postimage.orgView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
Fista-Phobia     
i1199.photobucket.comView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
DownDaRiver     
Sure to be a Farker Stocking Stuffer favorite this shopping season, if you know what I mean....

And I think you do...

18 Nov 2012 05:47 PM
Sail The Wide Accountancy     
Yeah. I wore nail polish in college during my, "I think I'm David Bowie" phase. I have NEVER done as well with the ladies as I did during that phase of my life. (Of course that's half to do with just being ON a stage and playing Any type of music than the nail polish.)

The point is that I just called it nail polish and eyeliner. I knew what I was putting on.

18 Nov 2012 05:48 PM
swingerofbirches     
It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.

18 Nov 2012 05:49 PM
robohobo     

probesport: This is as manly as manly gets

[s16.postimage.org image 492x356]


You know he's straight 'cause of the posters.

18 Nov 2012 05:49 PM
Descartes     
Nail Polish?

www.kcconfidential.comView Full Size

18 Nov 2012 05:50 PM
Fista-Phobia     

swingerofbirches: It starts at birth with blue and pink baby rooms and clothes. Then boy dolls and girl dolls. Then lunch boxes with cars and some with princesses.

I can get all of that kind of.

But why do we have skincare for men and women, shampoos for men and women, razors for men and women, and now different nail polish for men? I've heard of men who won't use a skincare product if it doesn't specifically say it's for a man on it.

Virginia Slims even capitalized on the women's movement with "You've come a long way, baby."

Men end up paying a fortune for specialized skincare and now makeup and nail polish. It's all the same stuff.

I don't really find it interesting or scandalizing at all that men wear make-up or nail polish. You see it in rock and roll all the time. It's the making-it-OK marketing that is so fascinating to me.


Two words. Focus groups.

18 Nov 2012 05:50 PM
lordargent     
Is there something I can put on my nails that will let them take a razor sharp edge? Because if not, I'm not buying it.

//watched too much kung fu as a kid

18 Nov 2012 05:50 PM
WTP 2     
gateway

18 Nov 2012 05:51 PM
Muffin'sTop     
hhahahahah roger huerta, c'mon man

this article deserves to be in the sports tab as well

18 Nov 2012 05:51 PM
Nick Nostril     

Fista-Phobia: [i1199.photobucket.com image 371x476]


Smile for the camera, sweethart!

18 Nov 2012 05:51 PM
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